17. 17
T here’s not a single camera in the room. Not a single other person. Nothing. I’m completely alone, waiting for Parker, and a part of me wants to run around the room naked and screaming just because I can. But a knock sounds at the door of my villa within the tropical inspired resort I arrived to the night before, and I know my Desire Suite date is about to begin. My hand shakes so much as I reach for the door handle, I almost can’t grasp it on the first try. Despite Parker’s enthusiastic request for me to continue on the show with him in the last candle ceremony, I’m still nervous.
The Desire Suite dates are the last dates before the finale of House of Desire , when the proposal will happen. While the purpose of this last date is for the couple to get to know each other without any cameras around, it has become assumed sex happens more often than not. And while I’m attracted to Parker, because I have a pulse, I’m just not sure I can have sex with someone I barely know.
Sure, we’ve done one therapy session together that was way more effective than I ever anticipated. And sure, he’s met my parents. Something someone hasn’t done in quite some time. And they loved him.
But there’s an intimacy in sharing yourself with someone I’m not sure I want to do yet. I’m not a virgin, by any means. I’ve had one-night stands and friends with benefits arrangements. Mutually beneficial situations where there were no feelings on either side. The person was no one to me, romantically.
But Parker?
Parker could be someone to me romantically, and once sex is involved, you can never go back. That and he’s still, technically, dating Carmen and Leslie for the show. I want to be able to cross that line when I know he’s just mine.
So, I stand here, hand on the handle, until finally I twist and pull the door open. My heart skips a beat as I feel the string of fate, creating a new path I can’t turn away from.
“Hi,” I breathe, looking up at him, almost regretting my relaxed t-shirt and sleep shorts when I see his form fitting Henley and black jeans.
“Finally,” he says, grabbing me around the waist and pulling me toward him for a hard kiss that makes my toes curl.
He walks me backward and I hear the door slam behind him. I break the kiss and look down at the bag in his hand.
“Do you want to set that down in the bedroom?”
“Sure, I’ll be right back,” he says, kissing the tip of my nose .
I look around the room, making sure it’s perfect like I have been doing for the past hour. Soft music plays from the hidden speakers around the living room. Fake candles litter the space, presumably to offer guests the choice of ambiance without the threat of fire, giving the living room a nice glow. In the bedroom, I have the few floor and table lamps on as well, their light turned down, creating a cozy effect with the fluffy bed and velvet floor to ceiling curtains.
The light over the dining table and wet bar is dark for now.
“Have you eaten?” Parker asks, coming back into the room, now in a pair of gray sweatpants and a white undershirt, making my mouth water.
Seeing him in casual clothes removes any regret and I appreciate the small gesture. With each passing moment, I’m feeling more and more at ease.
“No, but I could eat.”
“You look like a bunny rabbit that’s being told to grab a carrot out of a trap,” Parker says, coming over to me, rubbing his hands up and down my arms. “Are you nervous?”
“Very.”
“What can I do to help?”
“Hug me?”
Before I can blink, I’m in his arms. His teakwood scent engulfs me and, while still nervous, I calm. I feel Parker settle in to holding me, setting his cheek on the top of my head. And that’s all I need.
Pulling back, I smile up at him.
“Thank you for that.”
“The first one is on the house, but the next one will cost you.”
“Mmm, while worth it, I didn’t bring any money with me. ”
His large hand reaches up, cupping my jaw. His thumb rubbing my bottom lip and making me want to squirm, but I hold still.
“There are other ways you can pay,” he says, pulling my lip down. “Like you could do my laundry.”
I shove him off me as we both laugh at his antics.
“I’ll keep that in mind. You mentioned food.”
“I changed my mind. I think we should stare lovingly into each other’s eyes for the night.”
“Sure,” I say, making my tone serious. “Or, we could order some pie.”
“Sold.” He grabs up the menu and quickly scans it. “Let me know what you want for dinner. I’ll call the front desk.”
“Oh, I want the French Dip. I’ll always say yes to a French Dip.”
He looks back at me, the receiver held to his ear. “That’s always a solid choice. Hi, yes. I’d like to put in an order for room service,” he says into the phone and puts in our order.
I move to the couch, pulling a blanket over my legs and snuggling into the soft space.
“What do you want to do after dinner?” he asks, joining me on the couch.
“I thought maybe we could just relax and watch some movies? Or is that too boring? What did you do with the others?”
I want to kick myself for the last question. Not only is it not my business, I also just don’t want to know. Thankfully, he acts like I didn’t even ask.
“Will you snuggle with me during the movie?”
“Hmm,” I hum, tapping my mouth with my finger, considering. “It’s going to cost you. ”
His eyes light up at my joking tone. “Oh, yeah? Have some laundry you need me to do? Or maybe some floors that need to be scrubbed?”
This is the most at ease I have seen Parker this entire time. While his kindness and humor remain unchanged, there’s a looseness that makes him even more appealing. Makes me fall for him even more. This could be our lives, if we left this show in a relationship. Spending time together after work, relaxing. The image paints itself in my mind and my heart starts to race.
“A kiss.” I may not be ready to have sex with him, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want him to touch me.
“Easy,” he says, almost lunging across the couch and planting a noisy, wet kiss on my lips. “There you go.”
I wipe away his affection with the back of my hand and he rests his hand on his chest, fake affront on his face.
“You didn’t let me finish.”
“Deepest apologies, please continue,” he says magnanimously.
“I want you to kiss me like you did in the bakery.” All humor drops from his expression and his eyes burn into mine.
“Like the bakery, huh?” Unlike last time, he moves slowly, with purpose. A squeak escapes me as he grabs my ankle and pulls me toward him, laying me out on the couch. “I can do that.”
He moves over me, holding the majority of his weight off me. I run my hands up his back, feeling his muscles twitch and pull him down on top of me.
“I don’t want to crush you,” he whispers as I spread my legs, letting him settle between them.
“You won’t,” I say before I capture his mouth .
Everything about it is perfect. We take our time tasting each other until he pulls away panting, making his way down my neck, littering kisses as he goes. He follows the neckline of my shirt until he’s kissing the swell of my breast, pulling the fabric down ever so slightly, bearing more skin to his attentions.
My nipples pebble beneath my lace bra, and I can tell he’s aching to suck them into his mouth.
My pulse thunders as I take a deep breath and twine my fingers in his hair, holding him to me tightly, higher than I want him to be, but not yet crossing that line. As his hands move under the hem of my shirt and tease the under-side of my breast, I consider throwing all my plans out the window and letting Parker take me.
That is, until the knock at the door has us springing apart like guilty teenagers.