Chapter 11
Eleven
Thirst. Thirst. Thirst.
No. He had to be stronger. He had to be.
Thirst. Thirst. Thirst.
Back in the car. Door shut. Hands on steering wheel. But nowhere to go. The traffic jam would last an hour or more if the cops didn’t direct them onto the shoulder, onto the exit. He had to get out of here. Away from the blood. Away from the—
Thirst. Thirst. Thirst.
“Tai?”
A thousand needles raced over his skin in waves. He held onto the wheel. This was his anchor. He had to hold onto it. So he couldn’t leave the car. Couldn’t go out and find a fresh source of the—
Thirst. Thirst. Thirst.
“Tai, are you okay?”
Fight it. Be stronger. He was so cold. So unbearably cold. “We’re probably going to be here a while.”
His voice came out dry and rough, and Claire shot him a look of concern. “Probably, unless they get a cop down here to direct people onto the shoulder to the exit. I guess until they do, we can’t drive there.”
But he had to. He had to get away from the scents, the sounds, the injured humans. He focused on Claire’s voice and ordered himself to be still. Calm. In control.
“If neither of us has to sleep tonight, I guess another hour’s okay. Just knowing everyone made it out of there alive, that’s all that matters.”
He nodded. Flexed his hands on the wheel. Hold on. Just hold on.
“I could definitely use a slaking at the moment,” she said. “I don’t know if I’ve ever expended that much energy that fast before.”
Slaking. Thirst. Need. Thirst. So cold.
“You’ve gone really quiet. I don’t want to pry, but are you sure nothing’s wrong?”
Another nod. “I’m fine.”
“That truck was monstrous. On our abilities scale, you must fall on the strength side.”
“No, that’s Ryker.” His voice wasn’t improving, and she turned to study him as he forced out more words past the slow closing of his throat. It would continue to close, to ache, until he was able to—
Thirst. Thirst. Thirst.
“Tai?”
He swallowed a few times. “Ryker’s always been stronger than me. I’m fast, and I can run or swim all day, but brute strength takes more out of me.”
“How do you know Ryker’s stronger? This sounds like the two of you have put it to the test.”
A smile found his mouth despite the struggle inside him.
For a moment, he felt something almost like relief, and his throat opened a little as he thought of his best friend.
“We’ve done a lot of sparring. He can throw me farther than I can throw him, but he’s got to get hold of me first. He’s not much for speed. ”
“Sparring partners? That’s amazing. I hope you keep each other humble.”
“Definitely.”
Thirst. Thirst. Thirst.
“Tai?”
“It’s fine. I’m fine.”
He tried to keep talking as the minutes crept by and the thirst grew claws that tore his throat.
He tried. But the scent of blood. The aftermath of such intense exertion, physical and emotional, seeing the fear of those kids, the pain in George’s eyes while he yelled at Tai to hide it. The taste of blood in the air.
Half an hour. Trapped in the car. With the thirst. He tried to compose a melody in his head, something calm and quiet, but the notes pounded like a racing human heart, and the entire song flowed down the keys like blood from a wound.
His fangs were down. He was unraveling. Faster by the minute. With a witness. The worst possible witness.
“Tai.” Her voice spiked with fear. “Tai, talk to me.”
She’d been trying for the last ten minutes to get a response from him.
But he couldn’t talk to her. He couldn’t look at her.
Or she would know. He rested his forehead against the wheel.
Another point of contact. The anchor. Hold on.
Just hold on. Get through it. Outlast. Until he could start driving again.
Thirst. Thirst. Thirst. Thirst. Thirst.
Her hand rested on his shoulder, and she made a small sound of concern. Of course she felt the tension in him. He couldn’t breathe right now if he tried. Thirst. Cold. Needles moving over his skin. Throat closing, cleaving, aching. Thirst.
“I’m going to call Ryker. You said he knows you better than anyone. Will he know what’s wrong?”
He couldn’t let Ryker be the one to tell her.
No one was supposed to tell her. No one. Ever.
But if someone had to, it had to be him. No one else.
“Okay. I’m going to call him. Just stay with me. I’m here.”
“No,” he rasped.
Her hand tightened on his shoulder. “No?”
“No.”
“Then you have to talk to me, Tai. I know something’s wrong.”
“I can’t…” The effort of talking only increased the ache. “I can’t.”
“Then I’m going to call Ryker, so you don’t have to talk.”
“No.”
“You’re all raspy, like Ryker gets when he forgets to slake. Did you forget?”
“No.” His brain could respond only to direct questions while he fought. Fought so hard. Everything in him, fighting. Struggling to—
Thirst. Thirst. Thirst. Thirst. Thirst.
“So this has nothing to do with thirst?”
He clawed at the ache in his throat. He couldn’t speak.
“That’s it,” she whispered, relief in her voice because she didn’t understand, thought he was normal.
“Ryker gets like this sometimes when he’s obsessing on a case, but you know that, right?
He’ll skip a slaking and come into my bar with his eyes full silver.
Though I guess it’s harder to see that on you, because your eyes are already metallic. Is that how I missed it?”
She was trying to distract him with chatter. She didn’t understand.
“Okay.” Her voice gentled when he still couldn’t respond. “Once we exit up ahead, we’re close to Slake It Off. I’ll drive us. Just switch places with me. You can do that, right?”
He couldn’t think. Couldn’t hear her. Slake It Off? She’d once said he was banned. So if she was going there, then she was going away. His hand shot out and gripped her wrist.
Instantly Claire broke his grip and shoved him into the door. “You do not grab me like that, Tai. I don’t care how thirsty you are.”
“Don’t leave me.”
“Who said anything about leaving? What is wrong with you?”
Tell her. He had to fight harder, fight hard enough to tell her. Words. Tell her the truth she was never supposed to know. Tell her and watch her eyes go cold, watch her walk away forever, hear her tell him never to contact her again.
“I’m a bloodfiend,” he said.
He hid his face in his hands and bowed over at the weight of the truth he’d just spoken into the air. She would always know now. And this final thing was too much. He groaned as the thirst reminded him of every human he’d just rescued, bleeding humans, vulnerable humans.
PREY.
The word screamed in his head. He should dart back to the scene and…
HUNT THE PREY. TAKE THE PREY.
No. No, he wouldn’t. Never. They were people. Not prey. Never prey, even if the thirst killed him someday. People. “Please don’t leave me. I don’t want to hurt them.”
“You think you’d hurt humans if you were alone right now?” she whispered.
“I don’t know. I never have, but I don’t know. Claire, please.”
He couldn’t lift his head. The shame weighed too much.
“I won’t leave you, Tai. I’ll stay right here.”
Gently her hand settled on the back of his neck, and her thumb drew a slow, soothing circle at the base of his hairline. He wanted to weep. She knew the worst truth about him, and still she was willing to touch him.