Chapter 16 #2
‘There was this bar we used to go to when we worked together before. Years ago. They had a machine and we used it often.’ Caleb grinned. ‘Besides …’ He jerked a thumb towards Leo. ‘This guy had tap-dancing lessons forever.’
‘You did?’ She looked up at Leo.
He shrugged. ‘My parents were theatre people, remember. We were taught to dance pretty much as soon as we could walk. I am, by my family’s standards, a terrible dancer.’
‘But you’re great at it.’
‘Only when I know the choreography. I can do footwork. But I can’t emote and I’m not graceful.
Apparently, I just look like I’m being tortured, but in a very musical way.
’ Leo’s features softened. ‘My little sister, Cordelia, is the one who got all the singing and dancing genes. She’s a West End actress. ’
‘What about Rosie?’ Caleb asked. ‘She must have inherited some of the skills too.’
‘She can sing. Wonderfully. She sings in a choir on Sundays, for … you know, stress relief.’ Leo leaned towards Vidya and said, ‘That’s my older sister. She’s an accountant.’
‘You and Rosie,’ said Caleb, shaking his head. ‘The kids who ran away from the circus to become suits.’
‘Watching bailiffs empty your house will do that to you,’ Leo said, ruefully.
‘Oh my God, that sounds horrible,’ Vidya said. ‘How old were you?’
‘Quite young.’ He gave it some thought. ‘Cordy was a toddler, so I must have been about six.’
‘You poor thing. How scary.’ The urge to put her arms around him was incredibly strong.
His face remained neutral. ‘Like I said, I was young. I remember Rosie being really angry with my parents for years, though. So was Grandma.’
Vidya dug her hands deeper into the pockets of her coat.
Leo had turned away from her to look at the sea.
She turned around too and watched the setting sun.
There was something magnetic about the water.
The dying rays of the sun tinted Leo’s features gold.
She tried to imagine him as a frightened little boy, watching his home being emptied.
‘Is that why you grew up with your grandma? Because your parents lost your home?’
He nodded. ‘Something like that. They took us to Grandma’s and then went touring for a while, to make some money. Also, I guess it meant they didn’t need a place to stay because they were moving as part of the tour.’
‘That sounds harsh.’
He shook his head. ‘Not for me. Living with my parents was difficult. They were always obsessed with their work. They would be in character at random times. I had trouble working out when they were in character and when they were real. And they used to make us do acting exercises all the time and …’ He shook his head.
‘Anyway. Grandma did normal parenting stuff, like making us follow a routine and shouting at us to do our homework. She taught us all about budgeting, because she said that two people who were idiots with money was enough for one family.’
‘She sounds amazing.’
‘She was.’
‘Did your parents just leave you there with her?’ She tried to picture her own parents giving her and Udeni up to be raised by someone else. She couldn’t even begin to imagine it. She was so lucky and she’d never even known.
‘When I was about twelve, Mum and Dad were settled again and sent for us. Cordy was delighted, but Rosie refused to go and I didn’t want to leave her. So … I stayed with her and Grandma. Eventually, Cordy came back to us too.’
‘Your parents ran out of money again?’
He nodded. ‘No sense of responsibility at all. They’re still acting, and are also tour guides in Cornwall now.’
Vidya thought about her own parents, who took family responsibility very seriously. She’d had it pressed upon her throughout her childhood. ‘I can’t imagine parents who aren’t serious about things,’ she said.
‘Oh, they were serious all right,’ said Leo. ‘Just not about looking after us or keeping an eye on money. They were serious about their acting careers. Everything and everyone else came second.’
Caleb nudged Leo. ‘Tell her about your name.’
‘Your name?’ She glanced up at Leo in the failing light. ‘Is your name not Leo?’
‘It is. But it’s short for Leontes,’ said Caleb. ‘But that’s his middle name. You’ll never guess what his first name is.’
Leo gave a long-suffering sigh. ‘Caleb, really?’
‘I want to know now,’ said Vidya. ‘I’m guessing Leontes is … something from Shakespeare?’
‘The first Shakespeare character my dad played.’
‘His first name begins with O,’ said Caleb, grinning wildly. ‘You’ll never guess what it is.’
Her knowledge of Shakespeare was pretty rudimentary. ‘O?’ Only one name came to mind. ‘Othello?’
‘No,’ said Leo. ‘Thankfully, not that. No. It’s Oberon. After my mum’s favourite character. I choose to use Leo instead. For obvious reasons.’
