Chapter 15 Temptation
TEMPTATION
Davarox
Davarox was hunkered in a back booth, biding time before he'd need to go into the back. He knew his schedule, knew exactly the number of drinks he'd need to make this work, and knew precisely how much guilt he'd harbor for the rest of his lifetime over it all.
The wine was chilled—not his favorite, but the glass felt good in his hands. The buzz of one drink downed and another quick to be empty.
Sometimes he looked at the contrast of red liquid to his gray skin and wondered. Down here, that part of him didn't need to be concealed. To maintain anonymity, his horns and features were always different, but not his skin. Here, his lack of magic wasn't shameful.
The seductive voice of the day's entertainment floated around him. It was nice. Better than the last time he'd been here. He could almost lose himself in the vocals and the plucking bass accompanying them.
Dav was proven wrong when, between one chord and the next, he had the misfortune of looking across the room.
To find Rosalind.
Rosalind.
A human, no illusion, staring at him across the crowd as his world crashed around him.
For an eternity, Dav couldn't breathe. It was like all the air collected into a fist and punched him square in the chest. He was reeling, heart clamoring and fighting with his brain for the blood to keep him from passing out.
Neither were winning, which meant neither was Davarox.
Still, with the club starting to spin and his seat no longer steady, one thing was clear.
Rosalind's wide eyes and her first steps.
Toward him.
He only blinked once, maybe twice, and then she was standing there, outside his booth. Whispering something, maybe, but it didn't feel real. It felt fleeting, in one ear and out the other, without leaving an imprint on his mind.
This was his nightmare, or new nightmare, he supposed, in between gasping breaths.
Rosalind finding out his darkest secret instead of Lazerath.
The woman who looked a little too closely at him, at the books, at the things he'd spent years keeping secret.
She was always too close, and Dav had ignored every warning because he'd...
“Dav, baby.”
Two hands were on his face, pulling his attention back to the space around him. They were no longer in the atrium, and vaguely he took in the decor of one of the private rooms in back. He had no idea how or when he’d made it back here.
He knelt on the floor, Rosalind half in his lap as she held his face to hers, voice soft despite the circumstances. “Three colors and objects.”
The way her mouth continued to move, it wasn’t the first time she’d given the order, but somehow that one stuck.
“Your blue sweater. Dark brown walls. That hideous tan blanket.”
“Two breaths.”
The air caught in his lungs, tongue dry as he fought to obey. “I can’t—”
“What do you smell?”
Dav’s first inhale was too desperate, but then he was trying again and again until something caught. Until his lungs were full again and his head wasn’t spinning so much. “Warm cinnamon and sugar.”
Rosalind slapped a hand over her mouth. “Fuck, I still have bad breath from breakfast?”
His head was just clear enough for him to laugh, or maybe it was a sob as he choked out, “I thought I was supposed to curse.”
He didn’t expect her to laugh, didn’t expect her to be here at all, so when her features softened into concern, that fear threatened to pull him right back under.
“Hey, no,” she whispered, and then she was hugging him.
Dav didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know if he should wrap his arms around her or if he even deserved her touch. Didn’t know if he should push her away in shame or sink into her hold and never leave that comfort.
What he did do was collapse, like his entire body had lost its will to remain upright. But Rosalind was there, whispering soothing words against his temple and hair. Gentle, when all he deserved was her anger and the guilt crushing him from the inside.
His voice cracked as he buried himself against her shoulder. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
Her reassurances didn’t change, nor did the soft way she stroked his head and neck as she held him close.
“You should hate me for this. I never touched another demon the moment you came into my life, but I still… There were things I could still do to earn coin for the bakery… I’m so sorry,” he mumbled, unable to pull away. “Please, why don’t you hate me?”
“Why would I hate you?” Her arms tightened around him. “You know, I had a million things going through my head when I followed you. Maybe demon sex club wasn’t on the list, but the moment I saw you?”
Dav didn’t want to look, but her fingers were under his chin, tilting his head back so he could see those soft features where there should have been anger or betrayal or any other devastated emotion that she was justified in feeling.
Instead, there was a dampness lingering in the corners of her eyes as she smiled.
She knew.
Somehow. Somehow this human knew every raw piece that Davarox had hidden for years. Not once had she accused him of something deplorable like cheating, as if she really did see and believe the good in him that he’d tried so hard to give her.
