CHAPTER THREE
B ella looked like she was about to hurl, and Luke couldn’t blame her. He felt like hurling too. This was some seriously messed up shit. A goddamn real-life horror show. One he was struggling to get his head around.
Turning Bella’s hand until her palm was facing upward, he laced their fingers together and gave her another squeeze. What he was dying to do was pull her into his arms. Hold her tight. Tell her everything was going to be okay. But that was just freaking crazy. He’d known the woman five minutes and his screwed-up brain was acting like she was his. He didn’t even want to think about what his body was doing.
Then something she said clicked. “You said Marco was prey ... how so? Why would this guy go after him?”
Those beautiful bright eyes shot open and were back on him. “Marco was gay. That’s why he was killed.”
What the fucking fuck?
Every muscle in Luke’s body tightened, even the one gripping Bella’s hand. “W-what?”
“He was gay,” she repeated, eyeing him warily.
The anger burning his insides was making it hard to breathe. “You’re saying some fucker hunted Marco down and fucking killed him ’cause of his goddamn sexuality?”
She gave him a solemn nod as moisture pooled in her silver eyes. The sight alone was enough to simmer his rage. It also made him want to listen to his instincts and pull her into his hold. But he held back.
“Please fucking tell me they caught the guy.”
Okay. Maybe the rage is still seething.
It was her turn to squeeze his hand, offering him something he wasn’t used to. “They caught him. I had access to Marco’s computer. He’d been corresponding with the guy for months, and Marco kept everything. It took a few weeks, but eventually they managed to track the guy down through an IP address.”
Thank God for that. That was something at least. And saved Luke from a murder charge of his own.
Lock that shit down.
Emotion was off-limits. It always had been, and it always would be. That Pandora’s box was sealed shut, and not even Marco could pry it open. No, instead, Luke would bury today with all the other crap life had thrown his way. At least that was the plan. Until he got a look at the despair dripping down Bella’s cheeks.
Without thinking, he tugged on her hand until she fell forward. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close and holding her tight as she melted into him.
Luke was not a hugger. Never had been. On the rare occasion he’d been forced to hug another person, it had been awkward at best. Even after sex, he didn’t hug. He got the hell out of there and never looked back. So, to hug someone now, of his own accord, was batshit freaking crazy. The fact that he was enjoying every second of it too, made him wonder if hell had frozen over.
What on earth was it about this woman that had him in knots? Made him question what he wanted?
It’s just ’cause she’s hot. That has to be it. I wanna sleep with her, that’s all. End of story.
But when those dainty fingers curled around him and flexed over his back muscles, he was starting to wonder if it was just the beginning.
By the time she pulled back, his mental tug-of-war was far from over.
“I see you, Luke Cappelli.” She looked so deep into him, for a moment, he believed her. “You may have built those bricks around you high, but there is more than one way through a wall.”
Who the fuck is this girl?
If there was a wall, then she sure knew how to activate its defences. Denial was his weapon of choice.
“This ain’t an after-school special, darlin’—one hug doesn’t mean you know me. Far from it. Trust me when I tell you a pretty girl rubbing against me is no hardship. I’ve got something else you can rub against too if you want?”
Wow. You really just said that, huh?
There was no taking it back now anyway, so he might as well just go with it. Back to being a bastard. A persona he was comfortable with. It had nothing at all to do with what Bella saw in him. Nope. None whatsoever.
He didn’t know what he expected her reaction to be. Offended. Embarrassed. God knows he deserved a slap. But her lips tilting up to one side was not it. Flashing him a crooked smile that made her look even more like the fallen angel she was.
“And what exactly did you want me to rub up against, Cappelli?” She must be calling his bluff. Surely?
“Oh, darlin’, if you don’t know ... then I’m more than happy to show you.” Never one to shy away from a challenge, he leaned back into the leather, his legs dropping open.
He’d underestimated her though. He realized that as soon as she rose, only to drop back down onto his lap, her legs going wide as she straddled him and laid her hands atop his shoulders.
“By all means ... show me.” That devilish glint in her eye was enough to make him gulp.
This was going to get embarrassing real quick. There are certain things a man cannot hide when a hot as fuck woman sits right on it.
“Angel,” he practically growled at her, “you better make a decision real fast ’cause once you climb on, I expect you to stay for the whole damn ride.”
She did not give two shits about his new predicament. It only seemed to spur her on more, moving that sexy ass in his lap until spots behind his eyes started to appear. But it wasn’t that which made him want to beg for mercy, no, it was when her head dipped and those red lips drifted over his mouth. Careful not to touch him. Instead, she teased. Whiskey-flavored sugar so close he could taste it.
“Let me guess ... this ride of yours is guaranteed to make me scream?”
“Damn fucking right it is.” His hands went to her waist, hauling her closer.
A moment later, he felt the vibration of her hum against his lips, forcing his breathing to pick up. If she carried on like this, he’d be hyperventilating in no time.
