Briar
“Let’s make this game of beer pong interesting,” Nick says.
He’s shed his suit jacket and is pouring beer into all the red Solo cups lining the table.
“If you make your shot into the cup, you get to ask your opponents an embarrassing question. If they don’t want to answer, they have to take a drink from one of their cups. Whoever empties their cups first loses.”
“So like, beer pong truth or dare?” Leo says.
Nick nods. “Exactly.”
We flip a coin to see who shoots first. Nick and Leo win, so Nick tosses a ball. It lands in one of our cups.
He pumps a question. “Okay, team Blake and Briar. How old were you when you lost your virginity?”
My eyes go wide. Wait…are all the questions in the game going to be this…intimate?
I glance up at Blake to see his reaction, if he’s as shocked as I am. But he’s smiling and rolling his eyes. Like he expected Nick to ask this.
“Wow, dude. Real personal stuff you’re asking,” Blake jokes.
“Answer it or drink,” Nick says with a smug look on his face.
“I was sixteen,” Blake answers smoothly.
“Same,” Leo says. He and Blake high-five.
Everyone looks at me, waiting for me to answer. It feels like my entire face is on fire. Crap. I’m going to sound like such a freak if I admit that I’ve never had sex.
“Um…I’ll drink,” I stammer. I grab a cup and drink half the beer in it.
Nick just chuckles. “Briar doesn’t kiss and tell. I respect that.”
I try to laugh it off, but I’m so caught off guard that I sound like I’m choking.
Thankfully, no one seems to pick up on how painfully awkward I am in this moment. They’re all too busy laughing and joking with each other.
I silently tell myself to play it cool. This is the perfect opportunity to show Blake that I can be fun and flirty and roll with the punches.
“Don’t worry. We’ll get him back,” Blake says right before sinking a shot into one of Nick and Leo’s beer cups.
He looks at Nick. “What’s the capital of Kentucky?” he asks.
Nick’s face falls. “Dude? What the hell kind of question is that?”
Blake just grins. “You said we can ask any question we want. So I did. Now answer it.”
Nick groans. “The capital of Kentucky? Seriously?”
Just then, Anna walks past our game on her way to the kitchen, laughing. “No way will he know the answer to that.”
Nick shakes his head. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, sis.”
“It’s not my fault you’re an idiot,” she hollers from the kitchen. “I mean that with love.”
Nick chuckles and shakes his head. “She’s right. I’m an idiot, and I have no idea.”
Blake looks at Leo. “Wanna give it a shot?”
“Lexington?” Leo says.
Blake just laughs. “Nope. Drink up, boys.”
They both groan and drain two cups of beer. Blake high-fives me, and I smile.
Leo shoots his ball, and it lands in one of our cups.
“What’s your body count?” Leo asks Blake.
For a second, I’m confused. That can’t mean what I think that means. How many people have we killed?
“Jesus,” Blake says through a laugh. “You really wanna know how many women I’ve slept with?”
Oh. I guess that makes more sense.
“Answer or drink,” Leo says.
That anxious feeling inside of me gears up. He’s going to ask me that too.
Blakes sighs. “Eleven.”
Before they even look at me, I’m drinking half the beer in the glass. No way am I answering that.
I can picture it now: I reveal that I’m a virgin with my big, fat zero body count. Everyone stops laughing and stares at me like I’m a freak.
Because really, most college students my age have had sex.
And the one time I almost had sex, it was one of the worst experiences of my life…
That panicked feeling inside of me intensifies. I take a slow, steady breath and sip more beer.
“You okay?” Blake asks me.
I try to smile. Be flirty and fun and cool. “Yeah, I’m good.”
“If this is too much, I can tell them to tone down the questions.” He says quietly, so only I can hear. I don’t miss the flash of concern in his eyes.
I soften at how he’s looking out for me. But I don’t want to be treated any differently. Being here at Hollis is my fresh start after being treated like an outcast in Chicago after what happened with Logan.
If I did admit the truth and say that I’ve slept with exactly zero people, I’m sure Blake’s teammates would try to be nice about it, but the vibe would be off.
I just want to be normal. I want to be like everyone else in this room—a carefree college kid who just wants to let loose and play a fun drinking game.
And I don’t want to lose the flirty vibe that Blake and I have had this entire night when he finds out that I’m a virgin.
Because yeah, Blake’s a sweetheart. I know he wouldn’t be mean or make fun of me. He’d never do anything like that.
But nothing kills the vibe between two people who have been flirting more than when one of them reveals that they have zero experience in the bedroom.
I flash a thumbs-up at Blake and smile again. “I’m having fun. Really.”
Blake studies me, an unsure look on his face.
I give his arm a playful squeeze. “I promise.”
It’s our turn to take a shot. Blake sinks it and asks the next question.
“Who was the first American to travel into space?”
Nick groans. Leo rolls his eyes.
“I didn’t know you were going to quiz us on American history,” Nick grumbles.
“Can’t help it. I’ve been watching Poppy’s YouTube videos a lot lately, and I’m on a history kick,” Blake says.
Nick grins at Poppy, who’s in the kitchen with Anna, making Jello shots. “My girl is crazy smart, isn’t she?”
