Chapter 18
HEART TRUE
Kalypso
Kalypso’s back hit Ozirax’s bedchamber’s door, no time to even punch out a breath before his lips were on hers. Fighting. Demanding. Filling her with his taste alongside the scones he’d reluctantly shared with her.
She let out a moan as he dragged his kiss down her throat, sucking on her pulse point. She tilted her head, encouraging him lower as she worked the buttons on his jacket.
A difficult feat, considering she currently had her legs wrapped around his waist.
A fist banging against the door repeatedly had them both freezing.
“You know, there are others who live here,” Rand shouted over his knock, though there was no malice in his voice. “Have you considered, I don’t know, going one night without marathon sex?”
Ozirax leaned back with a snarl, calling over her shoulder, “Go stick your pretty dick in your fist somewhere else, asshole.”
“I’ll do whatever the fuck I like,” the yellow demon yelled back, his voice farther away.
Ozirax’s gaze fell back to her, and he frowned. “What?”
“How do you know he has a pretty dick?”
His mouth popped open, briefly, then snapped closed again.
Kalypso gaped. “Oh my gods, this is why you were so jealous of him? Does he have a prettier dick than you? Does he have more piercings—”
Ozirax’s mouth crashed into hers again, fangs scraping against her lower lip.
It was almost enough for her to forget about her laughter, forget about the taunts and the emotions of the night, but then he had to soften his touch.
Support her weight with one hand and a tail so he could hold a burning palm to her cheek.
Had to sweep her hair aside and press his tongue to the junction of her neck and shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered into her skin as he peeled his jacket off while still holding her up.
Kaly’s skin pebbled under his breath. “For—”
“Abandoning you tonight.”
Her heart stuttered, and then it truly was fear spreading through her limbs, no rage to drive out the feeling as everything she’d been avoiding came crashing down again.
Ozirax set her down gently, but he didn’t retreat. His claw traced one of the chains on her lingerie, the point so close to her skin, but not the most dangerous threat at the moment. “You asked me for a distraction, and I left you. I should have stayed, but…”
His hand stopped at her sternum, then slid back to the place under her breast. Along her ribs that were rising and falling rapidly with her breath.
The truth he’d known all along.
He lifted his gaze away from his touch, and it was something like agony on his face. “Spicy.”
It should have been bodies. It should have remained bodies. She wasn’t meant to drag someone into this mess with her, hurt someone else in the process.
There was a fire in her throat, a hollowness in her belly, and a thumping in her chest. A swirl of emotions pulling her in every direction and making it impossible to focus. Dizzying. Confusing. Devastating.
“I can’t—”
At the crack in her voice, Ozirax’s hand cradled her face, thumb swiping over her cheek. She hadn’t felt the tear fall, but that wetness burned on her skin as he continued to brush over her cheekbone. Her eyes closed, as if she might shut out the world and make sense of the turmoil inside her.
Warmth rested against her forehead, his breath soft against her nose and lips as he whispered, “I never should have made a bet about your feelings.”
He shifted, a gentle warmth pressing against the tip of her nose. “I never should have left you like that tonight.”
His lips moved to her dry cheek. “You are not your mother.”
A kiss to her damp cheek alongside the hand still holding her reverently. “You are not your rage.”
Kalypso sucked in a shuddering breath, blinking through blurry eyes until she met his determined stare.
“Let me show you, just once, that this is not a weakness. Let me prove you’re safe.” Ozirax leaned closer, black eyes swirling in the demonlight. “With me.”
Hadn’t she known it for some time now?
The trust he’d placed in her in the Dreadmoor. The fear on his face when she was injured. The constant need to be the outlet for all her anger, but also his ability to see everything about her and just…
Be there.
Ozirax hadn’t abandoned her. He’d just recognized it before she had. Given herself—himself—the space. All for this moment.
Kalypso’s lip trembled, but no words escaped.
He only smiled. No hate. No disappointment.
No judgement. “You don’t have to admit it, Kaly.
Because I understand.” His hand tightened on her ribs to emphasize his point.
“When all you’ve ever known were your own sharp edges, you start to wonder if you’re broken.
If everyone that comes near you will walk away bloody. If maybe it’s better that way.”
