Chapter 23 The Best Friend Confession
THE BEST FRIEND CONFESSION
Lazerath
The moon hadn’t yet risen as Lazerath stared at the ceiling of his bedchamber. He willed his body to stay still, to not vibrate himself right off the bed or disturb Rosalind who was still fast asleep in the crook of his arm.
The warmth that had rounded out the comfort of the bed had left some time ago, though Laz could smell the citrus and cinnamon wafting from the kitchen as Davarox worked silently.
Laz swallowed, wondering if at any point he’d slept since they’d all but stumbled back to his apartment. Rosalind had passed out easily, surprising no one, but between he and Dav, there didn’t seem to be a lot of sleep. Too many twitching fingers and restless legs and flicking tails.
It was all Laz’s fault.
His mind had been scrambled since the moment Davarox admitted the truth of his anger toward Lazerath’s twin. A fucking custard, something so small, had meant the fucking world to Davarox.
And maybe it had also meant nothing, but Laz had read into it too much. He’d started seeing things that weren’t there. Looks that felt longer than necessary, touches that seared his skin, words that seemed more guarded and practiced.
He must have been imagining it all, but he’d followed that ridiculous, fleeting idea of feeling something more for his best friend.
Let it niggle in his chest too long without saying anything, which was so unlike him, and then he’d imagined an entire scenario where maybe he did find his best friend attractive.
Maybe thought his friend harbored something for him, too.
It’s not like Laz hadn’t maybe, possibly, considered he wasn’t exclusively attracted to females.
Sometimes he observed Dav and a male partner with a little more curiosity than was probably decent.
Once or twice he’d caught himself watching Ozirax, but he’d usually dismissed it.
He was pretty certain everyone found the purple demon attractive.
But this is what Laz got for choosing action over words, though both had a history of getting him in trouble. He’d heard Dav’s order to prove himself and saw a chance to… see if what he was feeling was real.
And it was.
It was to Laz.
It wasn’t just curiosity that had him desperate for a taste.
He had wanted it, ever since the first thought of some other demon touching Dav had crossed his mind.
He didn’t give a fuck what happened in Temptation, only that he was unable to cope with the idea that it had been someone else’s hands on Dav’s thighs, their tail teasing him, their mouth bringing him pleasure.
What kind of best friend was he to just… go right for inhaling Dav’s cock without fucking asking if it was okay?
He’d fucked things up, but there was a story he could spin, right?
He’d gotten lost in the moment. He’d taken one taste of Dav’s arousal on Rose’s tongue and thought a quick suck from the source would be hot.
Or he could tell the whole truth—that he was starting to wonder if maybe all this time, he was in love with his best friend and maybe he wasn’t only interested in the human they’d brought into their lives.
Fucking hells, Laz couldn’t get his mind to settle.
Dav had shifted smoothly back into his commanding self, but that was just who he was. Dav could ignore the lingering tension. At least until he’d given up first and gotten out of bed.
Dav was probably out there trying to figure out how to broach the awkwardness that would now linger between them.
One foolish mistake, even if mistake was the very last thing it was to Laz. But he could pretend. Maybe convince Sev to throw a punch like he used to when they were kids, but ask him to aim for the part of Laz’s head where he could forget all his new way-beyond-friendship feelings.
Laz knew he needed to face this. Fix whatever rift he’d caused and ignore the weird pit in his chest that made him wonder if maybe Rosalind wasn’t the only missing piece of his soul.
If maybe he hadn’t noticed it immediately because Dav had just always been slotted where he needed to be, and this was his heart finally catching up—
No, no. He was getting ahead of himself again, but he couldn’t hide from the conversation forever. Feeling returned to his hand in pins and needles after unhooking it from underneath Rosalind, and she hummed and nestled back into the pillow.
Lazerath shrugged on a pair of loose pants, tucking the blanket over Rose’s shoulders before bracing himself for the worst.
Lazerath snuck out of the bedchamber, closing the door behind him before turning and freezing.
Davarox stood shirtless in the kitchen, though maybe slumped was a more appropriate description for his posture.
His hands were braced on the counter, head hanging and braid barely contained in its tie.
Behind him sat a tray of glazed scones—one of Lazerath’s favorite breakfasts, though with the distinct smell of Rosalind’s preference for spiced treats.
Oh, Laz had really fucked it all up.
