Chapter 14
Gunner
Gunner expected to wake up in his dorm, wrapped in threadbare sheets that smelled like old socks. Instead, fresh linens brushed his skin, leaving behind the scent of expensive cologne as he lazily adjusted his drowsy limbs.
Where the hell am I?
He heard movement behind him. A slow, easy stretch. A masculine sigh. He quickly turned his head and saw a ripped hunk propped up on one elbow, shirtless, hair tousled, watching him with impossibly vivid blue eyes. Horatio Slice?
Oh, yeah. That happened.
A flood of memories swept through his brain. Portals. Strange lands. The ship. The crew. The makeover, and the fucking—
The fucking?
A pleasant ache in his ass told him everything he needed to know. He’d lost his virginity in a big way—a huge way, even.
And it was good.
“Morning, Cupcake.” Horatio’s voice was sleep-rough and sensual.
Gunner said, “Hey,” in a normal tone, as if waking up next to a hot rockstar was normal for him. “What day is it?”
“Sunday. Can you believe it? We slept through Saturday, which I guess isn’t all that surprising. Friday was wild as hell.”
“A lot happened.”
Horatio moved closer, eye contact unwavering. “Did anything happen that you didn’t expect?” He swept a tendril of hair out of Gunner’s eyes. “Or weren’t ready for?”
“I didn’t expect to come that hard,” was what he wanted to say. Instead, he tripped over his words, trembling inside from the memory of getting fucked so well.
“Um, no. That was… incredible. Well, you were. Not sure about me.”
“You were perfect.” He smiled.
“Perfectly slutty.” Face burning, he had to look away. He’d begged Horatio to fuck him, exactly like the horny fanboy he was determined not to be. “I’m sorry.”
Horatio tipped Gunner’s face back toward his. “Sorry because you asked me for what you wanted in an honest and incredibly sexy way? Yeah, I can see how you’d think I’d be offended.” He tickled Gunner’s stomach until he giggled. “I hate when hot dudes want to fuck me.”
He still couldn’t believe he was staring Horatio Slice—THE rock star of rock stars—in the face. “But did you ever get sick of every fan begging to sleep with you?”
“Trust me, nobody ever needed to beg. I’m the slut, not you.”
Horatio’s lingering kiss made him vibrate from the inside out. Gunner longed to wrap his legs around his waist and let that hard dick stretch him open again. Just when things were really heating up, Horatio pulled away.
Is he blushing, too, or is it hot in here?
“I’m starving,” Horatio’s voice cracked. “How about you? Stiles should be up by now.”
Unsure if he could eat, Gunner followed Horatio down the hallway and into the elevator. When the doors slid open to the third floor, the scent of freshly brewed coffee made him salivate. Stiles waved at them from behind the counter.
“Good morning, boys!” Stiles beamed as he served up two mugs. “I was wondering if anyone would make an appearance today.”
“Snake’s not up?” Horatio asked.
“No one’s up. I can’t remember the last time we slept through an entire day.” Stiles started another pot of coffee. “Keeping a successful pirate empire running smoothly doesn’t allow for much downtime.”
“What’s a typical day like?” Gunner asked.
“It varies from the mundane to the insane,” Horatio said. “Potential clients call with jobs, then there’s the occasional pirate squabble—”
“We fight other pirates?”
“Pirates are fiercely territorial and petty. Knocking Snake off his throne is the goal of every crew, but so far, no one’s even come close,” Horatio said.
“And what about Meridian?” Gunner gulped.
“He doesn’t have as much time to fuck around with us as he’d like,” Stiles said. “But somehow he manages.”
“But after Snake spanked his ass back in Middleton, he might lay low for a while, just to get over the embarrassment.” Horatio grinned.
“I wouldn’t count on that.” Snake appeared, almost out of thin air.
“Dude! You’re going to give someone a heart attack!” Horatio rubbed his chest.
“Vampires are born stealthy.” Hair mussed, clad in a silk robe, Snake took the seat at Horatio’s right. “Whose idea was it to sleep that long? I’m as stiff as old boots.”
“What did you mean about Meridian, Snake?” Gunner asked.
“Your rescue attempt whipped him into a frenzy. Seven’s in the cockpit now, trying to sort out another security breach. The cowardly sod. A real king would ride in guns blazing instead of hacking our mainframe like a petulant child.”
“What’s he looking for?” Gunner asked.
“A way to sneak a portal in here so he can snatch Horatio right from under our noses. Without Seven’s advanced technological skills, our favorite guitar slayer would be rotting away in Clairidia prison. Or tied to Meridian’s bed.”
“Dude,” Horatio groaned. “Not the bed thing.”
“And no one knows why he wants Horatio?” Gunner frowned. “If we knew the reason, we could stop him, right?”
“No one knows, and Meridian’s not telling.
We’ve been searching for leverage—something scandalous or illegal—but whoever’s guarding his secrets is a ghost-level genius.
