Chapter 23
Marina
I try to roll out of bed, and two arms tighten around my middle like steel bands, not budging an inch. I’m hauled back against a hard, warm, muscular body that smells like…home. Beachy sandalwood bonfires.
Zach.
I laugh softly, my heart feeling light and full of joy.
“It’s getting late,” I whine softly. “I’m hungry.”
I feel Zach’s body relax in resignation behind me. I said the magic word. The man will not let me go hungry. He’d go out and hunt pigs for me if the hotel ran out of bacon, which might actually happen if we stay here much longer. Zach requested plenty of it last night when he ordered breakfast to be delivered to the room by ten this morning. And it’s almost time for that magical room service cart to come rolling in.
His lips tease little kisses on the side of my neck and I tilt my head farther back, granting him all the access for all the kisses. Best way to wake up ever. Warm, comfy bed. Gorgeous Brit wrapped around me. Neck kisses. I’m here for all of it.
My stomach growls, and it sounds like a T-Rex is loose somewhere in the hotel. Zach laughs softly, his breath tickling my neck, and he lets me go. I instantly regret it.
“All right, beautiful,” he groans. “Let’s get up. We’ve much to do before the concert tonight.”
I roll out of bed and stretch. I don’t know how he does it. The Royal Rebels have two more concerts at the stadium this weekend before the whole show packs up and moves down to southern California for a series of shows down there, then on to a few more stops before it’s all over. It must be exhausting.
Zach lets out a low whistle behind me and I turn to find him eyeing me appreciatively.
“You really rock those mermaid pants, Siren,” he says with a wink. “I’m going upstairs to take my shower, and I’ll be right back down.”
I smile at him as he throws his t-shirt on and walks out of the bedroom. I turn on my heel and head to my bathroom to get ready, even though I’d love nothing more than to just lounge around in my jammies with Zach all day. He’s right: we have a lot to do. I have no idea what it is, though, because he won’t tell me yet. I imagine some of it is talking through how we’re going to manage our relationship going forward. And maybe he’ll finally tell me where he actually lives. I reach into the shower and turn it on, then grab some towels and strip while I wait for the water to warm up.
Last night, after the girls and I sang three encores with The Royal Rebels, he wouldn’t let me leave his side (not that I’m complaining one bit). So he had Dave take the girls home when it was time, while I was glued to his side backstage. Ashley packed a bag for me and gave it to Dave, who came back to the stadium to take the rest of us back to the hotel. Zach never altered the hotel arrangements, even though he was sleeping on the bus, so my suite was exactly as I left it .
That’s probably a good thing because I accidentally left behind three suits that were meant to go to the dry cleaners. Naturally, the housekeeping staff had them cleaned and left them hanging in the closet because the service here is insanely awesome. I move quickly in the shower, eager to get on with my day and, of course, to be back in Zach’s arms. That’s something to celebrate because I can’t remember the last time I was actually excited about my day. Another realization brought on by doing all the brave things. I was so used to keeping my nose to the grindstone that I never allowed myself time to look up.
It’s funny how completely at peace I felt the moment I decided to walk away from the things that are no longer serving me (mainly my horrible job) and chose the people who choose me every day. I thought I’d feel some level of angst or guilt about quitting my job, but I’m just happy. I feel free. And I have a whole new level of gratitude for the people who love me.
I dry off and change into the yoga pants and oversized sweater Ash threw in the bag for me. What can I say? The girl knows me. I brush out my damp hair and pull it up on my head with a clip for now. I’ll fuss over it later.
A brief knock at the door has me running for it because it’s either Zach or bacon, and I want to devour both. I hold the door open for the porter with the magical cart full of all things breakfast. He nods at me as he pushes the cart into the little dining area. He checks to see if I need anything else and then leaves quickly. A few moments later, another knock. That’s the one I want most.
I open the door, and Zach steps through it, right into my space, wrapping me in his arms. I wrap mine around his neck and breathe him in, fresh from the shower and smelling of sea salt and sandalwood. I line his jaw with soft kisses and feel victorious when he tilts his head back to give me all the room I need. My stomach growls again, and I squeal as he picks me up in his arms and carries me into the dining room.
“Eat, woman!” he growls with a hearty laugh.
He sets me down in my usual spot, then grabs two plates and starts dishing up for both of us. Of course, mine is piled with way too much bacon, but I see he’s also observed that I like grapefruit with a little sugar on it, and when he adds that, I feel another ping of gratitude. Lucky, lucky me. How did I ever want to run from a person who makes me feel like the most treasured woman in the world?
We eat in silence for a few minutes before he pauses and tilts his head at me.
“Do you eat that much bacon every day, Siren?”
I nearly choke on a bacon strip, but I recover and finish chewing the piece in my mouth before answering.
