Chapter Thirty-Two
Effie agonised over what to wear for her date with Jake.
Hang on, it wasn’t a date. Was it? Probably better not to treat it as one, she decided, as she compared two of her favourite tops before choosing the comfiest. After all, Jake had seen her fresh from the sea, hair wild and wrapped in an old towel, so did it matter what she wore?
No. Also, he was still lacking commitment to staying in Polcarrow.
Plus, there was the small matter of him being on a break from Tara.
She really didn’t want to have to mend her heart when he decided to carry on chasing new horizons.
Friends, she reminded herself, pushing down the bubbles of happiness that always rose up when she thought of him.
Effie slipped on her shoes, took the bottle of wine she’d had chilling in her fridge and let herself out of the flat.
The evening light lay low and slumberous across the sea as she made her way round to the back of Lola’s café and up the staircase to Jake’s flat.
She paused before knocking on the door. Music was turned down and her heart rate leapt as footsteps made their way over to the door. Jake pulled it open.
‘Good evening.’ A smile spread across his face.
‘Good evening,’ Effie said, a sudden shyness taking over as she stood on the threshold of his home. Even though Jake had been in her flat, setting foot in his felt strangely intimate, as if it could reveal a whole new layer of him. ‘I brought this.’ She offered the wine.
‘Brilliant, come in.’ Jake pulled the door back and made space for her.
Effie stepped inside and removed her shoes, despite Jake telling her she didn’t need to. ‘I feel weird wearing my outdoor shoes in the house,’ she told him, ‘Anyway, if I end up on your sofa, I like to tuck myself up.’
Jake gave her a look as he processed her long explanation. Their eyes caught and it was as if all the air was sucked from the room.
‘Sorry, I’m sure you didn’t need to know all that,’ she said as she cast her eyes around the small, sparsely furnished flat.
It dawned on her that she wasn’t going to uncover anything new about Jake from his living space.
The décor didn’t give away much of his personality, but the lack of belongings screamed a lack of permanence.
Effie’s heart sank. She’d tried to kid herself that he’d choose Polcarrow, and maybe even choose her, but the emptiness of his flat was a sobering truth.
Out on the seafront when the sea breeze wrapped their worlds together, anything felt possible, but standing in the stark reality of Jake’s flat, Effie realised he had been honest when he said he might just be passing through. She had to believe him, not her hopes.
‘No, I like hearing all these little bits from you,’ he said. ‘Do you want a glass of this now?’ He signalled to the wine. ‘Or with dinner?’
‘Maybe a little now,’ she said, hoping it’d soothe her nerves.
Jake disappeared into the kitchen and Effie made her way over to the window with the sea view.
She watched the gulls strutting on the harbour wall before turning around to study the living room.
Jake had made some effort to create a cosy ambience.
A red throw over the arm of the sofa, a couple of matching cushions arranged neatly, a coffee table with a lone plant in the middle.
Gentle music wafted from the sound system and the lamps were on low.
A couple of candles flickered on the half-filled bookshelves.
Effie crossed over to them. There were a few sudoku puzzle books, some photography journals and a games console.
Jake returned and passed her a glass of wine.
‘Cheers.’ He held his out to her. ‘I’m embarrassed there’s no actual books there.’
‘Cheers.’ Effie chinked her glass against his and then took a sip. It was sharp and crisp, exactly how she liked her wine. She took a longer swallow. ‘I’m not judging.’ She winked. ‘You’ve really not been here long, have you?’
‘Yeah, it is a bit sparse,’ Jake laughed.
‘A couple of months now. My parents weren’t exactly expecting Jase or me to ever move home and you know, living at home at thirty doesn’t feel very cool.
I was sleeping on the sofa feeling like an intruder when I heard this flat was going free. Did you know Angelo used to live here?’
‘Really?’
‘Yep. When he arrived last summer, fleeing some drama back in London.’
Effie glanced around the blank walls. ‘I like the idea of this being a bolt-hole for the needy.’
‘Hey! Well, maybe I was a little needy,’ he admitted. ‘But I’ve not done near half as much to this place as you have to yours. A lot of my stuff is still in our flat in Bristol.’
Effie chose to ignore the ‘our’ and asked, ‘Do you still have itchy feet?’ Tired of the caginess about his plans, she decided to try and probe further, so that she could make an informed decision about risking her heart.
