CHAPTER FIVE
L ike a dumbass, Luke had invited Bella over for dinner.
Why the hell did I do that again?
Who was he kidding, he knew exactly why. He still wanted her. Worse than before. As if that were even possible. And seeing that douchebag Calvin practically drool all over her had obviously short-circuited Luke’s brain. Made him make questionable choices.
Now here he was in his kitchen, flipping steaks and pretending like this wasn’t a big fucking deal. Well, it was. Not once in thirty-five years had he made dinner for a woman. He hadn’t even taken one out to a restaurant. Luke Cappelli did not date.
If he wanted a woman, he picked her up in a bar, normally out of town, went back to her place, and then disappeared before sunlight. That might make him a dick, but that was who he was. No strings. No commitment. No fuss.
Nothing like what was going on now. Actually, he had no idea what the hell was going on. But one thing was for sure, it reeked of complication.
Being all new to this, he was struggling with how to handle the unfamiliar feelings bubbling to the surface. Never before had he simply wanted to just be with a woman. No ulterior motives. No plans to get her naked. Just being in her company because he enjoyed it. Craved it.
The more time he spent with her, the stronger the pull between them became. There was no one thing that made him feel this way. It was all of it. The way their personalities seemed to click, her dark sense of humor, and the sharp sarcasm she effortlessly threw out. He wanted more of everything. He wanted more of her.
You’re so fucked.
He was. That was made obvious when Bella strolled up to the marble counter beside him and jumped up onto the surface, swinging her legs until she was intermittently kicking his thigh. But it wasn’t his legs he was worried about. It was the ache in his chest that had formed at just the sight of her.
“So, what’s up with the fancy ass pad, Cappelli?”
“Excuse me?” He stole another glance just as she was flicking her wild waves over one shoulder.
“This place. It’s a little big for a bachelor, don’t you think? And don’t even get me started on the designer décor. I’m scared to touch anything in case I break something I can’t afford.”
He rolled his eyes at that as he opened the cupboard to pull out some plates. “And yet here you are, sitting on my kitchen counter without a care in the world.”
“True. Guess I better run the numbers. What did this marble set you back?” she asked as her hand teasingly skimmed over the surface.
Plating up the food, he felt his head shake and a smile break. How was she doing this? He didn’t even smile this often around his friends.
“I’ll have to get back to you on that—it’s time to eat, angel.”
When he looked back, she was smiling too. A smile so bright it lit up her whole face.
Goddamn, she’s beautiful.
He needed to focus. Food. Right. They were going to eat. Taking the plates to the table he’d set up on the patio, he used the walk over as an opportunity to try and sort himself out. He heard Bella jump down and follow behind, but he didn’t dare look back as he passed through the sliding doors.
“Very nice,” Bella declared as she pulled out a chair.
That was another thing. He’d purposely spent time trying to make the table look nice for her. He’d even put a candle out. A freaking candle?!
Who even am I?
“Why do you look pissed off?”
Perfect. He wasn’t even shutting down his facial expressions around her anymore.
“I’m not pissed off.” Okay, even he could admit that didn’t sound all too convincing.
When he chanced a glance at her, she was shaking her head. He even heard a tut, before she said, “You need to get out of your head, Cappelli, and spend some time in the real world with the rest of us.”
And just like that, he’d lost his appetite. Around her, he’d become the one thing he strived every day not to be. Transparent. She saw everything. And he didn’t like it.
When he didn’t reply, she didn’t seem too concerned. She continued on as if she’d not just exposed him.
“So ... you said you had some more questions, about Marco?” A loaded fork was daintily pushed through those plump red lips as she eyed him expectantly.
Questions. Right. He had those.
Maybe think of them instead of staring at her lips?
Fuck. Clearing his throat and the filth in his head, the questions he had came flooding back to him.
“I guess I just wanted to know a bit more about his life. Was he happy?”
He was rewarded with another sunny smile. This one, slightly lopsided. “He was happy. We both were. We did what we loved. Traveled the world. Lived every day like it was our last. And as a good-looking guy, he certainly wasn’t short of company either.” She threw in a wink.
That was something at least. He had a good life. Marco deserved that.
“You said the other day you owe him everything, what did you mean?”
The playfulness drained just as quickly from her face as it had come. “Yeah, well, I also remember telling you that when I met Marco I was sleeping rough. It’s no coincidence that changed after meeting your brother. For that, I’ll always be thankful. That and everything else he did for me.”
Luke’s body didn’t appreciate the reminder she’d been homeless, if the racing heartbeat was anything to go by.
“Like what?”
