Ten
PEARL
I go upstairs to my room and shut the door. After Colton walked away from me, I was in such a state of arousal and shock I told my parents I wasn’t feeling well and wanted to go home. I was going to try and talk to Colton about us, and he goes and kisses me like that.
Though he finished me off, I could tell he was in a hurry to get away from me.
It hurt. I saw him get into a taxi and disappear without giving a backward glance.
If I was anyone else, I would take huge offense to that.
But I know him. Maybe not personally as a man, but I know part of him.
I know how much he loves and respects my mom and dad.
I know how much he feels like part of our family.
I know he feels like he’s betraying his friend.
But I need to tell him that’s not how it’ll go. If he feels as strongly as I do, he should be able to express his feelings and allow them to happen. I wanted to do that at the party but missed my chance.
I got an email from him saying this can't happen again. It can't happen, my ass. The people who know me know I always get what I want and work hard to get it. I’ll work hard for Colton, and I know in my heart he will do the same for me.
Dear Pearl,
I know what we did last night was amazing, but it can't happen again.
We can't happen. It's not right. I’m so much older than you, and you have your whole life ahead of you.
You can't let an old man like me get in the way of that.
I was drinking, and though that's not an excuse, it doesn't mean it can happen again.
I’m so sorry,
Colton.
It’s the weekend now, and I know he’s at home.
So I get on my bike with my backpack in tow and head to Colton's house.
I still remember where it is from the last time I was there, which was the day he moved in.
He even got a cat on that day. The cat hated him since the day that he got it; he still kept it.
Now she hangs out in his basement all day except that she goes outside to play with butterflies, or so I was told by my dad, who went to his house a few times over the years.
I hightail out to his house and go to the front door. I don't even bother to knock. I open the door, step inside, slam the door behind me, and wait for Colton to show up.