9. SIX
SIX
C aitlin dropped the phone to her lap as she swung on the porch swing, letting her gaze stray to where Jordan and Isabelle played with boats in the fountain in front of the house. She saw them, but the questions in her mind kept her from really focusing on them.
Her dad gave her very mixed messages. She was supposed to stay hidden and not share the news, but he wanted her to tell Derrick to keep a lookout for strangers. None of it made sense, and the closer the court date came, the more stressed her dad’s voice sounded, and the more her mom sounded defeated.
Miller approached from the other side of the deck, holding out his hand for the phone. She placed it in his hand, still lost in thought. When he didn’t move away, she blinked to refocus and looked at the giant of a man.
“Any new intel?” Miller asked, pocketing the burner phone.
She shook her head. “None that he’s sharing, at least. He seems wound tight and is contradicting himself.”
“Court date is coming in the next few weeks.”
She nodded, glancing at her daughter and Jordan again. Each time Isabelle squealed, “Daddy”, her heart grew and broke at the same time.
“It’s good you told him…that part, at least.”
She glared at Miller.
“I know. It’s not my place…but a man has a right to know about his kids.”
“Even if they want nothing to do with them?”
Miller cleared his throat. “You’ve got as good eyes as I do.” He nodded toward them. “I don’t know what happened in the past, but at this moment, he looks as willing as any man could be.”
Caitlin sighed, knowing that to be the truth. Yet those past, hate-filled words still echoed in her mind. Noting that Miller still stood there, she looked up at him again. “Daddy wants me to notify the local sheriff.”
Miller nodded. “Wondered about that.”
“He’s a friend…a good friend.”
“Another good friend?” Miller raised an eyebrow.
Caitlin’s lip curled in disgust. “He’s Jordan’s best friend…nothing like that. Geez. Who do you think I am?”
Miller’s normally straight face twisted into a smile. “Have the sheriff come out here. No need to go into town if it's unnecessary.”
“I…I will,” Caitlin said, watching him closer. “It’s good to see you can actually smile.”
The grin vanished, leaving him as straight faced as ever. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He turned and walked back the way he had come, but she swore she heard a snorting chuckle as he did.
“I hungry. We eat lunch now?” Isabelle dragged her boat from the water and ran up to Caitlin. “Mommy, we eat now?” she said with a yawn.
Caitlin smiled at the dripping wet girl, taking her ice-cold hand. “Sure, sweetie, but first let’s get you in some warm and dry clothes.”
“Daddy play boats with me.” She clapped her hands, sending a spray of water everywhere.
“It’s warm today,” Jordan said with a shrug as he joined them.
“Not warm enough. Her hands feel like ice.” Caitlin took her daughter’s hand in hers again.
“She’s tough. Her genes are full of it.” Jordan smiled at her, letting it reach his eyes for a moment before he turned away. “I’ll get lunch. Grilled cheese sandwiches?”
“Yay!” Isabelle cheered, pulling Caitlin to the door. “Come, Mommy. We get changed. It cold now.”
Caitlin let her daughter drag her inside and listened as she told her all about playing with Daddy in the fountain.
“This home now, right, Mommy? I miss Miss Ginny, but I love it here. Can she come visit? Can Gammy and Gampa come visit too?”
“Not right now, sweetie. There is a lot up in the air, but we will see them soon.”
“I miss Gammy.”
“I do, too, sweetie.” She drew her newly clad daughter into her arms. “I’m so lucky to have you.”
“I lucky have you and Daddy, too.”
Caitlin swallowed as she stood up with her. “Let’s go have some lunch, then we’ll have books and a nap, okay?”
“Okay, Mommy,” she said, wrapping her arms around her neck.
Lunch was like every other meal since she had told Jordan. Isabelle led the conversation while Jordan did everything he could to avoid eye contact with Caitlin. It had been an awkward week, but seeing Isabelle so happy soothed the pain.
At a lull in conversation as Isabelle took another bite, Caitlin swallowed and tried to meet Jordan’s eyes, to no avail. “Could we invite Derrick over?”
That did it. Jordan swung his head to meet her eyes. “I thought you didn’t want to see anyone?”
“I’m supposed to be hiding…but Daddy…” She wanted to tear her eyes away, but she had longed for them to meet for so long that she held his intense gaze. “He says we need to make Derrick aware of the situation.” She eyed Isabelle.
