CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Lennox
I was nearly done working the conditioner through Naomi’s hair, having had to unravel her braids to wash it properly, when there was a knock at the bathroom door.
“Fresh clothes for her are just outside,” Gabrielle said. “How is everything in there?”
“We’re doing okay,” I replied. “Thank you.”
“You’ll stay here tonight. Raina and Marco are going to stay at Jagger’s, so you and Mabel can have the basement suite. We’ve already put fresh sheets on the beds.”
Her tone conveyed zero room for argument, and frankly, I was too tired to argue with her anyway.
Hopefully Mabel wouldn’t be too affected by the sudden shift in plans.
“Thank you.” I snapped my fingers and rushed back to the door.
“Gabrielle. Can you ask Tom to swing by my place on his way home and close my front door, please? We left it open.”
“Will do.”
I returned to Naomi, who was no longer shivering as she sat in the tub, her arms wrapped around her shins and her knees to her chest. She hadn’t responded, hadn’t said a damn word after I told her I loved her.
Not that I was expecting her to wax poetic back to me. But I was beginning to fear I’d spooked her.
“Are you ready to get out?” I asked her.
She nodded. “Yeah.”
I shut off the water and grabbed two big, white, terry cloth bath sheets from the cupboard.
One for her hair and one for her body. She was able to stand up on her own and drape them around herself as I opened the door and retrieved the fresh clothes.
The sweat-soaked ones were in the sink. Would she ever want to wear them again?
I hoped so. She was so cute in the linen overalls.
“Here,” I said, helping her step out onto the bathmat. “Looks like your cousins grabbed you some cozy, blue fleece overalls and a white T-shirt.”
Her smirk only claimed half of her mouth. I helped her towel off, then, just like I did when Mabel was little, I held out her underwear for her so she could step into them.
It was oddly intimate, and yet I welcomed the opportunity to take care of her. She was in this predicament because of me. Would have nightmares of being locked and cooked alive, because of me. At this point, there wasn’t a damn thing I wouldn’t do for this woman.
Once she was dressed, I found a brush in one of the drawers and slid it through her wet, silky tresses.
“I can try to do two braids,” I offered.
“I got pretty good at them when Mabel was little.” I scratched the back of my neck.
“Or at least, I thought I was okay at them. She’ll tell you otherwise. ”
She shook her head and quickly fixed her hair into two plaits.
Then she faced me, and my gut plummeted to my feet. The look in her eyes told a story of trauma and terror. But I also feared it held something else. The end. Of us.
“I heard what you said,” she whispered.
I swallowed.
“I’m not there yet. I’m close. But … today was a lot.”
I nodded. “I know. You don’t have to say it back.”
“I will. Soon. Just—”
“Let you process things for a bit.”
“Yeah.”
I reached for her hand and ran my thumb across her knuckles. “So long as you’re not calling us quits.”
“You came for me,” she said, her voice hoarse.
“Always. I’m sorry I didn’t get to you sooner. I thought she would be going for Mabel.”
“I never would have forgiven you if you’d come to me first before checking on your child. You did the right thing. I’m just glad she’s okay.”
I glanced at the floor between us. “I’m worried she’s going to be impacted by Kyla not wanting her. All along we thought that if Kyla ever resurfaced it would be to claim her child.”
Naomi gently shook her head. “She sees Mabel as the reason you two can’t be together.” Then she snorted. “Well, Mabel and me. She’s obsessed with you.”
“Yeah, I saw that.”
“Mabel is a bright, practical, and reasonable person. I’m sure she’ll see Kyla’s words for what they are. The ramblings of a delusional, mentally unwell predator. It’s better that Kyla didn’t want Mabel, truthfully.”
I continued to run my thumb over her knuckles. “I understand if you need space from me to process all of this.”
She met my eyes; fatigue made her lids hooded and her expression soft.
“There is going to be trauma from this. But I’ve lived with trauma my entire life.
I killed my husband, Lennox. And as much as I know it was the right thing to do, anybody with a conscience is going to continue to reflect on that choice.
My father was also abusive. I’m confident that I’ll be able to get through this and come out stronger on the other side.
Trauma lingers. It doesn’t disappear. We just learn to not let it control or define us. We learn from it.”
I swallowed and nodded. “I hate that she’s gone but not erased. Death would have been more finite.”
Tilting her head to the side, she gave it a little bob. “Yes, but now she has to live with her loss. She’ll never have you. And it will probably destroy her.”
“Is it wrong that I get a sick sense of satisfaction knowing that?”
Stepping closer to me and wrapping her arms around my waist, she pressed her cheek to my chest. “No. She deserves everything she has coming to her. You’re simply choosing to find joy in justice. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
I hugged her tight, grateful she came to me on her own. She was warm again, and soft, and smelled like the fruity shampoo I’d used to wash her hair. I pressed a kiss to her crown. “She sent me a message from your phone.”
Lifting her cheek away, she glanced up at me. “What did it say?”
That made me smirk. “I can’t do this. We can’t be together. I don’t love you. I never have. It’s over. We’re over.”
“And you knew it wasn’t me because I haven’t said the ‘L’ word?”
“Well, that and you’re a strong and brave enough person that if you wanted to end things with me, you’d have the ovaries to do it in person.”
“I would. But I’m not going to.”
