Chapter 13
Vidya yawned. It was nearly five p.m. on the Saturday and they were still working.
She couldn’t really focus anymore. She checked her phone again.
There was a message from Angie to say Piotr hadn’t gone to the pub last night after all so she had no news.
Still nothing from Udeni. Vidya had sent a message with a brief apology, which her sister had read and clearly ignored.
According to Angie, Udeni had cried a bit, shouted a bit and then shut herself in her room.
Even Angie had to admit that there was probably more to it than hormones.
Vidya ran a thumbnail over her teeth as she stared at her phone.
This was not good. She and Udeni had argued before, but this time felt different, probably because Udeni was extra delicate right now.
Vidya understood that pregnancy could make you more tired and emotional.
The few days before your period were hellish enough, she couldn’t even begin to imagine what pregnancy might do to your mood and self-esteem.
She should have been more sympathetic. Vidya sighed.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Leo’s head rise. Oh. Right. She was probably distracting him. She pushed her chair back wearily and stood up. May as well take a break and see if Udeni would talk to her.
The terrace was busy this evening, with people wrapped up against the chill. She would go down into the garden below the entrance and call Udeni from there.
The ‘garden’ was a multilayered terrace that broke up the steep incline down to the seashore. Vidya trudged down two levels before she found an empty bench. She sat and stared out at the clouds. The sun was behind there somewhere, slowly sinking. Much like her mood right now.
She breathed in a lungful of sea air and let it out. Time to try her sister again.
To her amazement Udeni answered. ‘What?’
‘I … I thought we should talk.’
‘I’m only answering the phone to tell you that Amma and Thatha called. They were pretty annoyed with your bosses for making you work this weekend.’
‘I’ll get time off in lieu next week. It’s fine.’ Vidya shook her head. ‘I explained all this to them.’
‘Whatever. That’s all I had to tell you—’
‘Wait. Don’t hang up.’
‘Why not? Is that being stupid too?’ There was a real bite to Udeni’s voice. It grated on Vidya’s nerves.
‘I don’t think you’re stupid, okay? We all make mistakes. I’m here for you—’
‘I don’t need you to be,’ Udeni snapped. ‘I know you think I’m an idiot for wanting to keep this baby and for wanting to do it alone.’
Vidya gave an exasperated ‘ugh!’ and said, ‘If I genuinely thought that I wouldn’t be helping you, would I? I’m only working on this project so that I can snoop out some information for you.’
‘I didn’t ask you to do that!’ Udeni screeched down the phone. ‘I told you. I don’t want to tell him. Or have anything to do with him. You’re the one who thought we needed information on the father. I don’t want to owe a stranger anything.’
‘Caleb’s not a stranger—’
‘Yes, he is. He was a one-night stand. That’s all. I have no connection with him whatsoever. But you – you do now, don’t you? You’re the one who’s complicated things by making friends with the random stranger. If this turns into something awkward, it’s all your fault.’
That was so preposterous, Vidya was speechless for a second. ‘I am trying to help! This was an accident and I’m trying to make things better for you. It’s not like you have a plan!’
‘Of course I don’t have a plan, but I recognise a gift when I’m given it. You wouldn’t, of course. You’d need to plan everything to the nth degree before you even consider doing anything. That’s why you’ve been single for a million years.’
Anger rose in Vidya, hot and bitter. ‘How dare you!’
‘How dare you?’ Udeni shot back. ‘Stop interfering with my life and judging my choices, Vidya. We can’t all be perfect and organised like you.’
‘I thought that made me a lonely old spinster.’
‘If the shoe fits.’
‘I don’t know why I bother talking to you.’
‘Neither do I.’
This time, it was Vidya who hung up.
She closed her eyes and tipped her head back. This was too hard. What on earth had made her think volunteering for this project was a good idea?
The work was detailed, but also repetitive, which made it exhausting. She liked Leo and Caleb, but the pressure of having to keep Udeni’s secret made things difficult. Going home would have been nice, but her argument with Udeni meant even that was now awkward. Why couldn’t life be easy?
Tears rose under Vidya’s eyelids. It wasn’t fair.
She was doing her best to help and Udeni was being so ungrateful.
Ever since that accident in the playground, she’d done her best to look after her sister better.
What started off as being a bit protective when she was a child had persisted into adulthood.
It was just a fact of life. It was as natural as breathing.
