Three
Just like those other days, I made my way to my favorite spot. There was a tree and a rare smooth spot that I’d always hoped was open. With the beach being primarily rocks, there was always a struggle to find somewhere that didn’t cause literal pain in the ass.
No one was around me, so I settled in and lost myself in the Puget Sound. There were plenty of people milling around me but none of them mattered.
So, when I heard “Liz?” I didn’t think to turn and look towards the voice. Until I heard “Lizzo?”
That caught my attention. There was only one person who ever called me that. I started peering around, squinting my eyes even though I was wearing the darkest sunglasses I had.
“That is you.” I caught a silhouette of Sean just as he got to me. “Hey, whatcha up to?” He wasted no time sitting next to me on the stony beach.
Before responding, I gave him a subtle look over. He had on what looked like a pair of swim trunks and a white tank top. I could see the dark ink wrapping around his entire right arm. Having only ever seen him in the branded work long sleeve shirt, this caught me by surprise.
I forced myself to look away from his arm, seeing that he was wearing a pair of dark sunglasses as well. Finally, I remembered that he’d asked me a question.
“I’m just relaxing. What about you?”
“I came for the ice cream.” He hooked a thumb over his shoulder, indicating Homefront, the best ice cream shop in all of Alki—and possibly all of Seattle.
“Where is it then?” I teased, noticing his hands were empty.
“I saw you on my way there.”
I looked between myself and the shop. I wasn’t exactly easy to see from the sidewalk. “How?” I blurted.
He shrugged instead of answering me. “What flavor do you want? Or do you want me to pick one for you like I do for your morning fix?” He cocked an eyebrow, probably referring to the blueberry mocha with extra whipped cream he made for me this morning.
“Uh.”
“And don’t say you don’t want ice cream. That’s not a valid answer.” He pushed to his feet.
I didn’t even bother trying to say no. First, it’s Homefront ice cream. Second, something about Sean’s demeanor disarmed me. “Um, dealer’s choice then.”
He nodded and jogged off to the shop.
I’d never seen him outside of the coffee shop and I don’t know that I would have recognized him like he had me. He didn’t seem anything like his work side.
But then again, I didn’t think I was anything like the “Lizette” that my clients got to see.
Somehow, Sean was back in what felt like two minutes. Seeing him out in the open elements had me even more curious about him.
“Here you go.” He handed me a cone with two massive scoops of ice cream.
“Jesus, did you get me enough?” I joked, not wasting any time sticking my tongue out and swirl the cone around, getting a taste of both flavors.
Sean plopped back down beside me, doing the same with his cone that matched mine. “I got you my two favorite flavors.”
“What are they?” I’d been trying to figure it out, but they always had so many different flavors that it was hard to figure out.
“Guess.”
“That’s not fair. They have like 50 flavors.” I whined between licks.
“Fine. Huckleberry Heaven and Kona Coffee.”
“Coffee, eh? Can’t get enough at work?” I teased, playfully bumping him with my arm.
“Call me addicted.” He quipped before diving back into his own cone.
We sat like that until we finished our ice cream, staring out into the water. It was one of our hottest days of the summer so far but being on the beach easily dropped it ten degrees.
“Let’s go swimming.” Sean broke me from my thoughts.
“What?”
“Yeah, come on.” He held his hand out towards me.
“I don’t have a suit on.”
“You don’t need one.” He looked me over.
I was wearing a pair of jean shorts and my favorite t-shirt.
It was oversized and the LSU logo had been all but completely worn off.
It was my dad’s college shirt. I had stolen it from his drawer when I was so young that it dragged on the floor when I wore it.
He pretended to reprimand me for taking it, but he never made an effort to take it back.
In fact, it ended up on my bed every time laundry was finished.
“Jeans are not meant for swimming.”
“Your shirt is long enough.” He blurted and instantly, I watched his eyes go probably the widest humanly possible. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I said that. That wasn’t appropriate.”
Despite blushing, a laugh escaped my lips. “When I was a kid, I stole this shirt from my dad and it was so long, it dragged on the floor around me.”
I don’t know what made me tell him that story. But it seemed to do the trick. His eyes receded back to where they belonged, and my face cooled off.
