Eleven
SAWYER
It’s been a few days since the incident at the office, and I haven’t seen or spoken to Jackson since.
Thankfully, he hasn’t continued calling or messaging since Daniel hasn’t left my side.
I was waiting for him to try and tell me that he doesn’t want me racing anymore, but he didn’t.
I don’t know why, but I’m not dumb enough to question it.
Just dumb enough to stay with him.
My sister’s voice echoes through my head, but I push it away. I can’t deal with that stress right now. This is one of the last practices I have until my first race, and that’s the only stress I can handle at the moment.
Standing next to my car on Pit Road, I look it over. I’ve got my racing suit on my bottom half, with the arms tied around my waist until I’m ready to get in my car. It gets hot in these things, even in cooler weather like this. We’re all waiting for Jackson to arrive before we get started.
My teammates are huddled together, shooting the shit and leaving me out of their discussion, as usual.
It’s starting to get easier, though, the longer it goes on.
What Charlie said to me the other day comes back: They’re my teammates, but we’re racing against one another.
Between that and not needing to get into another disagreement with Daniel, it’s better off that we remain distanced from one another.
“Sawyer.”
Speaking of needing to distance myself, the sound of Jackson’s voice startles me. I wasn’t expecting him to be right behind me. And I’m not ready for this conversation.
Turning to him, I smile as though the events of the other day never happened.
“Jackson, hi,” I grin at him.
“Are you alright?” he asks me.
He looks like he’s been through hell, and seeing his worry pains me, assuming it’s my fault. I could have sent him a text, letting him know I was okay, but I didn’t. I look at him like I don’t know what he’s talking about. A look that I’ve mastered over the years thanks to Daniel.
“I’m nervous for my first race, but other than that I’m fine.”
Jackson isn’t easily fooled. He regards me with questioning eyes, telling me he knows I’m full of shit.
I can sense that he wants to say more, so I pray he leaves it alone.
He cranes his neck so we’re eye to eye and places his hands on my biceps.
Before I’m able to stop myself, I wince at his touch just as he opens his mouth to say something.
His stare turns cold.
“Did he put his hands on you?”
“What?” I scoff. “No, I worked out extra hard in the gym yesterday. My muscles are a little sore.”
“Sawyer,” he counters, but I barely hear it as my attention is pulled to the stands by a tall figure in a black pea coat.
Daniel is here.
Jackson’s head turns as he follows my stare. With ice in his glare, he turns toward the stands.
“Jackson, I’m begging you to leave it alone,” I grind out through my teeth while trying to maintain a smile to make it look like I’m not speaking.
Thankfully, something in my tone stops him, and he turns back to face me.
“This conversation isn’t over.”
I nod and swallow, anxiety thick in my throat.
“Gather around, team,” Jackson shouts.
The rest of my team joins us, and we wait for Jackson to speak.
“Okay, this is our last practice before the first race. We’re lucky that the season kicks off here at home, so we have an advantage. We know every turn on this track like the back of our hands, and we’re going to use that to our favor. Right?”
“Right,” Ryder agrees.
No one else says anything, but I see Nate nod his head.
“Alright, finish getting suited up, and let’s have a great practice,” Jackson commands.
He lifts his hands to give each of the guys a high-five, ending with me. I watch as Robby, Nate, Tim, and Ryder high-five one another. When Ryder includes me in this round, I’m a little surprised, but I try not to let it show.
I take it as a small victory and let the fact that he was the only one roll off my back. I have no time or room in my life to let that kind of negativity in.
Today’s practice went really well. I managed to get in front of Robby right at the end, which was huge. I’ve come close to passing each of the guys before today, but I’ve never been able to pull it off. Jackson waves a red flag, letting us know practice is over and to park our cars in the garage.
“Looks like you might have some competition, Robby,” Nate quips when his helmet is off.
I almost don’t believe my ears when I hear it. He hasn’t been outwardly mean to me, but he’s never gone out of his way to accept or include me before, either. Though I suppose it’s more him giving Robby shit than it is him being nice to me.
“Fuck off, it was one race. She won’t be so lucky next time,” Robby looks at me with a scowl.
“Who said it had anything to do with luck?” I speak up, surprising even myself. I didn’t mean to say it out loud.
“Oooooh!” Nate and Tim laugh at once.
“Watch out,” Nate warns, “Sawyer’s burning you on and off the track now.”
Although I’m thoroughly confused by their sudden change of heart, I take advantage of their inclusion of me and go with it.
Nate pats me on the back as he and Tim walk past me, and the hair on the back of my neck stands up, instantly.
It’s like my body knows Daniel is watching even when my mind has forgotten he’s nearby.
I turn to look for him, but he’s no longer in the stands.
Something tells me he’s still around here somewhere, though, lurking.
