4. ONE
ONE
F ear hits an entirely new level when you have a child.
Caitlin rushed through the house, pulling out clothes, favorite books, treasured stuffies, and other necessities while the ever-present guard stood at the door, his wary eyes increasing her anxiety even further. Isabelle chased her through the house with incessant questions, a finger in her mouth, and eyes wide with worry.
“But Mommy, why we go?” Isabelle whined.
“I told you, sweetie. We’re going to see some of Mommy’s old friends.” She threw some big girl undies straight from the dryer into the suitcase without folding them, grateful that Isabelle no longer needed diapers. Of course, that would make the long drive a bit more tedious.
Caitlin glanced at the ever stoic bodyguard, wondering how he would take having to pull over every five minutes to use the potty. He turned toward her and glanced at his watch, his intent as crystal clear as the thought of how he would react to stopping to use the potty.
“What friends, Mommy?”
What friends indeed. Caitlin’s stomach sickened as she thought of arriving back in Hope Lake. She hadn’t been to the town since the week she found out she was pregnant.
The idea terrified her, and not because of friends she had barely spoken with for almost four years, but because of him…Jordan Myers.
Her husband…or ex-husband, she guessed. Her throat tightened as a ball formed, refusing to let her swallow.
“Mommy, do friends have horsies?” Isabelle tugged on her shirt, pulling her attention down to her.
“I…I don’t know. I haven’t seen them in a long time, but I’m sure we can find horsies while we are there.” She kissed the top of her daughter’s head, fear bubbling up within her.
“Miss Caitlin,” the guard said, looking at his watch, “your father says we have to leave now.”
“Why Hope Lake?” she lamented, stuffing the last items into her suitcase and zipping it up.
“Father’s orders.” The guard kept his vigilant gaze on hers, and she blinked several times before realizing she had been lamenting aloud.
She had known that this might be an issue. She bit her lip as she stuffed a backpack full of snacks and drinks, remembering the dinner conversation with her parents two nights before.
“Witness protection?” she had said, choking on the steak she had put in her mouth.
“I didn’t want to pull you into this, pumpkin, and they refuse to allow me to bring my entire family and employees into the program. If things get…if they get scary, you’ll have to leave and possibly at a moment's notice.” Her dad had squeezed her hand, imploring her with glistening eyes, tears barely held at bay.
“Where would I go?” Caitlin had looked down at her daughter playing with her food on her plate, humming a little song, and completely tuning out the adult conversation around her.
“Home,” her mother said gently. “No one here knows about our place in Hope Lake. It’s under my side of the family. We have already notified the renters they have to find another place to live.”
“This can’t be happening…you know why I left…” she had cried, and her mom had brought her into her comforting arms.
Caitlin’s eyes filled at the memory. What would she do without her mom? She had been her whole support over the last almost four years. And now…now they were saying she couldn't even contact them?
“Mommy, what wrong, Mommy? You sad?” Isabelle tugged on her shirt again. “We go see Gammy. Gammy make it all better.”
“We…” her voice caught. “We can’t see Gammy right now. It’ll be okay. It’s like an adventure.”
“Miss Brandt,” the guard said, his eyes glancing out the window as a car pulled up.
Caitlin pulled the backpack over her shoulders and drew Isabelle into her arms as the guard lifted the two suitcases and nodded toward the back door. She froze when the doorbell rang, turning half back.
The guard nudged her.
“Caitlin!” a woman sing-songed from the door. “I brought a new coloring book for Isabelle.”
The guard narrowed his eyes.
“It’s just our neighbor,” Caitlin said as she put her wiggling daughter down.
“We don’t have time,” he said, but Caitlin rolled her eyes as Isabelle squealed with delight.
“Ginny!” Isabelle ran to open the door.
“Two minutes,” the guard said as he passed, pushing past Ginny to take the suitcases to the waiting SUV.
“Who’s Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome?” Ginny waggled her graying brows. She had taken Caitlin and Isabelle under her wing when they moved in three years before.
