Chapter Thirty One Fuck This
Chapter Thirty One
Fuck This
I
t’s been two days since Levy’s been gone and I still haven’t heard from him.
No calls.
No texts.
Not even a sign that he’s bothered to look at his phone. I’m furious—and at the same time, worried sick. Where the fuck is he? And who the hell is he with?
I can’t decide which hurts more—the fact that most of his shit is gone or not knowing whose bed he might be in right now. Both feel like knives twisting just as deep in my heart. He doesn’t owe me a report of his every move—but this? This is different. And so unlike him.
I lay stretched across the bed, scrolling through videos I’m not even watching. The glow from the screen painting my exposed skin in soft blue light, the sound muffled by the weight pressing down on my chest. Every second of silence feeling heavier than the last.
Then suddenly an unknown number flashes across the screen.
My fingers still. My pulse hammering in my throat as I stare, debating whether to answer or let it go to voicemail. Just briefly, I’m scared of who might be on the other end.
But something in me caves.
I swipe to answer, lifting the phone to my ear. “Hello?”
There’s a pause. Then I hear it—a voice I’d recognize anywhere.
“Babe, it’s me. It’s me—Levy.”
For a split second, relief hits me like air after drowning—then rage follows. My voice cracks under the weight of both.
“Are you fucking serious right now? Two days, Levy. Two fucking days and I haven’t heard anything from you.
You’re lucky I don’t mess with the police, because I was this close to reporting you missing.
Do you have any idea what you’ve put me through?
I’ve been calling, texting, thinking something happened to you—wondering if you were fucking dead.
And you couldn’t give me one call? One text? ”
He exhales slowly, his tone maddeningly calm. “Relax, beautiful. I’m fine. I’m in Vegas with the guys and some friends. It was a last-minute thing—we decided to go for the weekend. My phone died, and I just got a chance to charge it.”
I sit up, blood rushing hot in my ears.
“You’re in Vegas? Are you kidding me, Levy?
Who else are you with? You disappear—pack up your shit, leave me with no explanation—and now you’re telling me you’re in Las Vegas, fucking around like it’s not a big deal?
It’s been two days! You couldn’t borrow someone’s phone to let me know you’re alive? ”
“I didn’t think it was that serious,” he snaps, defensive now. “It’s just a trip, Jaine. The guys wanted to go, and I didn’t want to miss out. I figured you’d understand once I told you—it’s the weekend and Blair said she’d be fine for the weekend. I’m not trying to ignore you.”
“Understand? I don’t care that’s it’s the weekend.
” My voice comes out sharp, raw. “Do you even hear yourself? You vanished, Levy. You vanished without any explanation—you left here going crazy, thinking the worst. Wondering if you’re with someone else, or if you’re even alive.
And you call me two days later like it’s nothing?
How am I supposed to just understand that? ”
There’s a pause—I can almost hear the irritation in his breath before he finally speaks.
“You’re overthinking again,” he says flatly. “Why do you always have to make it about girls? I told you, I’m with some friends. That’s it.”
My laugh cuts through the line—sharp, bitter. “Don’t you dare fucking gaslight me, Levy. I saw the bitches on your phone. Don’t tell me I’m overthinking when the proof is sitting right there in your hand. You think I’m that na?ve? You think I don’t know what’s going on?”
His voice shifts, low and hard. “So now I can’t even have female friends without you accusing me of something? Damn, Jainey. I can’t breathe without you turning it into a problem.”
“Friends?” I spit the word like it burns my tongue, pacing the room in quick, sharp steps.
My voice rises, shaking with fury. “Friends don’t send the kind of messages I saw.
Friends don’t slide into your messages with hearts and late-night where you at texts.
And if it’s all so innocent, why the hell didn’t you say anything?
Why did you run off to Vegas and leave me here like I don’t matter to hang out with those friends? ”
“I didn’t run off,” he snaps, frustration seeping through. “I told you—it was a last minute thing. I didn’t have time to explain—”
“Didn’t have time to explain? That’s bullshit and you know it!” The word rips out of me, cracking under the weight of my rage. Tears sting my eyes as I whip around, pacing faster, every word firing like a bullet.
“You had time to pack your clothes. Time to book your little trip. But you didn’t have thirty goddamn seconds to send me a text? To say, Hey babe, I’m going out of town? And don’t you dare tell me it was about not having time, Levy. It was about you not wanting to.”
I stop in the middle of the room, chest heaving, gripping the phone so hard my fingers are on fire.
“Listen Jainey, you’re making this way bigger than it is.”
I let out a bitter laugh, my voice breaking into a shout. “No, Levy—you made it big. You’re the one who left me here questioning everything. You’re the one who chose everyone else—over me. And now you want me to just swallow it down like it doesn’t cut open another wound you left?”
He sighs, heavier this time, frustration dragging in his tone. “Look, Jainey… yeah, I was with one of the girls earlier, okay? But it doesn’t mean anything. We were just—just hanging out by the pool. You’re the one I come home to, so can we just stop arguing.”
I freeze mid-step, my whole body going rigid. “You what?” The words tear from my throat, broken and loud. I grip the dresser for balance, my nails digging into the wood. “After everything you have the fucking nerve to tell me you were with one of them?”
“It’s not like that, I swear—it’s not what you think—” he fumbles, panic creeping in.
“Not what I think?” I cut him off, fury rattling through me, every step pounding the floor. “Levy, you just admitted it.”
“You lied to me. Repeatedly. And now you’re cheating on me—messing with other women behind my back—and you expect me to chalk it up to nothing? You’re a liar, Levy. A cheater. And I refuse to let you gaslight me into doubting what’s right in front of me.”
My chest heaves as I drag in a shaky breath, tears streaming freely now. With a choked sound that’s half laugh, half sob, I whisper, “I can’t even…”
Before he can say another word—I hang up. The phone slips from my hand onto the floor. I stare at the blank space around me, the room spinning, air catching in my throat. Lost for words. Lost for air.
Completely shattered.
My thoughts turn savage, ripping into me.
How could I actually believe he’d stay faithful when he’s had a baby on the way with another woman from the start?
The signs were always there—right in front of me—and I ignored them like a fool because I wanted so badly for us to be genuine—to be the fairytale I yearned for.
I sit on the bed, wrapping my arms around myself, rocking. The fury and heartbreak colliding until I can barely hold it in. “God, I’m so fucking stupid,” I whisper to the empty room, my voice breaking apart.
I feel so pathetic for giving him my heart. For trusting him when all he did is carve pieces out of it and throw them away. Every memory of him—every laugh, every kiss, every fake-ass I love you—feels like poison now, replaying in my head just to terrorize me.
Merciless, burning-hot tears spill down my face until my cheeks sting. I curse under my breath, dragging my blanket around me, my makeup smeared and ruined.
But I don’t care.
I don’t care if my phone dies.
I don’t care if tomorrow comes.
Fuck all of it.
My chest jerks with ragged sobs, my body trembling like it’s trying to shake him out of me. Between the cries, words spill out—“liar,” “cheater,” “piece of shit”—as if naming it can dull the sting.
But it doesn’t. And unfortunately, I don’t know what will.
The sunlight spills through the blinds like the world is moving on without me, and that’s the cruelest part.
I cuddle up deeper into the blanket, exhaustion wrapping around me like chains. I just need a nap—to escape the wreckage of him, even if it’s only for a little while.