“I’m afraid I gave you the wrong impression with my bacon love fest the other day,” I say lightly. “I don’t eat bacon every day, and when I do, it’s usually four pieces at most. Sometimes I just…want more bacon.”
His expression lights up when I mention my bacon love fest, but he doesn’t reply. I pull my legs in so I’m sitting criss cross in the chair and dig into my grapefruit.
“So what are we doing today?” I ask. “You still haven’t told me.”
There’s a delightful glint in his eyes and he holds a finger up, then bolts out of the dining room. He reappears in a few seconds, holding a manila envelope in his hand. He holds it up with a little flourish and sets it down next to his plate, then digs back into his breakfast without a word.
I raise a brow. “What’s that?”
He feigns ignorance and looks around. “What?”
I smirk and point at the envelope. “That.”
He points to it as well. “This?”
I wiggle in my seat. “Zach! ”
My reward is a throaty, full laugh as he throws his head back. He composes himself and then levels his gaze at me. The pure love in his eyes reaches into my heart and squeezes out a few extra beats. Suddenly, I want to crawl into his lap and set up camp.
“It’s a present,” he says simply, passing the envelope to me.
I hold his gaze as I take it, then finally look down to see it’s in an envelope from a lawyer with an office in San Francisco. I slip my thumb under the flap and gently tear it open. There’s a legal document inside, and my eyes dart over the words on the paper carefully. I shake my head slowly, still reading.
“I don’t understand…”
I look up to find Zach smiling softly at me. “Which part?”
“What’s the Mermaid Foundation?” I ask breathlessly. I think I know what this is, but…it can’t be.
He grins and sits back in his chair. “It’s a charitable foundation.”
Slowly, I lower the document to my lap. “What kind of charity?”
He shrugs. “That’s up to you, Siren.”
I raise my eyebrows. “I’m sorry?”
He nods. “That’s your call. It’s your charity.”
My jaw goes completely slack. “What?”
He chuckles under his breath and puts down his fork.
“Do you remember the night I showed up at the library?” he asks.
I nod.
“In the car, I asked you about little Brandon’s situation,” he explains. “And you told me how his Aunt Grace is struggling.”
I nod again, feeling a little silver lining my eyes.
“I just really felt for her,” he says. “She’s his only remaining family. She could have said no and let him go to foster care. She obviously didn’t, which is likely because she loved her brother and loves her nephew. Should she have to struggle the rest of her life because she’s doing something selfless and brave? ”
“No?” I squeak around the sizeable lump that’s formed in my throat.
He shrugs again. “That’s up to you. It’s your charity. If you want it.”
“If I want it?”
He nods. “Sometimes I give terrible gifts,” he says with a grin. “You should probably know this about me from the start, Siren. I may hit the mark with a book or a bag of red licorice, but someday I’ll show up with something you may want to throw in the bin.”
I look down at the papers again, flipping through all the legal verbiage. I can’t believe he did this for me. I look at the date of his signature. This was done weeks ago. Right after the library. My eyes dart down when I see a dollar amount and I freeze.
“A million dollars?” I gasp. “You funded it with a million dollars?”
“Well, there’s a lot required in running a charity,” he explains. His eyes dart nervously around my face. “I wasn’t sure if you’d be interested in running it full time yourself, and your law school aspirations would make that impossible. So there are salaries to consider before you begin fundraising efforts. You may wish to hire a consultant to help you set things up. You’ll need staff to help you. Whatever you decide to do with it, you have the funds to get it off to a good start.”
I close my eyes and shake my head. This is one of those life moments where the path I’ve been on for years dries up and narrows, while a wider, more beautiful stretch of road appears before me and I want to change directions. It’s a little humbling to realize that everything I thought I wanted isn’t really what I want at all. I want more.
I open my eyes to find Zach watching me with a guarded expression. I feel a little guilty when I realize he’s not sure whether I like his present or I’m upset about something.
“You don’t give terrible gifts,” I say quietly, breaking off a piece of bacon and putting it in my mouth.
His eyes light up. “No? ”
I shake my head. “No. This is the most amazing gift anyone has ever given me.”
Instant relief floods Zach’s face. I laugh softly and stand up, making my way over to him and sitting in his lap. I feel his strong arms wrap around my waist as I put my hands on either side of his face and tilt his face up to look into my tear-filled eyes.
“Thank you,” I whisper, slowly lowering my mouth to his and brushing a light kiss on his lips. I press kisses to the corners of his mouth. His lips are soft, warm, and one thousand percent intoxicating as his familiar scent envelops me. His arms wrap tighter around me, pulling me close against his muscular, warm body, and a low growl escapes his throat.
I pull away and press our foreheads together.
“I’m never going to find a gift I can give you to equal anything you’ve given me, am I?”
He smiles softly and rubs our noses together.