“Look, Luke”—her elbows hit the table then—“I told you, whatever you want to know about your brother, I’m happy to tell you. But I’m not here to share my life story.”
That was bullshit.
“But your lives were interconnected, right?” he prodded.
She blew out a long breath. Clearly not impressed by his logic. Looks like he wasn’t the only one hiding behind a wall. “Right. And I’m happy to tell you all about the places we went, his favorite food, the type of men he went for, or even his ridiculous morning grooming routine ... but my shit is off-limits, all right?”
It wasn’t all right. It only made him more curious. He wanted to take a bulldozer to that wall and uncover everything there was to know about this woman. But he couldn’t. Wouldn’t. So he settled for snippets.
He chose to hear more about the places she and Marco had traveled to. The adventures they had. And apparently the near misses to their lives along the way. With every story, Luke not only learned more about his brother, but Bella inadvertently revealed small parts of who she was too.
It was obvious that she had a fierce loyalty to Marco. What captivated him the most, though, was her sheer determination—and occasional fearlessness—when trying to understand why people behaved as they did. The places she’d been weren’t exactly featured in any Top Ten Destinations To Visit list, but when she talked about them, you would think they were. She embraced it all. The good, the bad, and the ugly, without so much as flinching. Where most people would pass judgement, she empathised. But the best part of hearing her talk had to be the way her entire face lit up, her body coming alive with excitement. So he asked to hear more. And then some more.
It wasn’t until the wine bottle had been drained and their plates emptied that he realized how long they’d been talking. It must have been hours. But that wasn’t the most shocking part, it was that his face actually ached from smiling so much and his throat was dry from laughing.
Did it make him a freak to admit that this had never happened before?
Yes. You’re definitely a freak. A fucked one at that.
Maybe his first instinct was right. Maybe this was all just too much sexual tension for him to handle. Maybe if they slept together, he could move on. The knots in his stomach would unravel. And he’d finally be able to think straight around her.
There’s only one way to find out.
As quickly as that idea came, it went. He was being dumb. Dangerously so. It was time to call it a night before he did something he’d regret. Gathering the plates, he hoped she’d get the hint.
“You walking out on me mid-conversation again, Cappelli?”
Bella stood then and began collecting what was left on the table. Glasses, the wine bottle, and that freaking candle, which he watched her blow out. The sight of plump red lips enough to stop him in his tracks.
Stop fucking perving.
With that reminder, his back snapped straight, and his previously gooey eyes became laser-focused. “I think I’ll live not knowing what other weird thing you’ve eaten.”
“What just happened?”
He averted his gaze again, ignoring her astute silver stare, and started to make his way back through the glass doors and toward the kitchen. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Uh, yes, you do.” He heard her scurry after him. “You went from normal and relaxed to cold and detached in the blink of an eye. Literally. Is it always that easy? Do you just flip a switch and the walls come back up automatically? No downtime necessary?”
Placing the plates in the sink, he swung back around to find a pissed-off-looking Bella in his face. Everything she was carrying a moment ago discarded, her hands were now placed firmly on her hips. A challenge sparkled in her eyes.
“Angel,” he warned, not sure how long he was going to be able to keep himself on a leash while she was this close to him. And while the taste of berries was making his mouth water. “Has it ever occurred to you that maybe this is just who I am? Cold and detached as you put it?”
“That’s bullshit and you know it,” she spat. He found himself stepping closer as she spoke. Ushering her backward toward the floating marble island. “If that’s who you are, then who was the guy I just had dinner with, huh? I want to talk to that guy. The Luke that’s smart and funny and easy to talk to. Where did he go?”
As soon as her butt hit the counter, his hands went to the countertop on either side of her. Boxing her in. When his head dipped, his pulse pounded.
“Why can’t I be both guys?”
He witnessed Bella’s breathing pick up as he let his nose nuzzle hers.
“I think they call that schizophrenia.” Her voice was a whisper. Her body betraying her words.
“What do you call it, angel?” Their mouths were so close now that his lips brushed hers with every word each of them uttered.
“Emotionally fucked.”
Feeling his lips tilt up, he let his nose nudge hers again. “Aren’t we all?”
“I can’t argue with that.”
He didn’t want to argue with her at all. He wanted to do the exact opposite and worship her. Give in and allow himself a taste. Not just of those sweet lips but of all of her. Running his tongue along every dip and curve until he tasted heaven.
Just as the last of his control finally snapped, her palms came up and rested on his chest.
Fuck, her hands feel good on me.
Her forehead moved next and dropped against his.