“Mr. Grumpy,” Isabelle said with a frown.
Ginny laughed. “Well, maybe this will cheer you up. It’s all about unicorns.”
“Unicorns!” Isabelle jumped up and down, hugging the book to her. “Look, Mommy!”
Caitlin squatted and looked at the book. “Wow. Look at all the pink and purple and sparkles, your favorite colors. What do you tell Miss Ginny?”
“Thank you!” She threw her little arms around the older lady who had become a surrogate grandma to the girl.
“Oh, anything to make my princess smile.” Ginny glanced back at the guard waiting with the doors open and glaring at them. “Going on a trip?”
“Oh…” Caitlin gulped, reality kicking her swiftly as she fumbled for words. “Yeah, my parents…”
“Mommy friends,” Isabelle blubbered out.
“Miss Brandt,” the guard warned, coming to take the backpack from her.
“Oh, you’re going on a trip with your parents! How lovely!” Ginny said, glancing at Isabelle, then the guard, before leveling her eyes back on Caitlin. “Well, be sure to let me know when you get back, and I’ll make those yummy sparkly cookies Isabelle loves so much.”
“Yay!” Isabelle cheered.
“Thank you, Ginny…I…thank you…thank you for all you do for us.” Caitlin gave the woman a quick embrace before picking Isabelle up and putting her in her seat.
“Anytime, dear,” Ginny said, but her eyebrows squished together. “Everything’s alright, right? Everyone is okay?”
“We’re fine.” Caitlin pushed forth a smile as she finished buckling Isabelle’s car seat and faced the woman again. “I’ll call you when we get back.”
“Okay,” Ginny said, giving her a slight wave.
Caitlin moved around to the other side of the car, getting in the backseat with her daughter. She watched Ginny step back as the guard drove out of the driveway, leaving the bewildered woman waving as they sped down the road.
“Mommy, we there yet?”
Caitlin sighed. “No, sweetie, we just left. It’s going to be a long trip.” She rifled through the backpack until she found some crayons. “Why don’t you color for a while?”
She turned toward the window, watching the houses in her quiet neighborhood blur past, turning into bigger suburbs, and then they pulled onto the freeway. Her vision blurred as tears burned her eyes. She wiped at them, angry at letting herself get carried away, and sat up to talk with the guard.
“Miller, right?”
His eyes flicked in the rear view mirror, meeting hers. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Well, Miller. Do you know how to get where we’re going?”
“Yes. Your father doesn’t leave things to chance.”
“No, I suspect he doesn’t,” she muttered. She should have known that his big shot lawyer gig he left Hope Lake for would have meant trouble. Defense attorneys had the potential to make big money, but it meant working with big criminals. “Any chance I can persuade you to go someplace else?”
His eyes flicked to hers again in a glare that gave her his answer.
“Well, whatever he does to gain your loyalty better be good.” She sighed, sitting back.
“You will be protected,” Miller said, his tone monotone but fierce.
“I don’t doubt that,” she muttered.
She had protection before. She ran from it, and she didn’t want to go back.
Her eyes settled on her daughter, happily humming away while she colored a unicorn purple, even mostly staying within the lines. Caitlin studied her daughter’s flashing brown eyes, her pouty mouth, the strong jut to her jaw, and swallowed. Would he see those characteristics for what they were?
If he didn’t, Isabelle’s carefree, adventurous spirit would do it.
Caitlin bit her lip, fighting the desire to see him again and fearing it would kill her. Jordan…
Her eyes stung again as she tore her gaze off her daughter. She saw him every time she looked at her daughter, her heart breaking all over again. Her mom had said to give it time, but there was no time that would heal this pain.
“Mommy?” Isabelle reached for her. “I gotta go potty,” she whispered.
Caitlin dropped her head. They hadn’t even made it out to the city limits. “Uh, Miller? We have to make a rest stop.”
“Already?” Miller asked, his voice thick with agitation.
“You better get used to it. That’s how it is with a potty-training child.” Caitlin jutted her chin out, defiant in the only way she could be.
