Chapter Twenty-Three
Twenty-Three
L iberty wasn’t entirely sure how things had changed so quickly in the span of a few minutes, but then that was the way her life had been going this year. Success beyond her wildest dreams with WiCKed Sisters after the Amber Rapp mention. Despair and grief as Nan’s condition worsened and required her to live in this very care home. Anger at finally learning the name of the one man who had summarily rejected her before she’d been more than an embryo.
And Merle...
She’d started to let herself fall for him. There was no pretending otherwise.
Over the last six weeks, as she’d readied her life for a change and Samhain, he’d been the only person she’d wanted by her side. Well, the only new person. She cherished having Sera and Poppy—her kindred spirits—with her as she tried to navigate everything that had been changing in her life.
But even with Poppy and Sera here with her, she wasn’t sure how to handle this change. They were at the hospital. Nan had fallen in the care home and broken her hip, and she was also confused, asking for her own mother.
Lourdes went to talk to the doctors. Sera sat next to Liberty, holding her hand. Poppy had gone to get them all some tea to drink.
“This hospital has some of the finest doctors,” Sera said.
Liberty appreciated that her friend hadn’t tried to give her any false reassurances. But right now she had no idea what to do. She had texted Merle that they were here, at a shared community hospital about thirty minutes from Birch Lake.
“Thanks.” She didn’t know what else to say to Sera. Liberty was mad, but not at her friend. Even as she tried to identify where it stemmed from, she knew that there wasn’t anything rational she could point to beyond the unfairness of the world.
She wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to get the image of Nan out of her head. The way she looked when they’d gotten to the care home. They’d managed to beat the ambulance there, so they saw her in such a fragile state.
It made her hands shake to think of Nan that way. Sera just tightened her fingers around Liberty’s.
“It’s okay to cry,” Sera said.
“I’d rather punch something,” Liberty admitted.
“That’s okay too. Do you want to go outside and kick a tree or something?”
Liberty almost smiled because Sera knew her so well. “I would never kick a tree, but maybe this building.”
“Go do it. She’s going to be in there for a while. I’ll stay here and come get you the minute she’s out of surgery,” Sera said. “You need to be outside and feel the wind around you. When Poppy gets back, do you want me to send her out?”
Sera was right. Sitting here in the hallway waiting for news wasn’t doing anything but letting her think of worst-case scenarios. “No, I think I need to be alone. Thank you.”
She hugged Sera, who hugged her back tightly and then kissed her cheek. “No problem.”
Liberty wandered through the maze of hallways that were all colored exactly the same empty white, following the exit signs until she was outside. It was late afternoon in the first weekend in November. The sky was cloudy and gray. The air was cold and the ground was hard under her feet. She crossed the parking lot to the small, wooded area that was just beyond it. The wind was biting, wintery, not her beloved autumn wind that held the crisp chill but still had a hint of summer.
She tipped her head back and let the breeze stir her hair as soon as she was in the trees. She let out a long scream, yelling her frustration and fear to the trees. The wind seemed to echo her feelings, whipping around her and making the branches of the trees stretch and sway. They were bare of leaves, and the branches made a rickety sound when they brushed against each other.
She continued a little farther into the woods, looking at the trees until she found one with a large trunk that felt right to her. She went and sat next to the trunk, pulled her legs up to her body and put her head down on her knees.
The tears she’d been afraid to let fall in the hospital started and she didn’t try to keep them in check. She just stayed where she was, letting out all the emotions that she never wanted anyone to see.
Nan wasn’t going to be the same after this. Life wasn’t going to be the same.
And as much as she’d welcomed the new year on Samhain in words and dancing, her mind and her heart hadn’t been ready for this. She wasn’t entirely sure she ever would have been, but this was too much.
Maybe that was why she’d let the search for John Jones stall. Why she’d pretty much decided not to contact the man that Merle had worked so hard to find. She hadn’t needed John Jones to make her life different. It had been changing already without him.
It was too late now. He could never mean anything to her. He was a stranger. A name for a man she’d never needed. She’d used that search as a wedge between her and her mom because she’d known Nan wouldn’t want to leave them while the two of them were fighting. But it didn’t work. The wheel of life kept turning.
Liberty was only now recognizing that Nan had no control over when she would leave them. Her indomitable spirit was at the mercy of her failing body.
This was something she couldn’t control. She hated it more than she would ever admit out loud. So she stayed underneath the tree until she had no tears left to shed.
Merle showed up as she was walking back into the hospital and everything inside of her relaxed. She felt safer with him by her side.
Two weeks later, Merle was still trying to figure out how to tell Liberty he loved her.
