Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
Violet giggled, dancing with Deacon after she, Beth, Harry, Emerson, Savi—who Violet knew from Dodge City—and so many kids she’d lost count, had finished watching the movie.
She would definitely be listening to this soundtrack at work. The laughter and fun this evening had been a great break and a pick-me-up. It had been two days since her mom had blown up at Violet at work.
Beth had said she needed a break from the men and called for a girls’ and kids’ night at Speedy’s house. Speedy was over at Beth’s house hanging out with Flick, Gunner, and Brody.
They’d decorated sugar cookies and then made popcorn to eat during the movie.
It was such a different holiday season than Violet had ever had.
Her mom hadn’t loved any holidays. Violet would sometimes get a present from her mom.
Violet had quit trying to win her mom’s affection through presents three years ago.
It was crazy that she’d continued buying her mom one clear into Violet’s thirties.
Violet had been under the mistaken impression that as she got older, she and her mom might have something more in common.
After living here, Violet had come to the realization that her mom was a bitter woman who always saw the negative and was a master at being passive-aggressive. Violet couldn’t change her, but Violet decided she would change how she reacted to her mother.
“Shake that booty, Violet,” Beth yelled, turning Violet and shaking her own booty.
“Booty dance,” David yelled, bending over and doing some strange dance that reminded Violet of twerking but involved some other strange moves. She chuckled because Deacon and Grant obviously knew whatever dance he was doing.
Emerson danced by, singing at the top of her lungs. Oh, these women had become the friends she’d never had in high school.
As Violet was staring at her friends, she wondered if everyone exchanged gifts for Christmas.
How did one go about asking that? Violet didn’t need gifts, but she’d feel horrible if anyone bought her something and she didn’t have something for them.
She had some money but not a lot. What could she do for her friends?
And she wanted a gift for Deacon and something for Tessie. Should she buy Speedy a gift?
Violet tried to think of something special that would mean something to Speedy but not be a huge amount of money. He loved working in the garage on cars and motorcycles. He enjoyed singing. Speedy had sung to Deacon at bath time last night.
She’d been following Clara’s advice, and Violet thought she knew what Clara meant.
When Violet wasn’t looking at Speedy, if she glanced out of the corner of her eye, she’d catch him perusing her curves with a smirk on his face.
She’d had to brush by him to get to the refrigerator when he was heating a bottle.
Her bottom had brushed against the front of his jeans.
He’d made a noise in his throat that sounded like a groan.
Maybe he wasn’t as immune to her as she thought.
The problem now was, did she do anything about it?
And if yes, what? Violet had very little experience with guys.
Her mom had set up a blind date for Violet when she was twenty-four.
They’d gone out a few times and he was nice.
When he’d pressed for them to have sex, Violet had decided, why not?
He was nice, not bad-looking, and his kisses seemed okay.
She’d slept with him once and had to wonder what the heck the big fuss was about.
He’d grunted a few times, thrust inside, and then groaned.
She’d had no problem not sleeping with anyone since then because what a friggin’ disappointment.
They started picking up the room as parents came to pick up kids.
Winnie knocked and came in to pick up David. “Let’s go, buddy. Last day of school is tomorrow, then Christmas break.”
“Mom,” David whined. “Can Grant and Deacon stay the night if we promise to sleep and get up without whining?”
Winnie grinned and cocked an eyebrow. “No whining, huh?”
“Not a smidge,” he said.
“Well, Phoebe, Sprite asked if you wanted to stay with Blake? I’m happy to have Grant and Deacon with us,” Winnie said.
Violet wasn’t sure what to do. Did she have the authority to have Deacon stay the night without asking Speedy? Nope, she didn’t feel comfortable doing that yet.
“Hold on a sec, let me call Speedy,” Violet said.
“Call me for what?” Speedy asked as he walked through the door.
“To have Deacon and Grant stay the night with David. I’ll drop them at school in the morning,” Winnie said.
“It’s fine with me if you’re sure,” he said.
“Okay, tell the ladies thanks for putting up with you guys,” Winnie said.