“Can’t you put a diaper on her for the trip?”
“I no wear diapers! I a big girl!” Isabelle demanded.
“There you go. Now, I saw a sign for restaurants up ahead. That will do.”
“Your father said no stops…”
“My father wasn’t thinking of how little girls travel. Now do your job and protect us while my big girl learns how to be responsible.”
Miller groaned, but he shifted lanes and pulled off at the next exit.
Twelve potty stops and two meal stops later, they pulled into Hope Lake County as the sun rose over mountains still bare of snow. The leaves hadn’t turned yet, and as she watched the trees sway in the wind, she longed to breathe the fresh, late-summer air.
At once, her body relaxed even as her heart clenched. How could she feel such conflicting emotions at once? But she did…
She glanced at her sleeping child, then focused on the mountain view that had been the love of her life for so long. She had skied those slopes, ridden mountain bikes down them, and as the lake came sparkling into view…she remembered paddle boarding the still waters, and the echo of his laugh sounded so real she looked around the car, expecting to see Jordan right by her side.
“Almost there, Miss Brandt.”
She blinked before catching Miller’s gaze in the mirror. “Are you planning on staying with us this entire time?”
“Yes, and Douglas and Peters will join us in the next day or two.”
“Wonderful,” she muttered. “Well, if you could drop the Miss, I would appreciate that. We’ll already stand out like a sore thumb in Hope Lake as it is. If I have three guards following me around calling me Miss Brandt the entire time, whoever is after my father won’t have to look for me: the gossip will travel throughout the entire state.”
“Point taken, Caitlin,” Miller said, a slight sparkle in his eye. “It’s right down this road.”
“Yes, I know,” Caitlin said, sighing with longing as the familiar street brought out sentimental moments she had spent the last four years pushing away.
Large lakeside houses lined the street, the lake glistening beyond them as the sun crested the mountains, shining down on the clear waters with promise. Hope Lake.
Her childhood home came into view, seeming smaller than it used to. Two cars were parked in the driveway, and Miller pulled up on the street.
“The place was supposed to be empty.” Miller unlatched the leather around his gun, holstered under his jacket.
“Whoa…don’t go all commando on me. It’s probably still the renters. Dad only gave them notice a few days ago.”
“He ordered them to leave at once,” Miller said as he exited the vehicle and walked toward the house.
On the porch, brightly colored plastic bikes caught her eye, drawing her to the play structure she glimpsed around the corner and the bike with streamers leaned up against the garage. Miller shouted, arms waving at the doorway.
Caitlin glanced at Isabelle, who still slept soundly, and quietly slipped from the car, quickly closing the distance between her and the yelling Miller.
“Miller,” she said, stopping him mid-yell.
“You go on back to the car, Miss Brandt.”
Caitlin pushed in front of the bodyguard and extended her hand to the wide-eyed man in the doorway. “Hi, I’m Caitlin.”
“I’m sorry.” He took her hand limply, his eyes shifting from her to Miller and back again. “I know we were told to move out, but there aren’t any properties open and my kids just started school. We’re looking, I promise we are…”
“Your problems are not ours, we—” Miller started, but Caitlin elbowed him in the stomach.
“By law, you have thirty days. Take your time, Mr. …?”
“Mike…I’m Mike Tinkerton.”
“Miss…Caitlin,” Miller said, his voice low.
“It’s the law, Miller. Don’t worry. We’ll find something…” Though, as she turned away from a perplexed Mike Tinkerton, she bit her lip. It was the end of summer, but not late enough to have rentals emptying.
She had Miller drive into town and park in front of the hotel nestled in the center of the main street, next to the hardware store, the sheriff’s and the other small shops that made Hope Lake so special.
“What now?” Miller growled.
“I know this place. Leave the next steps up to me.”
“Your father—”
“Leave him up to me, too.” She reached for the door handle and stepped out, but as she did, what she saw had her freezing, unable to move or speak or even breathe.