“I love that.” He smiled—genuinely.
“I remember that he pretended to be mad at me but the next time he washed our laundry, he left it with my clothes.”
“It sounds like you’re really close to your dad.” Sean looked at me and I could feel his eyes piercing mine. But in a good way. In a way that showed he really wanted to hear my stories.
“I am. My mom wasn’t ever around.” I left it at that. There was only one thing more painful in my life than Stephanie deserting me. And that was the loss of my mother.
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“It’s okay.” I shrugged and looked back out at the water. “I mean, it’s not but it’s been twenty years. I don’t even remember her really. I just remember my dad being sad for a long time and then him being okay.” Again, I found myself opening up to Sean with ease.
“Can I ask what happened?”
“Drunk driver.” I kept the answer simple. It was still too much for me to say that she was the drunk driver. She was the one who slammed her car into another car, instantly killing herself and putting the other driver in the ICU for three weeks.
“Oh damn, I’m really so sorry.” Again, Sean sounded sincere.
“What about your parents?” I didn’t want to sound dismissive but if I didn’t shift away from mine, I’d start crying. And I was not about to let the guy who makes my coffees see that side of me. This was already vulnerable enough.
“They’re great. They live in Idaho.” He didn’t give me much but from just those two sentences, I could tell he was close to them, but it wasn’t anything extravagant. I didn’t push him about it either.
“Do you have any siblings?” Sean asked.
“Nope, only child. What about you?”
“Older sister.”
It went on like that for long enough for me to completely lose track of time. We volleyed questions back and forth. Finally, Sean caught me off guard.
“What’s the camera for?” He nodded to my trusty Canon sitting beside my leg.
“I always have it with me.”
“Really? I’ve never seen you with it.”
“Well, I mean, I don’t always have it when I’m going to work. But after work, I do.”
“So, you’re a photographer?”
I never allowed myself to say that before. I took photos, yes. But didn’t I need to be a professional at it to be called one? Didn’t I need to earn money from it? It was how I’d always looked at cosmetology.
“I mean, I love to take pictures.”
“So, you’re a photographer.” He stated. “Have you ever thought about doing it full time?”
I looked away from Sean. In fact, I turned my head about as far away from him as possible.
“Is that a bad question?” His voice was tender and almost scared—as if he thought he said the wrong thing. To make up for it, he covered my knee with his hand.
“No.” I answered, too fast, whipping my face back towards his.
“Okay.” He replied but I knew he wasn’t convinced of it.
“When I was a kid, I had two dreams. To be a cosmetologist or a photographer. And then I met my best friend, who was also into cosmetology. So, we went down that path together.”
“That’s awesome.” Sean offered.
I let him believe that.
“But I never stopped wanting to do photography.”
“Why don’t you?”
“I—”
“You can do both, can’t you? I mean, you have your camera with you. Aren’t there like freelance jobs or art galleries you could sell your photos to?”
“I mean, yeah.”
“What’s keeping you from doing that?”
“I don’t know.” I let the words flow under my breath.
“I think you should. I bet your photos are amazing.”
I felt myself blushing. Was it because of the compliment? Was it because of the interest he was showing in it?
Or was it the interest he seemed to be showing in me?
I shook my head, removing the thought completely.
“What are you thinking about?” Sean asked, causing me to fail completely.
“Nothing.” I blurted.
I felt him staring at me but didn’t dare to look at him.
“I had the same reservations back when my best friend and I started Dead in December.”
“Dead in December?” My face twisted into confusion. “What is that?”
“Our band.” He said it so nonchalantly.
“You used to be in a band?” I couldn’t keep the shock from my tone. Sean did not look like any of the guys I used to drool over at the hole-in-the-wall venues. Well, not when he was in his work attire, at least. “Were you in a boy band?” I teased, bumping his shoulder with mine.
Sean let out a hearty laugh. “First of all, who said I’m not still in a band. And second of all, no it is not a boy band.”
“You’re still in the band?” Now, I was genuinely intrigued. I secretly looked him over again. Now that he said it, I could see “I’m in a band” written all over him. From the disheveled hair to the tattoos wrapping around most of his body.
