How Can I Resist You?

Chapter 1

Vidya Munasinghe sat on the floor, phone in hand, outside the bathroom in the cosy flat she shared with her sister and her best friend. Her younger sister, Udeni, was currently on the other side of the bathroom door, crying in little sniffling sobs.

‘It’ll be okay,’ Vidya said. She didn’t really think it would be, but this was more about being there for her sister than actually helping.

‘What if it’s positive?’ came the slightly panicky voice from the other side of the door.

It would be positive. Even without the late period, Vidya had noticed the way her sister fell asleep watching Strictly and the way she rubbed her tummy with a puzzled expression at mealtimes. ‘Let’s wait and see,’ she said.

How had this even happened? Since Udeni said she was three weeks late, the most likely time for her to have become pregnant was in February, when Udeni had been Vidya’s plus one for the office party and pulled a random guy.

For the last few months, Udeni had been working long hours at her new job in arts fundraising.

Going to the office party had been the one time she’d let her hair down and she’d gone overboard with the fun …

so it had to be the guy from the office.

The timer beeped. ‘Two minutes,’ Vidya called out.

There was a moment of pained silence, then a little shriek. Yup. Positive. Vidya felt her heart grow heavier. She grabbed her phone and stood up.

If her little sister was pregnant, Vidya would support her.

Whatever Udeni wanted to do. Vidya took a deep breath and reminded herself that Udeni was a twenty-five-year-old adult.

She had to resist the urge to jump in and fix things, like she usually did.

This time, big sister or not, she must not interfere. Only support.

Letting out her breath, Vidya knocked on the door. ‘Nangi?’

The door opened and Udeni hurled herself into Vidya’s arms. She sobbed, ‘What am I going to do?’

All thoughts of recrimination vanished as Vidya tightened her arms around her sister’s shaking shoulders. This was a major cataclysm in Udeni’s life. There were no easy answers. Vidya rubbed her sister’s back. ‘It’ll be okay, sweetheart, we’ll work this out together. It’ll be okay.’

A few hours and a lot of tissues later, Vidya made them both hot chocolates. She would have dearly loved a glass of wine about now, but it seemed rude when Udeni couldn’t have any.

Her sister was sitting on the sofa, blanket tucked over her drawn-up knees, eyes puffy.

Thankfully, their housemate, Angie, was out this evening. Although maybe her presence might have helped.

The resemblance between the sisters was noticeable, but physically, they looked very different.

Udeni was slim and willowy while Vidya was built for stability.

Udeni had a pixie cut that made her features look exaggerated and elfin, while Vidya had similar facial features but with long black hair that came down her shoulders.

Both had their father’s big brown eyes and their mother’s cupid’s bow mouth.

‘Here.’ Vidya handed her sister the hot chocolate and sat down beside her. ‘Can you drink that without feeling sick?’

Udeni nodded. She untucked the blanket and held up one side, so that Vidya could slide in beside her. ‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘What am I going to do?’

The way she looked at Vidya was as though she expected her to have a solution.

This was always how it was. Vidya was the sensible one, who didn’t take risks and didn’t have adventures, but lived her life in her sensible groove.

Udeni was the one who acted first, thought later.

When they were children, Vidya often had to look out for her younger sister, who was too cute and too carefree to be left unsupervised.

And this had carried through to adulthood.

Vidya didn’t meet her sister’s eye for a moment, while she tamped down all the feelings she couldn’t feel right now.

‘Well,’ she said, carefully, in case it prompted another flood of tears. ‘What do you want to do?’

Udeni stared at the floor for a long while.

Vidya waited. She would hate to have to make such a huge decision.

Logically, the most sensible option would be to contact a clinic and ask about options to terminate.

Udeni’s career was just getting started and a baby really wouldn’t fit into her life right now.

But they’d been brought up in a Buddhist household.

Neither of them was religious, but these influences ran deeper than one expected.

If it were her, Vidya had no idea which option she would choose.

Udeni turned her head, eyes wet. ‘I think,’ she said. ‘I think I’d be a good mum.’ It sounded more like a question than a statement.

Vidya nodded. ‘I agree.’ She did, honestly. Udeni might be reckless at times, but there was no doubt that her baby would be loved to bits by Mum and Aunt. After a period of horror and bewilderment, Udeni’s parents would adore their grandchild too.

