Chapter 12 #2
Kat stared at the space in front of Azrion’s chest, a deeper shame settling into her bones.
Elli sounded like her—quiet, nervous, afraid.
But she’d done well to keep those things at bay, and if she wanted to fix all those other things making her feel even worse, she couldn’t shrink away.
So she let the music guide her, sinking into the pattern of steps like she was stitching a hem.
As they moved together, she focused on Azrion’s actual chest, the way his coat fell with nary a crease in the fine material. There was a generous dip in the shirt he wore beneath, and the hint of another layer—no, not more clothing, that was tattooed skin peeking out.
It shouldn’t have been a surprise, not with the many piercings that dangled from his ears and what she’d seen on other demons, but she suddenly wanted to know exactly what shapes those lines would form underneath his clothes.
Azrion wasn’t the most broad-shouldered or tallest demon, but she could feel the firmness of his body under her palm.
She’d met all kinds of men built to be fighters, but Azrion was more like one of the sneaking sort.
He would be strong enough to easily lift someone like her overhead, toss her through an open window, and then pull himself up after.
She imagined what that might look like, Azrion appearing over the sill with a wicked grin and slithering into a bedchamber in the middle of the night. She might even grin back—
“You’re an exceptional dancer, Katarina.”
Kat gasped, almost pulled out of the reverie by his earnestness except that earnestness threatened to plunge her in deeper. “Thank you,” she muttered, hoarseness sneaking into her voice like a thief in the shadows.
“Who taught you?”
“I’ve just…seen people dance.”
“You learned from watching?”
“I used to practice on my own. A lot.” There, that wasn’t a lie, and it was just embarrassing enough to keep him from prying for more.
But of course he pried for more. “Oh?”
Oh. He wants the truth. And didn’t I just say the truth was important? It was almost as if her conversation with Zaiya had been strategically placed just before this one by some plot-driven deity.
But then Kat peered into the blackness of Azrion’s eyes, and instead of nothingness, she saw a gentle curiosity.
No one could hear them over the music, and they could discuss anything to make it look like they were having a pleasant conversation in front of all his rich friends, yet he seemed genuinely interested.
“The first time I really got a good look I think I was thirteen, maybe fourteen. Kaly and I worked for this…group of people who…did stuff.” No reason to tell him it was a criminal organization that caught them lifting tinctures from an apothecary and blackmailed them into more dangerous work.
“We were sent to one of the wealthy areas of Ankerick to this gorgeous manor. I guess it was kind of like this, though there wasn’t any sorcery, but there was a party going on.
I don’t know for what, but I begged Kaly to just sit and watch with me for a while.
Even though she was older and understood just how risky it would be, she let me.
I tried not to ask for much from her because she always gave me whatever I wanted, but I definitely used my sisterly persuasion against her that night. ”
Kat let her fingers tighten on the back of Azrion’s neck to keep the stiffness out of the rest of her body so they could continue to glide between the other dancing couples. The music was a soothing hum against the increasing thrum of blood in her veins at the memory.
“We almost got caught,” she finally said, “but Kaly put the guard who found us in a headlock so he would fall asleep, and we finished the job.”
“Strict rules in this Ankerick place if two children can’t observe a simple party.”
Kat kept her head bent and shrugged because it wasn’t that simple at all. “Well, we weren’t supposed to be there.”
“How did you expect to get paid for this job then?”
“We paid ourselves,” she said, and then with a deep breath it all came out.
“We got to keep a percentage of what we could carry, but not the silver dagger or the old book full of spells or the giant red gemstone. Those were what we were sent in to get, without their owner’s permission.
Though they were probably stolen from wherever they originally belonged anyway, so it was probably okay we were stealing them again.
At least that’s what I always told myself. ”
Kat’s feet kept going because that was easiest, her body following a pattern that her mouth and mind had just broken.
The pace hadn’t changed, but the world slowed around her as she waited for Azrion to finally understand that she was a disgusting rat of a creature who deserved to be left in the shadows alone.
“So you’re a burglar,” he said, body shifting closer as his voice thickened in her ear. “But I should have guessed, Katarina. You steal my attention every chance you get.”
Kat’s feet finally failed as a shiver ran all the way to her core. But no—no. It was wicked work that she should be ashamed of, not excited by. “You’re not listening. We broke locks, we stole things. Sometimes people even got hurt.”
“Yes, and that sounds very…burglar-esque to me.”
“But it wasn’t a joke,” she hissed, body going cold like it had so many nights. “Sometimes we slept in alleys, and we smelled so horribly most taverns wouldn’t even let us in to spend our coin—our stolen coin.”
She waited for him to wrinkle his nose and push her away, but he still didn’t.
“Azrion, we lived like animals.” She stood still in the middle of the platform as demons danced around them, most too tipsy to notice. “We were lower than animals. We were—”
“You’re lying.”
Her voice caught on an inhale. For once she was actually telling him the truth, and he had the audacity to…to sweep her back into a dance that her body was all too eager to fall in line with.
“I know you don’t think of your sister as an animal, and somewhere deep inside, you don’t think of yourself that way either.
