Chapter 10
Melody
T he desire to go back and run into him again was strong.
My skin itched with the need to be impulsive for three weeks. Like it was on fire, like it needed to be fed with the fuel it craved.
That night Hound dropped me off, after he asked me to sing for him, he woke something in me. Call it motivation, call it a second chance, I didn’t know what else to call it.
But he thought it was bringing back to my life, my home. Little did he know, it wasn’t all true. I bet he viewed me as an “All-American” song writer that lived in a tiny studio, barely keeping houseplants alive, and sticking little flowers in my hair.
I wished that was a true dream. It would have been better than my nomadic ways.
“Come on, sugar. We need to leave in the next few minutes if we’re going to see Mark perform,” Sadie hollered from the living room.
I stared at myself in her bathroom mirror, trying to cover up the dark circles from the limited amount of sleep I was getting. Between the nightmares and sleeping in a makeshift bed, sleep had not been my friend. I was thankful that Sadie helped me out by letting me stay during the day, making it somewhat a home. But unfortunately, if her landlord found out that she was living here and not her uncle, whose name was on the lease, she would be screwed.
I wasn’t going to risk her own struggling self to get in trouble. But she was a truer friend to me the past couple of years.
I didn’t know how I got there, to the point where my home was a large van that housed everything I practically owned. Memories that were in photo boxes, important documents that were safeguarded in my backpack that went everywhere with me, and my guitar that was my life line in more ways than one.
Most nights, I had to find safety in a quiet neighborhood where no one would see me at the darkest hours of the night or the mornings. When I would have to leave or else someone would catch wind of me. And when the weather became unbearable, Sadie risked her housing for me to sleep on the couch.
I had survived a lot, and even that night I was going to survive, though it was going to be a long road to regain strength. It was more confusing when a man was sweet enough to take care of me and for once, I didn’t have to bring up the shield on my life.
Hound Dog was always on my mind. It wasn’t a pure coincidence that he found me. He never said, but I could tell.
“Melody Rae!” Sadie pulled me away from the downward spiral of thoughts. I brushed my hair over and over again. “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, and the whole holy trinity. Are you daydreaming again?”
Guilty.
“Thinking about your knight and shining armor?” she asked, standing behind me. Her straight dark hair and tanned complexion was a thing of beauty. Made me a little jealous the way she was just effortlessly beautiful. Her kind smile spread across her face.
“No.” I shook my head, packing my brush back into my little bag of toiletries.
“Liar.”
“Am not.” I stuck my tongue out.
She rested her chin on my shoulder. I told her everything about that night and she pestered me to go back to the club and keep “thanking” Hound Dog. I told her it was crazy as if I was the stalker. I was horny, but not desperate. No matter how many times I wished his soft touches melted into my skin.
“We are going for Mark,” I reminded her.
I should have been reminding myself. She just looked at me with those caramel doe eyes like she knew I was kidding myself. If the universe was listening, I was sending positive thoughts that I might see him one more time. If anything to block him off my mind.
“Come on, you’ve written countless verses since you left him. And from the sound of it, he wasn’t sure about letting you go.” She pursed her lips.
I rolled my eyes, shaking her off my shoulders, grabbed my boho tote, promising myself that I would come back from supporting a friend and move on with my life. I wasn’t going to stop my life or be hung up on a guy that literally showed me that there were still good people in the world, even the ones that swear they aren’t.
In a blink, we met up with our group of friends at the Blue Sax. It was another open mic night, and it was packed. With the return of college students and long time residents, it was starting to become home again.
Artists were coming up and expressing their hearts and souls. Every chance I got, I would scan the room, thinking that I’d see that tall, brute of a man that made my heart beat faster at the mere thought of him.
Sadie’s little crimson colored smile didn’t stop, she knew what was happening. As much as I was going to deny it, she knew. To my own disappointment, he wasn’t coming, nor would he return.
I mean, did I really expect a man that spent one night taking care of me to think about me, to want me? I wasn’t made to be a romance book, I was made to live a life that I built.
I knew I was beautiful in my own way, I knew that I was a strong woman, it just took circumstances to stun me. I knew I deserved something good, but in the world around us, sometimes the possibility seemed distant.
But right there, sitting in the same place that I once had a chance to express my own voice, I was cheering on my good friend. I brushed off the last of the hope and plastered on a smile. And yet out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw something, someone. I thought it was my mind playing games.
Or maybe it was the rum that was teasing my mind with the inner thoughts of what I wanted more, what I desired.
“I’m going to the bathroom.” I leaned over to Sadie who was swaying to a song from a bluegrass singer on stage. She was trapped in the music, I didn’t know if she heard me or not, but my feet kept moving.
I couldn’t bear to confirm if I saw what I saw, my eyes averted any other direction but down. I trailed into a hallway that led to a couple of doors. But something told me to stop and slow down. That was when I heard the voice of a man that haunted my own melodies, that made me question my own sanity.
“Looking for something, little songbird?” His deep voice was enough to send me straight to an early grave.