He tried to think back to the last time he wanted a woman so badly. And he came up blank. The answer was never. He’d never wanted a woman as badly as he wanted this one.
It wasn’t because he needed sex either, which, coincidently, he did. All the anger, unfairness, and regret had to go somewhere. And as far as outlets go, sex had always been a damn fine option. But it was more than that this time. Bella was more than that.
All the more reason to stop right fucking now.
He couldn’t even if he wanted to. Especially when those sexy lips dragged up his jawline, grazing his stubble and filling his stomach with fire. When they reached his ear, he felt goosebumps immediately break out across his exposed skin as her breath hit.
“What if I want to make you scream, Cappelli?” Did he actually just quiver? The tip of her tongue traced the shell of his ear. He was dangerously close to begging now. For what though, he still wasn’t sure. “Such a shame you’re not ready for me.” What? Like hell I’m not. “Not ready for me to run my tongue over every inch of this body, until it’s my name you’re screaming. Over. And over. And over again.”
Jesus H. Christ.
Her hips rocked, and those naughty teeth nipped hard enough to wrench a groan from the depths of his soul.
“I beg to differ, darlin’. You wanna make me scream? You go on right ahead.” He had a feeling it wouldn’t take long.
Just as he was ready to throw her down and teach that mouth of hers a lesson, he lost her. Her teeth unclasped his abused lobe, her hot body was no longer warming his lap, and her sexy as fuck eyes flared from a new position. Above. Standing next to the couch and looking down.
“Read the letter, Luke.” The familiar piece of paper was pulled from her pocket and tossed onto the table. “My number’s on the back. Call me when you’re ready to stop playing games.”
Before he’d had a chance to reply, or even compose himself, she gave him her back—a fine back it was at that—and swayed those hips right on out of his door.
What the hell just happened?
***
I t was several hours before Luke did in fact read the letter his brother had left him. And when he did, he couldn’t believe what he was reading. So much so, he read it again. And again. And then one more time.
Now he was parked up at the Evans ranch trying to figure out why he’d driven all the way out there. Why his first instinct had been to go to her. She was dangerous. This afternoon had proved that.
Sexual attraction he could handle, the other feelings she was stirring up, however, were another story. It was way out of his comfort zone. And what scared him most, was he had no idea how she’d managed to elicit such a reaction.
She may have thought he was playing games, but he wasn’t. He didn’t want to want her. He just didn’t know how not to. Which was bad enough. But the ultimate head fuck was that it wasn’t just his body that craved her. For the first time in his life, he needed more than just the physical. Sure, stripping her naked and taking her sounded like a good time, but discovering more about who she was, what she liked, and who she loved sounded a hell of a lot better.
What the hell is wrong with you, man? You stumble into a Hallmark fucking film or something?
He was cracking up. Clearly.
It’s the shock. Grief. The guilt. Marco’s gone.
Yes. That was it. He nodded to himself. That had to be it. Hearing Marco’s name, learning he’d been murdered, reading his letter, all of it. It had messed with his head. Brought up old wounds that had corrupted the attraction he was feeling for this woman.
He'd decided long ago relationships were not for him. And Bella ... well, he knew from the very first time she shut down the crap he liked to pull, she wasn’t the kind of woman you don’t walk away from. She’s the type you want in your bed every night. To wake up to every day. And who deserved more than what he could give her.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself and make a damn decision.
Right. He needed to get his act together. Fast.
“Fuck it.” Creaking open his car door, he pushed out and let his boots crunch the gravel.
He needed answers. That’s why he was there. At least that was what he told himself as he stomped down toward the guest cabins, huffing and puffing as he went.
This is not how I expected to be spending my evening.
Night had fallen a while ago, the last of the light long filtered from the sky. Making it hard to see. He supposed he could pull his phone out if he got desperate. For now, he would stick to the path Wade had carved out.
A few minutes later, an orange glow was in sight, illuminating a small wooden cabin. The only one in a row of five that was lit up.
Bella.
It only took one knock, and the door was swung wide.
She was wearing far less than he was prepared for. Tiny peach-colored silk shorts and a matching camisole.
Jesus Christ, she’s not wearing a bra. Why does God fucking hate me?
It was something she seemed to notice at the same time as him, as she quickly crossed her arms over her chest, giving him time to put his tongue back in his head.
“Uh ...” She seemed just as tongue-tied for a second, before fixing her face and narrowing those piercing eyes on him. “I thought I told you to call?”
Nice to know her sass was still firmly in place, pajamas on or not.
“Yeah. I didn’t want to,” he grunted out.
“Oh, well, that clears that up,” she mocked, rolling her eyes and taking a step back so he could enter. “I’m gonna go put ... I’ll be back in a minute, okay?”
Bella scurried into the bedroom and shut the door, leaving Luke standing in the cabin’s main room. A living slash dining room slash kitchen. Small but cozy. Deciding to take a seat on the equally small fabric couch, he dropped his head back against the cushion and let his eyes shut.
