Four
DAVID
AFTER
Celebrating Yule is our thing. For the last eighteen years, we have celebrated the earth’s calendar holiday and practically ignored the commercial events that everyone else raves about. Our gifts are all custom made, always personal and full of love or humor or both.
When I first met Lisa, it felt like the world had shifted, like my feet were no longer grounded to the earth by gravity, but by the sheer will of her gaze upon me.
Everything I thought I knew disintegrated when she gifted me her smiles.
But when she saw me beating the fuck out of that scumbag, Nikos, then tried to find ways of helping me hide the body, I just knew.
I would have her, I would keep her. I would make her mine because, over the course of that thirty-second conversation, I was already hers and nothing could possibly stop me.
“Is it bad that I don’t hate this dress?” I chuckle at River’s words, the guilt of not wearing one-hundred-percent cotton and liking it rings through every one of her syllables.
“We do what we can with what we have. There’s no shame in that.” Fuck, I love my wife. She always knows what to say. To me, to the kids, to our chosen family living on our land.
“We borrowed it, Ladybug, so we haven’t created more waste, we’ve recycled. No guilt for anyone,” I add, hoping to appease my baby girl.
“That’s true.” I give a quick glance in the rearview, seeing River contemplating the ride out to my parents’ insanely wasteful mountain of a home in the Upper East Side. “Will I know anyone there?” Our eyes meet in the mirror, her gaze intense, as if she’s trying to read my thoughts.
“Probably not. To be honest, I don’t think I’ll know most of the people there except for some of my old college acquaintances.” Next to me, Lisa snort-laughs. River is too deep in thought to notice, but I do, and I know exactly why.
Nikos fucking Kastellanos.
“Be nice.” I side-eye my wife, all the while keeping my attention on the road.
“I’m always nice, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Her words belie her attempt to hold in a laugh. This woman is pure. Her laughter, her kindness, the overflowing love in her heart…all pure to the core just like my love for her.
“Some stories are best left behind. Way, way behind.” I reach out as she chuckles and take her delicate hand in mine, squeezing just enough to remind her of my overwhelming feelings for her.
After braving the slick roads and unbearable New York traffic, none of which I miss in the least, we pull up to the gate where a guard stands ready to check our identities against the list of names on his clipboard.
I don’t need to roll my window down to know it’s freezing outside, all I have to do is look at his thick coat and pink cheeks.
“Good evening, sir. I need your name, please.” He eyes our ten-year-old car—one side all scratched up from where River once tried to sneak out but misread the distance between the oak tree at the entrance of our property and the vehicle—like it’s a piece of shit stuck to the bottom of his shoe.
“David Fox.” I’m almost hoping my name won’t be on that list.
“Party of three?” He bends at the waist and checks that there are only three of us, like maybe we’d brought an intruder along for the ride.
Fuck, I really hate this whole side of my existence, and every day I thank Lisa for saving me.
There’s a reason we’ve kept this part of my life away from my made family.
“Yes.” I really was hoping we weren’t on that list.
The gate opens and the guard throws out a, “Have a good evening” at us, and I swear I hear the chattering of his teeth as he does.
“That’s…a lot.” River is staring at the property as a valet comes up to us, instructing me to stop and let him in the car.
“Remember the first time you brought me here?” Lisa is looking at the entrance, a hint of sadness seeping into her voice as we all step out of the car. The valet takes the keys as though they’re filthy and gives me a polite but pinched smile.
Sorry, man. I may have been born into this but I stepped out as fast as I could.
“Yeah, baby, I remember. I also remember”—I place my hand on the small of her back and pull her into me so our mouths are just a breath apart before reminding her of the best decision we ever made—“that we left it all behind that night and created our own corner of Utopia.” She smiles and my heart swells from the beauty of her.
The innocence that always shines through is something the kids inherited from her and I couldn’t be happier about it.
Lisa takes River’s hand and we enter the lion’s den as a united front.