Her lips wobbled, eyes taking him in and soothing pain he had thought would never go away.
“For what it’s worth, they are not paying you enough for whatever you’re doing here.
” Some sound escaped him that he couldn’t identify and was probably disgusting, but her features were still bright.
“Bet you’re wishing you’d never let me near your books. ”
He wet his lips. “I wasn’t going to come back.”
“But you wanted a safety? In case the fundraiser didn’t go well?”
“I believe in it, but…”
“You’re always preparing for the worst-case scenario.”
“You can’t tell Laz.”
“Hey, of course not.” Rose adjusted her grip on him. “But you know he wouldn’t care about this, right? He cares about you, not—”
It was his face. It was the flinch of his eye or the clench of his jaw or some other minuscule flare of his nostrils that were too subtle for any demon to pick up. But this human, with her kind heart and ever-observant gaze who could strip him bare in seconds, saw it. Felt it.
Her sigh was audible. “You love him.”
His whole body trembled.
Rose’s brow softened, something new in her gaze that he was too terrified to name. “Dav, I don’t question what you feel for me, but is it maybe not enough?”
Tears sprung to his eyes, and it was instinct to try to turn away. While she let him, her hands didn’t leave his cheeks, thumbs running over his damp skin.
“Baby, please look at me. It’s okay.”
“You are enough, Rosalind,” he choked out, shaking his head. “Please, I can’t—I can’t lose him.”
“I know.” Her tone was so certain that he had to blink to clear the blurriness from his eyes just to make sure. “But it’s killing you, isn’t it?”
There was a sadness in her voice now, not one of jealousy or anger, but empathy and understanding. It made every wall he’d ever built crumble.
“He can’t love me, not… not like I love him. Gods, I love him so much, Rose. So much. I never thought—”
Her thumbs swiped away a tear. “You never thought someone would find out.” She closed her eyes, pressing her forehead to his. “Baby, I hate to say this, but you’re really bad at hiding it.”
“I think you’re just too observant.”
“And I think you might not give him enough credit.”
“Rose.” Dav pulled away. “I proposed to him.”
She blinked. “What?”
“A blightspawn cake. And he… thought it was for the display.”
Rosalind stared at him.
He stared back.
Then he saw the twitch.
“Don’t you dare,” he warned.
She snorted, then slapped a hand over her mouth. “I’m sorry,” she said through her fingers, eyes crinkling at the edges. “It’s not funny.”
She was still fighting laughter.
Davarox groaned and buried his face in her shoulder again. “Gods, it’s so embarrassing.”
“No, no,” Rose said through her soft chuckles, gathering him in her small arms. “That’s… that’s just Laz. He can be so in tune with you and still miss the most obvious signs.”
“Years, Rosalind. I’ve kept this secret since the day we met.”
She was back to petting his back with a gentle hand. “You really think he hasn’t noticed? What about Severath?”
Dav huffed. “He might be more oblivious than Laz.”
Rose was quiet for long enough that he had to shift, but this time he was the one pulling her into his arms. He eased them until his back was against the bedframe, letting her rest her head against his chest as he stroked a thumb over her shoulder.
“I am sorry you found out this way,” he said. “And I meant it when I said… you are enough.”
Her arms tightened. “Dav—”
“I was miserable until you, Rose. I didn’t know that it could feel…” He fumbled for words, then reached down and moved her hand to rest over his heart. “Like this. Just because I feel something for him doesn’t mean there’s not enough in here for you.”
She tapped her fingers over his chest. “You know, I think there are two of us in this room who understand that more than anyone.”
He smiled and kissed the top of her head. “I suppose you’re right.”
“But I also think,” she began, tilting her chin up so she could look at him, “that maybe you don’t have to be so afraid.”
“He doesn’t—”
“Maybe not. But what if he does?”
Davarox shook his head, looking away so he could gather himself before hope rooted itself in his chest. “It would ruin everything.”
Her palm slid against his cheek, bringing his gaze back. “I think that is insulting to the friendship ingrained in your blood. But I also understand, okay? And I want you to know that no matter what, you need to put Laz and your friendship over everything. Including me.”
The growl was deep, unintentional but not at all surprising to him as his tail wound itself around her middle. “You’re not going anywhere.”