You’re doing the right thing. You need to know.
When Bella re-entered, he noticed that she was still wearing the shorts, but the vest had been replaced with an oversized band T-shirt. She also happened to be wearing a bra now. Not that he was looking.
“Do you want a drink? I guess it’s a bit late for coffee ... Oh! I could make us some hot cocoa?” Just the idea of hot cocoa seemed to light her up. She was practically bouncing. So happy that it made him think twice about declining.
“Sure, angel, hot cocoa sounds good.”
Another beam was sent his way as she busied herself behind the counter, his eyes following every move as his brain chastised him for being such a sap.
When she finally came to join him on the couch, hot chocolate was pushed in front of him, and he had to admit it smelled fricking good. A bit like her.
“Thanks.” He accepted the mug and took his first sip.
“So, I take it you read the letter?”
When his attention returned to her, she was twisting on the sofa to face him, pulling her legs up and crossing them over each other.
“Yeah, angel, I did.”
“That’s it? Please don’t tell me you came all the way over here just to grunt at me?”
How she managed to pull a smile out of him so easily, he didn’t know. “No, Bella, I didn’t come all the way over here to grunt at you . I have questions. The first one being ... did you read the letter?”
It was his turn to twist in his seat now, letting his own leg bend and rest on the cushion.
“No, Luke, of course I didn’t. That letter was intended for you and you only.” She seemed to be genuinely offended.
He didn’t regret asking though. He needed to know. Considering the content. “Okay, fine. How exactly did you meet my brother? Just through work?”
“He’s your brother now?” He simply shrugged at her dig. “Okay. Fine. I met your brother a long time ago. When I was living on the street. He was working on his first solo documentary, and he asked if he could interview me.”
She was living on the goddamn street?
She said it so matter-of-factly. No emotion. Nothing. As if it wasn’t a big deal. It was a huge fucking deal. He must have blinked a few too many times because she took pity on him and elaborated.
“It’s not a big deal, and no, I don’t want to talk about it. But I will tell you about your brother. Anything you want to know. Like I said before, he was an amazing man. I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for him. I owe him everything.”
What does that mean?
Damnit. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he couldn’t do this. He could feel the pulse in his neck thumping. Surely that wasn’t a normal thing to feel?
Bella’s hand came to him, landing on his thigh as she leaned forward, offering him the same comfort he’d offered her earlier that day. Only doing it better.
“Why now?” Luke ground out. “Why not come to me a year ago ... five years ago ... ten? Why write this creepy ass death letter and have you hand deliver it to me? I mean, the guy was thirty-seven for fucks sake, it’s not like he was sitting around waiting to die ... not like he knew some psycho killer was gonna get him. I just don’t get it.”
He watched as her hand lifted and began fiddling with the hem of her shorts. He wasn’t going to let himself think about how much he missed her touch though.
“You’re right, thirty-seven is no age to be preparing for your death. But ... you have to understand that because of what he did, he put himself in dangerous situations. A lot. And y’know, there was this one time that we both got shot and I think—”
His scramble across the cushions cut her off. That and his hand cupping her face, lifting it all the way up until he was looking into silver again. “You got fucking shot?”
She didn’t speak, just nodded. Her eyes roamed his face with a curiosity he’d not seen before.
“Who the hell shot you?”
“Uh, well.” She batted her eyelashes at him then. Like they were talking about the weather and not her almost fucking dying. “We were in the Central African Republic, and we may have accidentally ended up in the middle of a shootout between rebels and security forces.”
Who is this woman?
“Central African Republic,” he repeated. Not even sure why. It was like his brain was melting. “You accidentally ended up in the middle of a shootout?”
Another nod. “It’s not like we planned to get shot, Luke. We’re not idiots.”
Oh, well. That’s fine then.
Fucking hell.
“I’m gonna have to take your word for that, angel.” He realized then that his hand was still on her, thumbing an impossibly silky cheek. But he didn’t move it. He just kept gliding. “Where were you shot?”
His eyes followed her movement as her fingers trailed along her left side. “Here. I was lucky, the bullet skimmed my side, so other than a gnarly scar, it wasn’t too bad. Marco, though ... he got shot in the leg. That was bad.”
His hand dropped from her face to her waist, a single digit slowly dragging her top up. She should have stopped him; he had no right to see and no right to touch her. But she didn’t. She kept her eyes on him. Even as his gaze dipped, he could feel the heat of her stare.
Letting his finger glide over the darkened skin and dip into the curve, he felt his heart speed up. He didn’t understand what was happening. But somehow he knew it was something he wasn’t equipped to handle. Which was enough to jolt him into action.
Pulling his hand back, he abruptly stood, swallowing hard as he got his first look at her confused expression.
“I have to go,” he announced. Not waiting for a reply, he went straight to the door and let himself out, shaking his head the whole way back to the car.