“I already have everything I want, Siren,” he rasps, his deep brown eyes burning into mine. “I have you. You’re all I need.”
I kiss him again, soft and slow and full of promise. We give and take equally, exploring each other’s mouths without hurry.
This is fine for today. We don’t really need to do anything else, do we? I’m good just staying here and kissing this amazing man for the rest of my day. Eventually, our lips break apart and Zach leans over to slide my plate next to his.
“Eat, beautiful,” he says, planting a soft kiss on my cheek.
I reach for another piece of bacon from my perch on his lap, realizing this two chairs kind of thing is way overrated. Breakfast on Zach’s lap is infinitely better on multiple levels. I take a bite of bacon and offer a piece to him, laughing out loud at the face he makes.
“That’s not bacon,” he says with a grimace.
“Um, you’re on this side of the pond, my friend,” I remind him playfully. “This is bacon.”
He shudders and loads his fork with eggs and sausage.
“Just you wait until I take you to England, love,” he says softly. “You’ll have proper bacon there.”
I shake my head and take another bite, emphasizing my point by making yummy sounds as he rolls his eyes.
We finish breakfast with me on his lap, then move to the couch to plan the rest of our day. Zach lounges on one end and I wedge myself into his side as he wraps an arm around me. Perfection.
“What time do you have to be at the stadium?” I ask as I rest my head against his shoulder.
“The guys and I agreed on 5 pm,” he says quietly. “So we have all day. I thought we could brainstorm a little on the Mermaid Foundation if you wanted, and then I was wondering if I could talk you into Nonno’s for lunch?”
A huge grin lights up my face as I turn to look at him. He laughs.
“I really want some breadsticks.”
I plant a loud kiss on his cheek and snuggle back in. “That sounds perfect.”
I pull away and stand up, then pad into my room to grab my phone. I come back and lean into Zach again, then open a text to Merry.
Marina: Is a table for two at noon possible?
I put my phone on the coffee table in front of us, then lean against Zach and sigh happily.
“So tonight,” Zach hedges, catching my interest.
I look up at him with a curious expression.
“Would you like to sing with us?” he asks hesitantly. “You were so amazing last night, beautiful. I want you to have the opportunity if you want to, but it’s completely fine if you’d rather not. Your choice, love.”
I think for a moment, checking in with my gut instinct. What do I really want to do here? No longer tethered by a mortal fear of bringing too much attention to Ms. Taft and her ridiculous world, I feel like I have endless possibilities ahead of me. And I do love to sing with this man right here next to me.
“How about one song?” I say softly, feeling pretty confident about that.
He raises his eyebrows and gives me a gorgeous smile.
“Yeah? Which one?”
I purse my lips in thought. “Well, that’s a harder question. I’ll let you figure it out.”
“Nothing to figure it out if it’s up to me.” Oh, the confidence.
“Oh? What are we singing then?”
He palms the side of my face with his free hand, moving me slightly so our faces are inches apart.
“You Are My Heart,” he answers, placing a light kiss on my nose between each word.
And I’m done. Or undone. I can’t decide which. Both, probably. He is the most wonderful man in the entire world and I feel so lucky that I went against all my better judgment and sang on the bridge that day.
“Done deal,” I say contentedly.
We sit in silence for a few minutes, happy in each other’s company.
“Shall we talk about what happens on Monday?” Zach ventures quietly.
I sit up slightly so I can look at him. “When you and the guys leave town to finish the tour?”
He nods.
“Yes, let’s. What’s that look like?”
He works the muscle in his jaw for a bit, looking thoughtful.
“Well, I was thinking you might want to come to one of our San Diego shows,” he begins. “You could bring Max.”
“I’m in!” A chance to see my brother and hangout with my boyfriend? Yes, please.
“We also have Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Phoenix and Dallas,” he explains. “So you can come to any shows you want and fly back here when you need to. I have a personal assistant who makes all my travel arrangements, so she’ll handle yours as well. Once we leave on Monday, I won’t be able to come back to San Francisco until the tour is completely over.”
I nod solemnly. “And when it’s over?”
He tightens his arm around my shoulders. “Right here back to you, beautiful.”
I narrow my gaze at him. “Are you ever going to tell me where you actually live?”
He laughs softly. “Is it killing you?”
I smirk. “Slowly.”
“Very well,” he says. “When I was a boy, I loved Halloween so much. And my favorite story was written by an American named Washington Irving.”
I gasp. “Sleepy Hollow? I love that story!”
He grins from ear to ear. “Ichabod Crane and the headless horseman.”
“So, wait…you actually live in Sleepy Hollow, New York?”
He nods. “I bought an estate there after we ended our third tour.”
I try to imagine how our relationship is going to work if we’re flying across country to see each other. I know Zach never has to worry about money ever again, but it still sounds insanely expensive.
