Chapter 4
DATES WITH A LEDGER DON'T COUNT
Rosalind
“You’re sure nothing has come from the barracks?”
The poor, unsuspecting yellow demon shook her head, eyes wide. “Sorry, Miss.” Rosalind’s foot tapped restlessly, and even though the young demon was a full head taller than her, they nervously took a step back. “There were no reports from the guard.”
Rose blew out a breath. “Okay, right. That’s fine. No news is good news with Kalypso, I suppose. She’s just a little… well, I didn’t think the introduction would go so smoothly.” She went to wipe a bead of sweat from her temple, then realized her hands were full. “Fuck.”
By the time she looked up again, the yellow demon had abandoned her. Well, disappeared. She had cornered them on their walk to the privy.
With a huff, she hurried back to Culture’s offices, straightening her posture and plastering on a smile as she pushed through the doors.
Desks lined the aisle all the way to Argeth’s office, and Rosalind dutifully stopped at each one to deliver the appropriate drink order.
Most demons ignored her—this was fine, all fine, she told herself—but one groaned that it wasn’t hot enough, to which she politely reminded them they were capable of summoning magical fire and could heat it back up on their own time.
With the last two teas in hand, she slipped through the councilor’s door and took a seat.
“—should think that would suffice.” Argeth at least smiled when accepting the offered drink. “And I need to know what we’re polling.”
Mozke shook off Rose’s offer of the last tea—which Rosalind was silently grateful for since she’d misplaced hers—scribbling furiously in their notebook. “Most of the noble—”
Argeth coughed.
“—sixty-four percent of the noble houses are still uncertain and want to see how the fundraiser goes before they back a candidate.”
The fundraiser for all the Horns to petition for donations and convince the budgets to lean in their favor over another department.
The councilor let out a soft whine and spun toward the window, the cape of his diamond-patterned pink jacket billowing behind him.
“I should make another speech about the humans and what good we’ve done with them.
Dedicate a bench in Midmost Dell, or… plant a shrubbery.
One that looks nice, not too expensive…”
Rose grimaced. It’s not like she didn’t know most of his hospitality came with the ulterior motive of reelection, but to hear it so plainly and then be compared in importance to a shrubbery was…
A tap drew her attention to the left, where Mozke lifted their notebook so she could see their notes.
Not notes.
Help me. Along with a stick-figure rendition of Argeth planting a shrubbery.
Rosalind snorted into her tea, but that wasn’t the end of it. Mozke flipped the page, this time revealing a bunch of scribbles around the border and swirly, floral lettering in the middle that read I’m so fucking bored.
Argeth still had his back turned, mumbling about the fundraiser and a long list of things he still needed to confirm.
All things that Rosalind could do—wanted to do, because fetching tea and lunch while also having to scrounge up information on the other women because no one else would was getting exhausting.
She could do more. She could be helpful, and she was getting restless being stuck with nothing meaningful.
Mozke flipped their notebook page once more, two names in less fanciful script popping out at her.
Brioni is fine. She talks too much, even for me.
Aofe, checked on, good health—do you think I could pull off a nose ring?
It was a small update, but one that Rosalind desperately needed. And knowing it was Mozke who had the information made her feel that restlessness ease a fraction.
The other humans were doing okay, but as soon as that thought settled, the louder one took over. The one that said it wasn’t enough, and she should demand to be heard instead of sent on useless errands. She should force them to sit down and listen to her, for once.
“Councilor,” Mozke called, sweeping out of their chair. “I need the human for the rest of the day. Out of the office.”
“Oh,” Argeth said, turning with a frown. “I was—”
“Very important. Polling ideas. Investigation into shrubberies.” Mozke’s pale blue hand wrapped around Rosalind’s upper arm and tugged her out of her seat. “The human has excellent experience in shrubbery upkeep.”
“Wait, I do?”
Claws teased at her bicep. Friendly, but urging her to shut up.
“Yes, yes,” Rosalind blurted as she stumbled to follow Mozke’s tugging grip. “I love shrubberies. Maybe a two-level effect, with a little path running down the middle.”
The door closed behind them, but not before Rosalind saw Argeth’s interest piqued at her last offer. But Mozke didn’t stop at their desk, nor did they stop at all as they dragged Rose from the office.
“Are we really looking into shrubberies?” Rosalind whispered as she hurried to keep up.
