Chapter Forty Four My Turn
Chapter Forty Four
My Turn
T
he town slides by outside my window as I drive, my bag riding shotgun, stuffed with bills and crumpled clothes. The radio hums low, but I’m not really listening—my mind’s too busy replaying everything.
I really fucking did that.
I can still feel the heat of the lights, the weight of the music thrumming through my body, the crowd’s eyes locked on me like I belonged there. The girls were right. I walked in nervous, doubting myself, and walked out with a new job and a new alter ego.
Cold air presses in as I turn down quieter streets, my breath fogging the windows in slow curls. The chill seeps through, a contrast that only makes the warmth clinging to my skin feel heavier, and harder to ignore.
The voice of the GPS breaks my thoughts, giving the last few turns. My stomach twists with nervous excitement. I’ve never been to his place before. We’ve met up, gone places—but never here.
The neighborhood is calm in that practiced way—white fences, neat lawns, porch lights glowing like nothing ever goes wrong here.
Every house on the street mirrors the next—his is the exception.
The layout is the same, but the details shift everything.
From here, it already feels like stepping into his world.
Cream siding edged in black lines too clean to be accidental, dark-framed windows giving the house a cold, assertive presence.
I slow to a stop, my gaze lingering. The house fits him to well— masculine and sharp with money woven into every detail.
I wonder what he does for work. Around here, anyone with real money always has their hands dirty.
Especially someone his age. He said his dad own properties, but I can’t help but wonder if that’s all he does.
The deeper I get with those sexy-ass brothers, the more I feel myself stepping into a territory I thought I’d never touch.
I barely finish pulling into the driveway before the front door wings open.
Saint steps out, sculpted figure settling into the doorframe, his tattooed chest glistening under the porch light.
I step out of the car, the cold night air biting into my skin, goosebumps rising instantly.
My heels click sharply against the pavement, loud in the quiet night.
His stare tracks me as I close the distance. He’s barefoot and shirtless, water still clinging at his temples like he hasn’t fully dried off. Gray sweatpants hang low on his hips, making no real attempt to hide what’s there.
The sight alone makes my pussy throb.
“Damn pretty,” he murmurs, voice rough as his lips curve into the sexiest smile. “You really pulled up ready to get that little pussy wrecked. Good girl.”
His eyes move over me slowly, the corner of his mouth twitching like he’s fighting a grin. “Look at you… I bet you’re wet already for me too huh pretty?”
I tilt my head, letting my smile linger. “Maybe. But you’re not getting anything with me freezing my ass off.”
He closes the distance in one step, his mouth finding mine without hesitation. The rest of the neighborhood disappearing the second his lips touch mine. He breaks the kiss just long enough to move us, his hand never leaving my back as he steers me inside, shutting the door behind us.
Dark wood floors stretch through the open layout, the faint scent of his earthy cologne hanging in the air.
A massive black leather couch anchors the room, a glass coffee table in front of it scattered with a few magazines and a remote.
The kitchen gleams from where I stand—stainless steel, spotless counters, a shaker bottle with his keys left near the sink, small hints of his routine.
Saint spins me around, his bare chest firm against mine, his hands greedy at my waist. Each step pushes me back until the hem of my robe rides higher and the back of my legs hit the couch. His lips skim over mine, savoring the moment before taking everything I’m already offering.
I press a hand to his sculpted chest. “Wait.”
His brow lifts, impatience and lust flickering in his eyes. “What’s wrong?”
I grin, biting my lip as the excitement builds faster than I can rein it in. “I need to tell you something before I actually explode.”
He pauses, eyes narrowing but curious. “Go on then pretty, what’s on your mind?”
My chest rises and falls quickly, words spilling out before I can stop them. “I did it. I auditioned at Teasers.”
He blinks, his features settling into something unreadable.
“And I got the job,” I add, my voice higher now. “Like—actually got it! You’re the first person I’ve told—not even Arina knows yet. Well she knew I was thinking about it, but she didn’t know I actually did it today. And they said I can come back tonight if I’m feeling up for it.”
For a second, silence hangs between us. His expression flickering into something warmer.
“You serious?” he asks, lips curving into a half-smile.
I nod, heart hammering. “Yes! I actually did it. I’m so proud of myself, you have no idea. I rarely ever make grand decisions without someone in my ear giving my shit for it.”
