Two
NAOMI
I wasn’t.
I should have let the other CATS stick to mommy-hood, but I got caught up in baby fever after Millie and Keelie started showing, and…here I was, screaming and crying and in more pain than I could remember. My earlier years were filled with pain.
The ambulance ride to the hospital was a chaotic blur. Even though the medic frowned and stated Serenity couldn’t join us when Adam asked her, Adam got his way. My man pretty much always did, and I was glad.
“Breathe through the discomfort, Naomi.” Serenity showed me the exercise again. “It will help the pain to pass.”
It did. Sort of. I still felt like I was taking internal fist slams to my tummy and va-jay-jay, but the breathing centered my mind.
Okay. I could do this. I gave Adam’s hand a squeeze. He tried to smile back, but he just looked wrecked.
We arrived at the hospital moments later, and some staff members rushed me to Labor and Delivery, which was decorated with weird vinyl furniture and a bed that looked straight out of a medieval torture chamber.
I shuddered at the stirrups and the thin, hard mattress so many other women had labored on.
I didn’t want to be in this sterile environment that smelled so strongly of disinfectant my head spun.
Adam kept his lush lips firmly compressed as he stripped me out of my unflattering maternity pants and expensive, impractical underwear.
I felt empowered and sexy-as-fuck in high-quality lingerie, which was why I worked for a lingerie boutique.
Gorgeous body wear was my obsession, but this confection of satin and lace were destroyed.
Not that I’d ever seen them on my body…I couldn’t see my toes, let alone my panties.
I placed my hands on his shoulders, needing the support to balance my ungainly self as I stepped out of the offensive undergarment. They landed on the floor with a disturbing splat.
Oh, I was glad they were off of me.
There was a knock at the bathroom door. Adam looked up at me, making sure I was okay with another person joining us.
“Come in,” I said, not bothering to cover my nakedness. I was proud of my body…even with my rounded middle. Anyone knocking on the door planned to help with the delivery, so they’d be getting personal with my hoo-ha. Seeing a bit of boob along the way was just, well, a bonus.
Serenity poked her head inside. “Oh, good! You should take advantage of the tub.”
She gestured toward the egg-shaped pool. I remained unconvinced by how that would be helpful.
“Um…I was expecting to get in a gown and have the doctor shoot me up with a drug or three and stop the contractions. What with it being too early and all.”
Serenity stepped into the space, her face calm. A contraction slammed into me, and I clutched at Adam’s shoulder, moaning my way through the pain. Once it ended, I slumped against him.
“Your doctor isn’t on call, and the obstetrician who likes to do C-sections is.” Serenity glanced at both of us, her expression grave. “You can go that route, of course—it’s your baby, your birth, but…”
“I read about the tons of Caesarians doctors perform each year and how they don’t benefit the mom or baby.” I bit my lip.
“I need you to decide on your treatment plan,” Serenity said. “If I can’t manage the birthing, I’ll call in the doctor—you need to understand that. But I’m confident your child isn’t in distress based on the tests we did in the ambulance—just impatient to arrive.”
“Are there any concerns we should be aware of?” I asked.
Serenity listed the potentialities of this birth, but I wasn’t worried about that. We were in a world-class hospital, and Adam would fight tooth and nail for me.
What did worry me was the scary potential side effects of an unnecessary operation. And I’d have a scar.
Gah. That was such a stupid fear, but now that I’d thought about it, I couldn’t stop thinking about it, and it wound around my brain, making me panicky. What if Adam didn’t want me anymore?
What if I didn’t like my body after pregnancy?
“Just get him in here to give me the meds to stop the contractions.”
Serenity pressed her lips together. “So, that won’t happen.”
“Why not?” Adam rose from his position on the floor.
“Because, based on the EMTs’ preliminary examination in the ambulance, the baby’s already in the birth canal and no longer surrounded by the amniotic fluid.
The placenta protected the child from various bacterial viruses.
Postponing the inevitable increases infection risk for you or the child, and the likelihood of a C-section with potential complications. ”
“You’re saying this baby’s going to show up sooner rather than later?” I asked. At least it was only October 27, not actually Halloween. I wanted our child to have their own special birthday, and I knew that was important to Adam as well.
“Based on the intensity and closeness of the contractions, I’d say that’s likely. In fact, I’d guess Naomi’s labor will be short.”
Another contraction hit and more fluid gushed from between my thighs. This time, blood mixed with the clear fluid, which left me woozy and scared.
