Chapter 17 #2
“I need you to keep this in confidence,” Claire said. “You can’t tell Aaron.”
“Because he’s a wolf?”
“Even if he were human. Tai gave me permission to tell you, but only you.”
“Okay. You have my word.”
Wolves and their mates were bonded as intensely as vampire eternals. For Ember, not sharing something this important with her wolf would feel unnatural. “Thanks, Ember.”
“So what’s a bloodfiend?”
Claire told her. Everything.
“Oh, Claire. Isn’t there any help for him?”
“There’s no cure. The condition is super rare, but it’s genetic. I know another bloodfiend who comes into Slake It Off sometimes, and it’s hard on him too, but…I think it’s worse for Tai. I don’t know why, maybe age. This other vampire is a couple centuries old.”
“Whoa,” Ember whispered. “I remember you saying he remarked on odors once or twice in a way that made you think he was extra odor-sensitive. And when I started dating Aaron, I thought, well, if they do get together, we won’t be able to double date if Tai can’t handle the scent of a wolf.”
Claire had nearly forgotten that old clue. He hadn’t mentioned it often. Ember, on the other hand, clearly forgot nothing Claire said. Ever.
Still sounding softer than her usual self, Ember said, “What about therapy? Coping skills? I know you said it’s physical, not psychological, but it could still help to talk through his experience with somebody.”
Despite the weight on her chest, Claire chuckled. “Who are you, and what have you done with Ember Reed?”
“I’ve taken Ember Reed and her inner little girl to a really great therapist,” Ember said. “And you know it’s changed my life.”
“I do, and I’m glad.” Claire wished they weren’t separated by hundreds of miles.
For a conversation like this one, she wished they could sit together on her couch.
“Maybe the other bloodfiend I know goes to therapy; I have no idea. But I think he can help Tai, even if all they do is compare notes so Tai isn’t alone with this.
I gave Tai his number—with his permission, of course. ”
“Oh, good. Sounds like a good first step for Tai.”
“I hope so.”
“Claire, you told me how it is for him, living as a bloodfiend. How is it for you, dating one?”
“It isn’t his fault,” Claire said, maybe too fast.
“No, I get that.”
“It’s…” Tears sprang to her eyes. Where was this coming from? She blinked hard, but a few fell anyway. “I think he’s been in pain for a really long time. I don’t think he’s told me everything yet.”
Ember didn’t respond for a minute. At last she said, “How do you feel about it?”
“I hate it.” More tears. Shoot. “I hate it, Ember. I can’t fix it for him. I can’t keep him from hurting. I’m falling in love with him and I can’t help him.”
Ember stayed quiet while Claire swiped at her tears, buried the rest of them.
Then she said, “You’ve already helped him.
You gave him that other vampire’s number.
You talked him through the—the episode or whatever it was—after the highway accident.
And you didn’t throw him away, Claire, when he obviously thought you would.
You’re staying with him through this. All of that sounds like really great ways to help. ”
“Staying with him is easy,” Claire said. “He’s so worth it. He’s so…so smart and musical and kind and organized and the hottest kisser on the planet.”
Ember burst out laughing. “Everything you ever wanted in a man. Kind, organized, and a hot kisser.”
“Don’t forget musical.”
“I’d be taking you to task if you were staying for his sake over yours. He’s got to make your life better, not worse—otherwise you dump his butt.”
“You know I would.”
“That said, though, for someone who deals with shame, it’s a big thing when a person finds out about their struggle and then stays.”
“Oh,” Claire said. She’d known that, yet somehow she’d missed the application to Tai. “That’s true. Thanks.”
“I was right,” Ember said with a little chuckle. “All this time, I was right. You two just needed a ridiculous amount of time to get your acts together.”
They really had. Claire could wish he’d told her sooner, wish she’d been ready to listen sooner. But maybe their timing was meant to be. Ember’s wolf pack would call it fate.
“I know it’s only been a few weeks,” Ember said, “but you sound extremely serious about him. Or should I say eternally serious?”
“Maybe not. He says he can’t be bloodbound.” Claire couldn’t hold back the wince as she said it.
Ember was quiet a moment, knowing the significance. Knowing the story…of Claire. “Okay, that’s tough. But I can see how, with his condition, it might not be safe.”
“I don’t believe that for one minute. He just needs time to be ready, to trust himself, so my job is to be patient until he is.”
Ember was quiet a moment. “Claire, are you sure…? I mean, if he said pointblank that he can’t, maybe he really can’t.”
Claire’s heart gave an extra hard beat. Her breath froze at the horrible possibility. Ember was wrong. Tai was trustworthy. It was a recent concept, but she’d already latched onto it, and she wouldn’t let her grip be loosened now.
“He can,” she said.
Ember paused again, then seemed to decide something. “How will you feel if you’re wrong about this?”
“I like him a lot. I mean, I really, really like him a lot.”
“A minute ago you said you were falling in love with him.”
“No, I didn’t…did I?”
“Definitely did.”
A slow smile took over her face. Falling in love. With Tai. The panic retreated, overwhelmed by certainty. “I’m not scared of it. I want it.”
“Okay, I believe you, but we’ve also talked for years about your being scared. That you’d fall for someone who didn’t want to be bloodbound, who’d take off like your dad.”
“Where’s Dad, though? Will he come next week?”
“Claire, you’re ten years old now. You’re too old to keep asking for your dad.”
“But when is he coming back? Why can’t I know when?”
Claire blinked away the memory of her mother’s tight frown, the way she wouldn’t meet Claire’s eyes. She rubbed her thumb over the inside of her arm, over her tattoo. Feather of strength. “Tai does want it. We’ll be bloodbound eventually, Em. You’ll see.”
“Okay. I really hope he can. I’m rooting for y’all.”
“I know it seems fast, knowing already that I want a life with him. But I do.”
“Woman, you’re talking to someone who committed herself to a lifelong bond approximately two weeks after meeting her wolf.”
“Um, there were some major extenuating circumstances in your case,” Claire said.
“My point is, I knew. Yeah, I rushed in. If Quinn ever tries to do romance the way Aaron and I did it, I’ll give him several pieces of my mind. But I knew Aaron was my wolf. No doubt in my mind or my heart, completely sure.”
Ember’s words sank into Claire’s own mind and heart, whispered as if to a mirror.
Until this conversation, this very moment, the certainty had been growing inside, not ready for words yet, not wholly conscious, but now…
She saw him distractingly hot in a tuxedo, owning the gala stage, speaking with passion about helping those who couldn’t help themselves.
She saw him gently prying a stupid turtle off his foot.
She saw him caved over her bar, head on his arms, shaking with the aftermath of his pain, and she saw him standing strong and supportive beside Ryker at the wedding, smiling with joy for his friends, delivering a toast that was funny and real and appreciative of people he loved.
She closed her eyes and saw it all. She felt his fingers in her hair, felt his lips on hers, his lean muscles shifting under her hands as she held on to him and insisted on more of his kiss.
And she knew more strongly than ever: someday soon, he’d be ready, and they would be bloodbound.
“I’m sure,” she said. “I’m so completely sure.”