He cups my face, kissing me hard before pulling back just enough to speak. His voice is low, stripped bare. “You telling me first… means more than you know.”
I can’t help but smile, my arms looping tighter around his neck. “I told you you’re special.”
“Good,” he murmurs, kissing me again, softer this time. “’Cause I’m proud of you, Lolli. Didn’t expect you to do something like this, but if it’s what you want… I’ll support you any day out of the week.”
I let his words land, even though part of me resists them. I want to believe him. But doubt still hums beneath the surface.
Is he saying it because he truly means it… or because it doesn’t cost him anything? Men always think they’re fine with their girls being strippers—until reality of it sets in. Saint isn’t my man—well not officially.
But maybe that’s why it’s so easy for him to say he’s proud.
He kisses me again, slower this time, but when he pulls back, his honey-coated eyes don’t leave mine. His fingers rest on my waist, his gaze softer now—almost cautious. “So,” he says quietly, like the question’s been waiting for the right moment. “What are we, Jainey? What is this?”
The words hit harder than I expect. My lips part, but nothing comes out.
“Am I just going to be someone you hit up when you feel like it?” he continues, jaw tightening, voice rougher now.
“Am I supposed to keep watching you go back and forth between me and Cairo?” His eyes search mine, frustration cutting through the calm.
“I need to know if this is all it’s ever gonna be—especially with you working at Teasers now… or if I’m just wasting my time.”
I drop my eyes for a second, exhaling hard.
“Saint…” My fingers toy with the tie of my robe as I try to untangle the mess in my head.
“Like I told you both already, I don’t think getting into a relationship is right for me right now, especially with me working at Teasers.
I don’t even know if I can do both. I’m still trying to figure out what I want for myself. ”
I lift my gaze back to his, voice soft but edged with sarcasm. “And besides—you weren’t upset when both of you had me. So, I don’t get why it’s suddenly a problem now.”
His grip on my waist tightens slightly, his voice low but steady. “We can take it slow, pretty. I ain’t asking you to lock it all down tonight. But I need you to know—I want you. For me. Not part-time.”
He pauses, searching my face, his thumb brushing against my hip like it’ll help him steady his next words. “Yeah, the first time… was just that. But ever since then, I haven’t thought about another girl. Not once.”
His jaw tightens, the honesty in his caramel delights impossible to miss.
“You don’t ever really leave my thoughts,” he admits. “I wake up wishing you were there with me, wishing I didn’t have to imagine what it’d feel like to roll over and see your face. Even doing the simplest of things—I catch myself wishing you were there.”
His eyes hold mine. “And when I close my eyes, it’s your lips, your smile, that vanilla scent I can’t seem to forget. It’s exhausting in the best and worst way.”
The rawness in his eyes makes my heart ache for him.
His heart already seems to know exactly what it wants, while mine is pulled in too many directions at once.
Before Daniel, I’d never had someone want me more than I wanted them.
Letting him go was easy because I made sure to keep our sex and real life separate.
But no matter how much I tell myself I’m doing the same with these sexy-ass brothers, I know it’s a lie I’m only telling myself.
“I ain’t gonna lie, pretty—it hurts seeing you with Cairo,” he says, his voice unsteady.
“Yeah, that’s my boy. We tight. But I can’t pretend it doesn’t mess with me, knowing you’re with him too.
” His grip on my hand tightens slightly, trying to anchor his words.
“I don’t wanna share you anymore, Jainey.
Not with him. Not with anybody. I’m sorry we thought we could both have you but I’m telling you…
no one else gets to have now—not even Cairo’s worthy of you. ”
I don’t trust myself to speak. My heart’s tangled between a truth I’m scared to face and the comfort I’ve found in both of them.
I hold his gaze, the tension between us stretching thin.
His words touch deeper than I care to admit, but there’s something else in them—something Cairo has never given me.
Cairo gives me fire, passion, the thrill of losing myself.
But Saint… Saint makes me feel like I have a purpose in life.
And that’s something I want more than all the thrill in the world.
I press my hand against his chest, the beat of his heart pulsing under my fingertips. “I hear you,” I say softly. “And I’m not saying I don’t want to be with you. I’m just saying… I’m not ready to promise either of you more than I can give right now.”