“Wish it would stop being so painful,” Adam muttered.
Serenity seemed unperturbed. “Should I inform Dr. Wong about your preference for an epidural and C-section, or do you prefer a natural labor in the bath?”
“Those are shit choices,” I gritted out as the pain from my middle radiated outward.
I looked at Adam, noting his longing glance toward the tub and realized that he wasn’t saying anything because he believed it was my choice…that controlling this part of the situation would help me calm down and even be more comfortable with this entire birthing train wreck.
“I’ll do the tub, but I want the doctor on standby,” I said.
“Of course,” Serenity said. “That’s why we’re here—in case anything isn’t ideal for you or the baby.”
Adam’s shoulders unclenched as his expression relaxed. That meant he really wanted me to attempt the tub-birth. Of course he did. Cormac talked it up—making it seem like a beautiful event. Except Keelie had their baby at home, and I was in the hospital because we might need the NICU services.
Most likely we would.
Damn my body for not doing pregnancy right—
No.
I shook my head. The intrusive thoughts made me worry about Adam finding me attractive again.
“You need to leave. You can’t see this part. You’ll never find me attractive again…” I ended with a moan as my belly tightened with extreme force.
Adam cupped my cheeks and breathed slowly through his nose. My hands found his wrists, and I followed suit—just as he knew I would. He was such a good man. Perfect for me. I should tell him more.
“I love you,” he murmured. “And you are not alone. I will not leave you.” His gaze locked onto mine, those beautiful eyes filled with the promise of forever.
“I love you, too. So much.”
“That’s a beautiful affirmation,” Serenity said in that lulling, nana voice. “It’s best to get you somewhere flatter, like the tub, as the baby is deep in the birth canal.”
“Wh-what?” I asked, blinking at her.
Adam turned my face back toward him. “Don’t you worry about anything else, sweetheart. We’re having a bath birth, just like you wanted, but were too worried to admit.”
I gaped at him, hating that he knew me so well even as I went squishy and loved him more because he knew me so well.
Serenity bustled out, only to come back a moment later with some lavender-scented cleaning supplies. “We used these for Keelie’s birth of Brooks. That way, it won’t smell as much like the rest of the hospital in here.”
“Do you carry those with you?” I asked.
She shot me a smile as she sprayed.
“No, I don’t, but perhaps I should start. Keelie gave me these and fluffy towels on the way out. She said someone would get your go-bag.”
I dropped my gaze and swallowed around my embarrassment. I hadn’t packed one. I wasn’t planning to have a baby this soon—not for at least several more weeks. The worst part was that I was the organizer, the doer, because it made me feel in control. But with this baby, I just…hadn’t.
Because I knew I’d never be in control? I frowned, needing to ponder that more. These thoughts drifted through my mind while Serenity scrubbed and I suffered through another contraction…and another…and another.
“Those are so close,” I groaned.
“How’s the pressure?” Serenity washed her hands.
“Extreme,” I admitted.
“That’s because you need to push this sweet one out.”
I clasped Adam’s hand, a totally different rush of emotion hitting me. “Don’t leave. Please don’t leave me.”
He kissed my knuckles. “Never. I’ll never leave you, Naomi.”
Voices filtered through the shut door as Serenity filled the tub. One voice rose, anger vibrating through the door.
“What’s going on? Is there a problem?” Adam stepped in front of me, shielding my body with his bigger one.
“I’m sure the staff have it under control,” Serenity said.
“That sounds like—” Adam began. I gripped his hand and hunkered down.
“Don’t worry about them,” Serenity said. “You focus on you and your baby. Do you know what you’re having?”
“A healthy kid,” I said, my tone flat while Adam said, “A boy.”
I gasped, and he ducked his head. “You looked?”
He shot me an apologetic glance. “I couldn’t help it…the suspense was killing me.”
Another contraction waylaid my answer. The tub was more than halfway full. Adam kicked off his shoes and toed off his socks so that he could step into the tub and help me in. His jeans grew wet.
“Why don’t you get behind her?” Serenity asked. “You can sit there, supporting her and push on the top of her belly when I tell you to.”
Adam nodded. A moment later, after another hell of a contraction, I noted that he’d shucked his pants. “Adam!” I cried, my face burning both from exertion and embarrassment.
“What? No way you want to feel wet denim on your skin. You know how sensitive you are.”
“Oh, my…you’re practically naked.”
“You are naked,” he replied.
“I’m having a baby,” I said.
