31. Kaz
I lean against the wall,my elbows resting on my knees. Caelia believes I abandoned her. Domenico told me she was angry. She refused to eat for a while but then changed her mind, realizing that starving herself was not the solution.
So many things went sideways recently. This situation with her, the attacks on Ermanno’s shipments. I need to return home soon, or who knows what might happen? Dmitri informed me that my uncle got into business with the Mexicans, and that won’t sit well with the Irish. I’m holding a meeting that Sevastyan knows nothing about to keep things under control until I can go back. I’m so close to putting an end to all this. Ermanno’s going to die tomorrow at his birthday party. Quite fitting. But there are too many loose ends. I have to speed up everything. Partly because of Caelia. Partly because I don’t trust anyone back home anymore.
I have been spending my nights here. Her nightmares returned and woke her up a couple of times, but in the darkness, her eyes never adjusted enough to see me standing here, watching, waiting for the moment when I would be able to tell her the truth about who I am and why I’m here—the truth about what she means to me. I will not leave New York without her. I will chain her to myself if I have to.
She will hate me. She will want to kill me. But at least she will get to live.
Tomorrow is the day Ermanno and Ludovic will die. Mattia will follow shortly after. But she has no place in that family of hers. Her mother treats her like shit. Her father barely acknowledges her. The only person standing by her side is her sister, but I doubt she will prioritize Caelia over her family if push comes to shove.
I’m always gone before she wakes up.
There are no more words to be exchanged between us. I see that now.
I will have to take what I want forcefully.
And what I want is her.
Standing up, I approach the bed. Caelia is curled close to the edge, her hand resting under her head. Closing my eyes, I gently caress her arm with my fingertips. Her skin is as soft as I remember; her scent is intoxicating. Her eyes open slowly, wide, and scared.
“Mattia?” Her voice is groggy with sleep. It takes her a moment to comprehend what’s happening. “What are you doing here?”
“Domenico passed on your message,” I say, sitting at the edge of the bed.
She sits up, not making any move to run away from me.
“What message?” She rubs her eyes.
“To go fuck myself,” I remind her.
“Oh, that. Yes, I might have said that. And you’re here to ... what? To remind me I’m your property? Fuck me like a whore again?”
Fuck. About that. I now see how I have fucked up. I have to deal with the consequences of my actions because I hadn’t thought too long before acting. I should ask for her forgiveness, but I know she has none to give. I should apologize, but I know it won’t make any difference.
“Is that what you want?”
“What I want is irrelevant.”
No, it was never irrelevant to me. But I can’t tell her I’m not him, even though I played the part quite well at some point. I have spent so much time trapped inside his head, always asking myself what Mattia would do, that I’ve lost parts of myself. I messed up. I should have considered what Domenico said. She cared enough for me to want to go back and make sure I was okay after hearing the gunshots. I doubt that’s still the case.
“I’m not here to fight with you, Wildfire.”
I’m here because I’m so fucking tired of it all. The lies, the secrets, the revenge. All I want is to go back home, back to my business, back to where everything is familiar, where I don’t have to look over my shoulder every second.
“What are you here for? Do you want me to strip and get down on my knees?”
“Yes.”
Silence. I will teach her one day to think before she speaks. The fire inside her is very amusing, but tonight is not the night to challenge me. Every action or word she utters has consequences. One day, I’m going to teach her that.
“What?” Her voice breaks.
“Do it,” I demand. “Strip and get down on your knees.”
“No.”
“You can do it willingly, or I can make you.”
I didn’t come here to fuck her. She learned nothing from the last time. She keeps fighting me every step of the way.
“Mattia—”
“Now, Caelia. Before I lose my patience.”
I’m tired of hearing his name on her lips. It sickens me, and my vision blurs slightly. Hesitantly, she stands up. It’s too dark to see anything beyond her silhouette, but I imagine she’s throwing daggers my way. She undresses slowly, doing everything she can to not panic. But I can hear her ragged breath. She falls on her knees in front of me. The image alone is enough to make me hard. I’m done being gentle with her. It has done me no good so far. She places her palms on my knees, sliding them slowly up my thighs. I loosen my tie and unbutton my jeans, freeing my cock.
