Nine
JESS
The clock ticked over to five o’clock. It was Friday.
Everyone else in the office left by three, as was typical on the weekend.
I could have left. I didn’t need to enter those last insurance appeals.
They could have waited until Monday, but what was the point?
It’s not like I had anywhere to be. The house was too damn quiet as I puttered around there, alone, with nothing to do but think about him.
Gathering my belongings, I headed out of my four-wall prison. I really did hate my job. It wasn’t becoming more bearable. If it were getting worse, I could understand my discontent, but it wasn’t getting worse. It was the same shit, different day, and each day was bleeding into the next.
It had nothing to do with the job. I was stuck with nowhere to go.
Sitting in my car, I turned over the engine and sat, waiting for the worst of the hot air to blow out before I closed the door and cranked the air conditioning.
My phone rang.
A glance at the screen showed “Unknown Caller.”
Stabbing the “Decline” button, I closed the door, put the car in gear, and headed for home.
My phone rang two more times over the course of the drive, but since I was driving, I ignored it and let it go to voicemail. It obviously wasn’t someone I wanted to talk to if it didn’t show up as one of my contacts.
Twenty-three minutes later, I pulled onto my street, only to see something in my driveway, which shouldn’t have been there.
A motorcycle.
I didn’t know anyone who owned a motorcycle. What the hell was it doing in my driveway?
As I got closer to the house, I saw someone sitting on my front step. A man. He looked down at his phone, then put it to his ear. My phone rang again. “Unknown Caller” again. Lord love a duck, was it him calling me?
At the sound of my car, he looked up, disconnected from his call, and my phone stopped ringing.
He was here. In San Antonio. At my house.
It was Chaos. His name was so appropriate. He blew into my life, tore everything apart, broke me, then flew away. Now he was back. What more damage could he possibly want to create?
Like Pandora with her infamous box, I tried to clamp down on my spiraling fantasies of why he would be here. There’s no way it would be because of me. Jaded’s tour literally finished two days ago. Could he possibly have an assignment here? What were the odds?
He stood as I opened my car door. Afraid that if I walked towards him he might disappear, I stood with the open door between us like a shield.
When he got closer, I noticed his hair was a little longer than it had been the night we’d met, and he looked tired.
“Hi, little goddess.”
Lord, his voice sounded so good. Like a warm blanket on a crisp fall night around a bonfire.
“Chaos. What are you doing here?”
“I came to see you.”
“I know the tour is finished. Do you have a job here? Or somewhere close by that you’re passing through?”
I couldn’t handle it if he were passing through.
It took two weeks after I got home to even haul myself out of bed to go to work.
The last three months had been a slog, every day.
Everything reminded me of him. I’d known it would be hard to let him go, but I hadn’t expected just how debilitating it would be.
“Nope. No job. Not yet anyway. Cosmos gave me some time off for good behavior, and I thought I’d come see you.”
“How did you find me? I didn’t give you my number or my address.”
He stepped around the open door and put one hand on the roof of her car, the other on the door itself, blocking any chance of escape. “You ran out on me that night before I could get them.”
“What was the point? You’re an easygoing guy, you said.
You make friends fast, and you don’t get too hung up when it’s time to move on.
” I felt myself pick up speed as I replayed his words, pain and panic taking over, squeezing my heart.
“When you come back to a place, if you see someone you knew before, you’re able to pick up where you left off, like you were never gone, and then when it’s time to leave again—”
He took a step toward me, but I warded him off with my hands. “Don’t!” I begged. “Please.” I sounded broken. I knew it, but I couldn’t help it. There was too much pain to keep inside.
Why? It wasn’t even one night. Barely a couple of hours together. How could he tear me apart like that in such a short amount of time?
“Oh, little goddess. I fucked up so bad.” Suddenly, his arms enfolded me. He smelled so good, like sunshine and leather. I clung to him, desperate to hold on, even though I knew he wasn’t staying.
I don’t know how long we stood there hugging in my driveway. Whatever amount of time it ended up being, it wouldn’t be enough. I had to pull back. I had to send him on his way so I could go inside and fall apart all over again.
“Not this time, Jess,” he whispered into my hair when I struggled to get free.
Okay, so I didn’t struggle that hard, but I tried.
“I can’t, Jamie. I can’t be your repeat call. I can’t do ‘It’s great to see you’ then ‘See you later.’ I tried. I thought I’d get over you, but I didn’t. I can’t. So, you need to go. Please.”
He hugged me tighter. “No way, little goddess. I’ve got thirty days off.
I’m spending each of them with you. I know you have to work, but give me the rest of your time.
Then I’ll have to go back to work, but Cosmos plans to keep me stateside, or if he can’t, he’ll give me smaller jobs.
Only a week, so I don’t have to go so long without you. ”
I tipped my head up. The look on my face must have been one of shock as he was chuckling at whatever he saw.
“Yeah, I surprised myself. But I’ve had more time to adjust to it than you have.
I knew the night you disappeared, I wanted more.
Then you were gone. Cosmos said you’d gone back to the city.
He didn’t know where you were, and then we had to leave. ”
“You want more? With me?”
“Only you. I don’t know how, but I fell in love in the space of two hours. I can’t wrap my head around it, but it happened.”
How was this possible? Less than two hours wasn’t enough time to fall in love, was it?
“You love me?” Tears welled in my eyes. I felt frustrated with him, yet so happy, the only reaction I could come up with was to punch his chest with my closed fists. “Why didn’t you call? I’ve been dying here without you.”
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know what to do. I tried to get your contact information, but Abby wouldn’t give me your number. One of Cosmos’ friends offered to hack into the phone company to find it, but I didn’t think you’d appreciate that.
“I got it another way eventually, but then we were on the road nonstop, and part of me felt like it shouldn’t be a conversation we had over a video call.
I wanted to call so many times. Hubble almost sent me home after the first two weeks because I was moping…
his words… and maybe I should have let him, but I didn’t want to shirk the job I signed on for, and… ”
He ran his fingers through his hair, dislodging some strands up front to flop over his eye. “Let’s just say no decision I’ve made regarding us since the night we met has been the right one. I knew the minute we touched down, I needed to get to you.”
“You rode your motorcycle all the way from Chicago?”
“I needed the time to think. Figure out how to grovel. Please have some mercy on me. I’ve never been in a relationship, so I’ll need a lot of training.”
“You’re assuming I still want you,” I told him, trying to keep a straight face.
“These past three months have been hell. I missed two weeks of work after I got home. I couldn't even get out of bed because I was so paralyzed. Then, when I finally went back, most days I don’t even remember them. It was awful, Jamie.”
His face lost color, realizing he had, in fact, assumed I’d take him back with open arms. “Jesus, Jess, I…”
“Never do it again,” I whispered. “I love you too, you big idiot. But if you stay now, you stay. We work through it if you start to feel smothered or whatever. I can handle the job, as long as you’re not gone for months at a time, and as long as I’m the only woman in your life.
No more new or repeat callers,” I warned. “That’s a hard limit.”
He framed my face in his hands and brought his lips to mine. A soft touch, barely there, but heartfelt and true. The real Jamie. The one I fell in love with.
“The only woman I have on redial is you, little goddess.”