But you do think that’s what I will think, and to be fair I probably put on that kind of air at times, so I should consider working on that, but that’s beside the point.
I want you, Katarina, to tell me what you really think of the life you lived. ”
Colors swirled around them, but Azrion was unwavering, his hold on her firm and steady.
“We did what it took, and we took what was due,” she said, the repetition familiar, safe, true. “Kaly protected me, and together we stole from anyone who looked like they had enough to give. We never got rich—we barely had enough most days—but we survived.”
“And thank the stars you did.” His touch ticked up her spine, and she leaned in closer. “Or rather, thank your sister. I should send her something to show my gratitude. Do you think she would prefer some nice wine and cheese or a grander gesture like a star named after her?”
Kat burst into laughter. “Gods, anything but cheese. We had to live off a round we stole for a whole week, and she got so sick that I think she still hates cows.”
“Well, I won’t pick a star out of the goat constellation for her, that’s for certain.”
“She’d put you in a headlock for that and—” Kat blinked, the laughter falling away. “Oh, gods. Kaly didn’t just put that guard to sleep, did she?”
Azrion made a pained face. “From the way you’ve spoken about her, I would bet that guard was likely put to sleep forever.”
It might have been awful, but laughter bubbled out of her all over again, freeing and full and wonderful. It shook her shoulders and made her belly ache as she pressed her mouth to Azrion’s shoulder to keep from squealing over the din of the other dancers and the music.
“You’re so pretty when you laugh,” Azrion murmured.
The tug against her cheek where her scar made the skin too taut was suddenly all Kat could feel. A vision flashed in her mind of her own twisted face while she brayed like a donkey. The laughter stopped.
“Oh, now, that’s much worse,” he said as she let her face fall into a scowl. “If you’re going to hide away all that joy, at least spare me another adoring look.”
Kat bristled. “I was not giving you an adoring look.”
“Weren’t you?” He spun her a little faster than the music was going. “Well, at least one of us likes compliments, so it’s my turn then.”
Kat frowned harder, easily pulling him back into time with the slow rhythm. “Your turn for what?”
“Compliments. Praise. Shower me in adoration.”
“You don’t need it.”
“This isn’t about need, Katarina, this is about want, and I want you to tell me how wonderful I am.”
“You’re wonderful.”
He snorted. “Be specific! I’m sure it’s in the contract somewhere.”
Kat chuckled because she knew it wasn’t or else she would have nixed it before signing. “You’re pretty when you laugh,” she mocked him.
“I know that. Be original, darling.”
“You’re…very rich.”
“And I know that impresses you even less than my looks. Come on, out with something sincere.”
Kat looked him up and down as they gently swayed and pretended to think much harder than she needed to.
Azrion was quite attractive, but he already knew that, and Kat had an inkling he might not actually appreciate hearing it as much as he pretended to.
He was a good dancer, but then everyone around them was.
He had a big vocabulary and nice handwriting and pretty good taste in clothes and even better taste in flowers.
He also had rather soft hands that held on with just the right amount of pressure.
All of it would have been sincere, but none of it was what she really wanted to say.
“I think it was brave of you to tell off your friend about that yellow demon woman.”
“Hmm?” Azrion’s head tipped like a confused dog. “Oh, you mean Fenthorn and Tuli? How…”
“I didn’t need to hear you, I only needed to see your face to know you were telling him to treat her better. Usually I can’t do that at all, but with you it’s easier for some reason. I would have been too afraid to tell someone the truth like that, but you just did it. That was brave.”
Kat had to look away from the softening of Azrion’s face. Dizzying colors swept by, so many couples enjoying each other, and then a shock of pink.
“Melora is watching,” she whispered, a chill running through her like she was standing across the post’s counter from her again being told she couldn’t and wouldn’t belong.
“Kiss me, Katarina.”
“What?” She snapped her head back and met his eyes. They weren’t as she expected, no playfulness in the darkness and no scheming either. His lids were heavy and he only looked at her, no hint he had even heard Kat mention Melora. But why on earth would he want to kiss her otherwise?
Oh, by all the great gods, he wanted to kiss her.
Azrion blinked and swallowed hard, faltering, which was supremely odd, but Kat was so overwrought she didn’t notice. “That is, uh…it’s part of the contract, isn’t it?”
Kat’s heart had pushed its way so far up her throat, she would have thrown it up if she opened her mouth.
The sound of it pounded in her ears as sweat slicked her palms. She would fuck it up, she just knew—kissing would give the truth away because she would be awkward, maybe she would laugh, she might even fucking cry, and everyone would see and they would all know.
“I can’t,” she finally squeaked out.
Azrion stared at her like he was waiting for something to break, and then he finally nodded. “I understand.”
Kat pinched back tears as the base of her skull began to throb. “I’m sorry.”
The demon sighed, but he leaned in anyway.
She fell still as the warmth of his face caressed hers.
“Your loss,” he whispered in her ear, and then he turned so that his lips grazed her cheek.
When he pulled back, that charming grin was already plastered back on like the question had never even been asked.
“You must be starving. Let’s see what they’ve got to eat, shall we? ”