‘Oberon? As in, the king of the fairies from A Midsummer Night’s Dream?’ Because she remembered that much.
‘Imagine,’ said Caleb. ‘Might as well wear a sign saying, “Kick me”.’
Vidya was looking straight at Leo, which was why she saw the quick tug of his smile.
‘Right?’ Leo said. His voice was so deadpan that it struck her as funny.
She couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her. ‘Wow. Your parents really hated you.’
‘I’m glad my childhood misery amuses you.’ There was a trace of laughter in his voice.
She laughed. God, she loved a man with a sense of humour about himself. It didn’t hurt that he was handsome either. She looked up at him and wished …
They walked along, with the shops on one side and the sea on the other. The sun was lowering even further now and the beach was emptying. The stalls on the pavement turned on their lights, making everything a little more magical.
‘Oh, look. Candy floss,’ said Caleb. ‘I haven’t had that in years.’ He dug out his wallet. ‘Do you guys want some?’
‘Ugh, no,’ said Leo. ‘Too sweet for me.’
‘I’ll pass too,’ said Vidya. She was all for sweet things, but something that was pure spun sugar was too much, even for her.
‘Suit yourselves.’ Caleb practically ran to join the queue. ‘I’ll be right back.’
‘Sometimes,’ said Leo. ‘It’s like spending time with a ten-year-old.’
While they were waiting for him, Vidya and Leo leaned against the railings and looked out to sea.
Caleb did remind her of her sister. Udeni could be childlike …
and childish, at times. The thought reminded Vidya of the argument that they were still having.
All the fun had meant that she’d forgotten about it for a few hours. It came crowding back now.
Leo took a deep breath and let it out. ‘So, do you want to talk about it?’
Huh? ‘About what?’
Leo tilted his head to the side. ‘Your argument with your sister. You’re thinking about it again right now, aren’t you?’ He paused for a moment and added, ‘You don’t have to tell me, obviously. It’s none of my business. But sometimes, it helps to talk to someone who won’t judge.’
Vidya blinked. He might not judge her, but he might judge Udeni. No matter what Vidya’s own opinions were on the matter, she wasn’t going to let someone else be mean about her sister. When she narrowed her eyes, he seemed puzzled.
‘I’m told I’m a good listener,’ he said.
What the hell. Not talking about it was making her head hurt. ‘I had an argument with her.’
‘Oh, ouch,’ said Leo. ‘Did she do something to you or your stuff?’
‘No. Nothing like that.’ It was, on the face of it, a fairly trivial argument, but Udeni seemed to be taking it more seriously than expected.
Did she really feel that Vidya was judgemental and superior?
Was she? Udeni did do some thoughtless things without any care towards the consequences.
But still … right now Udeni was fragile and not fully herself.
‘I suppose I should be the bigger person and apologise.’
‘Let me guess,’ Leo said. ‘You’re often the one who apologises?’
‘How did you know?’
‘Something about the way you talk about her,’ he said. ‘You’re very protective of her.’
Vidya thought about how protective she felt towards her sister, despite everything. She sighed. ‘I guess I have to be.’
Leo said nothing, but he raised an eyebrow. He really was listening.
The wind picked up. She caught the edges of her wildly flapping coat and tamed them by zipping it up.
‘When I was about eight and my sister was about five, she had an accident,’ she said.
‘We were in the playground and I was supposed to be looking after her. It was a pretty safe place, to be fair. But she fell off the top of the climbing frame and hit her head, hard enough to be knocked out. It was one of those frames like a pyramid and there was a space in the middle, you know, underneath. That’s where she fell.
It took the grown-ups ages to get her out and she was unconscious for a couple of days.
They thought she might have brain damage or something.
’ Vidya remembered the weight of her guilt.
Her parents hadn’t said it was her fault, nor had they said it wasn’t.
She was supposed to be the one looking after little Udeni. Vidya should have been watching.
‘That’s hardly your fault,’ said Leo, his voice tight.
‘I felt like it was. I’ve been looking after her ever since.’
Leo nodded. He was quiet for a moment, then said, ‘You’re not still blaming yourself, are you?’
Was she? She wasn’t sure. ‘No …’ she said, carefully. ‘But I think the instinct to step in and stop her from doing anything too stupid is still strong.’ A sudden sigh. ‘And honestly, she does do a lot of things that are stupid.’
