Chapter twenty
Katrina made her way through the darkness, the cold chasing her steps.
The wind howled, blowing through her hair, uncurling the curls Greta had painstakingly heated this morning.
Yet, she did not care when a mission was to be had.
She clutched the map she found in her father’s study with white-knuckled fists.
Even in the darkness, she navigated through the trees toward the hidden cabin in the woods.
She strode into the opening behind the vines, keeping to the path within the dense brush.
Nerves took hold of her stomach as she stepped into the clearing, but she forged ahead.
She was unsure if he’d be here or wish to see her after their last encounter, but she could not afford to waste more time.
She knocked on the door, slightly warped by the elements. “Willem?” she called out. “Willem? Are you here?”
No answer.
Katrina spotted Inferno grazing behind the cabin, and she knocked once more.
“Please, I know you don’t wish to speak with me, and I do not blame you if you’re angry—”
The door opened suddenly, and a gasp escaped her lips. The pumpkin did not sit on Willem’s neck. Instead, she peered up at the gaping hole between his shoulders. A gnawing ache ate through her core as she wondered if he’d send her away.
“I’m not angry,” his soft voice rumbled from his chest. “I could never be angry with you.”
A pleasant shiver danced under her skin at the unexpected tenderness and something unspoken laced in his words.
It was a stark reminder that he was not a headless ghost—he was a living, breathing man.
She glanced at something crinkled in his hand, and her eyes softened. It was an unfinished sketch of her.
Even when she had hurt him, he was still thinking of her.
Her pulse quickened unsteadily at the revelation that she hadn’t had time to embrace.
The feelings she had caged behind the fortress of denial suddenly washed through her in a relentless flood.
Some part of her still argued she couldn’t have formed feelings for someone without seeing their face, but he had proven affection transcended physical appearances.
He saw beyond her beauty, and she saw beyond his curse.
More importantly, she wanted to do everything she could to help him, not because of their deal, but because she wished to see him happy—to see him smile and bask in the light that he’d been denied.
“I wanted to apologize,” she said, breaking the silence. “I had wanted to spare your feelings about the truth of your past, but I realized how it must have sounded. However, I wanted to reassure you that I do not think any less of you for what happened.”
A hush passed between them before a sigh echoed from the depths of his chest. “You have no need to apologize. It is I who must ask your forgiveness. I had been overcome by emotion and believed you had thought less of me, but I see that was foolish thinking. Forgive me for acting hastily and leaving you alone. I’m ashamed of myself. ”
Katrina sensed he averted his gaze by tilting his shoulder.
Her chest constricted at the self-loathing in his voice—the darkness, confusion, and loneliness of the years weighing down on him.
She could not blame him for fearing her reaction, for she’d heard some deserters were executed by firing squad for fleeing the battlefield.
In lesser circumstances, soldiers would be flogged and not receive their pay.
And afterward, their communities might ostracize them for what they’d done.
Just as the witch condemned him.
“Do not be ashamed. You sensed your past would be painful, and I was not as mindful as I should have been. But please, believe me when I say I…” She swallowed her nerves and reached for his free hand.
He gasped when she threaded her fingers into his.
Bare flesh met her skin, reminding her of the fragile man beneath his ghostly appearance.
He’d always worn gloves, but she felt his long, smooth fingers intertwining with hers.
“I care for you, Willem,” she whispered, her heart fluttering like a wild bird’s wings beating against her ribs. “I care for you deeply and hope we may finally seek peace from our burdens tonight.”
A soft gasp sounded from his chest. He stood, slightly swaying as though stupefied by her words.
“And how would you propose we do that?” he asked hesitantly.
“By going to White Plains together.”
He stiffened, his hand rigid beneath her grasp, but she refused to release him.
“The witch said that to break your curse, you must confront the hard truths about yourself. You must go to White Plains—to the last place you fought,” she said. “You also promised to take me there, and although you cannot remember the way yet, I found a map in my father’s study.”
Reluctantly, she let go of his hand to extend the map to him. He unrolled it, and another silence hung between them.
“I did promise you,” he whispered finally. “But I confess I’m frightened. I fear I cannot bear any more shame.”
“There is no shame to be had,” she reassured him.
“It is not so easy,” he said. “All these years of loneliness… due to an act of cowardice. The witch did not spare me from anything that wouldn’t have befallen me in Sleepy Hollow. No one will accept me.”
“I will.”
He turned toward her, and she sensed the mixed emotions emanating from his still form.
Katrina took another step, closing the distance between them. “I will be by your side. I will hold your hand and call you mine.”
He inhaled a sharp breath. She froze, wide-eyed at the confession that slipped so naturally from her lips.