“Good.”
Her sigh was deep and weary, and I could tell by the way her muscles relaxed that it went all the way to her toes. “Shall we go join the rest of the house?”
“Only if you’re ready.”
“I want to see the kids.”
I held the door open for her, and she stepped out into the hallway. Jovial banter met us as we made our way into the dining room. I had her towels and wet clothes in my arms, but Gabrielle spotted me and swooped in to grab them.
“I’ll take care of that,” she said, bustling off to the laundry room.
“Mom,” Honor said from the living room, beckoning us over.
We joined Austin, Honor, Laurel, Damon, Mabel, Sam, Tom, Danica, and Maverick in the living room where they were playing a game called Telestrations—at least that’s what the box in the middle of the coffee table said.
I sat next to Mabel, and she quickly explained the rules to me.
Naomi squeezed in between her children, and they each snuggled closer to her.
“Why do you keep drawing birds, regardless of what the statement is?” Austin asked Mabel. “A bird eating pizza … A bird milking a cow.”
“Because I am very good at drawing birds,” Mabel said matter-of-factly.
I caught Naomi’s eyes and smiled.
“Speaking of the ones with feathers, our friend Oakley the osprey is doing much better,” Tom piped up. “He may be ready to be released soon.”
“I’ll be over tomorrow to check on him,” Mabel said.
Tom simply nodded.
Gabrielle joined us, but didn’t sit down.
Like a mother hen, she was clucking around, making sure all her little chicks were taken care of.
She stood beside Maverick, and he covertly rubbed her butt.
“Nay, are you staying at your place tonight, or would you like me to put a blowup mattress in my office?”
“You could also sleep in the carriage house, and Sam and I can go sleep at Tom’s,” Danica offered. “If you’re not ready to go home.”
Naomi shook her head. “It’s my home. I love my home. We’re sleeping there tonight.”
We all smiled at each other. Mabel and I weren’t going to let Kyla breaking into our house deter us from going back either. But tonight it just felt right to stay at the vineyard. We’d all been through so much; it made sense to be together as a village.
I smiled to myself at that thought.
My daughter and I had arrived on this island a little over a month ago, not knowing a soul but eager for a fresh start. What we found was so much greater than that.
We found a village.
They chose us. They welcomed us in without judgement or prejudice. They accepted my daughter’s quirks—embraced them, in fact—and didn’t make us feel like the outsiders that we were.
Perhaps it was because they all had all been outsiders as well at one point. They had scars from deep cuts and scrapes of their own, triggers and struggles just like us. They understood our desire for a new beginning and rather than shun us; they helped us find what we came here searching for.
“Did everyone eat enough at the funfair, or should I make some nachos?” Gabrielle asked.
“Nachos,” Damon and Austin both said in unison.
“Sit down, babe,” Maverick said, standing up. “I’ll do it. You’ve been buzzing around here since we got back. Just take a breath.”
Gabrielle swallowed and zeroed in on Naomi, but I could tell that the matriarch of the family was just barely holding it together. A muscle ticked at the corner of her jaw as she squeezed her molars together tight, and her eyes welled up with tears.
Naomi pried herself off the floor and went to her cousin, wrapping her arms around her from behind. “I’m okay, Gabs. It’s all okay.”
Gabrielle nodded, but didn’t say anything. She just clutched Naomi’s arms where they wrapped around her chest and leaned into her. “I know. I know.”
I turned to Mabel, who was drawing a pigeon and something else. A toe and a bottle of nail polish maybe? “How are you doing, kiddo? You okay?”
She finished her picture, then set it down and faced me. “She never wanted me. Did she?”
I didn’t say anything right away. What could I say?
“It’s okay,” Mabel said after a beat. “I know it’s supposed to hurt, that my mother never wanted me. That even though we thought she’d find us to get me back, that was never the case. She only wanted you. But it doesn’t. It’s … a relief actually.”
“Really?”
Her nod was stiff, so I wasn’t entirely convinced.
“I hate her. So why would I want her in my life? And she clearly hates me because I ruined her life—”
“You didn’t—”
“I did, Dad. I ruined the life she wanted.”
“Mabel …”
She dropped her volume a little, even though everyone could still hear us.
“I’m a product of rape. Dr. Douglas helped me come to terms with and accept that reality a while ago.
You’ve made sure I’ve known from day one that you wanted me.
And that’s enough. I don’t want Kyla, and she doesn’t want me. And I’m okay with that.”
“Damn, you’re mature,” Maverick said, bringing over glasses of water for Naomi, Mabel, and myself.
I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her into me, pressing a kiss to the side of her head. “You were always wanted, kiddo. You might not have come at the most opportune time, but I’m so glad you’re here. You’re my whole world.”
“I think we can all agree that our past does not define our present,” Gabrielle said, having recovered from her rush of emotions. Naomi just sat on her knees next to her cousin. “It has shaped us into the people we are today, but it doesn’t control us.”
“And has no power over our tomorrow,” I said.
Mabel leaned into my side, and I caught Naomi’s eyes on me from across the room, and for the first time in a long time … I didn’t feel like I was waiting for something to go wrong.
I wasn’t that boy anymore.
Surrounded by noise and laughter and people who chose us, I realized I didn’t have to keep running.
I was home—with them.