He glanced at her, too, but met Caitlin’s gaze again. “Things getting worse?”
Caitlin didn’t expect the tears that burned her eyes, and she tried to shrug the emotion away but couldn’t speak, knowing that the strain in her voice would cause Isabelle to worry.
Jordan reached out and took her hand, the touch like lightning shooting through her, weakening the dam she had built to keep the emotions at bay. “You’ll be safe here, and your dad’s a crafty man. I doubt any harm will come to them.”
She nodded, averting her eyes now, wishing she was stronger.
“Crafty?” Isabelle piped up.
“Yeah, it means your grandpa is smart and can think of things that make others stay on their toes.” Jordan smiled at her, rubbing the top of her head.
“Like this?” Isabelle slid off her chair and stood on her tippy toes.
“Look at you, a true ballerina!” Jordan pushed back from the table. “We should think of signing her up for classes with Molly once this all settles.”
Caitlin’s mind spun…talking with Jordan about dance classes and future things had her gulping in breaths. She never had someone to discuss these things with, but also, she never had to think of anyone else’s opinions when deciding for her daughter.
“We can talk about it,” she finally said, cleaning up the plates. “You all done, sweetie?” She glanced down at the crust pieces on her daughter’s plate and a few apple slices she hadn’t chewed on.
“Yep, book time?” she asked, rubbing her ear.
“Yes, sweetie, book time.”
“Can Daddy read to me?”
Caitlin froze, an icy chill sweeping through her. Isabelle had wanted no one to read her stories or put her down for a nap or to bed besides her mommy. A quivering, fearful sensation went down her spine.
“Of course,” Jordan said, smiling triumphantly, but when he met Caitlin’s eyes, his smile faltered. “Unless your mama already had a book picked out…”
Caitlin blinked, holding a hand over her stomach, feeling queasy and lightheaded. She sat in the nearest seat, shaking her head. “It’s okay. She wants you.”
“Are you feeling okay?” Jordan reached her side, taking the plates from her hand.
“Mommy sick?” Isabelle ran up and touched her forehead.
“No, I’m…just tired. I’ll clean up here and come check on you afterward.” Caitlin pushed a smile to her lips before kissing her daughter. “Thank you for being caring.”
“Welcome, Mommy. Maybe you nap, too?”
“Maybe,” she said, watching as Isabelle took Jordan’s hand.
“Come Daddy. Let go read.” She dragged him from the room.
“Are you sure?” Jordan mouthed as he left.
Caitlin waved him away and pushed up to stand. Staying busy would be her only saving grace, as it always had been. Besides, she had a few things to check on for work.
After cleaning up lunch dishes, she pulled her laptop out, tweaked a few designs, and uploaded them into her store. She checked sales data and answered emails, then opened her program to design another shirt she thought of while Isabelle and Jordan were playing boats.
“That’s a cute shirt,” Jordan said, startling her as he came up behind the recliner where she worked.
“Thanks,” she said, saving her progress and closing the laptop. “She out?”
“Like a light, didn’t even get to see if the engine made it over the mountain.” Jordan laughed, easing down on the sofa. “You didn’t have to stop…whatever you were doing.”
“It’s my work,” she said, tightening her grip on the laptop.
“Oh?” Jordan raised his brow.
“I know you think I live off my daddy, but I don’t.”
“So you sell shirts? Online?”
“I design them and sell them, among other things, yes.” She leaned over to put her laptop back in its case, avoiding his inquisitive eyes.
“And you pay your bills that way?”
“Yes,” she said, thrusting her chin out.
“Impressive,” he said, leaning back on the couch. “Sounds a lot easier than sledging hammers and dealing with flaky contractors.”
“It’s something I can do while Isabelle sleeps or watches a show.” She watched him, wondering if he really meant what he said. “It’s not like it would be enough to afford this.” She swept her hand across the massive living room.
“This came from four years of working every hour the sun was up. If I had a family then…” He dropped his head into his hands for a moment, then straightened. “I wouldn’t have done it. I would rather have lived in a shack and been home with my family than be gone all the time.”
“Like your dad?” she asked gently.
“Yeah,” he said.
“How’s he doing?”