They’d been spending most nights at his place and she had continued bringing more of her little touches to his house. It was starting to feel more like their place than like his. Those empty rooms in his home were becoming full of Liberty.
She was gearing up for Thanksgiving and then the Winter Solstice. He’d mentioned John Jones a few more times but she’d told him to stop asking. She wasn’t ready. So he’d left the contact information on the nightstand she used at his place. He’d found the man for her, and if she wanted to get in touch, she could.
He finished a big project at work the night before and Poppy didn’t really need him in the tea shop today, but he came in anyway. He missed Liberty since she’d stayed at her place the last few nights.
Poppy could always use the help so she put him to work as soon as he showed up. Liberty was doing a tarot reading and Sera and her assistant, Greer, were busy taking custom orders for journals for Christmas and the winter holidays.
“I’m not much of a tea drinker. Do you have any coffee back there?”
Merle glanced up at the customer that Poppy was taking an order from. The dude was definitely familiar. He was older, with thinning reddish blond hair. It was longish, about as long as Merle’s, and curled at the back of his neck.
Where did he know him from?
“Cappuccino and a slice of the apple cake for the gentleman,” Poppy said.
“Doesn’t he look familiar?” Merle asked her as he went to the espresso machine and started to make the cappuccino. The WiCKed Sisters logo was printed on all the mugs and cups they used in the tea shop. He couldn’t help rubbing his thumb over the witch in the center for good luck.
“No. I mean, I guess he looks like most old dudes. Do you think he’s one of our moms’ cousins?” Poppy asked. “Mom mentioned that someone was coming to stay in the cabin. I went up yesterday to get it ready.”
“Nah, I don’t think so. If he was our cousin he would have told you.”
“Yeah, you’re right.”
Poppy turned back to the counter to take another order from someone who was taking their tea to go.
Merle continued studying the gentleman from the corner of his eye. The man wasn’t his family, that was for sure. Was he from college? He sort of looked like a professor.
As soon as the thought popped into his head, he did a double take. Merle glanced over to where Liberty was still on her dais doing her tarot reading and then back to the man.
Fuck. He tried to catch Poppy’s attention, but she was busy talking to Mrs. Jenkins who came in once a week to have her tea leaves read and to buy a special blend for her arthritis.
He needed to warm Liberty. Because unless he was wrong, that man was John Jones.
Liberty’s biological father that she’d decided not to pursue. The man whose contact details were lying on Merle’s nightstand.
Had she contacted him and just not told Merle? She had told him to butt out.
He glanced back over to Liberty. By the way she was gathering the cards, she was wrapping up the reading. He couldn’t be sure, but it seemed like she had no idea her father was in the store.
“Merle, take the coffee and cake over before the customer hexes us,” Poppy said.
“Sorry, cuz, just got distracted,” he said.
“No problem. He just looks...uncomfortable. Like he’s not sure he wants to stay.”
Merle guessed the man probably was. “Did Liberty say anything about contacting anyone?”
“Like who?”
“Like John Jones.”
“No. In fact I’m pretty sure she’s not going to. She said it was a distraction from Nan and she doesn’t need to know him. That was the last I heard of it.”
“Oh.”
“Oh? Merle, what does that mean?”
Now that he had confirmation that Liberty hadn’t invited him here, he needed to warn her. “That’s him. The guy over there is John Jones.”
“Fuck. Did you invite him here?”
“Do I look stupid?”
“Not really,” Poppy said. “Crap. Try to distract him and I’ll go talk to Liberty.”
“Sure.”
He took the cappuccino and the cake over to John and set the tray on the table harder than he meant to. Merle wasn’t really sure what to do about him. But he wanted to protect Liberty. Not that she needed his protection. She’d proven more than once that she was capable of taking care of herself, but this was going to throw her.
She wasn’t prepared to meet her biological father and he knew that being caught off guard was one thing she hated. Really hated.
“Hi there. What are you doing in Birch Lake?” Merle asked.
“I’m meeting an old friend,” he said. His voice was neutral and polite. And really didn’t invite further conversation.
But Poppy needed time to talk to Liberty. Merle stood so that he was blocking the other man’s view of where Liberty was seated.
“Thanks for bringing the coffee. I’m fine for now.”
He couldn’t linger any longer without making things awkward, so he turned to go back behind the counter. As he did so, he glanced again toward Liberty’s shop and saw the look on her face.
Anger, and a kind of rage he hadn’t seen from her before swirled around her. And as she came forward, he realized it was directed at him.
Poppy’s face told her something was up. She had no idea what was going on, but the last time Poppy looked so concerned it had been when she’d found out that Alistair saw their marriage as one of convenience and not a love match. Someone must have hurt Poppy, and badly. Liberty had been thinking about taking Merle into the back room and having him get naked on her meditation pillow after her shift, but now she was ready to defend her friend, by kicking someone’s ass if necessary.