In front of the hardware store, he stood talking with a beautiful blonde and a lanky teen who…she gasped. The teen had to be Krista. She looked like an exact replica of Tabby. Caitlin searched the woman for any telling features, but she was a stranger…a very attractive stranger whose smile widened as Jordan teased her.
The woman slapped him lightly on the chest and got into a car, but Krista, it must be her, wrapped her arms around him before climbing into the car with the woman. Jordan stood there, waving as the car drove away before he turned and their eyes met.
The surprise on his face had her reeling in the aftershock of everything that had just happened. The woman, Krista…had he remarried and taken Krista on after all? After everything they had been through? The blood drained from her face, leaving the skin prickling and numb, and the world faded until muscular arms caught her and the only voice who could make her name sound like a serenade repeated it over and over.
The world crashed in upon Jordan as he sat on the sidewalk in town, holding the one woman who had ever taken hold of his heart. He called her name, smoothing her hair back, noticing a new line of worry between her brows, a slenderness in her cheeks, and the shadow of sleepless nights under her eyes. Yet, he blinked past his body’s own desire to pass out, not able to believe that he held his wife in his arms once more.
“Caitlin, Caity. Come on, baby. Wake up.” The words came automatically, as if the last four years never existed, as if she had never left his arms.
“Take your hands off her.” A deep, humorless voice pulled Jordan out of his revelry.
Jordan glanced up at the mountain of a muscle-bound man staring down with hard eyes and a hand on a holstered gun peeking out from under his jacket. Glancing back down at Caitlin, he wondered what in the world she had gotten herself into.
“I’m not sure who you are, buddy,” Jordan said, giving the guy a wry smile. “But this is my wife.”
“What?” Caitlin mumbled, her eyes blinking open, unfocused and just as beautiful as ever.
“Well, you were always one for grand entrances,” Jordan said, brushing back a wayward curl from her face.
“Huh?” Caitlin blinked again, her eyes finally focusing on his. “Jor-Jordan?”
“Yeah, baby, I’m here,” he said, unexpected emotion choking his throat.
She pushed away, trying to sit on her own. He supported her, stood up, and brought her up next to him.
“What happened?” She held her head as if she had spun around too many times like they did as kids.
Jordan shrugged. “Must have been the shock of seeing your forgotten husband?” he said, arching a brow. He should be angry with her. He should be livid. Yet, only relief swept through him, relief and longing—longing for her to be home, for them to forget everything and go back to how things were.
Mr. Muscle Bound cleared his throat.
“I’m fine, Miller,” Caitlin said, waving the man back. “Go back to the car before the Sheriff gets suspicious.”
“You mean Derrick,” Jordan said, aware of the man glaring as he made his way back to the car, but he didn’t let his gaze leave Caitlin’s face, knowing the reaction she would have.
“Derrick?” She met his eyes. “Our Derrick? The Sheriff?”
“Yep.” Jordan slipped his thumbs in his pockets, otherwise he would pull her back into his arms. He couldn’t stop his gaze from roving all over her, ensuring she was okay, still unbelieving that she stood here in front of him. He sighed. “Man, it’s good to see you, Caity.”
Her eyes widened, and she stepped back slightly. “I didn’t expect…I mean…you’ve uh…you’ve bulked out.”
Jordan flexed his pecs with a laugh. “Hard work will do that to a man.”
They stared at each other for several seconds. Jordan bit back the words he really wanted to say. He stiffened against the need to have her in his arms and the desire to pick her up and take her home where she belonged.
Unable to take the silence any longer, he asked, “Are you—”
“I was—” They spoke at the same time.
Jordan laughed, his shoulders easing as a small smile pulled at her beautiful lips—lips he loved to watch move as she talked and smiled and that he loved to kiss.
She cleared her throat, bringing him back to meet her eyes. “I was going to see if Mr. Malory had any rooms…”
“Rooms?” He glanced back at the Hope Lake Inn, then turned back to her. “A hotel? Really, Caitlin?”