“I don’t have all night,” I warn her.
It contradicts the resistance she always puts up. I spread my knees wider, my head falling back as she sucks on the tip, swirling her tongue around it. I grip the sheet in my hands, trying to restrain myself from touching her. Her movements grow less hesitant as she takes more of my length into her mouth, cupping my balls. Damn it! Just one touch from her is enough to drive me insane. I place one hand under her chin, and my other hand fists her hair. She surrenders all power and control to me, remaining still as I thrust in and out of her mouth. Saliva drips down my hand as she struggles to swallow. I have longed for her over the past month, and my cock is throbbing so intensely that I’m ready to explode inside her mouth.
“Tell me another poisonous lie, Wildfire.”
I love this game. The words that escape her mouth always surprise me.
“I missed you.”
Except this one isn’t a lie. We both know it. Her voice is always too low and quiet when she lies as if fighting to acknowledge the truth herself.
“Get on the bed and spread your legs for me.”
She stands in the middle of her bed on her hands and knees, but there’s a problem.
“Lie on your back, Caelia.” I undress deliberately.
“No.”
“No?” I laugh, crawling behind her. Grabbing her waist, I spin her around. She lands on her back with a grunt. “You don’t want to look into my eyes when I fuck you?” She shakes her head. “Too bad, because you will,” I say as I rub the tip of my cock against her clit. She holds back a moan I would give anything to hear. “The only flaw in your plan to resist me, Caelia, is this,” I go on as I glide my fingers between her legs, coating them in wetness. I bring my fingers to her mouth. “See for yourself.” She opens her mouth and sucks my fingers. I don’t even have to ask. “Your pussy is dripping for me.”
She didn’t want me in the kitchen. I know this. She didn’t get any pleasure from it. But sucking my cock has aroused her. She craves me. Her lies have turned into truths. Resting my elbows on either side of her head, I thrust my hips forward. Her head tilts back, her delicate neck inviting me to mark her, to bite her. I bend her right leg around my waist, smoothly sliding in and out of her. There’s no fight left in her as I kiss her, her lips parting, her tongue entwining with mine.
“What are you doing to me?” There’s so much pain in her voice that it makes my heart skip a beat.
“I’m piecing together your shattered pieces.”
“Funny, since you’re the one who broke me in the first place.”
God, I’m addicted to her body. I hit home as I sink into her. She moves her hips against my pelvis, clenching the sheet in her fists. Something inside her is undeniably broken now, but not in the way she thinks. Some fragments have been shattered, but as a whole, she’s not irreparable. Those pieces broke every time she bent. Mattia caused most of the damage, but I also take full responsibility for my role. I wanted to break her that day in the kitchen, only to make her realize that she didn’t mean what she said.
“That’s it, baby. Take what you need.”
I lean back, my fingers digging into her waist. I pause, watching her hips roll and her pussy clench on my cock. Pressing my thumb on her clit, I move it in steady circles with enough pressure to make her murmur. She stands on her elbows, eyes glued to where our bodies are joined. She loses focus, her movements growing uncoordinated, using my body to get off. Her knees squeeze my waist as her body convulses, the orgasm hitting her in waves. I’m not far behind. Placing a hand on her neck, keeping her head still on the pillow, I force her to look at me as I come inside her.
“Fuck!” I sigh, collapsing on top of her, our foreheads resting together for a moment before she turns her head.
I’m forced to grip her chin. I’m sick of forcing her to look at me.
“Why is it so hard for you to look at me, Wildfire? What do you have to hide?”
“Nothing,” she lies.
“Do you hate me so much that you can’t stand to look at me? Do I make you sick?”
I never realized how delicate her neck is, but now that my hand is pressed against it, feeling her erratic pulse beneath my skin, I can’t think of anything else.
“Yes.”
“My Queen of Lies.” I kiss her forcefully before rising to my feet. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Fuck you!”
There’s no bite in her words.
Maybe she won’t fight me as much as I think she will when I uproot her from this life and take her with me.