“What’s up?”
“Uh, that old dude that Merle is serving is the jerk wad who told your mom to get an abortion,” Poppy said.
Liberty heard a ringing in her ears and the room spun slightly. She looked at the table as Merle moved away. It had never occurred to her that the expression on Poppy’s face had been for her. “Fucking hell. How is that bastard in our store?”
“I don’t know. Merle said—”
“He called him? I told him I wasn’t going to get in contact.”
“I don’t think—”
But Liberty didn’t hear anything else her friend was saying. Instead, she stormed over to the tea shop where Merle had finished making a drink for a customer. As soon as he put the tea down on the counter, she grabbed his wrist and dragged him toward the room behind Poppy’s shop and then straight out the back door.
Merle wasn’t resisting. He followed her. How was he going to defend this?
She hadn’t felt this mad and betrayed and hurt. But she wasn’t going to even let herself think about what being this hurt meant. Not now. Not yet.
“How could you?” she demanded as she spun around to face him. It was one of those gross November days that was cold and gray. It had been raining earlier, but since then it had turned to an early sleety snow.
“I didn’t.”
“Don’t lie. That’s never been something you’ve done before.”
“Yeah, that’s because I don’t lie. I didn’t contact him. You made it clear that you didn’t want to speak to him.”
Relief coursed through her. It would have been devastating to learn she’d been so wrong about him. She couldn’t have handled a betrayal like this from the man she loved.
“I did. So how’d he find me? And what’s he doing sitting in Poppy’s tea shop?”
Liberty heard the quiver in her voice, felt the rage turning into fear and shoved it way down. Not now. She didn’t have time to think or to process anything. She needed her guard up so she could defend herself. Against the man who didn’t want her.
“He said he was waiting for a friend,” Merle said. “I sent Poppy over to warn you. I didn’t want him to ambush you.”
“Okay,” she said, flustered.
“I’m hurt you’d think I’d go behind your back. I keep telling myself that you are starting to see the real me, that you are starting to accept me into your life, but I’m just kidding myself, aren’t I?”
“No.”
“Just no?”
“Yeah. Sorry I’m still wigging out about fucking John Jones being in the shop and I don’t know what to do,” she admitted. “I’m sorry. I know you wouldn’t have contacted him. I just reacted.”
“That’s what you do, isn’t it?”
“Yeah. I can’t... I don’t know what to say to him,” Liberty said. “But I do know what to say to you. I am truly sorry.”
“I know you are, witch. But you have to stop thinking I’m going to turn on you or leave you behind.”
“It’s not just you.”
“It seems like it is. You didn’t suspect Poppy or Sera of calling him, did you?”
“No, of course not. They love me.”
“They aren’t the only ones,” he said quietly, coming closer to her. “But you can’t see that. You won’t be able to until you sort out whatever you feel about your father.”
If Merle didn’t contact her father, then who did?
Liberty knew she was missing something. If she could just see past the feeling of betrayal—that wasn’t exactly what it was, but something like it—at the fact that her biological father was in Birch Lake. He wasn’t familiar. He’d never been here before. At least not in her lifetime.
But that didn’t matter. The breeze shifted, and the icy rain hit her face, and she realized that she wasn’t really thinking about whatever was going on in the shop. She was watching Merle leave, after she disappointed him, after he confessed his feelings for her.
“Wait. What should I do?” she asked him. She’d been unsure from the beginning. Unsure until that moment she’d walked into the Bootless Soldier and asked Merle to help her. He’d been by her side, quietly supporting her and teasing her, giving her a safe space to be herself and grow into a stronger woman.
He didn’t say anything, just stood there the way he had so many times in the past when she’d been flirting with him, trying to see if he liked her or not. She’d hurt him, and as she thought about how, she replayed their conversation.
They aren’t the only ones.
That’s what he’d said.
Someone else loved her.
“Merle?” she said as she walked, until the gap between them was barely an inch. Her heart was racing. For the first time she admitted to herself that she hadn’t gone to Merle about her father for any other reason than she’d always liked him and trusted him.
There wasn’t another man she wanted by her side and she knew that. She loved him. And he loved her too.
“Liberty.”
She spun around, surprised to see her mom standing in the doorway. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but Merle didn’t contact your dad. I did.”
“Why?”
“You wanted to get to know him, and he has wanted to meet you since you were seven,” Lourdes said. “It was time I stopped standing in the way. I already made that mistake once.”
“What?”
Liberty felt like she was spinning out of control. Then she felt Merle’s hand taking hers.