76. Caelia
Kaz remainssilent the entire ride back home. I wish I could say something to make this better, but he doesn’t look like he’s going to listen. Sevastyan killed his grandfather, and I killed his uncle. He has already lost so much, and I can’t help but wonder if he’s nearing his breaking point. Our relationship hasn’t been great in the past month. Since that night in the shower, I have made it clear that I will still be leaving, no matter what he does. It wasn’t fair, and he deserves better, but I’m almost out of his life.
We tried to carry on with our lives, but I’ve burned the bridge between us, and there’s no going back unless I choose to stay. He continued training me, and I continued working on his accounting records, but some nights, it felt like we were strangers again. He was right. I cried because I love him and don’t want to leave, even though he wants me to stay.
I’ve been pacing repeatedly for the past hour since I stepped out of the shower. I can’t seem to warm up, no matter what I do. Then there’s a knock on my door. I find Domenico standing there, wearing an apologetic expression.
“Kaz wants to see you,” he says.
“What’s wrong?”
“He just called for a meeting and wants you there.”
“Let me change.”
“You need to go now.”
“Fine.” I wrap my robe tightly around me, crossing my arms.
Domenico follows closely behind me as we descend the stairs as if he has been instructed not to leave me alone.
“I shouldn’t have pushed you like that, Caelia. I’m sorry.”
He looked furious when he found me outside the house, and while I would have been relieved to see him under different circumstances, he grabbed me by the arm and dragged me inside.
“Just don’t do it again, Dom.”
Kaz is more dangerous than I am, and sometimes I forget that. But now and then, I’m reminded of who he is. I stood by his side when he killed Konstantin for stealing from him. I took a life because I was afraid the gun would be aimed at him next. I’m becoming too comfortable in this new life with him. Vanya will probably never forgive me for what I did. Kaz is angry that I followed him. Dom is cautious with his behavior around me after Kaz snapped at him. He knocks on Kaz’s office door, waiting for permission before entering. I didn’t expect to find Vanya in there. Dom closes the door behind me, choosing not to enter the office. It’s just Kaz, Vanya, and me.
“You wanted to see me?” I frown, unsure of why I was here.
I’m not familiar with the code these men live by. Perhaps Kaz will push me away because I killed a family member. I swallow, unable to decipher anything from his expression. He stands up and moves behind the office chair.
“Take a seat, Caelia.”
I don’t want to, but he leaves me no choice. Their eyes bore into me as I approach, circling the desk. I sit down. Kaz’s presence behind me sends shivers down my spine.
“Some things will change from now on,” he begins. Vanya reclines in his chair, looking weary. He doesn’t seem too broken over his father’s death, but he’s the hardest person to read that I’ve ever encountered. “Sevastyan killed Dedushka, as you know.” Vanya frowns, appearing surprised by the news. “My wife followed me tonight,” Kaz continues in English, ensuring nothing is lost in translation. “And she killed Sevastyan.”
“That was my kill.” Vanya narrows his eyes.
“She saved my life. We all reacted too slowly tonight, and it was my mistake to place my trust in this family one last time. I got our grandfather killed. One of his men was working with Sevastyan. It’s the only explanation for how he managed to enter the meeting armed.”
Kaz places his hand on my shoulder. I cover it with mine, wanting to say many things but biting my tongue. The air feels heavy, and I’m uncertain where this meeting is heading.
“You didn’t.” Vanya shakes his head. “His blood is on my father’s hands, not yours. And the fucking traitor deserved to die. I had hoped I would be the one to put a bullet in his head. You should’ve told me about the meeting, Kaz. I would have advised against trusting my father to honor Dedushka’s deal.”
“Caelia warned me about it, and I didn’t listen. That’s on me.” Vanya nods as if no one else could have convinced Kaz of this fact. “Here’s what will happen next. Vanya, you will take over everything Sevastyan owned. I know it’s a shitty legacy, but I trust you will do what’s right. However, you will no longer work for me.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Vanya protests.
“I’m firing you and promoting you at the same time. You, Katarina, and I are the only ones left of the Mordvinov family. Katarina has decided not to involve herself in any family business. At least for now. She has moved halfway across the world to avoid getting entangled in this mess, and we will respect her decision.”
I wonder how different my life would’ve been if I had a brother like Kaz, someone to protect me and allow me the freedom to do whatever I wanted, which is stupid because I have him as my husband, and I still crave the freedom his sister has.
“I get what you’re trying to do, but I want nothing to do with my father’s business.”
“You can shut down whatever you decide to shut down. I know he has a prostitution ring you disagree with, so maybe start from there,” Kaz suggests. I’m still trying to figure out where I fit in this. “I’m sure that now that Dedushka is gone, lost cousins and shit will pop up, making claims. We’ll meet with his attorney in the morning, trying to get a read of the will as soon as possible, and we’ll start from there.”
“Where does Caelia fit into all of this?” Vanya asks the same question that’s been burning the tip of my tongue.
“My wife would be the greatest asset this family has ever seen. She’d be a great accountant, keeping all the records straight. Her intuition is never wrong, and she might save our lives—God knows how many times—in the long run. She’d never betray us. But ... ” He pauses, squeezing my shoulder. “Our agreement will end soon.”
Vanya frowns, staring at me with a cold gaze.
“But I thought?—”
“That she’ll stay?” Kaz interrupts him with a sneer. “No, she clarified that she would not be my wife for long.”
My heart shrinks. Kaz has been composed so far, but his voice breaks now, breaking me.
“This was a short-term agreement.” I tilt my head, throwing him a look over my shoulder.
“Yes, it was,” he replies without looking at me.
I turn my head, being met by Vanya’s disapproving look. He doesn’t agree with any of this. He never did, and now I understand why. I can’t be mad at him for his hostility. I’d do the same thing if I were him.
“I asked her here to make sure there’s no resentment for killing your father. I don’t want any other dead family members. I’m sure you can understand that.”
Family members. Kaz thinks of me as family, and God knows that he’s proven this enough times to make my heart melt. I’m here because he trusts me.
“My resentment toward you has nothing to do with my father,” he assures me.
“No, you just despise me for being myself.” I scoff, aware that this is not entirely true.
“No, Caelia,” he retorts, curling his lips into an arrogant smirk. “I despise you because?—”
“Ivan, that’s enough,” Kaz interrupts him.
“You’ve fired me, so you can’t boss me around anymore,” he smirks.
“That doesn’t mean I can’t kick you out of my house.”
“Let him speak, Kaz,” I interject, feeling I deserve to hear whatever he says.
“You see? She wants to hear what I have to say. So here it is. I despise you because you have a one-track mind and refuse to compromise. You’re unwilling to bend. To see what’s right in front of you.”
“That’s enough.”
“Stop it, Kaz,” I insist, knowing nothing he has said so far is untrue.
“You don’t think this life is good enough for you.” Vanya scoffs. “You think Kaz is not enough for you. And I wish he’d see things differently. I wish you would’ve stayed in New York.”
He’s right and wrong at the same time. I’m unwilling to compromise, and I will be until I get to see what the alternative to this life is.
“Leave us,” Kaz demands.
His cousin nods, standing up and leaving before I can find the words to respond. But I know deep down that nothing I say can make things better.
“You should go to bed too, Caelia. Thank you for saving my life.”
I’ve never felt dismissed by Kaz before, but it’s clear that he has had enough of me for today. I follow in Vanya’s footsteps, ignoring the part of me that wants to stay and fix this.