Gut-clenching fear ripped through him when Davarox cleared his throat. Dav’s eyes were still locked on the countertop as he spoke. “I need to tell you something.”
Laz’s world tipped. The ground didn’t feel solid at his feet, and he was dying a slow, miserable death in a zcoria pit in the following silence.
That was his best friend across the room, just a few feet between them, but Laz felt miles away. He’d lost something more precious than the air itself, and this was how he would bleed out. His heart would just stop pumping, and he’d collapse from the inside out.
But he could salvage this. He could fix it and get his best friend back. He would ignore the ridiculous notion that he might not be attracted to all males, but he was definitely attracted to the one standing in his apartment right now.
His life wouldn’t be exactly how he wanted it to be, but at least his best friend would still be in it.
“Dav,” Laz started, inching forward.
He swallowed.
Took a breath.
Tried to figure out how to pretend the line he’d crossed last night was simply a go-with-the-flow thing and he was sorry for failing to get consent.
But Dav’s head lifted, and that was devastating anguish in his eyes. The breath punched from Lazerath’s lungs.
Then shattered his entire being when Dav rasped, “I love you.”
Lazerath distantly felt his tail fall limp, feet rooted to the ground as he stared.
Dav’s shoulders were hiked up to his ears as his arms pressed into the counter, like he was forcing himself to stand still. But alongside that anguish was a truth Laz could not deny.
“I love you,” Dav repeated, the words spilling from his very being.
“I’ve loved you. Probably from the moment I met you.
And I know I should have told you, but I just fucking—” His inhale was ragged, body trembling.
“I fucking needed you in my life in any way I could have. But things are different with Rosalind, and that’s not me blaming anyone but myself for lying. For thinking… this could work.”
Davarox scrubbed a hand down his face, loosening more hair around his temples. “I’m dying inside, Laz. I’m fucking miserable because of my own shitty decisions and fear that I could lose the first thing I ever cared about in this world. But then last night…”
Lazerath’s tongue was stuck. He couldn’t open his fucking mouth in fear that he’d vomit.
Dav choked on a sob. “Last night, after you… I’m losing two things, now.
I tried shoving it all down and fucking other demons and going to that place thinking that’s all I needed, but it’s not.
I love you, and I can’t fucking tear that piece out of me or pretend it doesn’t exist anymore.
” His eyes squeezed shut, a tear rolling down his cheek as he tried to catch his breath.
“I fucking love you, Laz, and I can’t pretend otherwise. ”
Dav pressed a palm to his mouth, squeezing hard enough to indent his cheeks before throwing that hand behind him. “Those are… my apology. Tell her… I don’t know. Something. Just know I’m so fucking sorry for dragging it along this far. I know you’ll care for her where I fucked up.”
Laz’s world was tipping again. He stumbled forward, finding the edge of the counter for balance. “So… what?” he asked, voice hoarse. “You’re just going to walk out that door because you’ve decided what’s best for us?”
“You know it is,” Dav snapped, though it lacked any vitriol. Or maybe it was directed internally. “Don’t tell me you weren’t up all night regretting what you did or wondering if you could face me again knowing how much I fucking enjoyed your mouth on my cock.”
“Don’t fucking put words in my mouth,” Laz growled back, sliding around the counter to jab a finger at Dav’s chest. “Tell me again to my fucking face, Dav. Tell me how much you loved when I swallowed your cock to the back of my throat.”
Dav stared at the spot where Lazerath’s finger indented his chest, torso rising and falling at an increasing pace. Slowly, he lifted his dark gaze, brow pinched in confusion.
“What?”
Lazerath yanked his arm back, spreading both wide. “You think I was up all night regretting putting my mouth on you? Or was it where I got harder while choking on your cock? What about when I fucking moaned feeling you slide against my length while we fucked Rosalind together?”
Dav swallowed, head shaking. “Laz, what—”
“The only thing I fucking regret is not asking for your consent, but now that you’ve decided what’s best for us without asking for ours, I’m going to make something very fucking clear.”
Lazerath closed the distance and crushed his mouth to Dav’s.
The anger that had been churning in Laz’s gut was drowned out the moment his lips were on Dav, uncaring that he’d gone in too fast with his fangs scraping against his tongue. Because it wasn’t his tongue at all, but Dav’s immediately finding his, sweeping in and deepening the contact.