“Katrina…”
Her name echoing in his chest sent a pleasant swarm of butterflies vaulting up her throat. Heat warmed her neck and face, but she did not regret her words. She would stand by what she said and pray he felt the same.
However, the truth opened her heart to share more vulnerable truths she hadn’t confessed to anyone else. She exhaled a long sigh as the sting of the old wound pricked before she opened her mouth.
“I carry shame with me as well,” she said, trembling.
“I told you I wanted closure with my brother, but I’ve never shared why.
I was upset the day he left for war with my father.
I felt I was losing two of the most precious people in the world and couldn’t understand why he’d willingly leave me. Instead of saying goodbye… I…”
Her throat clamped down with tears.
“Katrina—”
Looking heavenward, she whispered, “I told him I wished he would never come back. I told him I hoped he died in battle and never returned. That it would be better if he gave up his life if he was going to leave me. I… condemned him. I was the one to foretell his fate, and it happened.”
Her rising sobs swallowed the words. The drawing and map fluttered to the ground, and his warm arms enveloped her before she could blink. He crushed her against him, and she clung back just as fiercely. The cries flowed from her aching heart.
“So, you see?” she asked between hiccups. Glancing up, the shimmer of his face appeared before her. A slight smile curved on her lips. “I also bear guilt. So, let us confront it once and for all.”
A strong hand cradled her cheek as softly as a whisper. As if he were afraid he might shatter her with his gentle touch. His thumb wiped the tears away, and in the hazy image of his face, she saw the mutual grief, shame, and compassion in his eyes.
The wind stirred, whisking the leaves around them in a coaxing dance. At last, he nodded.
“Very well. Let us go together.”
Autumn’s frigid air bit against Katrina’s nose as they rode.
The moonlight glowed like a shining opal in the night sky, lighting their way.
The wind howled around them, beating against her frozen cheeks, but Katrina had never felt safer than she did in Willem’s arms. By his estimation, it would take them around two hours to reach White Plains, depending on how many breaks Inferno would need.
However, Inferno rode strong and only required two breaks. Katrina imagined the curse affected him too, for he raced like a wild demon upon the roads.
As the minutes ticked down to more than an hour, her stomach clenched with a strange mix of fear and anticipation.
It had been fourteen years she imagined this moment—imagined all the things she’d say to her brother—but she dreaded it wouldn’t be enough.
She still wouldn’t find the peace she sought.
However, the arms around her reminded her that she wasn’t alone. No matter what happened, they would be there to support one another.
At long last, Inferno stopped, and a tremor ran through Willem as he helped her down.
“We’re here,” he said gravely.
Her heart burst into a drumming frenzy as she took in the battlefield.
Nearby, the river stirred, its waters lapping against muddy embankments.
Trees swayed in the breeze, and long, golden grass grew over the vague shapes of rifle pits and trenches.
Patches of shrubbery and trees dotted the hill.
Katrina stepped forward, and her slipper bumped into a rusty musket ball.
As much as nature attempted to reclaim the gruesome battle of smoke and blood, remnants of the violence remained.
Despair ached in her chest. She took in every detail, noting the patches of grass that hadn’t grown right, the broken pieces of bayonets glinting in the moonlight, and the unmarked graves. Her heart crashed to a halt.
Her legs moved of their own accord. Breath heaving, she raced to the graves with a cold, hard lump in her throat.
Her knees hit the frigid ground, and her hands felt the earth where her brother might be buried.
The blades of frosted grass tangled between her fingers.
Rows of wooden crosses were scattered around her.
Somewhere beneath her, her brother’s bones lay.
It was the closest she had been to him in fourteen years.
After all this time, she finally found him.
Tears sprang to her eyes.
“Oh, Johannes,” she cried, wrapping her arms around her midsection. “I’m here now. I’m here. I’m sorry it took so long. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” she muttered over and over. The swell of tears held a new, raw relief she hadn’t felt in over a decade. Yet, the pain still rocked her to her core.
Katrina’s tears dotted the ground. “I don’t hate you. I’m sorry for those awful words I said. I was scared… and angry that you were leaving me. But I’ve regretted it every day since. I pray you know that I love you with all my heart. And I hope,” she choked on the word, “you did not suffer.”
A sound thunked behind her. Katrina whipped around and gasped. Willem fell to his knees, his hands flying to his shimmering face.
“Willem!” she cried, dashing to his side, her tears forgotten in the new terror that gripped her.
Willem rocked back and forth, groaning in pain.
“What’s the matter? What’s happening?” she asked, her hands flying over his arm.
Anguished, long sobs echoed from his chest. “I remember,” he moaned, “I remember it all.”