Normally, Udeni was quite happy to lean on her. She almost expected Vidya’s support. So why was Udeni being like this now? Over something so important?
Vidya wiped her eyes. It was so frustrating. Of course, she had wanted to work out who the father of the baby was. How could you not? A baby wasn’t a trivial thing – it was a person Udeni was bringing into their family. How could you not want to be prepared? It made no sense.
Vidya hadn’t made things complicated. She hadn’t.
If Udeni hadn’t insisted on keeping the pregnancy a secret, they could have approached Caleb openly.
Or arranged for Udeni to meet him and see if they recognised each other.
Instead, Vidya was stuck looking like a nosy colleague and trying to work out whether he had a tattoo.
Meanwhile Leo, who was the one she really wanted to get to know better, was getting suspicious of why she kept asking questions.
It was all such a mess. She was trying so hard to do what was right for her sister, and Udeni didn’t even appreciate it.
Maybe she should just let Udeni stew in her own mess for once.
Vidya dashed the tears from the corners of her eyes.
That’s what she should do. Leave Udeni to it.
She didn’t want help, after all. It would serve her right if Vidya stopped trying.
Let Udeni handle telling Amma and Thatha alone.
See how she liked that. They were going to be a nightmare when they found out.
She raised her head and looked at the darkening horizon.
The colour had drained out of the sky and the temperature had dropped even more.
At the bottom of the hill, a band of streetlights shone over the promenade, with the shifting darkness of the sea beyond.
The gulls seemed to have quietened down.
She shivered and wished she’d thought to bring her coat.
Her phone buzzed. She checked it hesitantly, half hoping, half dreading that it was Udeni.
It was Caleb. He and Leo were calling it a day.
They were going for a walk to stretch their legs and would meet her in the foyer at seven to go to one of the pubs for dinner.
She stared at the message for a moment, then turned the phone facedown.
Udeni was right about one thing. Caleb had become a friend. So had Leo. If Udeni insisted on not telling Caleb about the baby, then Vidya would have to be very careful when she spoke to either of the guys.
Realistically, she could finish this project and not have anything further to do with them apart from the odd friendly nod if they met in the lift. She thought about Leo and his elusive smile and Caleb with his easy sense of humour. What a shame it would be to lose touch.
She rubbed the last of her angry tears from her cheeks. ‘Dammit, Udeni. Why did you have to drag me into all this?’
***
When Leo got down to the foyer at seven, Caleb was there waiting for him.
‘Where’s Vidya?’
Caleb looked up from his phone. ‘She messaged to say that she’d grab something from the bar menu and take it up to her room. I guess she wants a bit of alone time.’
It was silly to feel disappointed. They had been working so hard, in the same room most of the day. Small wonder she wanted a bit of space. ‘Fair enough,’ he said.
‘So, it’s just us then,’ said Caleb. ‘Which pub shall we go to?’
‘I honestly don’t care.’ Leo stretched his neck from side to side. ‘Somewhere that’s a bit of a walk would be good. I still feel the need to move.’
‘Let’s go to the one at the top of the hill, then.’ Caleb put his phone away.
They set off at a brisk pace.
‘It’s much quicker walking places without Vidya,’ Caleb observed. ‘Not that I mind slowing down for her, obviously.’
Leo said nothing. Vidya had been quiet all afternoon. Maybe it was because they were working the weekend. Or maybe it was something else. Come to think of it, she’d been distracted ever since she did the sandwich run at lunchtime. ‘I hope she’s okay,’ he said, out loud.
Caleb rolled his eyes. ‘She’s a grown woman. She’ll be fine in the hotel. She probably just needs a break from your moody face.’
‘Huh?’ He hadn’t been particularly moody, had he? He’d been working. Busy wasn’t the same as moody.
‘You’ve been so tense around her; you practically squeak. I don’t know why you don’t just ask her out, honestly.’
‘It’s not that simple—’
‘What if it is that simple?’ said Caleb. ‘You like her. Just get a couple of drinks down you and muster up the courage to ask her out.’ He shook his head. ‘How on earth did you and Jessica get together back in the day?’
There was that familiar twist of embarrassment every time someone mentioned her name. ‘Um … office drinks. A group of us went to a bar after we finished a project and … things sort of went from there.’
‘See. You liked her. You went for drinks. Bam.’