“I already know a demon,” Mozke said with a dismissive flick of their wrist, and once they were under the daymoonlit sky, they spun Rose around in front of them and gripped her by the upper arms. “Gods, who is feeding you? These arms are like sticks.”
Rosalind wiggled out of their hold. “Hush. I’ll have you know I am the strongest in my family.”
“Then it’s the stress.”
She looked away.
“That’s what I thought. You work too hard, human. The others are fine.” And then Mozke was ushering her down the steps. “I don’t know how human hearts work, but if they’re like a demon’s, it cannot be healthy for yours to beat so fast all the time.”
Rosalind pressed a hand to her chest. Funny enough, this was almost normal for her. “I liked it better when I could get away with no one hearing that.”
“Then you’ll like me a whole lot less when I tell you we’re done working for today.”
“But—”
“And I’m taking you out tonight.”
Rose tripped. “Taking… what?”
“Please tell me you’ve gone to a tavern before.” Curiosity quickly morphed into horror. “Oh my gods, have you ever been on a date?”
“I’ve been on dates!” Rosalind protested, which definitely sounded like she hadn’t been on any, and her racing heart from nerves didn’t help either. “So many dates. Lots of dates.”
That sounded even worse.
“Dates with a ledger don’t count,” the blue demon teased. “You need some fun for once in your life. Real fun that doesn’t involve numbers.” They cocked their head, looking her up and down. “Well, actually, I shouldn’t rule that out.”
Rosalind’s cheeks burned, a tiny kernel of fear rooting itself in her belly. “Would… how does that even work?”
Mozke eyed her with a new kind of uncertainty. “Are we talking… females? Males? Neither or both or—”
“Gods, I know what sex is, Mozke,” she hissed, offering a polite smile to a passing demon who was absolutely judging her. “I meant, like… are humans and demons even compatible?”
They sighed, relief softening their shoulders. “Can’t imagine why not. We procreate, perhaps not quite at the same frequency as humans, but the parts are all… close enough. Don’t ask me how I learned. I know a demon who likes rare books.”
Great, now Rosalind was going to have to worry about a contraceptive for the other women. She didn’t have the slightest clue on what ingredients were needed, let alone how to properly combine them. And she didn’t want to ask Aofe when the woman was probably dealing with her own list of tasks.
Then she frowned. “Wait, what do you mean close enough?”
Which was a question she absolutely should not have asked while they were still walking in public because Mozke was more than willing to go into detail about some of their male partners and what Rosalind might expect should a demon ever interest her.
At least the more elaborate descriptions happened once they were home, and Mozke was too busy digging through their closet so they couldn’t see how red Rose’s cheeks were getting.
“It locks inside?” Rosalind gasped, hugging her knees as Mozke inspected each outfit twice before moving on to the next.
“Oh, yeah. Knots are, like, top three for me.” They pulled out a mesh silver top, held it up in the air toward Rose, then shook their head and put it back.
“What about females?”
They paused, looking over their shoulder. “Can they get you pregnant? Oh, Rose, sweetie. No. That’s not how reproduction works. I thought we were getting there with the knots and the locking seed inside—”
She grabbed a pillow and chucked it at them.
When their laughter finally died out, they leaned against the closet door and shook their head. “Pleasure points are inside, so you’ll have to be a little more creative with your hands. Or use some outside assistance. If you go home with someone, they’ll definitely have some things to try.”
Rosalind scoffed, still unsettled how Mozke knew so much about human anatomy. “I am absolutely not going home with someone.”
“Not with that attitude.”
“Mozke!”
“What?” They gestured at her. “You’re objectively beautiful, even without a tail. And you deserve at least one night of unrestrained fun after all you’ve been doing for the other humans. They’ll still be there tomorrow morning.”
“You do realize two of them are the equivalent of a caged, feral raccoon.”
“The fuck is a raccoon?”
“If I don’t worry about them, who will?”
Mozke set down the bright pink shirt they were holding, coming to join her on the bed. They wrapped an arm over her shoulders. “Then who worries about you?”
Rose opened and closed her mouth.
“Exactly. Let them be adults for one night. Come out with me, have a few drinks, and get absolutely fucked into oblivion so you can relax for once.”
Rosalind shoved them off with an offended gasp, undermined by her own laughter as Mozke cackled and returned to the closet.