Chapter 17
Tristan
I didn’t know what to do with myself yesterday after Dad’s appointment
I took a long walk around Noe Valley, but was so exhausted I couldn’t get any real thinking done.
Finally, I took an Uber home, went in through the back door, and managed to avoid Dad and Bobbie. I slept until dinnertime, then joined Chasten for dinner and drinks at a local bar. I didn’t want to be at home any more than I had to.
I know that Dad didn’t mean to hurt me with his words, but he did. I really am just trying to help, but maybe Bobbie had a point. Maybe the help I want to give isn’t the help Dad needs.
It’s a brutal problem when the way you’re able to love someone doesn’t align with the way they need to be loved.
I put on a brave face when I get to work.
I learned during nursing that whatever baggage I have outside of work needs to stay there. I have to be fully present at my job. It deserves all of me. My own stuff can wait.
“Ready for another day?” Vinnie asks me when I’m in the locker room, changing from my street clothes into my station uniform.
“I better be.”
“Don’t worry, you’ve been doing great.”
“I’m not used to these twenty-four-hour shifts, yet,” I admit.
“They’re the fucking worst when you first start. But you’ll get used to them. You were a nurse, before, right?”
“Yeah.”
“How long were those shifts?”
“Ten hours, sometimes twelve.”
“At least here we get to sleep.”
“I guess so.”
I like Vinnie. He’s a straight-talker with a good sense of humor. If I had to guess, I’d say he’s in his mid-thirties. He’s handsome, too, with short dark hair and a well-trimmed beard. Not my type, but I already have one work crush I’m trying to ignore. I don’t need another.
I also get the sense that Vinnie’s the sort of guy who knows everything about everyone and is more than willing to share it all.
“So,” I say, as I lace my boots. “I’m new here—”
“Great observation.” He grins.
“Thanks, I’m really bright like that.”
“Uh-huh. Sorry, keep going.”
“I’m just curious about the people here. Not like gossip or anything. Just what do you think I need to know?”
“The inside scoop, huh?”
“Exactly.”
He sits across from me on another bench.
“Hm. Well, Cap is great. She can be tough, but she’s fair, and she’s the best at her job. Charlie can be a goofball, but so can I. You know he was training for the Marines before this?”
“Really?”
“Yep. Mila might seem a little prickly at first, but she’s got a heart of gold. And she drives that truck like she’s auditioning for Fast and Furious.”
“What about Nick?”
He raises his eyebrows. “Nick is a bit of a mystery, honestly. He keeps to himself a lot. He’s a family man, you know? Likes to spend time with his daughter.”
If I were drinking something, I’d do a spit take. “His what.”
“Daughter. Didn’t you know? He’s got a kid, she’s great.
I’m sure you’ll meet her sometime. He brings her around every now and then, when we’re doing a fundraiser or something, or a holiday party.
Every year, her class comes here for a field trip, and we do a fire safety lesson. The kids eat it up.”
My mind is spinning.
Nick is a father? Is he married? Is he straight?
Of course, I know that having a kid doesn’t automatically make a man married or straight, but it significantly increases the chances.
I try to keep my voice as nonchalant as possible. “Is he married?”
“Nah. Single dad life. I don’t know how he does it, honestly. I could never.”
“No kids?” I ask.
“Nah. Maybe someday.” Vinnie shrugs. “I was engaged a few years back, and she wanted kids.”
He trails off, and I sense that there’s more to the story, but I don’t want to pry. He’s already given me more information than I expected.
“What about you?” Vinnie asks, turning the questions back on me. “You got someone? Partner, kids?”
“Oh, god no. I’m only twenty-eight. I’d be a goddamn child bride.”
Vinnie laughs heartily. “I get it, man. I’m thirty-six, and I’m just now figuring shit out and wondering if marriage is right for me.” He offers a lopsided smile. “Glad you’re a part of the Station 27 fam, bro. I think you’re gonna like it, here.”
When he leaves the locker room, I’m still thinking about the bomb he dropped. Nick has a kid. A kid. He’s a father.
As if I needed another strike against my unwitting crush on him.
We haven’t texted at all since our last shift, and I haven’t seen him yet today.
I wonder if he spent yesterday with his daughter. I wonder what she does when he has a twenty-four-hour shift? Does she stay with his parents? Are his parents living? Or what about her mother? Is she in the picture? Does she know that Nick frequents fetish clubs?
Obviously, all of that is extremely personal information, none of which I’m entitled to know, but I am curious. Exhaustively so. I’m hungry for information about Nick. I’m hungry for him. If I can’t know him—you know, like, in a Biblical sense—I want to know everything else about him.
Even if it’s torture. I want to know him.