One
SAWYER
I’ve dreamt of becoming a race car driver since I was fifteen.
I’ll never forget the first time I saw a car speeding down the track at Auto Club Speedway.
My Uncle Liam took my sister, Carissa, and me.
Carissa hated it and complained the entire day, but not me.
Uncle Liam always joked that I was like the nephew he never had.
Even though I’m a girl, I was the tomboy who loved sports and rolling around in the dirt.
When we got home, still high on adrenaline, I begged my father to sign me up for the junior racing league.
At first he laughed it off. I think he thought my excitement would wane as the days went by, but my persistence won in the end.
The following month, I was sitting behind the wheel of my first race car, changing my life forever.
The hot steam of the shower mixed with my favorite memory has me wishing I was back in bed, snuggled under the covers, dreaming about a happier time in my life. I plead with the coffee that I just downed to wake me up. I’m already running a few minutes late for work, and that just won’t do.
Turning the water off, I grab the towels hanging on the wall just outside of the shower and toss my hair up in one of them. Wrapping the soft material of the other towel around my body, I inhale the scent of eucalyptus one more time before stepping out of the steam and into the cold bathroom.
Today will be a good day.
My mantra plays itself in my head as I pad over to the sink and pull out my toothbrush. Loading it up with toothpaste, I tap the screen of my phone to see what time it is.
8:13 A.M.
Shit.
I need to get moving. I begin to brush as my phone rings. Furrowing my brow and wondering who’s calling so early, I glance at my phone.
Vic.
My manager. My eyes go wide, and I speed brush the rest of my teeth quickly, spit out the toothpaste, give my mouth a half-assed rinse, and answer the phone.
“Hello?” I say, holding my next breath.
“Sawyer, how’s it going?”
“Going good, thank you. What’s up?”
“I have some good news for you,” Vic replies.
“Oh?” I ask, trying so hard to contain myself, but I feel like I am going to burst at the seams with excitement.
“I spoke with one of the league’s owners last night. He has one spot open on his team for the upcoming season, and he’s very interested in a meeting with you.”
Holy shit. Breathe, Sawyer.
“Really?”
“Yeah, from Powell Racing.”
“I’m sorry,” I laugh, “I thought you just said Powell Racing.”
“Yes, Powell Racing. That’s what I said.”
“No. Vic, they’re a cup series team.” I adjust my towel, tightening it around my body again.
“I know, it’s an incredible opportunity for you.”
“But I’m not ready!” I shout into the phone, flabbergasted that this conversation is actually happening. “I’m supposed to go to the minor leagues first.”
“Listen, Sawyer. The owner, Jackson, saw your tape and wants to put a face to the name. You owe it to yourself to see how this plays out, kid.”
I almost don’t hear him because the voice inside of my head is screaming louder than the engine of a Chevy Impala SS as I try to wrap my brain around what he just said. A move from an independent racing club to a cup series team is almost unheard of.
“How did this happen?”
“Initially, the owner was putting together a minor league team in addition to the cup series team he already has. A few weeks ago, word got around that he was looking for some drivers, so I submitted your tape. I’m not sure why he changed his mind about creating the minor league team, but he’d still like to meet with you about the open spot on his cup series team. ”
“Holy shit, you’ve got to be kidding me,” I reply, still in a state of disbelief.
“I promise I’m telling the truth,” Vic laughs through the phone.
“This is unbelievable. Thank you so much, Vic.”
“It wasn’t me, Sawyer. You’re the one on those tapes. You should be proud of yourself.”
I catch my reflection in the mirror and can barely hold in the squeal that’s begging to come out.
“We’ll learn more at the meeting next Thursday, but I think placement on this team would really benefit you. They have some unbelievable talent and experience. Let’s not get our hopes up, but I think you’re a shoo-in.”
“I’ll do my best not to,” I respond with a nervous laugh.
Yeah right, consider all of my hopes way the hell up.
“Okay, have a good day, and I’ll see you soon.”
“Thanks, Vic. Goodbye.”
Still holding my gaze in the mirror after I end the call, I let out the squeal I was holding in. I almost don’t recognize the girl looking back at me. I can’t remember the last time that I was this excited about something and actually showed it.
This dream of mine, it’s a major point of contention in my relationship.
Being with someone like Daniel is tough.
He likes everything a specific way. If it doesn’t fit the vision he has in mind for his life, it’s deemed unacceptable and is rejected.
That’s how he feels about my racing career, but it’s the one thing that I won’t budge on.
I’ve put too much time and energy into getting where I am.
Not to mention it’s the one thing in this world that makes me happy.
There is no way that I could give it up and still be sane enough to spend the rest of my life with him.
There was a time that I truly loved Daniel.
The way that a girl loves a boy who takes care of her.
One that supports her. One who loves her unconditionally.
One who doesn’t put her down constantly.
Who doesn’t make her feel like she’s not worthy of the success that she’s worked her whole life for.