“He had a heart attack.”
“Oh no.” Caitlin covered her mouth, horrified that in the week she had been there, she hadn’t thought to ask about his family. “Is he…I mean, is he okay?”
“He’s on the mend, but he’s retired now. Forced. My mom finally put her foot down.”
“Good,” Caitlin said, nodding. “I mean, not that he is unwell, but that your mom is making him rest.”
Jordan watched her, his eyes gone serious…an unusual look on him. “They are going to flip.”
Caitlin’s mouth parted as she realized what he meant. “They’ll hate me.”
“What makes you think they don’t already?” Jordan’s lips quirked into a half-jesting smile.
“I’m sure they do. I would if I was them.”
Jordan laughed, but it held little humor. “Well, don’t stress. They blame me.”
“Maybe, but once your mom finds out that she has a granddaughter, and she missed out on the baby years…” Caitlin bit her lip. “We better tell them.”
“But tell them what?” Jordan leaned forward, all humor gone. “That you’re visiting? That you’re only here because you’re running from the mob? That you’ll leave us again and take Isabelle with you as soon as this all settles?”
His words shocked her into silence, and she stammered before she finally got out. “There’s a lot to figure out…but if you continue to want to be in her life, I won't take that from you…or from them.”
“I wanted a chance from the beginning…to be there from the beginning.” He pushed up, shaking his head and running a hand through his hair. “You still want me to ask Derrick over?”
The quick shift in conversation had her reeling, but she nodded. “Yes. The more eyes, the better, I guess.”
Jordan turned to walk out of the room.
“And Jordan? Invite your parents over after church tomorrow. I’m done with hiding things from those I love.”
He didn’t turn, but his footsteps paused, and it seemed like forever until he finally gave a brief nod and exited the room. She blew out a breath, knowing she had hit the point of no return. Guilt overran her as she thought of so many lives she hadn’t thought of when deciding to run.
It wasn’t like she hadn’t thought of calling her in-laws a dozen times a week, if not more, but the longer she held out, the longer she kept the secret, the more fearful reaching out had become. Now she had to meet that fear face-to-face, and it left her shivering, with a cold that reached her bones.
How could anyone forgive her?
Jordan paced the room while Caitlin told Derrick everything she knew about the situation with her dad and why she felt they were in trouble. Somehow, listening to Derrick’s interrogation made it all seem so much more real.
If Caitlin had never left him, would she and Isabelle still be in danger? Anger flitted inside him. Initially, he directed it at Caitlin…at her not even giving him a chance; but if he was honest with himself, something he didn’t want to admit, he blamed himself. He had been the one to push her away.
He clenched his fists, focusing on anything but that hidden place within that he didn’t want to see.
She could have fought against it. She could have at least given him a chance. Instead, three years later he found out he had a daughter…the cutest little girl in the world…and that her life was in danger.
“And we have no clue who these men are?” Derrick glanced from Caitlin to Miller, who stood beside the couch where she sat, glum faced and as still as a statue.
“I cannot share intel of that nature,” Miller said, but he lowered his crossed arms. “I can tell you they mostly drive black SUVs with tinted windows and, well, let’s just say they’d stick out like a sore thumb in this neck of the woods.”
“Got it,” Derrick said, penciling something in his notebook. “Be on the lookout for people looking like mobsters…”
“Ha,” Jordan said with a laugh. “See, I’m not the only one.”
Caitlin rolled her eyes. “Do you need anything else, Derrick?”
“Yeah, why here?” He put his notebook in his pocket. “Why come here of all places after disappearing without a trace for four years?”
Miller shifted his weight. “That’s my cue.” With a glance and nod from Caitlin, he left the house, leaving tension filling the room so thick that Jordan fought to flee himself.
“Hey, bro,” he said, quietly touching Derrick’s shoulder.
“No,” Caitlin shook her head. “He has a right to ask.”
“You bet I do. We were friends, too, you know. You not only broke my best friend’s heart, but you broke ours, too.” Derrick sat forward, locking an intense gaze on Caitlin.
Jordan returned to pacing.
“My dad didn’t give me the choice. He made me come here, saying this is where I’d be the safest. I think…I think that he also knew it was time to stop running…to face my fears.”