” Snake shot Gunner a weak smile. “But once you and Seven combine those magnificent brains, we’ll catch a break.
” He rubbed his side. “Stiles, I need a rather large whiskey.”
“Any more bullets fall out of you?” Horatio tried to peek inside Snake’s robe.
“Bullets?” Stiles dropped his oven mitt.
Snake smacked Horatio’s hand away. “Don’t listen to him, Stiles. He’s daft. My insides are sore from Gunner’s wonky portal. Damn thing turned me inside out.”
“I don’t get it,” Gunner said. “Those car batteries weren’t even at full capacity.”
“Hey, Snake, when you were inside that portal, did you notice anything weird about the color?” Horatio asked.
“That odd shade of green? I wondered about that, too. And the crackling sound.” Snake slapped the counter. “Are you sure you didn’t use some sort of magical artifact?”
“I wouldn’t know where to get one.” Gunner squared his shoulders. "Making the machine was almost too easy, almost… like I was watching myself put it together, which I’m sure sounds completely insane.”
“Cupcake, nothing sounds weird to me anymore. Crazy shit happens daily around here, so maybe you tapped into some cosmic force.”
The thump of high-heeled boots rang out before Sugar appeared. A sexy flashback stole Gunner’s breath: bent over in the shower while Sugar tongue-fucked his ass.
Everyone watched. Even Stiles. And now he’s making me breakfast.
“Stiles, I love you for always having coffee ready.” Sugar kissed Gunner on the cheek and sat on Snake’s opposite side and placed his cell on the counter. “Your phone woke me up. Twenty texts in the past half hour. Someone is eager for our services.”
Snake flipped the phone over. “Whoever it is can wait. It’s too bloody early.”
Stiles poured coffee and whiskey into a mug that said “World’s Greatest Captain” and handed it to Snake. “As for the rest of you, a proper breakfast will turn things around.” Stiles served plates of crepes and fresh fruit, the smell of which woke up Gunner’s stomach.
“These are amazing,” he mumbled around a mouthful. “I can’t cook at all. I even burn ramen noodles.”
“Cooking is my passion. In fact, I used to own a restaurant.” Stiles topped off Horatio’s coffee. “But being a pirate is much more fun.”
“Stiles’ place was packed every night. You had to call a month in advance to get a reservation,” Sugar said. “He can make a Yeti taste like a gourmet treat.”
“This is the third time someone’s mentioned Yeti since I got here. Are you telling me they exist?” Gunner asked.
“Yeti, or Sasquatch, as they’re known in my homeland, are quite common. They can be found almost everywhere, even Earth, as long as they have access to densely wooded areas,” Snake said. “Stupid, smelly creatures. Huge dicks.”
Horatio’s coffee mug froze halfway to his mouth. “How in the hell would you know about their dicks?”
“Came across two males fucking. The smaller one had the bigger one bent over a log and was buggering the hell out of him. Grotty creatures. They’re hairy all over, except for their ass crack and junk.
This thing’s cock was real long.” Snake held his hands apart about twelve inches, “and the end was bulbous and red, like a baboon’s ass. ”
Sugar pushed his plate away. “Thanks for the visual.”
“Hey, I got kind of hot watching them. I mean, they were having a real good time. The one on top grunted like, ‘Yuh, yuh, yuh!’ The one gettin’ fucked was all, ‘Eep, eep, eep!’ After the top came, he licked the bottom’s ass clean.
Then they switched, and the smaller bloke got fucked.
Who knew wild animals had such hot sex?”
Snake’s phone vibrated. Sugar pushed it closer. “Answer that or I’ll stuff it up your—"
He eyeballed the screen and grinned. “Well, well, someone is indeed interested in our services, Sugar. Excuse me.”
Gunner laughed as Snake slithered to the living room and flopped into a chair. Already, the color had returned to his face. “That woke him right up.”
“Criminal activity always does,” Sugar said.
“Criminal in what way?”
“We steal. We threaten. We intimidate.” Sugar leaned back and crossed his legs. “But we do it with flair and charisma.”
“We draw the line at murder, though,” Horatio said.
“Unless some fucker has it coming,” Stiles said.
Sugar cackled. “And some fucker always has it coming.”
Gunner’s leg trembled against Horatio’s. “Don’t listen to them, Cupcake. Murder doesn’t happen all that often.”
Sugar blew Gunner a kiss. “For the record, I’d kill anyone who dares to even look at you cross-eyed.”
Snake, now bright-eyed and alert, returned to his seat and tipped back the rest of his coffee and whiskey. “Just had a chat with a valuable client. She’s willing to pay us an exorbitant sum to fetch a priceless item for her, posthaste.”
“Her?” Sugar grinned. “You don’t mean—”
Snake grinned back. “I do mean.”
“What?” Horatio withered under Snake and Sugar’s stare. “Oh, come on! Not her again.”
“Yes. Your girlfriend, Princess Petal.” Sugar laughed.