“This isn’t a good idea.” Her voice wasn’t just quiet this time, she sounded breathless. And damn if that wasn’t as sexy as hell.
“Why not?”
“Because this can’t go anywhere,” she replied, stating the obvious.
“Why does it need to go anywhere?” he countered.
More hot breath sunk into his lips as she let out a sigh. “You don’t understand ... I can’t just hook up with my dead best friend’s brother. It’s not right.”
“But if it were more than just hooking up?” He was playing with fire. He knew it.
“I don’t know.” He lost her eyes as they squeezed shut.
He couldn’t give her more. What was he thinking asking her that? He needed to back off. Tell her he wasn’t the “more” type of guy. But he didn’t get a chance.
“It doesn’t matter anyway,” she said with a slight shake of her head, “’cause that’s not gonna happen. That’s not what this is.”
Why did he feel like he’d just taken a punch? That’s not what this is. Her words rattled around his overly heated brain. He wanted to protest. Demand she tell him exactly how she’d come to that conclusion. But that didn’t make sense, did it? Not when it was on the tip of his tongue to tell her the exact same thing.
His brain and body must have spent way too long arguing with each other, because Bella was done waiting. She was pushing at his chest now. Releasing herself from the cage he’d created around her.
“I have to go.” She avoided meeting his gaze as she rushed to get away from him.
He’d frozen. Everything inside of him wanted to go after her. But he stopped himself. Because what then? Was he seriously going to beg her to change her mind? No. Luke Cappelli did not beg. So he stood in his empty kitchen. And tried his best to swallow down the huge lump in his throat.
***
L uke needed some time . That’s what he was telling himself anyway as he sulked on his couch.
Last night was still all too fresh in his mind. And don’t even get him started on how his body was taking it. It had not forgotten either. It had been on high alert ever since his lips had lightly brushed Bella’s. His heart was still hammering. His blood was still boiled. And his lungs were still filled with wild berries.
You’re losing your mind. That’s what this is. You’ve finally lost it.
It was the only explanation.
Vibration diverted his attention to the table. His phone was alerting him to a message. Slowly lifting from the leather cushions, he reached out and grabbed it, flicking open the message.
Benny: Dude, you need to get your ass down to the Tipsy Cow.
Luke: What? Why?
Benny: That chick Bella is down here, and she’s causing quite a stir.
Luke had never moved so fast in his life. Within a second, he was up and grabbing his keys. A minute later, he was out the door. His brain hadn’t even had the chance to catch up until he was in his car, driving to the Tipsy Cow.
What the fuck are you doing, dumbass?
It was a good question.
What if she’s in trouble and she needs me?
Was this how all addicts justified their decisions, he wondered? Because that’s what he was. An addict. He’d come to that conclusion one hour into watching ESPN. That’s why his body was shaking, and he’d spent all day resisting the urge to go and see Bella. To get his fix. Now here he was, jumping at the first opportunity he was given to lay his eyes on her again.
Deep down he knew she wasn’t in trouble. And if she was, Benny was there. He wouldn’t let anything happen to her. But that didn’t matter. Not now. Not while he was pulling up outside the only bar in town.
Car locked, pavement pounded, Luke was swinging open the heavy door just seconds later. Walking into the neon cave that was the Tipsy Cow. Colorful signs lit up the walls, casting pink, blue, and green shadows on the scuffed wooden tabletops.
He spotted Benny immediately propping up the bar. Luke’s feet were on the move toward his friend as his eyes scanned the rest of the room. But he didn’t make it to the bar. Or to his friend. His steps faltered around about the time he got his first look at Bella.
What the fuck?
In the middle of the dancefloor, the fallen angel herself was not only inspiring a whole load of sin in him, but half the damn bar too. She wasn’t doing so in some sort of skimpy outfit either. She was in jeans and a flimsy vest. But the vest was rising up with every stretch of her arms. Exposing her flat stomach, her scar, and a black rose tattoo. The bare skin would have been enough to make him want to bite down on his fist, but the way she was swaying her hips in time to the dirty blues that was blasting out the speakers was enough to make him want to drop to his knees.
Apparently, he wasn’t the only one who thought so too. She was surrounded. Men circled her like she was prey, eyes following every movement that sexy body was making. It was enough to make him see red. We’re talking temporary insanity. That was the only excuse he had for what he did next.
Pushing his way through the crowd, he didn’t stop until he reached her. She didn’t notice him at first. Her eyes were closed, her arms were up, and her silky skin was still putting on a show. Altogether, it was enough to make him justify his rather caveman-like reaction as her eyes shot open.