“Fears?” Derrick asked, but his attention snapped toward the hallway. Jordan followed his gaze to where Isabelle stood, rubbing her eyes.
“Mommy?”
Caitlin started, wiped her own eyes and stood up, but Jordan motioned her back down. “I got it.”
“Hey, sugar cakes, we’re right here.” He closed the distance between them, lifting her easily into his arms. “We have a friend visiting.”
“Friend?” She rubbed her eyes again, trying to focus on Derrick, whose eyes had widened.
“This is Derrick. He grew up with me and your mama.” Jordan stood before Derrick.
“Hi,” Derrick said, standing to greet her, his gaze flicking from her to Jordan and back again.
“You knew my mommy and daddy when they kids like me?”
“Yeah, I did…wait…daddy?” Derrick’s eyes widened even further.
“Yeah, Jordie my daddy.” She hugged his neck, something Jordan didn’t think he’d ever get enough of.
“I think I need to sit back down…” Derrick flopped back into the seat, lowering his head to his hands. “Did you…did you know, man?”
Jordan sat next to Caitlin, letting Isabelle crawl from his lap to hers and nestle in, closing her eyes once more.
“You see now?” Caitlin asked, her voice tight with the strain of hiding her emotions.
Isabelle’s eyes flickered open again, but with a smile from her mama, she closed them and snuggled back in.
“You…were pregnant when you left?” Derrick rubbed a hand across his head, standing back up to pace. “This is a lot to take in.”
“I know,” Jordan mumbled.
“I did what I thought was best…for everyone.” Caitlin stood, holding Isabelle tight to her and fighting back tears. Jordan stood and reached for Isabelle, but Caitlin shook her head before turning back to Derrick. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I could have handled it differently. It sucks when we let fear run our lives.”
She clung to Isabelle and fled the room, leaving complete silence in her wake.
It took a few moments, but Jordan finally met Derrick’s eyes. “Quite a trip, huh?”
“Yeah…when’d you find out?”
“Week ago…” Jordan shrugged, pulling his eyes away. “I…I had to process, man. I didn’t know what to say or think…I still don’t.”
“That’s why you have friends,” Derrick muttered.
“Oh, to tell me what to think?” Jordan pushed a half-grin to his lips.
“Ha, no, to listen. It’s in the talking that you find out the truth of how you really feel. Chas taught me that.”
“Smart woman of yours,” Jordan said. “I’m not a talker.”
“Not about important stuff, anyway. You and Tyler should hang out…just sit there and grunt while drinking your coffee.”
Jordan plopped to the couch. “Not a bad idea. At least he wouldn’t pepper me with questions.” He glared at his best friend.
“Suit yourself,” Derrick said, strolling over to the hat rack and placing his sheriff’s hat back on. “You know how to get ahold of me if you come to your senses.”
“Maybe I should call your wife. It’s her fault anyway,” Jordan joked, pushing off the couch and seeing him to the door.
“How is any of this Chasity’s fault? She never even met Caitlin.” Derrick’s brows scrunched together.
“No, but on the night of Tyler’s wedding, she told me I should contact Caitlin.”
“And you did? Is that why she’s really here?”
“Nah, but I started thinking about it, and hoping. I even dialed her number a few times…but, it’s that hope your wife planted in me that made me react the way I did when I saw Caitlin.”
Derrick cocked his head as they stepped outside, and Jordan closed the door behind them. “And that hope now?”
“I guess it’s still there…but man…” Jordan ran a hand down his face. “How do you forgive someone who hides your kid from you for almost four years?”
Derrick shook his head. “I don’t know, brother, but I think the more you know and understand where she was coming from, the better…if that’s what you want. If you want to forgive her.”
“And this whole time I was thinking I was the one in need of her forgiveness…” At Derrick’s silence, Jordan met his eyes, which held a knowing smirk.
“There’s one thing I have found in most domestic disputes I’ve had to break up,” Derrick said, backing down the steps. “There is no innocent party. Even if one person is ninety percent to blame, the other still holds that ten percent.”
Jordan opened his mouth for a smart comeback, but he had nothing. He closed his lips in a grim line, watching Derrick wave farewell and pull down the drive.
“And he’s going to be the easy one.” Jordan sighed as he pulled out his phone and sat on the porch swing. The other line rang four times before someone finally answered. “Hey, Dad. What’re you guys doing after church?”