I turned to find him, a few feet away from me, like he had been following me, waiting for the perfect moment to appear from the shadows. I saw him. My savior, someone who saw a piece of vulnerability that was a secret many didn’t know.
His charismatic smile and alluring eyes put me back into a trance and I didn’t know if I was going to be released.
My confidence was about to burst and yet, it was silenced. A simple question could render me speechless. My throat became drier than a desert in the middle of July. I had this whole plan of keeping it cool. But the way he was looking at me showed me that I was looking like a fool. That I was staring at him like he was the biggest monster alive and he was ready to eat me.
“No,” I squeaked. Heat flushed my cheeks at the mere embarrassment.
Where the fuck did that come from?
He snickered. “You trying again?” he asked, looking at me up and down, taking a good look at my appearance. Everything from my faded ripped jeans to the deep v-neck one piece, giving him a nice view.
I shook my head, “No, supporting Mark.”
He raised an eyebrow, “Mark? Boyfriend of yours?” His voice turned a little possessive, and angry. Maybe the fools were right, there was something like love at first sight. That would make one of us.
“What’s it to you?” I played along, pressing every button I was allowed to break.
He stepped closer to me. The man continued to tower over me, his gaze setting a small fire inside me. “I’d like to know who else may have heard that voice.”
“And what if he has?”
He quietly growled, stepping closer to me, our chests now touched. “I’d like to have thought I was the only one. One that simply asked, and you, like a good little songbird, obliged.”
Now, who sounded possessive? Like he had a hold on me, and truth be told, the man didn’t have to work that damn hard. If he asked me anything else, I would be happy about it. The ache to kiss him grew, the power of temptation.
What the fuck is with this man?
I gulped, not knowing how much longer I would put up the little battle.
“You wanted to be the only one? Seems only fair to know who you’ve sung for.” I teased him. The long-awaited confidence reared her siren side.Then I started to stumble over my words. "I mean, if you do sing. I don't know why I said that."
He leaned close to my ear; a sweet smell of bourbon lingered on him. A shiver of goosebumps covered me as he spoke. “Only for you.”
He pulled away as my eyes fluttered open. I nodded my head, “You’ve been the only one as well.”
“Why’s that?” Hound asked. He already knew the answer and I wasn’t going to explain myself again.
“You know why.” I glared at him, crossing my arms in front of me.
He walked me toward the wall behind me, trapping me with his arms. He wanted me alone, with all his attention. “Tell me why.”
I’d never been impulsive, not to a degree. I’d followed the rules, played the games. But the way he looked at me tempted me to do everything others would tell me not to do. We were inches away and I couldn’t help myself.
Get him out of my system.
Without hesitation I captured his lips, reaching to take his face, taking every reaction of shock to him. He didn’t fight back, he didn’t pull back either. He simply growled in what I hoped was pleasure. If anything, he kissed me back, pressing our bodies flush against the wall.
Our tongues tangled with each other, he fought for control. His pressed body was hard as stone, no matter where you looked. I should have pulled back, but it felt too damn good. He braced one hand on the wall, the other trailing up my hip to cup my cheek. The temptress inside of me was begging for his hand to go further up.
His kiss deepened if that was even possible. Almost possessive, like it was just us and no one else in the world. He felt warm, almost like light peaking through the early morning.
I couldn’t help but just moan, the feeling was too damn good.
Impulsive, but damn good.
He pulled back, resting his forehead on mine. My eyes fluttered open, only to stare back into his. I bit my bottom lip, looking down and then back at him.
He growled, deep in his chest. “Mm, if that was a way to prevent you from answering me, then by all means do it again.” He smiled like a damn fool.
I giggled. Me. Melody Rae giggled for the first time in my life.
“Well, it wasn’t. But I’d be happy to do it again,” I said. I almost begged him to kiss me.
He leaned his head back, looking around, probably seeing if anyone was looking, but his gaze fixed back on me. I got nervous, the high of my impulsivity fading away. My body started to tingle, a small sensation that intensified.
“Come with me,” he said before pulling my hand, leading us through a crowd or two. He didn’t give me a chance to protest.
He took us to the other side of the bar back, in a corner where the music wasn’t blaring in our ears. He sat me down with my back toward the crowd and him in front of me.
I didn’t know what else to do, but something in my veins craved him for a second longer."You gonna answer my question?” he asked.
I sucked in my lips, debating on telling him no, but that didn’t happen. “My stage fright?”
He nodded. I sighed, placing my hands in my lap, fidgeting with the rings on my fingers.
“Yeah, it’s still a thing, and it’s something I can’t get over. I forget the music, I forget everything I worked for, and it vanishes. I can’t look people in the eyes. If I try to sing, one look at someone and my voice cracks, I sweat, my knees give out under me. You saw what happened to me.” I started to get defensive.
I knew I could do it, but the mind was a powerful thing.
I suspected that he would take pity on me or feel sorry. But his eyes, his body were soft and empathetic. I continued, “I can’t get out of my head, I can’t shove down the thoughts that plague me. I want to get out there and actually do what I want, but...”