Ozirax grazed a finger over her temple, rubbing a strand of hair between his fingers. “Then you find someone else, with their own spikes raised, and after some patience, maybe a little maneuvering, you realize they fit right alongside your own.”
Kalypso sniffed, shaking her head. “Everyone I’ve ever cared for, I’ve hurt. I don’t know how to let go and… I don’t want to become a prison for you, too.”
“I’m not leaving you, Spicy.” He gripped her wrist gently, setting it atop his beating heart and holding it trapped.
“This is yours. Whether you hold it softly, crush it in your fist, or finally learn how to let go, it was yours from the moment you first tried to punch me. And it will remain yours beyond my last breath.”
The words were a whisper, a dusting over her lips right before she closed the distance.
Kalypso drew him in with that kiss, filled her lungs with his presence. There was the solidity of his body against hers, the heat of his hands dipping under her blouse, the push of his hips against hers.
Ozirax spun her, and there was a newness in letting him take control. In the way her mind had stopped pushing back and allowed her to simply accept giving up a power that she had once felt was her only safety.
Because he was safe, even as he guided her to the bed. He was safe as he laid her atop the mattress while never leaving her lips. He was safe as his weight hovered, waiting for permission, before her hands found his waist and pulled him atop her.
Kaly didn’t mind when cool air brushed against her shoulders, when his wandering hands exposed her chest and left her bare beyond the few dangling chains of her lingerie.
She didn’t shy away when his lips pressed against the precious ink on her collarbone and he stripped every last piece of clothing from her body and then his own.
“There is nothing about you I don’t crave.” Ozirax licked over her nipple, fingers following and flicking until it was a hardened point. “I once thought it impossible for someone to see me. To meet me where I could be myself, completely. To live out of the shadows of others.”
Kaly whispered his name with each kiss along her breast, her throat, her jaw. Until his lips pressed against her chin and he lifted over her, waiting patiently.
The words trembled from her lips. “I don’t know the right words. I don’t know if I can be all that… all that you’ve said I am.”
Her jaw clenched against the truth, but she needed to say it. To force it through her teeth if she must, claw it out of her ribcage and lay it bloodied and bare in the fraction of space left between them.
“I’m afraid.”
Ozirax smiled, something soft and kind, and the pain gripping her chest eased at the sight.
“I was, too. I stepped away because I worried… I don’t know if I’m worthy of you, Spicy, but I’m going to be here until you tell me to fuck all the way off.
And then probably after, because I don’t know if I can. ”
She snorted a laugh, or maybe it was half a sob. “You’re not allowed to say things like that when I’m naked and having an existential crisis. It’s weird.”
“If it helps, I was having one earlier while stuffing my face with bronzeberry scones under a table, and I’m pretty sure Lazerath saw me.”
“I don’t know who that is,” Kaly choked out between snorts.
“It’s not important, I just… I saw another demon’s hands on you, and I knew it would be the last time. I knew I had to stop being stupid and finally admit that I am completely obsessed with you.”
She shook her head, tucking his hair behind a horn.
“You are not stupid, Oz. I know I don’t make it easy, but…
Kat was right. I don’t know how to be happy, how to trust it.
I didn’t realize… that’s what I feel with you.
” She whispered the next words around the burning in her throat.
“I was so fucking miserable, I didn’t know this feeling inside me was happiness.
How awful of a person am I that I can’t understand basic joy?
No wonder my sister couldn’t stand me any longer. ”
“Spicy,” he rasped, pressing his forehead against hers. “Don’t say that.”
Her eyes closed, soaking in the warmth of his closeness. “I’m not good at this, Oz. But I want to be. For Kat. For… you. I want to learn what to do with this feeling.”
“I’m here, Kaly. Say the word.”
Ozirax’s lips teased hers, a whisper of a touch that reminded her just how close they were. Just how much of their skin was on display while they had this conversation.
Bare, just as she bared her soul for the first time.
“Please,” Kaly whispered.
She felt raw, exposed, yet the fear of that vulnerability was quiet for perhaps the first time in her life as Ozirax lowered himself atop her. As his hips settled between hers, and she realized how much she’d needed this moment.
Of all the things she’d run from in life, it had never occurred to her that she could be… happy. That she was allowed to feel it, run toward it, and it wasn’t selfish. It wasn’t an indulgence.