“Yes, I am.”
“What instrument do you play?”
“I’m the bassist and back up vocalist.”
“You can sing?!” I exclaimed.
I watched the color creep on to Sean’s face as he sheepishly grinned. “Yes, I guess I can.”
“That’s amazing!” I was aware that I was becoming that giddy fan girl. But this was a side of Sean I’d never gotten to see before.
“I don’t think I’ve ever gotten that response before. At least not in that tone, and I’m not sure how I feel about it.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“No, it’s actually not.” He looked perplexed.
“What tone are you used to?”
He half shrugged. “I guess it’s not so much the tone as it’s the…reaction.”
By his demeanor, I was able to conclude that he was talking about the girls who meant it in more of a “take me now” kind of way.
“I see.” I stifled back a laugh.
“That sounds wrong.” He started back pedaling. “I swear I’m not a man-whore or anything. I’m not looking for girls to throw themselves at me. And it’s not like I get all of the attention. Joey gets most of it.”
“But it sounds like you still get plenty.” I teased.
“Maybe some.” He shrugged and I could tell he was almost embarrassed by it.
“Don’t be embarrassed, it’s a good thing.” I bumped into his arm again.
“It is?” He cocked one eyebrow at me. “What do you mean by that?”
“I don’t mean anything. I just mean that it’s something not many people can say. That they’re in a band and that people like them.” I couldn’t think of any other way to phrase it. What, that he had girls throwing themselves at him. I didn’t exactly know him well enough to say something like that.
“Is that really what you’re saying?”
“Yeah.”
“Uh huh.” Sean teased but didn’t elaborate.
“What?”
He held back a smile. “Nothing.”
I let the silence linger between us, not having the courage to push him.
“Anyway, the whole purpose of me telling you that was that I was scared to branch out too. I thought for sure we were going to fail. But we didn’t. I mean, it’s not like we’re Breaking Benjamin or Three Days Grace but we still book gigs occasionally.”
“Really? Do you guys have any set up right now? I’d love to come.”
“Not right now we don’t.” He smiled. “But I’ll be sure to tell you if we get one. We’re all a little busy. Well, the other guys are. One just had a baby, another just got engaged.”
“That’s exciting.”
“Yeah. Meanwhile, I’m brewing coffee every morning.”
“Give yourself more credit. You’re the only reason some of us are even able to function most days.”
“Now that’s what I call a compliment.” Sean laughed.
Before I could say anything else, my phone started vibrating. I pulled my phone out, confused as to who would be calling me.
Dad illuminated my screen.
“I—I need to take this.”
Sean took the cue and pushed to his feet. “Honestly, I need to get going. I lost track of time.”
“I did too.” I held the phone close, not ready to say goodbye to Sean but not wanting to miss my dad’s call.
“We’ll have to raincheck on swimming. I really enjoyed this though, Lizette.”
I was so shocked by him using my full name that I almost forgot to respond. “I did too.”
“I’ll see you soon, alright?” He waved to me before backing away.
“Yeah.” I replied before quickly swiping up on the green phone icon. “Hey, Dad.”
“What’s up, kiddo? Did I get you at a bad time?”
I looked back towards where Sean had walked off to. “No, not at all. What’s up?”
“Okay.” I could tell he didn’t quite believe me but didn’t want to push it. “I just wanted to check in with you. We haven’t talked in a bit, and I had a few minutes.”
While my dad and I were really close, we still didn’t talk on the phone a lot. It just felt normal for us though. We spent the next twenty minutes catching up. I knew he was itching to ask about work, but he steered clear.
He knew how I’d been feeling, and he’d tried encouraging me to change paths too but knew how terrified I was.
He’d gotten stuck in a career he had never planned to stay in and didn’t want the same to happen to me.
But at the same time, he knew just how easy it was to stay with the stability I’d grown accustomed to.
Finally, our topics were running dry, and my stomach was growling.
The ice cream didn’t quite fill in as a substitute for dinner.
So, we made plans for me to take a trip down to see him in Portland in a few weeks and then we said our good-byes.
The temptation to order delivery was strong and our pantry was rather sparse so in the end, Pad Thai from my favorite Thai restaurant won me over.