Chapter 24 Bonds and Chains #2
Laz’s grin was bright, and Davarox felt like a fucking rock in comparison to that joy. “You’re fantastic. But that’s not what I was going to ask. It’s about… Well, did Mozke tell you anything about soulbonds?”
It was because Dav was so close to her that he felt the stutter in her step. “Oh, gods, they mentioned it. But only the term.” Her inhale was sharp. “I did something wrong. What did I say? I’m so sorry, I didn’t—”
“No, no, beautiful. Nothing wrong,” Laz reassured her. “It’s this… feeling. Like there’s love, and then there’s this something extra. When the demon, er, person, you love sort of feels like… they’re part of you. Your soul—gods, I’m fucking this up.”
“Hey, no, wait,” Rosalind said, hands cupping Laz’s cheeks. She flashed a look over her shoulder at Dav, confusion marring her brow. But just as she was turning, her head whipped back to Dav again. “Dav? What’s going on?”
He swallowed and took a step back, shaking his head. “Just… he’ll get the words out.”
Her head was shaking, but she turned back to Laz, hands smoothing over his shoulders. “I love you, Laz. It’s—why are you nervous?”
“I think you’re part of my soul, Rose.” Lazerath huffed a laugh, relief softening his shoulders now that he’d finally said the words. “A piece of me, deeper than just love. Demons have a ritual around it, and I’m supposed to offer you a blightspawn heart—”
“That sounds disgusting.”
“It’s so gross,” Laz agreed. “But it’s super archaic and involves hunting, and I am shit when it comes to hunting, if there are even any blightspawn out there anymore, so usually there’s a cake we present—”
Lazerath went utterly still.
Lifted his head slowly until he met Davarox’s gaze, noticing the distance Dav had created. Then glanced around like he was seeing the world for the first time. The glares pointed at the guest tainting their event.
Dav wanted to disappear into the crowd to avoid the pieces Laz was suddenly putting together, but the crowd was his enemy. They saw his weakness, his lack of magic, his uselessness.
And if he stayed with them another moment, they would feel it too.
“Watch where you swing that thing,” a female growled, jerking away from his tail.
“Don’t get too close, he’ll leech your color.”
“I’d be that miserable too, if I didn’t have magic.”
Rosalind’s eyes went wide, fury vibrating through her as her glare whipped to a demon over Dav’s shoulder. “Watch your mouth, you miserable—”
“Don’t.”
Her jaw snapped shut, more eyes falling their way. Behind Rose, Laz was still staring at him, dumbstruck.
“Don’t bother,” Dav said to her. None of it was true, obviously, except maybe being miserable. Because he was, though it had nothing to do with magic.
This room was just the start, but they’d see. Anywhere they went, anywhere outside of the three of them, these sorts of comments would persist. Maybe not as boldly as the nobles, but it would carve away at Dav. He alone could weather the sharp words and jabs.
But he would never bring those he loved down with him.
Without another glance at Lazerath, Dav beelined for the exit. Ignored the bodies that dove out of his way and the curses that followed. Kept walking until he was outside under starlight, unable to breathe, unable to think—
A hand clamped on his shoulder, whipping him around.
“What the fuck?” Lazerath snapped, fury and agony and something desperate in his gaze. And when he didn’t answer, Laz shoved at his chest. “Seriously, what the fuck?”
Davarox threw a hand up to the building. “Isn’t it obvious?”
“No! No it fucking isn’t, Dav.” Laz tugged at his hair, shaking his head. “Those demons are fucking assholes, okay? You know I don’t believe anything they said. Nor does Rose.”
The human rushed down the steps, trying to catch up, but Davarox couldn’t. He couldn’t fucking do this when he was already hurting the two beings he loved.
“That’s just the start, Laz,” he gasped, begged for his friend to understand.
“I can’t fucking stand the thought of being close to you, to Rose.
” He balled his hands into fists. “You are both so happy. You deserve to be happy and to dance at parties or eat on a rooftop or walk in the park, but I can’t do that.
I am just a dead weight, a miserable grump—”
“Was that cake for me?”
Dav’s tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth.
“Answer the fucking question!” Lazerath scratched at his horn with claws, turning away before spinning back. “You made that fucking blightspawn cake for me, didn’t you?”
“It was a display—”
“It wasn’t a fucking display!” Tears built in Lazerath’s eyes, and behind him, Rosalind clutched at her stomach, her lip wobbling. “I fucking love you, Davarox. I love Rosalind and I love you and, gods, you gave me that cake and I dismissed you.”
Dav swallowed against the burning in his throat, hating every lie that bubbled to the surface and over his tongue as he stepped back. “It meant nothing.”
Lazerath shook his head. “Cruelty isn’t you, Dav. You can’t lie to me. Just because it took me this long to figure it out doesn’t mean you get to treat me like that.” Laz gripped at his chest, fist clenching over his heart. “You’re part of my soul, too.”
“You’re only saying that because of those demons.”
“Don’t you dare blame me for that demon not giving me two more fucking minutes to ramble my way through nervous confessions. That’s their problem, not ours.”
Dav took another step back, shaking his head.
Laz snarled, then gestured to Rose. “Say she isn’t your soulbonded.”
Tears streamed down her face, but Dav knew. Knew that there was no point in lying when the truth was already there. Lazerath could feel it, she could feel it, but they would resent him. One day, they would understand.
His jaw clenched, willing all that darkness within him to spill out.
“Trust me,” he rasped, getting one last look at their heartbreak as he let it destroy what was left of him before turning away. “He’ll love you how you deserve. You’re better without me.”
He let her sobs torture him well after they’d faded from his ears, a steady knife plunging deeper and deeper until even his reasons for leaving turned foggy.