Violet loved hearing all the kids say thanks and be so happy after having fun this evening. Beth gave Violet a hug as she left. She’d also whispered, “Alone time, enjoy,” as she left.
Violet finished setting the front room back the way it usually was. Speedy had gone to check on Tessie. If she followed her schedule, Tessie wouldn’t need a bottle for a couple hours.
Violet adored that Beth was looking out for her and pushing Violet and Speedy together, but exactly what was Violet supposed to do? Grab the man’s cut, pull him close, and lay one on him?
Violet did not have the confidence for that.
What if she was a horrible kisser because she’d only had the one guy who took her virginity and a couple of first and second dates?
No one had ever asked for a third date. Not that she minded.
None of the guys had intrigued her. Violet had gone out with them to appease her mother, who said she needed to snag herself a man before she was any fatter.
Now that she thought about it, Violet hadn’t ever dated someone that she’d been attracted to. They’d always been men her mother had pushed on her.
Ugh! She was going to shower and listen to some relaxing music because she needed to get her mother’s words out of her head. She walked into the bathroom, laid her phone on the counter, and started her shower playlist. They were all songs she used to change her attitude when she was down.
She slid off her clothes, avoiding the mirror, but Clara’s words kept coming back to her.
She was curvy, and if she believed Clara, it wasn’t a bad thing.
Sure, she had thick thighs, and they rubbed together but they were feminine.
Her breasts were large and nothing to be ashamed of.
She forced herself to look in the mirror, staring at herself with Clara’s words ringing in her head.
She was not a fatty like her mother said. She was choosing to believe that Clara, who had nothing to gain by lying to her, was truthful. She stood under the shower, letting the hot water beat down on her as she washed and conditioned her hair—the water and the music renewing her.
She grabbed her vanilla body wash and listened to the songs, the tension leaving her shoulders as she washed.
She rinsed the suds off, grabbing a towel for her thick hair and one for her body. She paused after she opened the shower curtain. She’d been so upset thinking about her mom that she’d forgotten her pajamas to change into and her robe.
She dried off, then wrapped the towel around her, tucking it in at her cleavage to hold it up. She’d blow-dry her hair, and then she’d hurry to her room for clothes.
Her hair took a little time, but it was something she loved. When she’d pushed it over her shoulder yesterday evening, she’d noticed Speedy following the movement, gazing at her. Maybe Clara was right, but if she was, why wouldn’t Speedy let her know?
She finished her hair and listened for anyone outside the door. It seemed quiet. She opened the door and sprinted toward her room, running directly into Speedy, who was coming from the front door.
Her chest hit his and she stumbled. His hands grasped her arms to keep her from falling. She stared up at him, wondering what to do. Her towel was still wrapped around her, but slamming into Speedy had loosened it a little. The globes of her breasts, almost to her nipples, were showing.
Speedy stared at her, not saying anything, his eyes filling with heat.
“Fuck it,” he said, sliding his hand up her arm to the back of her head, tilting her head before his lips touched hers.
Violet tried to catalogue every sensation because Speedy was kissing her.
His lips and tongue created something lower in Violet’s belly she’d never felt before.
She pressed closer, hoping he would do something about it.
His hand lightly tugging her hair had her wanting to rub her breasts against his chest.
She slipped her hand around his waist and over his buttocks to pull him tighter against her. His hardness pressed against her and increased the ache she was feeling. She wanted more but wasn’t sure how to tell him.
Each of his kisses dragged her further under until she was just along for wherever he led. She let out a small moan when his lips left hers, caressing and kissing her jawline to her ear. When he nibbled on her neck, she couldn’t be quiet.
Her sound in the quiet room had Speedy pausing, his breathing heavy and fast. He stared into her eyes. She wished she knew what he was thinking, but she could read the turmoil in them.
“I… I’m sorry, Violet. I overstepped. Please accept my apology. Can you watch Tessie? I need to go out,” he said, turning and leaving at her nod.
Violet watched him walk out the door and wished she had more experience and knew what had just happened. He’d gotten hard, so her kissing hadn’t sucked. But why had he left?