He winks at her before downing the beer in the cup. Leo sinks a shot into one of our cups.
“Okay, Blakey boy. What’s your favorite position in bed?” Nick asks.
Leo chuckles.
“Her sitting on my lap, riding me,” Blake says, his voice on the edge of hard. Wow. That’s…interesting to know that’s his favorite position. It’s so…specific.
“Nice,” Nick says to Blake before looking at me.
The heat of embarrassment slides up my neck and cheeks. Crap. He’s expecting me to answer now.
“Um, I…” I stumble as I try to think of something to say. I could just say missionary, but would that be believable? That’s so boring, right?
I down another cup of beer. The second I swallow, I start to feel dizzy, and my stomach starts to churn.
Nick laughs. “I admire your refusal to kiss and tell, Briar,” he says good-naturedly.
“Hey. Maybe you should slow down on the beer,” Blake says in a soft voice.
I look up at him. “It’s fine.”
His eyebrows knit in concern. “You sure? Your skin is pretty flushed. That only happens when you’ve been drinking a lot.”
I push my hair out of my face. I’m feeling hot and sweaty all of a sudden.
“I’m okay, Blake. Really.”
“Briar, you take a shot now,” Nick says.
I toss the ball, but because I have zero hand-eye coordination, the ball bounces off the rim of the red solo cup and goes flying off the table.
“Good try,” Nick says.
Leo makes the next shot.
“What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without having sex?” Leo asks.
Blake rolls his eyes. “Six months.”
“Jesus, really? Such a boy scout.”
Blake flips him off. Leo and Nick just laugh. They look at me, waiting for me to answer.
“Um, a couple years,” I say, feeling dizzy from all the beer I’ve chugged in the last few minutes. And from how out of place I feel playing a sex-themed drinking game as a virgin.
“Oh come on, you gotta give us a number,” Nick teases.
It feels like a million tiny, invisible needles are digging into my skin. God, this is so uncomfortable. I’m so fucking weird and awkward compared to these guys.
My chest feels tight, and my stomach starts to churn. My head spins. “I…I need air.”
I stumble out of the crowded house and down the porch stairs, almost tripping on the sidewalk because I’m still wearing these sky-high heels.
“Briar, wait.”
Blake’s booming voice follows behind me.
I spin around and see him rushing after me. Worry is etched in his frown as he gazes down at me.
Gently, he grabs my shoulders. “What’s wrong?” His eyes scan my face.
Tears prick my eyes at how embarrassed I am—how I can’t even play a stupid drinking game because I’m painfully awkward and inexperienced.
I sniffle. “Nothing.”
“Briar, please don’t lie. You’re upset. What’s wrong? What happened?” His voice is so gentle and sweet, it makes my chest ache.
I could lie to him. I could tell him that I just don’t feel well from all the beer I drank or that the food I ate at dinner is upsetting my stomach…
But I can’t. I can’t look at my best friend in the eye and lie to him. Not when he’s been so sweet and kind to me.
I have to tell him the truth. I have to tell him why I was so uncomfortable that I walked off in the middle of a drinking game with his friends.
“It’s just…That game we were playing…It made me uncomfortable.”
He exhales sharply and shakes his head. “I knew it. Nick and Leo were being such assholes—”
“No, Blake. It’s not their fault. It’s all on me. I…” I take a breath. “I’m a virgin.”
Blake’s brow hits his hairline. “Wait, seriously?”
That flirty tension that’s been building between us this entire night disappears in an instant. Blake stares at me, his eyes big, broadcasting his shock like an emergency beacon.
That hot, embarrassed feeling roasts me from the inside out. No more Blake thinking I’m a flirty little vixen. Now he knows exactly how lame and inexperienced I am.
“I’m serious. I’m a virgin. Which explains why I was so painfully awkward trying to play that drinking game with you and Nick and Leo.”
“Why didn’t you say something?”
I let out a sad laugh. “Blake, come on. That would have ruined the vibe. ‘Sorry, guys. Can we play something else? I’ve never had sex before. Maybe we can play checkers or Monopoly instead?’ That would have been so pathetic. They would have looked at me like I was a freak.”
“Briar, no. They like you. They wouldn’t have said that.”
I sigh and wipe my nose with the back of my wrist. “I just wanted to play along. Feel normal for once.”
I stare down at my shoes for a long moment, listening to the music blasting from inside the house. When I look up at Blake, he’s gazing down at me, a pitying look on his face.
That lustful look in his eyes earlier tonight when we were being playful and teasing? Long gone.
And that’s when I know: We’ll never be anything other than friends.
Because he’s a hot, popular hockey player who’s been with tons of beautiful women.
And I’m his awkward best friend who’s inexperienced in every way.
He could have any girl he wants. Why would he choose an awkward virgin like me?
I cross my arms over my chest. “Sorry I ruined the night,” I say as I walk back up the porch steps.
“Briar, hang on.”
I can’t bear another pitying look from Blake. I can’t bear more well-meaning words of comfort.
Not after the night we had. Not after getting this close to being more than friends, then blowing it.
I don’t turn around. I don’t answer him.
I walk back in the house, go upstairs, and go to bed.