He looked confused. “So am I.”
God, he melted my heart. I loved this man. So much.
“Fine, but keep the boxers on,” I said.
“They’re very festive.” Serenity chuckled. “I like the pumpkins.”
Adam caught on to what I hadn’t said, and his skin flushed from his cheeks straight down to his chest. “I—I—”
As soon as he settled into the water, I leaned back against him. I didn’t want another woman, even our doula, seeing my husband in his undies. “They’re like a holiday swimsuit,” I said.
If Adam answered, I didn’t hear him because I was too busy trying to push a baby—a boy—out of my vagina. That wasn’t as easy to do as I expected. Or maybe it was just as hard as I theorized. The task at hand demanded all my focus, leaving no room for decision-making.
Baby was coming out.
“Damon, Daxton, Dash…” I bellowed.
“Are you repeating a list of boy names?” Adam asked. He rubbed my shoulders before sliding his hands down my taut belly, easing the tension there, too.
“Yes!” I gasped. “Elvis, Ever, Falcon, Fender…” I panted.
“Breathe,” Serenity said, showing me what she wanted.
“Those all suck,” Adam said.
“They do n…They do. So I didn’t look at names,” I said.
“What about Xander or Archer? Those names are badass, and this little guy is going to be a total bruiser. Probably play on defense or slam some pucks into the crease…”
“I wish you’d told me you were picking out names,” I growled as I gave another momentous push. I flopped back against his shoulder, exhausted, even as I tried to peer over my mound of baby bump to see what Serenity was doing between my legs.
“I didn’t want to stress you out,” Adam said.
“What if I don’t like the ones you do?”
“Then we’ll find something we both like. There are thousands on names…whoa, I can feel your muscles tightening.”
“I liked Xander with an X or Xavier,” I cried.
Adam kissed my temple. “You can pick once he’s out of you, sweetheart.”
“He’s not coming,” I panted. “I’m going to be stuck in this tub forever.”
“Then so will I,” Adam said.
I loved/hated him. Why did he think now was the time to be funny?
“Come on, little one,” Serenity said. “It’s time.”
I pushed, Adam pushed, Serenity tugged…and I cried as I watched our tiny—as in much smaller than Brooks—baby swim through the water while Serenity supported his back and head, keeping his tiny, perfect pink mouth and button nose out of the water.
“He’s so happy,” I sobbed.
“A little felicitation for the start of the holiday season,” Serenity said. “I’ll give him another moment here before I hand him to you, Mother.”
At that word, Mother, I lost it. My mom had done her best, but poverty and pain riddled my childhood. I’d chosen my first lover based on his ability to provide a better future and missed the signs that he’d abuse me and try to control me.
But Adam wasn’t like my ex, not at all. He showed me an abundance of love and affection, as well as material things, even too much food, just to see me smile.
My meltdown ended. I was Adam Kramer’s wife, which meant I was safe. He loved me and supported me, which made me powerful. But now, I was a mother, and that made me…something new.
Hopefully, something better.
I leaned back and kissed Adam, secure in knowing our baby lay in Serenity’s arms. “Felix Xander.”
Adam pulled back a bit, first to study me, then to study our newborn who had remained quiet though his eyes were open and alert, focused on us.
“Felix. Yeah, that’s perfect. I love it.
” He cleared his throat and wrapped his thick arms around me, just under my breasts. He kissed my neck. “Perfectly badass.”
“I love you,” I said to Adam. With trepidation, I accepted Felix and cradled his head, my other hand on his back, while Serenity grabbed a soft baby towel. I wrapped us both in it, enjoying the peace of my family, together, in the warm, scented water.
“He needs to get checked out by the neonatal staff,” Serenity said. “Mm, he’s small, but that’s to be expected because he made his arrival a few weeks before his due date.”
“He’s okay? I mean, he’s breathing…” Adam said before I could pry my jaw open.
“He is. His Apgar is good. I think he was just impatient.” She shot me a smile and a wink. I smiled back. Serenity was an awesome woman, and I was glad she’d been at Keelie’s house when I needed her. I’d have to thank Keelie and Serenity soon.
“Like both his parents. But I’d like to hear he’s healthy from the pediatrician who’s on call.” My gaze flew to Serenity’s as another pain hit me.
“Just the afterbirth, my dear. Let Dad hold Felix while we get you taken care of. Then, you can share your joy with your friends, and I can tell the obstetrician to shove his scalpel in a place we’d all benefit.”