Leo made a thoughtful humming noise. ‘Are you sure they’re stupid? Or just things that you think are stupid?’
‘What?’ Vidya snapped. ‘I don’t judge her.’ Well, okay maybe she judged her a little bit. But not so that it showed. She thought about her argument with Udeni earlier. What if it did show? What if she wasn’t as good at hiding it as she thought she was.
‘I’m just speaking from my own experience,’ said Leo. ‘Cordelia takes after my parents a lot. She tends to do impulsive things and often will run out of money, despite Gran and Rosie’s best efforts. Sometimes, when Cordy explains why she did things, I can understand her reasons.’
‘Let me guess,’ said Vidya. ‘She always comes to you, rather than your big sister, because you’re the sympathetic one?’ Just like Udeni always came to Vidya first. If, or when, they told their parents, Vidya would be there in her corner.
‘I suppose she does, yes,’ said Leo. He frowned intently for a moment.
‘I don’t think I mind, to be honest. I’d rather she come to me than get help from a stranger.
There are a lot of nasty people out there.
Lots of nice ones too, don’t get me wrong, but Cordy …
she has no radar for that sort of thing. ’
Oh, Vidya recognised that too. ‘They just do things without thinking about the consequences. Then when the consequences come back and bite them … because they always do …’
‘They come to you to sort it out.’ He looked at her and she felt understanding move between them.
‘Exactly,’ she said, softly. Something loosened inside her chest. Somebody else felt the way she did. She wasn’t being unreasonable or selfish.
He held her gaze. ‘But we still do it,’ he said. ‘Every time, we step up. Why is that, do you think?’
Vidya looked away, because tears were gathering. ‘Programming?’
Leo gave a little huff of laughter. ‘Or love. I mean, I love my sisters. Both of them. And if they need me … I’m always going to be there.
I’d like to think that if I needed them, they would be there for me too.
’ He glanced in the direction of the stall where Caleb was watching candy floss being wound around a stick. ‘Same with Caleb.’
Vidya watched the shifting sea and thought about Udeni – about the evenings watching Cobra Kai together on Netflix, of the times Udeni had run out to buy painkillers when Vidya was doubled over with period pain, of Udeni covering for Vidya to their parents when she was late coming home.
Udeni needed Vidya’s help with big screw-ups, but Udeni did help in small ways.
They loved each other. The argument was just an argument. It would pass.
‘I should call her,’ she said, quietly.
‘Probably,’ Leo said, kindly.
Vidya turned, so that she was facing him. He hesitantly moved so that he was half facing her.
‘You’re a good man,’ she said.
‘Thank you,’ he said. ‘I would say the same back, but “a good woman” just sounds weird and patronising.’
She laughed. ‘Does a bit.’
‘But you’re very organised and professional. I like that.’ His eyes met hers. ‘I like—’
A movement made her flinch. Bloody seagulls. ‘Dammit, Charlie.’
‘I really do not like that bird,’ said Leo.
She laughed. The moment was broken. She leaned her elbows on the railing again.
Caleb returned carrying a cloud of pink on a stick. Just looking at it made Vidya’s teeth hurt. They resumed walking.
‘Try some.’ Caleb held the candy floss out to her.
‘No, thanks. That’s too sweet, even for me.’
‘I’ll pass too,’ said Leo.
‘You don’t know what you’re missing.’ Caleb tilted his head to the side, trying to take a bite.
Vidya shook her head. This was exactly the sort of thing Udeni would do.
‘Are you seriously going to eat all that? You’ll feel sick,’ said Leo.
‘I’ll be fine,’ said Caleb.
‘Hmm. Just don’t make a mess in the car.’
Caleb made a humph noise. Both the others turned to look at him. ‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘I got candy floss in my nose. Yuck. My face is all sticky now.’
Vidya stared at him, not sure whether to be amused or exasperated.
‘Seriously,’ said Leo. ‘You really are a child.’
‘You need to embrace your inner child more,’ said Caleb. ‘Here. Hold this.’ He thrust the candy floss towards Leo and dug around in his pockets. He produced a tissue and started to rub his nose.
‘You’re lucky Charlie the seagull isn’t here,’ said Vidya.
‘Even seagulls know not to eat candy floss,’ Leo said.
For some reason, this struck Vidya as very funny. She laughed out loud. Both men looked at her and grinned, almost indulgently, like her happiness made them happy too. She saw that expression on Angie and Udeni sometimes. It made her feel loved.