“Luke—”
She didn’t finish the sentence, because in one lightning quick move, he’d lifted her over his shoulder.
“What the hell?” He heard her shriek.
But he was too busy striding his ass out of there, nodding to a laughing Benny as he passed him. Just as they reached the exit, she began to kick. And then a punch landed on his back.
That’s gonna leave a mark.
As soon as they were outside, he set her down next to the wall.
“What the fuck, Cappelli?” He deserved the push to his chest, so he took it like a man.
“I could ask you the same thing.” Right now, his body was in charge, and it needed to be nearer. That’s why he backed her up again, until she was pressed against the brick.
“What are you talking about?” Those silver eyes flashed in annoyance as he got closer. At least he thought it was annoyance.
“You can’t hook up with me, so you go looking for it somewhere else, is that it? Is that why you’re shaking your ass for the whole damn town?”
A hard slap stung his cheek. But it only made his blood pump faster, fire shooting through his veins and causing the thread he was hanging on by to finally snap. Next thing he knew, his head was down, and his mouth was crashing down onto hers. Fury fuelling every movement as his teeth pulled her apart. Prying her open to allow his tongue its first taste.
He felt her hands circle around his neck, forcing him down further so he could take the kiss even deeper. As he drank down every sexy sound she made, both of them fought for control. But he never had been very good at sharing. Which was why he needed to show her exactly who was in charge.
Both hands went to her ass, lifting her with ease as she folded her legs around him. Bella arched, and he pressed into her, her head pushed against the wall as he greedily took his fill. Satisfaction blooming in his chest when more whimpers vibrated down his throat.
He was so turned on he could barely think, all his brain cells long gone. Melted in the fire that was currently engulfing them both. Whiskey-flavored moans feeding the flames and threatening to burn them both to the ground.
If he wasn’t in the damn parking lot, he’d have had her clothes torn off by now. His mouth all over this soft skin until her screams rang out in his ears.
But he was reminded of just where they were when the door next to them swung open, and the sounds of men stumbling out into the night managed to register in his cloudy mind. Their howls of laughter enough to cause Luke’s feast to falter.
Shit.
Painfully aware of his predicament and what he must look like right now, he reluctantly drew back. Letting out a groan as he got his first look at her swollen, wet lips and the heavy breaths she was struggling to push through them.
“Come home with me,” he panted. He was so far gone; he was even prepared to beg at this point.
“I-I.” She didn’t elaborate further. Just pinned him with dark gray pools.
“I’m not done with you, angel, not by a long shot.” The scary truth was that he wasn’t sure if he’d ever be done with her.
He didn’t miss the heat flare in her eyes. “What does that mean?”
“It means that I’m not done making you moan.”
His lips, missing hers already, went back for more. Lightly, he ran his tongue along the seam of her mouth, making her gasp. Now she was parted and ready, he scraped his teeth along her bottom lip and tugged—her taste dangerously close to making him lose his mind again.
“I haven’t even started yet,” he drawled into her. “You think this is good, just wait and see what else I can do with this mouth. I guaran-fucking-tee you won’t be disappointed.”
One night wouldn’t be enough with this woman. He knew that. Accepted that. There was too much he wanted to do to her. With her. Over and over again. Too much he wanted to see. To taste. To touch. He wanted to drown in her. For days. Months. Fucking years.
Uh, years? What the hell?
Now was not the time to analyze. Now was the time for action. But she still hadn’t answered. And his stomach was beginning to twist.
“Say you’ll come home with me,” he asked again, drawing back until he was looking into her.
She was going to bolt. He saw it coming almost in slow motion. Her gaze was no longer glazed. Her brain had obviously switched back on sooner than his. And her perfect white teeth had taken his place on her lower lip as she searched out his eyes.
“We can’t,” she began, wriggling enough in his hold that he knew what he had to do next. Let her go.
“We can,” he argued as he set her back down on the ground. Not ready to step back from her just yet.
He was guessing the sigh wasn’t a good sign. “I have to go.”
As she went to leave, his hand shot out. “Please. Don’t.” Was he really going to beg?
Apparently, I am.
She twisted in his hold, a look of pure hopelessness marring her pretty features. “I have to. You know I have to. And you know exactly why you should let me. You’re just as unprepared for this as I am.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means, it’s too much. This is too much, Luke.” She gestured between them for emphasis. “I was wrong the other day when I said that anything between us would just be a hook-up. That kiss just proved that. And don’t even think about telling me you didn’t feel what I just felt.”
He wasn’t going to. She was right. So he dropped his hand ... and let her leave. He didn’t move though. He stood right there in the darkness. Trying to catch his breath.