Chapter 20 #2
I sigh. “There is too much pressure. I don’t want to have a party or something and then no one shows up.
It’s easier not to bother.” For the past few years, my mom and Taylor (and then Nadya too) would find a really nice restaurant in Santa Barbara.
Then we’d pick up birthday cake ice cream on the drive home.
Since Taylor and Nadya are going to be here, we can keep up that tradition.
Maybe we’ll go to Nobody Puts Pancakes in a Corner and see their Dirty Dancing re-enactment.
And maybe add Theo? And Arden? And Matt? I tighten my arms over my chest. When did my list of people double in size? I’ve only been here a month. But when I think about doing something to celebrate, they’re all there too.
Theo’s mouth dips into a deep frown. “Maybe I will send Mercy after those kids you went to school with.” His tone has that edge again. Ready to slice. I like it more than I want to think about: this idea that someone would want to defend me. Protect me. That I am worth those things.
I run my hand over a few of the small tables in front of me. I’ve already been vulnerable in so many ways with Theo today, and I need to rebuild my defenses again. At least a little. I am not used to letting anyone see this much of me anymore.
“Why are you so sure it’s Mercy?”
That owl-eyed expression pops onto his face again. “Wait, so you believe me now, about the house?”
I hold up my hands. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let’s take a beat here. Gravity Hill was cool, and I admit that I can’t explain why the road works that way, but one strange illusion has not converted me.”
His face falls.
“But I care what you think.” I won’t keep taunting and teasing him now that I know why he wants to believe in ghosts so much. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to jump on board the conspiracy theory train. I doubt there’s anything that could make me do that.
Still, I’m curious about his theories. Even though we’ve both read Mercy’s diaries, I’m not sure we see her the same way.
He plops himself into a nearby computer chair and starts rolling it back and forth.
“The facts all line up. The family got sick after Harmony’s father saw Mercy return to the house.
Mercy had been gone for twenty-four hours and no one knows where she was or what she was doing, but the well was the last place she was seen before then.
And her body was never found.” He maneuvers the chair over to me, and taking my arm, he gently tugs me down so I’m perched on one of his thighs.
Every alarm in my body is blaring at this point.
Sitting in someone’s lap is number one on my list of things that I will never do as a plus-size person (followed by exercising in public and being the one to ask about getting food when I’m with strangers).
I’m too conscious of my size. I won’t even sit on Taylor’s lap for selfies, though she’s happy to flop down on me.
So imagine my absolute panic as I find myself balanced on the thigh of this guy who has just kissed me, who I like more and more every second. I tense every muscle in my body, as if by sitting pin-straight and completely still I can make myself lighter.
“This okay?” Theo asks quietly.
I nod, but I can’t relax.
He seems to recognize this. “Hey,” he murmurs. He waits to say anything else until I look at him. I can’t quite interpret his expression, but it makes every part of me go pins and needles. “I got you.”
That’s all he says, but I hear the thousand other words behind these three. He understands exactly what I’m freaking out about, and it’s not an issue.
Wrapping an arm around my waist, he continues navigating the chair around the small office area.
I’m not used to having a guy touch me. And Theo seems to want to.
That thought takes me back to Gravity Hill.
To that unnerving yet exhilarating feeling of the world not looking the way you thought it did.
“So, what? The house absorbed Mercy’s body?
” I desperately need to think about something else.
If I keep focusing on being in Theo’s lap, his breath warm on my arm, and his hand solid against my belly, the synapses in my brain are going to explode like a minefield where every explosive was triggered at the same time.
He presses his cheek to my bicep so he can peer into my face. “I don’t think her body ever came back to the house. I think she died at that well and her spirit is what returned.”
“And you think that spirit killed her whole family, and has been killing or hurting everyone else who has tried to live in that house since?” I clarify.
He nods.
“But the girl writing in that journal wasn’t angry or violent. She was sad. She was lonely. She wanted to control something.”
“Those types of intense emotions can warp a spirit into something sinister.”
I don’t want to believe that. I have been as sad and lonely as Mercy sounded in her journal entries. I am always trying to control everything. And I would never hurt anyone. I am not ready to believe that she would either.
Even if it is just a theory about a ghost that doesn’t exist.
“And what happens if you prove that this spirit—whether it is Mercy or not—exists?” Without thinking, I brush a strand of his hair out of his eyes. It’s silky, and the wave curls around my knuckle. The way his face lights up when I touch him makes me want to do it again.
So I do. I find another wild strand and tuck it behind his ear.
His head angles toward my hand like he’s made of metal and I’m holding a magnet.
“We have to figure out who it is first. And why they’re there. That’s the only way to release them.”
“How do you release them?”
“Depends. Sometimes a séance is enough, talking to them can help them let go. Sometimes an exorcism. Or, if they’re really stuck, you have to find their bones and salt and burn them.”
For a second, I imagine Theo splashing holy water on the walls of my house and shouting in Latin, and I almost choke on the laugh that’s fighting its way up my throat. “Do you have a priest outfit for your exorcisms?” I joke.
He spins us around once and then angles the chair so I’m back on my feet. “Aren’t we supposed to be finding you furniture?”
The fact that he won’t answer my question is, quite frankly, terrifying.