9. Caelia
They exchangedtheir vows in front of a stunning arch adorned with flowers. As I watch Nario and Danielle, doubt creeps into my mind. Did Nario truly mean his vows, or did he promise to destroy Danielle as he leaned in for the kiss? Does she love him, or is she trying to put together a plan to run away? The venue is bathed in a white, cream, and ivory palette, with twinkling lights casting a warm and inviting glow. The reception hall exudes a romantic and intimate atmosphere, courtesy of the flowers and candles, but it makes my stomach churn. I have watched the white chairs arranged in neat rows and an aisle lined with rose petals leading up to the arch, and all I did was remember my wedding day, struggling not to throw up.
It should be a magical moment that the couple will always cherish. Until the nightmare sets in. I’m alone at the table, watching the happy couple perform their first dance as husband and wife. A wave of sadness washes over me. All the wedding plans I had envisioned and all the dreams for my special day have been shattered. Cosima is here, but I’ve been avoiding her. She’ll want to know how things are between me and Mattia, and I find that difficult to explain. An odd routine has set in between us. I lie in bed each night, dreaming of a better future free from him. A future where he’s dead. Yet, each morning, I wake up in his bed and continue my day. I go through the motions—sleeping, eating, showering—forcing countless smiles that strain my cheeks. I no longer recognize the person I share a bed with. I got used to living in a prison where Mattia is the warden who doesn’t care about my feelings or needs. Something has changed in the past few months. He makes a real effort to be different. I am unsure whether this change will last or is merely a phase. I cannot trust him enough to let my guard down and be grateful for his new attitude.
I spot my husband talking to his father at a nearby table. They both seem tense, and I try to catch what they say, but their tones are too low. I can’t make much out of it. The tension between them surprises me. Mattia has always idolized his father and is willing to do anything to please him. I’m thirsty and want to avoid speaking with one of my aunts heading my way, so I stand and make my way to the bar. Just as I am about to place an order, I feel a light touch on my lower back. Startled, I turn around and come face-to-face with my brother-in-law, Ludovic, standing behind me, his face inches from mine.
“I was hoping to catch you alone.” His eyes are filled with a spark of desire and mischief, making me sick.
Ludovic has always been a troublemaker. As Mattia’s younger brother, he has never been denied anything in his life. I attempt to step away from him, my heart pounding. He smirks, raising his eyebrows suggestively. He exudes confidence and arrogance in a way that repels me, carrying his tall, muscular frame as though he is the most important person in the room. Every inch of my skin crawls.
“Take your hands off me.” I grit my teeth.
He’s not listening; he inches closer, cornering me between a chair and his body. Leaning in, he whispers in my ear. “Mattia has promised to let me destroy your cunt, but he hasn’t delivered so far.”
My body tenses up as his breath tickles my skin. My embarrassment flushes my cheeks as he leans back, gazing deeply into my eyes. His hand finds its way into my hair, and he smirks, his lips tantalizingly close to mine. Time seems to freeze, and all I can do is stare back, questioning the truth in his words. I wouldn’t put it past Mattia to make such a promise, but it still tears my heart apart.
“Go fuck yourself, Ludovic! It will never happen, but it’s good to know what you’re dreaming about.”
“You little bitch,” he spits, gripping my waist and forcefully pushing me against the hard surface of the bar.
I can smell the alcohol on his breath, and the last thing I want is to cause a scene.
“Take your fucking hands off my wife, brother.”
Mattia materializes out of nowhere, grasping Ludovic’s wrist and twisting it behind his back. Ludovic groans, stepping away, allowing me a moment to catch my breath and try to process what had just happened. Mattia is livid, for whatever reason, and looks like he’s going to set his brother on fire. He has always been composed and in control, making his loss of control now even stranger. Ludovic smirks, whispering something to either calm him down or remind him of the promise he made him. Instead of listening, Mattia’s punch lands with a sickening thud, sending Ludovic reeling backward, but he quickly regains his balance.
“What the fuck is wrong with you, Mattia? The bitch ain’t worth it.”
People gathered around us, waiting to see what would happen next. I’m not sure how many saw exactly what happened, but there will be gossip, and if there’s something Mattia hates, it’s for people to talk about our marriage.
“Touch what’s not yours again, and you’ll lose your hands, brother or not. That’s my wife you’re talking about, shithead. Do I make myself understood?”
Rubbing my chest as if trying to keep my heart from escaping, I hurriedly walk away on wobbly legs, determined to put as much distance as possible between Mattia and myself. Knowing him, he will accuse me of enticing his brother. He will call me a whore and claim that I should have stayed home. Perhaps. I am confused.
“Caelia, wait!”
I run past the guests and inside the house. I have no idea where I’m going, but any place will do as long as Mattia can’t follow me. I make the mistake of looking over my shoulder. I’m wearing heels and am not a fast runner on a good day. I make a left and keep running, opening a door without caring where it leads, when he grabs my wrist, spinning me in his arms.
“Don’t touch me!” I glare at him, anger flashing in my eyes.
Mattia doesn’t listen. He steps forward, pushing me into the room and slamming the door behind us. He stands still, his jaw clenched, and his stormy eyes freeze me in place. We stand there in silence, tension thick in the air. So much unspoken anger and resentment hang between us.
“What the fuck did he say to you?”
“You mean you don’t already know?” I try to pull my hand away, but he refuses to let go.
“No, I don’t, Caelia. I am asking you once more. What did he say to you?”
My heart races as I look at him, a whirlwind of thoughts swirling in my mind. He struggles to rein in his emotions, his fist clenched tightly by his side. I hate him so much. I don’t know why he took my side in all of this, but this is so unlike him. He’s so close to Ludovic. What he did makes no sense. He’s too close, invading my personal space, making it difficult for me to breathe.
“Mattia has promised to let me destroy your cunt, but he hasn’t delivered so far. This is what he said.” My voice is quiet, but bitterness seeps through. “I hate you so much, Mattia!” I slam my fist into his chest. He doesn’t falter. “I despise you with every fiber of my being!” I strike him repeatedly. “This marriage is a goddamn joke!”
Releasing my other hand, he steps closer. We are inches apart, and I feel suffocated.
“I didn’t.” There is a subtle shift in his eyes that would be easy to overlook if I were not already holding his gaze. Surprise and hurt register briefly, but they are gone in a second.
My breath comes in short, angry bursts, my anger blinding me.
“I think you did, Mattia.” I laugh bitterly, tears blurring my vision. “Because you used to threaten to bring him to watch, remember?”
“Fuck, I never told him that, Caelia. You have my word that I’ll kill him if he ever touches you again.”
“Your word?” I pause, taking a step back, my chest heaving. We stare at each other for a few moments before I speak again. “Your word means nothing to me.” My voice softens.
He means nothing to me. I must remember my plan. Despite the hurt and betrayal, one of us will leave this marriage alive. It will be me. It has to be. I need to buy myself time to save some money first.