3. Matheus
PAST
“Papá,”
I move further into his home office.
“I want to be involved. I’m ready to learn. Please.”
His eyes narrow, but his expression stays blank.
“Be involved with what exactly?” he asks.
“The family business.”
He frowns. “Are you wearing a wire under that shirt?”
“No!” I shake my head and hold up my hands. “Of course not.”
My father sighs out his annoyance.
“You’re worthless to me, Matheus. I have plenty of money to pay a good lawyer, which means I don’t really need you. If you want me to take you seriously, kill Tommy, and maybe then we’ll talk—if Dré and Gio keep you alive, that is. Tommy is next in line and you, you’re at the bottom of the list.”
My insides wither. Nothing is ever straightforward with Elias Souza. Everything is a test since he’s so damn paranoid.
I back up, ready to leave, accepting defeat.
You can’t reason with the devil.
“Not so fast. You think you could handle running an empire, muchacho?” His calculating gaze follows my retreat. “Here…take my gun.”
Papá rounds his desk and pulls a handgun from behind him. He holds the weapon out toward me and gestures to it.
“You heard what I said, didn’t you?” I nod. “Then do it. Kill Tomás. Then we’ll talk. Unless you really are a spineless cunt.”
He shoves the gun into my sweaty hand, turns and opens a gilded box on his desk, plucking out one of his favorite Cuban cigars, unfazed by his cruel request.
I stare at the gun, hearing the flint on his lighter strike. He slowly toasts the foot end of it. The smoke swirls around me, clinging to my skin and covering my long dark pants and short-sleeved school shirt in that fucking smell I hate so much––him.
I could point it at him instead. Pull the trigger and finish the fucker. This isn’t the first time I’ve thought about doing it.
The only problem with that is, I’d be hunted down, slaughtered in the streets and branded a traitor.
“Your brother does what I tell him to do. Whereas you don’t have the fucking balls…you’re weak, Matheus,” he goads.
My heart starts pumping and my knuckles turn white from gripping the gun.
“You’re just a little pussy who doesn’t fit into this family. Run back home to your mama and let the real men rule the world.”
“Fuck you!” I hiss, rolling back my shoulders and lifting my chin high, making myself even taller than my father.
Papá smirks. “Big words from a teenager. It would break your mama’s heart if you didn’t make it home.”
I’ve never felt this overwhelming surge of black rage before. Sure, I’ve been in a bad mood, kicked a few things, shot up paper targets, and pulled the pins on a few grenades out in the forest.
But this man knows exactly how to slither under my skin and black out my moral code.
“I hate you,” I tell him, inching backwards.
All he does is laugh. The cruel rumble makes my collar feel tighter. I run a shaky hand through my hair and spin on my heels, my laced shoes clipping the tiles as I march along the hallway, needing air.
The second I burst out into the afternoon sun, my big brother Tomás appears, having exited a blacked-out SUV sitting in the driveway.
My mind starts ticking over. Papá’s taunts whirl in my head. I’m not good enough to be a Souza, unlike Tomás.
Not strong enough. Not man enough.
He gets our father’s attention. His admiration. Respect. Maybe even his love, if that’s possible for a heartless bastard. Whereas I’m ignored.
I swallow hard, the lump in my throat making my breathing shallow sips. Tomás is my big brother. A powerful ally in a family run by a cruel tyrant.
It is the very reason why I shouldn’t have raised Papá’s gun and aimed it at his chest. But for some idiotic blip of sanity, I did.
My nostrils are flaring, because I can’t breathe properly and I’m blinking back fucking tears.
Jesus Christ. Papá was right. I am a loser.
“Mat?”
Tomás frowns, his black eyes drilling into mine and his own firearm drawn. He”s not pointing it at me, though. No, my brother keeps it low while my mine stays in position.
“What’s wrong?” he asks. “Did Papá do something to you?”
I go to speak, but the words won’t come out. I love this guy. But our father––he somehow knows how to fuck with my head.
Papá plays mind games with all of us and that’s why mama hates me visiting his plantation.
“I’m not like you, Tommy,” I mutter, unable to lower my arm or move my feet.
“You don’t have to be like me.”
Out of the corner of my eye, a soldier to the left of us takes aim and makes me his target. Of course he would. I’m just a seventeen-year-old threatening the heir to a criminal empire.
My brother is a fucking god in their eyes and I’m just a billionaire cartel prince who’d never be their king.
While my thoughts turn dark, it happens in a blur. Tomás juts out his arm, aims at the soldier a few yards away from him and shoots the guy in the forehead.
“No one points a gun at my brother! Comprende, motherfuckers.”
His eyes find mine and he kills the space between us, bumping his chest into the barrel of the gun I’m holding.
“He told you to shoot me, didn’t he?”
I nod. “It’s the only way he’ll accept me.”
The only way I’d earn his love.
“And you think killing me would be worth it?”
“No.” I admit, feeling queasy.
Sunlight catches the diamond studs in his earlobes when he cocks his head, taking a moment to consider me.
“He’s screwing with your head, Mat. Killing someone you love doesn’t make you a man. It crushes you from the outside in. And it sure as fuck doesn’t prove anything to anyone. Not even him.”
“I know.”
I let the cold steel drag down his pristine white shirt as my arm lowers.
“I’m sorry, Tommy.”
He leans into the side of my face, his cologne strong and his presence a little intimidating as he lowers his voice.
“Just so we’re clear, if Papá gave me the order to shoot you, I wouldn’t do it either. That doesn”t make me weak, does it?” I shake my head. “Precisely. We’re familia, and outside of that, nothing else matters. I value your life because you’re my brother. Learn to trust me, Mat. But pull a gun on me again and Shane will saw off your fucking arms. Do we understand each other, cabron?”
“Sí, brother.”
“Now get the fuck back to school and call me when you get there, so I know you’re okay.”