One who doesn’t hold her happiness for ransom when life doesn’t go his way.
I know what you’re thinking.
Stop whining and leave him already.
But it’s just not that simple. He was my first kiss, my first love, my first everything.
I’ve loved Daniel for as long as I can remember.
Our fathers were fraternity brothers at Stanford and still remain best friends to this day.
Our families have always done everything together.
He’s two years older than me, but that never mattered to him.
When we were little, I would follow him everywhere he went.
I did whatever he did. Ate whatever he ate. He was my best friend.
I was thirteen the first time he kissed me. He overheard me in our pool house, talking on the phone with one of my friends about my birthday party that night. I was nervous because it was my first co-ed party. What if we played spin-the-bottle, and I had to kiss someone? I’d never done it before.
When I hung up the phone and walked out onto the pool deck, he had a mischievous glimmer in his eye. I asked him why he was looking at me like that, and he pulled me in for a kiss.
“There, now you’ve had some practice,” he said to me.
I felt his lips on mine for the rest of the night.
When I had to kiss Bobby Fletcher later that evening, I pictured myself kissing Daniel instead.
He and I flirted a lot with one another after that, but we never did anything more than kiss.
That is, until three years later when I visited him at college.
The last night I was there, his Fraternity had a party. That was the night everything changed. Daniel made love to me, taking my virginity. He was so gentle and patient with me. He made me feel beautiful, special, like I was the only girl in the world worth his time.
From that moment on, we were together. Our families supported our relationship, even in the early stages when we were way too young to be thinking about marriage.
Daniel and I ending up together was a happy coincidence for them.
Both Daddy and Daniel’s father, Warren, agreed that uniting the Stone and Kramer families would only strengthen the empires that they’ve built separately.
Daniel has always viewed the world a bit differently than me, though. He grew up feeling like he should be catered to because of his status. His father raised him on shallow principals, but I’ve followed in my father’s footsteps and want to work hard to earn everything that I have.
Once upon a time we shared the same dreams and promised each other we would never give up on them. Those dreams are what made us truly happy. Like spending the rest of our lives together. Supporting one another in every aspect no matter what. We were going to take on the world, together.
Now? As much as I love racing and as close as I am to my dream, I’d give it all up if it meant that I’d be free of Daniel.
How’s that for irony?
I watch the sparkle in my eyes fade, thinking about when our relationship started its nose-dive into hell. I press my nails hard into the palms of my hands.
The year that I entered college, Stanford, of course, was the year that the dynamic in our relationship changed.
Daniel was a junior in college and had taken a job at Kramer Enterprises, as he’d been expected to do all of his life. Meanwhile, I was scheduled to move into the dorms.
Until Daniel forbade it.
His declaration came out of nowhere, as if a switch was flipped inside of him, shocking me to my core.
Never before had he explicitly told me what to do or that he wouldn’t allow me to do something.
He explained to me that he was worried about my safety, and he would feel better having me move in with him, where he could keep me protected.
I was seething mad. He was trying to take the college experience that he’d had away from me. I begged my father to let me stay on campus, as we had previously discussed, but Daniel had already filled his head with stories of danger and debauchery. So begrudgingly, I moved in with Daniel.
That was the moment I went from feeling secure in my relationship to walking on eggshells around Daniel.
When his touch no longer ignited the lust inside of me and instead made me cringe.
I began to search for the old Daniel, but every time I would mention how he’d changed, it was as if I peeled away another layer, revealing more of his evil within.
Once the semester began, I dove headfirst into my studies, not doing much of anything else except racing.
Daniel would come home from work to find me with my nose in one of my textbooks and say things to me like, “You don’t need a degree,” or, “You don’t need a job, I’ll take care of you.
” I explained that I wanted to prove myself, but that was met with, “You’re the boss’s future daughter-in-law.
You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone. ”
I knew I wanted to go into design and marketing, originally intending to work for Kramer Enterprises.
However, from that moment on, I was determined to make it on my own in that industry.
The last thing I would do was take a handout, if for nothing other than for my own sense of worth.
I put my foot down with my father and was adamant that I would find my own way.
Finally, he got off my back about it. Eventually, Warren and Daniel left me alone about it too.
My phone beeps when the reminder for this morning’s meeting goes off, clearing the recollections of my past from my mind. When I glance at my phone, I realize that I’ve been standing here for fifteen minutes.
Damn it!
I’m officially late for work. I take a deep breath and try to calm the weight of dread that builds within me every time I think about Daniel. Grabbing my makeup bag, I begin to set my mask for the day. As I finish getting ready, I replay my phone call with Vic in my mind.
I have a meeting next week to determine if I’ve finally turned my dream into a reality.
A flurry of butterflies race through my stomach.
It’s all the motivation I need to pick my spirits back up and make today count.
I make a quick stop in the kitchen on my way out the door to grab my coffee and an apple.
Today is going to be a great day.