“You’re left feeling like you can’t.” He finished my thought. I nodded. “Been there before,” he said.
I snorted, “Yeah right.”
But his expression didn’t change. He wasn’t kidding. “Oh, well. Then you know the feeling of working yourself up to the moment, only to have your own body and mind take over.” I said, leaning against the bar.
He shook his head for a moment, like he was tossing a thought around. “Do you trust me?”
What was this, a freaking princess movie where the hero reaches his hand out asking that question?
“Can I?” I asked in return.
Of course, internally I was saying yes I could trust him, but I’d only kissed him once and he took care of me in a dark moment. And yet, I could tell that others would have wanted me to say no.
“Honey, there’s nowhere safer than around me. You wouldn’t have given into the temptation of stealing my breath away if you didn’t trust me on some level.”
I hesitated, I didn’t know where this conversation was going. Could I trust him, let alone could I trust myself? I took the chance and nodded my head. His soft smile returned. “Then maybe you trust me enough to help you.”
I froze for only a moment before a burst of laughter escaped me like I found the punchline of the joke. But as my laugh died down, I saw the confused look in his eyes. The man wasn’t kidding again. Jesus, I felt like an asshole.
I cleared my throat, “I’m so sorry! I didn’t think you were serious.”
He cracked his neck before pushing off the chair stepping closer to me forcing my head to whip back to gather in his height. “I want to help you. I think I can help you become something.”
“Why would you want to do that?” I threw out the question.
The back of his hand caressed my cheek making me lean into his touch. Goosebumps pricked my skin, all innocent thoughts went outside the window. “You want the right answer?”
“There was a wrong answer?” I questioned again. One of these days my mouth was truly going to get me in trouble.
“The right answer is that I see the star, the artist you can become. I see the old soul of music flowing through your veins. I think you can do it,” he said, without a hint of bluff.
This man believed in me and he never asked for anything else. He didn’t know me, but my body already responded to him with such need. Maybe he could be a mentor, maybe he could help. I didn’t question why a man of the club's life would do this, it was already known that the Saints were patrons of the arts, that they curated these venues to help folks like me.
The cut, the way he told those guys in the alley not to screw around with the Saint’s, I wasn’t blind, but he hadn’t confirmed anything.
“What was the wrong answer?” My body shivered with sweet anticipation. I was already going to say yes, but curiosity got the best of me.
He smirked before brushing my loose hair behind my ear, leaning down to say, “Because after one sweet taste of you, I wanted more. I need more.”
That did it.
He pulled away, and I couldn’t help but release a small whimper at his words. My cheeks heated as pure embarrassment flooded me. He stared at me with pure heat. He licked his lips, glancing at mine. I could see his thoughts and my body squirmed under the anticipation.
“You need to stop looking at me like that,” he grumbled.
“Like what?” I asked, confused at his words.
His face came closer to mine, freezing me in that moment. “Like you want me to devour every inch of you.”
I gulped. I didn’t think I was looking at him anyway. I wanted to protest, but damn it, maybe he was right.
“One can dream,” I teased him.
He cupped my face before I said anything else, bringing his lips to mine, capturing it in a bruising, possessive, demanding kiss. The type that made you melt into a puddle only to get swept up again and do it all over. The type you wished would never end.The type of kiss where the man takes control and you sit there like limp noodle with your arms swaying by the side because you don’t know where else to put them.
It’s only when he pulled away that I remembered where I was. Everything was tingling, my vagina was beginning to have a little pulse.
“Let me take you home, and we can talk a little more in private.” He grinned.
When my mind came back to reality, nerves started to come alive. Everything went from straight forward to worrying about my “somewhat” truth.
I bit my lip when he wasn’t looking, but by the time he looked back at me, I stuttered, “We really don’t have to, I’m okay.”
“Honey, I only bite, if you ask,” he winked.
“It’s okay you don’t have to help me,” I started to say. I shook my head, trying to settle my nerves. Hound took my chin in hand.
“I said I could help cure that stage fright,” he stared into my soul. I knew he could sense something, the man was taking over.
“I know, but can we go back to your house?”
He quirked an eyebrow, “You afraid to take me home?”
Fuck, he was going to make me break down a wall of pride, not needing someone else’s help when I am down on my luck. “No, it’s just... Maybe I’d be comfortable back at your home.”
“If you have a boyfriend, you might need to tell me now,” he said sternly.
“No boyfriend, I promise. Let’s not go back to my place. Trust me, you don’t want to,” I stammered, feeling the sweat drip from the back of my neck.
“Melody,” he growled in warning. “Your guitar is there, so we might as well go get it. Why won’t you let me take you home?”
“I can’t,” I said firmly. His fingers tightened around my chin.
“Why not?” he asked again.
I felt one of those damn walls tumbling down. “Because I don’t have one.”
He stood there, silent. I just stunned him into silence. What came next was going to break down a lot more walls.