‘Bam!’ pretty much described the effect that Jessica had on Leo.
Especially eight months later when he found her at the Christmas party with her tongue down the throat of some guy from HR. He shuddered. ‘Yes, well. I don’t want a repeat of my relationship with Jessica, thanks.’
‘She was an opportunistic witch,’ said Caleb. ‘But Vidya’s not. You guys have so much in common. You’re both serious. You’re both obsessed with proper file keeping. You’re both a little bit awkward.’
‘She’s not awkward, is she?’ Was she? He hadn’t noticed.
‘She asks a lot of questions. I think it’s her way of keeping the conversation going,’ said Caleb.
‘Or … she wants to know everything about you.’ Why do you keep talking about Leo? I want to know about you. It couldn’t have been any clearer. ‘I appreciate your efforts to try and set me up, Caleb, but I honestly don’t think she’s interested in me.’
Caleb frowned. ‘See, that’s the weird part. You’re right. She does ask me a lot of questions and she does seem keen to know the answers, but I don’t get the feeling that she’s in any way attracted to me. Honestly, I think I’d know. The way she looks at you, on the other hand … woah.’
Leo said nothing. He didn’t believe a word of that, but he did know that he’d been extra tense around Vidya lately. ‘Is it really noticeable that I’m … attracted to her?’
‘Yes.’
‘Do you think I make her feel uncomfortable? That would be bad. We have to work together.’
‘I … No,’ said Caleb. ‘I noticed, but I know you really well, remember? She’s only just met you. I doubt she’ll be able to tell. Your poker face is still more or less intact, don’t worry.’
A gust of wind brought with it the sound of laughter from a group walking down towards the seafront. Leo tugged his scarf up around his chin.
‘I’d hate to think I was part of the problem,’ he said. ‘Whatever I think about her, it shouldn’t affect her place of work.’
They walked up the steep hill, looking down at their feet, not talking.
When they got to the top, Caleb said, ‘Listen, mate. You’re overthinking it. You’re right. You don’t want to make things awkward, but … people get together through work all the time. Think about it. How many other places are there to meet people at our age?’
‘You manage,’ said Leo.
Caleb made a noncommittal noise. Come to think of it, it had been a few months since Caleb had mentioned a woman, which was a while for him. ‘Has something changed?’ Leo asked.
His friend looked up at the sky. ‘Not really,’ he said. ‘My heart’s just not in it right now.’
Leo raised his eyebrows. It was much better to talk about this than to dissect his own disastrous prospects. ‘What’s happened to your heart?’
‘Nothing. I just feel … like, why bother, you know? You meet people, you hook up, maybe you date for a while … and then it just ends. It all seems so pointless.’
This was most unlike Caleb, who normally grabbed life with both hands and squeezed. Leo turned to look at him, which meant he was walking backwards. ‘What’s brought this on?’ He thought back to what had happened in the past week. ‘Is it your mum breaking up with her boyfriend?’
‘Partly,’ said Caleb. ‘How many times does it have to happen before she gives up? Every guy, she’s convinced he’s the one, and then she’s devastated when he isn’t.’
Leo didn’t know what to say, so he fell into step with Caleb again. ‘But what happens when she gives up?’ Leo said. ‘She’ll be alone. Won’t that be worse?’
Caleb nodded. His normal cheeriness had fallen away. This was the Caleb the world didn’t often see. The one who worried about his mother, who burned with anger at his father, who thought too hard, too long about the people he loved. Leo slung a companionable arm around Caleb’s shoulder.
‘But every time she’s so optimistic she’s met “The One”,’ said Caleb. ‘I wish she really would. The last guy was so nice and he was really smitten with her that I thought maybe he was …’
‘What happened?’
Caleb sighed. ‘Mum said they just drifted apart. She said breaking up was the right thing to do, even if it hurts in the short term … and then she cried a lot. I wish … I wish there was something I could do.’
Leo tightened his arm, giving his friend a hug. ‘All you can do is be there for her. Which you are. She knows that no matter what happens with the other men in her life, you will always love her. And she will always love you.’
They reached the pub and stopped outside. Leo removed his arm. He watched as Caleb pulled himself together and put his mask of cheerfulness back on.
‘You know what?’ said Caleb. ‘I really fancy a drink.’
‘Sounds like a plan.’
Maybe it was just as well that Vidya hadn’t joined them.