“Well…” She bit her lip. “My parents’ cabin still has renters…and, well, I…we…”
Jordan glared at the man in the dark SUV staring him down. The vehicle looked like one of those undercover FBI vehicles he saw on TV shows with its tinted windows and sleek black exterior. “You’re really with Mr. T?”
“With…who? Miller?” A laugh bubbled forth before she clamped a hand over her mouth. “He doesn’t look anything like Mr. T.”
Jordan smiled, allowing the longing and love to fill him, even knowing it would destroy him. “I’ve missed your laugh.”
Her expression lost its smile, turning serious. “How can you look at me like that?”
“It’s how I’ve always looked at you,” he said, stepping closer, erasing the distance between them.
Her lips parted, but her eyes filled, the tears reflecting the early morning sun. “Jordan, I…”
“Mommy!” a shrill voice squealed as the car door opened next to them.
Caitlin stiffened, her eyes widening as she met Jordan’s.
He shook his head, trying to process what was happening…that the child calling for her mommy now hugged tight to his wife. The closer he peered, the more he saw Caitlin’s replica in her arms.
“What’s going on, Caitlin?” He stepped back, the pain in his chest making him rub a hand against his rib cage as the truth hit him. He did the math quickly, thinking the girl to be around two, judging by her size. “That fast? Was I that forgettable?”
“No…it’s not what you think…” Caitlin bit her lip, tears spilling from her eyes. “Jordan, I…”
“That your friend, Mommy?” the little girl asked, wiggling out of her arms. “Hi! I’m Isabelle. Who you?”
Jordan blinked, his breath stuck in his chest as he stared at the girl, wondering if she was an apparition.
“You don’t talk much.” The little girl crossed her arms. “This Hope Lake?” She peered up at him. “It small. Where playground?”
Jordan pointed around the back of the hardware store where the lake glistened, feeling as if he lived in a twilight land.
“Water!” the girl squealed, taking his hand and pulling him toward it. “Come on, Mommy! I want to see the water!”
“Sweetie,” Caitlin called after them. “You don’t grab a stranger’s hand—”
Isabelle pulled him to a stop to turn and stare at her mother. “He not stranger. He your friend.” Then she pulled him back toward the lake.
Jordan wasn’t sure how to react, but at that moment, he clutched the girl’s hand right back, turned around, and gave Caitlin a triumphant glare. Once they rounded the corner and the playground became visible, Isabelle steered him in that direction, letting go of his hand as her feet reached the wood chips.
“Look at me!” The little girl smiled back at him as she climbed up the ladder toward the slide.
“Be careful, Isabelle!” Caitlin reached his side, shaking her trembling hands. “I’m sorry…she’s usually not that accepting of…of people she doesn’t know.”
Jordan choked down the words wanting to fly out of his mouth. “Where’s her daddy?” he finally said between his teeth, wanting to vomit the moment he did. “You remarried? So quickly? Really, Caitlin!”
Her mouth dropped open as she glanced back, his eyes following hers to see Mr. T leaning against the building, watching them.
“Him?”
Caitlin shook her head, lowering her eyes, before gluing them to her daughter as she climbed around the little playground. “No. There’s no one…no other man.”
“He left you?” He crossed his arms. “I guess that’s karma…but what kind of man would leave a woman with his child and never look back?”
Her eyes snapped back to him, reminding him of the last years they were together, eyes that held accusation and blame, but this time there was something new…fear.
“If he hurt you…” Jordan’s fists clenched as he felt his muscles flex with the anger that coursed through him.
She shook her head, biting her lip and turning back to her daughter. “It’s been a long trip…I need to find a place…to rest.”
“You’re running. I know that look. Who’s coming after you, Caitlin?”
Jordan stepped in front of her, making her meet his eyes.
“This isn’t about me…it’s,” she glanced back at the man. “Please, Jordan, I need to rest.”
He peered at her, noting again the dark circles, the lean face, and the dull eyes. She did need rest. “You know the Inn will be booked solid until October.”