‘A bit. I’m in touch with some of the guys. They’re travelling around Cambodia and it looks amazing, so I feel like I’m missing out, but I don’t currently have the funds to join them. Otherwise, yeah, maybe I’d be there,’ he admitted.
Effie let this sink in. The reality that, despite saying he was seventy per cent sure he’d stay in Polcarrow, the temptation to bolt was still running wild through his veins. ‘I’ve never been anywhere,’ Effie sighed, trying to push away the feeling that she was dull and boring creeping in.
‘There’s still plenty of time,’ Jake reminded her. ‘Where would you go?’
Effie laughed. ‘I don’t actually know. I’ve always had my head too much in a book to think about the outside world.
It might sound weird because you’ve been everywhere, but I’d love to go to Scotland, right up to the other tip of the country.
See the Highlands.’ She didn’t admit this dream had been born from reading Outlander one too many times.
‘Confession time; I’ve been all over the Far East, Canada, Australia and if you can get a long haul flight, I’ve been, but never to Scotland properly, isn’t that terrible?
Tara had a whistle-stop commission in Edinburgh, but we were in and out in twenty-four hours, although from the photos you’d think we’d been there a week. ’
‘Was it really hard work?’
Jake nodded. ‘Yeah, sometimes. Early mornings. Lots of outfit changes,’ he groaned.
‘It really changed her. The woman I left was not the woman I fell in love with at uni. And I’m not the same person I was then, either.
Coming back here has allowed me to reflect on it all.
Sometimes I wonder if what I was searching for all along was always right under my nose.
Other times I feel the pull to book a ticket and go far away.
There’s still so many places I want to go. Do you get that?’
‘The travel thing? No, I’ve always felt happier in Cornwall. I realised that when I was twenty-one and now I’m worried I haven’t lived.’
Jake fixed her with a long look. ‘But are you happy, Eff? That’s what it boils down to.’
She met his eyes and rolled the answer around on her tongue.
Had she been happy back then? Certainly not.
Was she happy now? ‘Yes,’ she answered, ‘I am, or at least a lot happier than I thought I’d be.
I didn’t know what to expect from Polcarrow.
I thought I’d miss my family too much, but .
. . I feel a bit bad saying this, I don’t.
It’s like I’ve been forced to stand on my own two feet and I’m actually a lot better at it than I thought I’d be. ’
‘I’m really pleased you’re here; shall we toast it? Us both ending up in Polcarrow at the same time?’ Jake held his glass out.
Effie caught the look in his eye, the warmth that lingered there like embers.
Did he feel what she was feeling? An inexplicable tug forward, like there was a thread wound between them?
Would their timing just be fleeting though?
Standing up, she took a step forward and tapped her glass against his. ‘I’ll certainly drink to that.’
Feeling bold, she took a sip without breaking eye contact before a rumble from her stomach cracked through the intensity of the moment.
‘Oops.’ She giggled. ‘I’ve not had anything since a cheese and pickle sandwich at lunchtime,’ she confessed.
‘Good thing I’ve got everything prepped to start cooking. It’ll be minutes. Come through. I’ve got my laptop open – I need you to help me choose the photos.’
‘I still can’t believe you’re asking me.’
‘Fresh eyes,’ Jake said as he led the way into the kitchen where his laptop was open on the table. ‘Have a flick through whilst I get the food on the go.’
Effie slipped onto one of the chairs and couldn’t help but feel like she was prying as she tapped the mouse and the screen burst into life. A file full of photos was already loaded. ‘Do I just look through these?’
‘Yeah, go ahead.’
‘I feel like I’m prying,’ she told him as she opened the first one which revealed a peaceful pink dawn over a white sandy beach.
Effie studied it. It could be Australia, but equally it could be Cornwall.
She clicked onto the next, a beautiful autumnal scene that appealed to her cosy girl heart.
‘I like this.’ She turned the laptop towards him.
Jake peered over his shoulder. ‘That was in a cabin in Finland. We were off grid. The colours were amazing. That lake was freezing though. I only dipped my toe out of curiosity.’
‘Sounds like I’d love it. It’s beautiful, you should use this,’ Effie said after studying it for a moment longer, trying to imagine what it would feel like to plunge herself into a cold lake.
As she clicked through the other photos, unravelling the itinerary of Jake’s life, a lump started to form in her throat.
Had she missed out by staying put in Cornwall?