No more is said. It’s not like I was picturing my teammates and I skipping out of here like best friends, but I was left wishing there was more conversation between us. I don’t know what else I should have expected, but I look at today as progress.
As I start walking toward my car parked on the other side of the garage, I hear hushed voices talking from behind me.
I look back and see that Jackson and Robby are talking about something.
Hoping it doesn’t have anything to do with me, I round the corner of the garage and am startled when I see Daniel standing there.
“Oh!” I gasp, my hand flying to my chest. “Daniel, you scared me.”
I notice Nate and Tim up ahead, both having turned their attention to me when they heard my surprise. I try to wave them off and let them know I’m okay, but they stay where they are and stare.
“I saw you earlier, before practice.”
Daniel is angry because Jackson put his hands on me. Fuck. I don’t know what to say, so I just look at him.
“In your little huddle.”
I wait for him to tell me that he saw me flirting with my teammates. He may not have been wrong about the sexual tension between Jackson and I, but he sure as hell didn’t witness anything inappropriate between me and the other guys.
“Your teammates don’t appear to like you very much. In fact, they don’t seem to want you here at all.”
Oh.
His eyes shoot toward Nate and Tim who, unfortunately, are still standing there, bearing witness to our exchange. I feel the heat of embarrassment flood my cheeks.
“It’s because they know what I know.” Daniel waves his hand in their direction. “You’re not cut out for this, Sawyer. It’s time you put this silly pipe dream to rest.”
Why did they have to stop walking? I could have handled this if there wasn’t an audience. Daniel knew what he was doing. He made sure to do this where he knew there would be witnesses. He figures he can embarrass me into quitting, but he’s wrong.
I can feel the anger in me rise. Had it not been for the slight show of support from Nate moments ago, I don’t know if I’d have the guts to say what I do next, but in this moment, I feel empowered.
“You’re wrong. And I’m not quitting.” That’s all I can muster, but it’s enough.
With his vicious stare, Daniel backs me into the garage door behind me.
“Sawyer, are you okay?” Nate calls out.
“God damn it, who asked you?” Daniel roars, turning his head toward Nate.
Angry that Nate came to my defense, Daniel’s fist pounds the garage door so hard, a small dent is left behind. I’m not shocked by his behavior, but I’m shocked by the fact that he let it out in front of someone else. This isn’t the way Daniel operates. He must always be the picture of perfection.
JACKSON
“I need to catch up with Sawyer, let’s walk and talk.”
Robby rolls his eyes and scoffs.
“Look, I know you don’t like her, but I’ve already told you. She is a member of this team now, so get used to it or get out.”
He’s angry that Sawyer could out-drive him today. In all honesty, I knew it was going to happen. He’s a skilled driver, but his ego impedes on his performance. When he doesn’t answer, I continue.
“I told you before, you need to—”
Just before we turn the corner, I hear a shout followed by a loud noise.
“What was that?”
I break into a jog and hurry around to the back of the garage where we all park our personal vehicles. That’s when I see him. That stupid motherfucker is in Sawyer’s face.
“Hey!” I shout at Daniel. “Get the fuck out of here!”
I lunge toward them, pushing Daniel away from Sawyer. I’m gearing up to pummel him into the ground, but Sawyer steps into my path, and I feel Robby grab onto my shirt from behind me.
“Jackson, no!” she screams.
Fury paints my vision, and I can’t believe that she could break through it enough to get my attention. Thankfully she does, because I could have fucking killed this asshole.
“Are you alright?” I turn my attention to her. “Did he touch you again?”
“No!” She bellows like my question is absurd. “He hasn’t touched me at all.”
I’m about to ask her why she’s yelling when it hits me.
I fucked up. I know he put his hands on her even though she never said the words.
But he’s going to think she did. She looks around at all of us—Nate, Tim, Ryder, Robby, and me—and I can tell she’s embarrassed.
I try to think of something I can say to fix my mistake, but the only thing that comes to mind is to take her back to my penthouse and never let him near her again.
What am I saying?
Other than these few instances, I know nothing about their relationship.
Is it ridiculous to think that she would come with me, just like that?
She may not even want to leave him. Maybe they’re one of those explosive couples who have no business being together, but for some reason can’t seem to live without one another.
No, I’m sure that’s not the case. What I know is that I care about her, and I need to tread lightly.
“Okay,” I concede, dismissing my own claims.
“Sawyer, let’s go,” the asshole barks.
I lock my eyes on hers as she stands there, not moving.
“Now,” Daniel orders her.
My eyes plead for her to stay as hers plead for me to understand that she can’t. I want to go to her, tell her she needs to leave this piece of shit. Finally, they walk to her car.
“Where is your car?” I hear her ask him. “I’ll drive you to it.”
They both get in, and I watch as Sawyer peels out of the parking lot and disappears from view.