‘But it’s a lot, isn’t it?’ her sister said, with unusual prescience.

‘Yes. It will be. But you won’t be alone,’ Vidya said.

‘I’ll be here too.’ She looked around the flat and mentally rearranged it.

It had three bedrooms and was quite spacious by London standards; she and Udeni had the two double ones and Angie rented the single one.

The open-plan living room and kitchen were tiny.

The baby’s cot would be in Udeni’s room, obviously.

If they swapped her bed for a single, there would be enough room in there for all the baby’s stuff.

They could get rid of some of the knickknacks and the cactus plants—

She was interrupted by Udeni throwing her arms around her and squeezing. ‘Thank you. Thank you. You’re the best big sister ever.’

Vidya smiled and hugged her back. ‘I am, right?’

‘This baby is going to be so loved.’ Udeni let her go and sat back, eyes shining. She was clearly painting a rosy picture in her head.

Vidya blew on her hot chocolate and took a cautious sip.

The baby was an abstract concept at the moment.

Before that, there was a whole pregnancy to get through.

She glanced sideways at her sister. Not to mention telling their parents.

That was going to be the worst thing. Good Sri Lankan girls didn’t get pregnant outside of marriage.

And definitely not after a one-night stand.

The worst part was that her parents would blame her as well, not just Udeni.

She should have looked after her sister better.

She was the one who took her to the party.

Who ‘let’ her drink too much and go off with a stranger.

Like she can stop Udeni when she decides to party.

She shook her head and took another sip.

‘What?’

She turned to find Udeni looking at her. The light in her expression dimmed. ‘You’re thinking about things. You’re judging me, aren’t you?’

She could have denied it, but … that wouldn’t be true. ‘I mean …’ she said. ‘It’s not an ideal situation, is it?’

Udeni made a face. ‘I didn’t mean for this to happen.’ She stared at a spot on the floor again. ‘I’m pretty sure we used a condom.’

Vidya had to take a deep breath before she answered. ‘Pretty sure?’

A shrug. ‘Yeah. I always have one in my purse. It wasn’t there the next day, so …’

This worried Vidya, more than a little. Someone that drunk shouldn’t be able to give consent, surely. Except Udeni had been adamant that she’d really liked him and had no regrets.

‘I guess it’s too late to worry about it now,’ Vidya said. They had more pressing things to think about. ‘The main thing is to get you an appointment with the GP.’

‘I’ll call them first thing tomorrow,’ Udeni said. ‘And I’ll order some books about pregnancy.’

This was good. She was taking the pregnancy seriously. At least she wasn’t going into ostrich mode, which Udeni had been known to do. It had taken several overdue bills and a loan from Vidya for her to learn that ignoring credit card bills didn’t make them go away.

Udeni was quiet for a few minutes. ‘See. We have a plan.’

Vidya was about to point out that this was nowhere near a plan, when one of their phones started to ring.

They both used a particular ringtone for WhatsApp calls from their parents.

Vidya looked at her phone. It wasn’t hers.

She looked up to find Udeni staring at her ringing phone like it was a poisonous creature.

Their parents were away. They’d embraced early retirement and decided to travel to all the places they’d been putting off visiting. At the moment, they were in Central America on a tour.

‘Shit. Shit. What do we do?’ Udeni had gone grey. ‘Do I tell them?’

Vidya’s own heart rate increased. Her parents were going to go seven types of bananas when they found out. She rubbed her hands over her face. ‘No. Let’s wait a bit. It’s still early days for you.’

‘Yes. Good idea. Things can go wrong in the first twelve weeks.’ Udeni was nodding but still holding her ringing phone like it was about to explode.

‘And we should at least find out who the father is, before we tell them.’ Vidya braced herself for a backlash.

‘But why? I don’t want to tell him—’

‘Yes, but you at least need to know.’

‘What for? I wouldn’t want him to help.’

‘You’ll want him to contribute financially, though.

Babies are expensive.’ This was exactly what she’d feared would happen.

Udeni would just hope that if she ignored things, the hard questions would just disappear.

It took all her self-control not to shout.

‘You need to have some options,’ she said calmly.

‘And most of them require knowing who the father is.’

‘I suppose,’ Udeni said, still staring at the phone. When it stopped ringing, they both breathed out. Udeni turned to Vidya. ‘So, you reckon we get our shit together first and then tell them.’