Jordan paced the living room, glancing at the clock every minute or so, trying to figure out how to break the news to his parents that they were grandparents…of a three-year-old. His eyes drew down to where Isabelle quietly colored. Caitlin had washed her sweet little face, removing any telling leftovers from lunch.
“So, you didn’t tell them?” Caitlin clutched the rag to her and bit her lip.
“Over the phone?” Jordan shook his head. “Not the way to do it.”
Caitlin nodded, fleeing into the kitchen and racing back when tires sounded on the driveway. She came up beside him, tucking her hair behind her ears and adjusting her shirt. “Do I look okay?”
Jordan opened his mouth to respond, but his eyes met hers and he truly saw her for the first time in a week. He had spent so much time trying to avoid her and the feelings she stirred within him that the reality of the fact his wife stood before him in the flesh made his heart lurch.
“You look the same as you did four years ago.”
Car doors slammed, and Caitlin blinked back the emotions he could read on her face.
“How do you want to do this?” he asked.
“You’re asking me?” She glanced back at Isabelle, then at him. “I’ll do it. It’s my responsibility.”
“It’s our responsibility,” he breathed the words as the weight of them hit him.
Two tears spilled from her beautiful eyes, and he wiped them with his thumb. “We’ll do it together.”
Caitlin nodded, and he took her hand with a squeeze.
“Knock, knock,” Jordan’s mom sang out as she opened the door.
“Where you at, son?” His dad called.
Jordan glanced back at Isabelle, who had looked up at the sound of unfamiliar voices but then went right back to coloring. “Well, let’s do this,” he said, his eyes on Caitlin once more, but she wasn’t looking at him. In fact, she let go of his hand with a strangled sob and ran for his mother’s arms.
“What?” His mother exclaimed, pushing Caitlin gently back to look at her face, then teary-eyed pulled her back into her arms. “Oh, dear.”
“Caitlin?” his dad said, a hand to his chest, and Caitlin unhinged herself from his mom enough to wrap an arm around him, too.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Caitlin now sobbed uncontrollably, leaving Jordan stunned and standing dumbfounded in the doorway.
His dad’s moist eyes met his over Caitlin’s head, and he gave him a curt nod. “We heard the rumors…but you said nothing so…”
“There’s been a lot to figure out,” Jordan said, shifting his weight and rolling his shoulders, wishing the emotional scene would end.
“I’d say so,” his mom said, pulling back to cup Caitlin’s face. “We’ve missed you so,” she said. “And I have a million questions and a million more things I need to reprimand you about.”
“I know,” Caitlin sniffled. “I…,” she glanced at Jordan, then back to his parents. “I have something I need to tell you both, too.”
“Mommy?” Isabelle’s voice for once sounded hesitant, as she stood in the doorway, a finger in her mouth.
His mom gasped, and his dad cleared his throat.
Caitlin stiffened, but she wiped her face and squatted. “Come here, sweetie.” Isabelle ran into her arms, and she stood with her, facing his parents once more. “Sweetie, I’d like you to meet…”
Jordan stepped up beside them, holding his dad’s gaze. “Your grandparents.”
“What in the world?” his dad said, taking a step back.
“Oh my,” his mom said, fanning herself, lips quivering.
“Hello, grandparents.” Isabelle looked at them. “I Isabelle. You daddy’s mommy and daddy? You live here or far away? My Gammy and Gampa live far away from here, but we can’t see them right now. You want to come see my picture?”
She wiggled out of Caitlin’s arms, quickly taking each one’s hand and pulling them toward the living room. His parents followed numbly, looking from him to each other, to Caitlin and finally settling on the slight girl pulling them along.
“It a unicorn but I like horsies even better. Do you have horsies?”
She had stopped, leveling a stare at his mom.
“Uh, no, honey, we don’t have horses.”
“Oh, well, Daddy said he would take me to see some. Maybe I can even ride one. I want to ride a horsie.”
Jordan kept back, leaning against the wall, and pulled Caitlin beside him as she passed. “Let her work her magic,” he whispered, marveling at his daughter.
“Her magic?” Caitlin whispered back.
He nodded. “She’ll have them wrapped around her finger in a minute and then they’ll be jelly in our hands.”