The panic in her eyes had Jordan stop the smug expression he felt coming over his face. “You…and your daughter…can come home.”
“Home?” Caitlin asked, her chest rising and plummeting.
“Yeah, I built it, Caitlin. Just like you wanted it. It’s beautiful.” Jordan smiled, thinking that this moment went nothing like he had been daydreaming it would, but unable to not take pride in his accomplishment.
“You…you did?” Her eyes misted again. “Jordan…I can’t…we can’t…” She glanced back at the man again.
“So, you and Mr. T. I thought there was no other man?”
Caitlin’s cheeks blushed, bringing back a touch of youthfulness to her. “No, he’s my…our…protection.”
“Huh,” Jordan crossed his arms. “Well, if you come home, you won’t need a bodyguard.”
“My father…”
Everything fell into place as he thought about her father moving to the city to take the high-ranking defense attorney job. “So he really took a job with the mob…” Jordan dropped his arms as his stomach roiled.
“I don’t know…and I can’t talk about it.”
“I stuck to the plans. There’s room for your bodyguard, too, if that’s what you want.”
Caitlin shook her head. “I don’t understand…just like that, you’re asking me back home…what about…what about that woman…and that was Krista, wasn’t it? The girl looked exactly like Tabby.”
“We have a lot to talk about,” Jordan said, motioning to the picnic table.
“Mommy, look at me!” Isabelle called out as she crawled into a hollow wooden log.
“I see you going in the log, sweetie.” Caitlin pushed a smile into her voice.
“She looks exactly like you,” Jordan said as he lowered himself onto the table.
“Really? You think she does?” Caitlin narrowed her eyes as she scrutinized her daughter. “I always thought she looked like—” She started coughing.
Jordan patted her back. “You okay?”
“Yeah, just…just breathed at the wrong time.”
“You were saying?” Jordan squinted at her, wanting her to finish who she had thought her daughter looked like.
“Nothing. It doesn’t matter. Tell me about Krista. You took her on after I left? After everything…”
Jordan reeled back. “What? No! Is that what you think of me?” He shook his head, remaining silent for several seconds. “But she has a good home now. Tyler’s back.”
“He’s back? I thought he had several more years?”
“He was injured.”
Caitlin gasped.
“Not disabled, though he is stiff and riding isn’t as easy as it used to be, but he’s alright.”
“So, he’s doing it alone? Is Krista happy?”
“She’s in heaven.” Jordan relaxed again, leaning back against the table. “That woman ,” he eyed Caitlin, unable to not be pleased that she had shown some jealousy. “That’s Tyler’s wife, Megan.”
“He brought her back with him?”
“No.” Jordan chuckled. “It’s a long story, but she’s best friends with Derrick’s wife.”
“Derrick’s married? And he’s the sheriff?” She plopped back against the table, too. “So much has happened.”
“Well, for some, life continued after you left.” He turned toward her but looked away as she flicked her gaze to him. Clearing his throat, he leaned forward. “So, no, there is no woman in my life, no surprise kid either, just a huge empty house and no one to fill it.”
“Jordan…I did what I thought was best for us…we weren’t…we had different life goals.”
Jordan hung his head. “I know I didn’t make it easy on you, Caitlin…and now,” he glanced at the little girl running around after a falling leaf, “I see what I missed out on.”
“There’s more, Jordan.” Caitlin sat up, turning toward him with searching eyes. “There’s more I have to tell you. I…it’s not that simple.”
“But it is.” He stood up as the girl ran back toward them. “You’re back in town, and you need a place to stay.”
“Friend!” Isabelle shouted before throwing herself into his arms.
Jordan instinctively caught her, hefting her into the air and settling her on his hip. “And I have a place big enough for all of us.”
“We going to your house, friend?”
“Jordan. My name’s Jordan.” He smiled at the little girl, who looked so much like the love of his life, but as he looked at her closer, he saw the deep brown of her eyes, a stark contrast to Caitlin’s hazel.