“I can see you overthinking,” he says gently, nudging me.
“How will this work?” I ask bluntly. “You’ll be on the other side of the country when you’re at home.”
He scoffs. There’s a warmth in his eyes that sets my heart pounding.
“When the tour is over, I fully intend on shopping for a second home here,” he says casually, as if he’s just said he’s looking for a piece of furniture. A mischievous glint flashes in his eyes. “I’ll be here most of the time, but I hope you’ll also come and stay with me on my estate.”
Now he’s just being obnoxious. I make a face.
“An estate, huh?” I say with a smirk. “You can take the almost-duke out of the UK, but—”
He reaches down and tickles me, making it completely impossible to do anything but squeal at the top of my lungs. I’m about to retaliate when my phone begins vibrating so hard on the table it actually starts moving. Zach releases me and I grab my phone and unlock it. Merry has replied, but in our group chat.
Merry: Hi, New Marina! You can have a table if you want it…but your girls would like to have lunch with you instead. My cousin’s working at Nonno’s today. Unhand that man and go out with us.
Scarlet: Is that what we’re calling our fearless friend now? I vote for Marina 2.0
Ashley: It’s the same Marina, just…braver.
Scarlet: Lame.
Ashley: Marina, can you unattach yourself from the handsome rock star long enough to have lunch with your girls? We have so many questions.
I am stupid-grinning at my phone right now, I can feel it. More gratitude flows over me as I realize how lucky I am to have these amazing women in my inner circle. Zach eyes me expectantly and I hold my phone up so he can read.
“The girls,” I explain.
He smirks. “They want the details.”
I nod. “Totally.”
He tilts his head. “If you’d rather go spend time with them, darling Siren, you’re not going to hurt my feelings.”
I feel torn now, but I expect that’ll be a side effect of this new path I’m forging for myself—at least for a while. It’ll take some time before this feels real. Normal.
“I think I’ll kiss you until eleven and then go have lunch with the girls,” I say, inching my mouth closer to his.
His eyes drop to my lips and a slow, sexy smile spreads on his gorgeous mouth.
“Is that so?”
I nod, then nip at his lower lip. He steals a quick, soft kiss. I sigh against his mouth, then pull back and smile devilishly.
“Talk British to me.”
I’m rewarded with a throaty laugh.
“Gladly,” he growls. “I agree to this plan of kissing all morning. As long as we can go to Nonno’s tomorrow. Can we meet back here at 4 pm and go to the stadium together?”
I nod, scooting closer. He leans over and scoops me up, sliding me into his lap as I burst out laughing and throw my arms around his neck.
“Good,” he says, rubbing our noses together. “Because you’re mine after that. Concert, sing together, straight back here, curl up with you in my arms.”
“Perfect,” I purr softly as I surrender my mouth to his kiss.
***
“Well, this better work out because he has ruined you for all other men,” Ashley laughs out loud.
The city is busy and full of life on this perfect afternoon, and we’re enjoying it all from our table on the patio at Baja Burrito on Bay Street. I take a sip of my watermelon margarita and revel at the contented feeling in my heart.
Merry shakes her head incredulously. “The Mermaid Foundation. Think of all the good you’ll do for people! I love him so much.”
Scarlet raises her eyebrows.
“Platonically, of course!” Merry adds with a wave.
“Have you had any ideas about what you want to do with it?” Scarlet asks as she dips a tortilla chip in the salsa at the center of our table.
I nod. “Tons. And that’s what I wanted to talk about. Can you guys help me think this through?”
Merry smacks the table. “We’re here for it!”
I take a deep, steadying breath and smooth my palms down the top of my thighs.
“I just want to make sure my idea doesn’t sound too crazy,” I say hesitantly.
They all nod. Eager faces await my next words.
In my heart, I know this is right. I know this is what I’m meant to do. An inkling of it hit me when Ashley tried to talk some sense into me during my meltdown about the duchess thing. Then a crack formed in my previous plans when I realized the people at Taft & Kennedy were not actually my people, and that was not the best path. When Zach gave me The Mermaid Foundation, he also gave me a better purpose.
“I’m thinking that this,” I hold up the Mermaid Foundation legal documents I brought with me. “Is a better job than what I had at Taft. With the money Zach gave the foundation, I can take a modest salary and hire a small team to help me with outreach and fundraising. This is a huge chance to keep families together that might otherwise be broken apart. And it can also support kids in foster care by providing funds for programs they need.”
I’m met with three expressions so full of love and approval I feel like I could burst into tears. It inspires me to press on.
“Zach was inspired by Brandon’s story, and how his aunt has made a home for him but is struggling financially,” I continue. “Not to mention her aspirations before she adopted him. Did she have a career in mind? Is she able to pursue it now because she’s suddenly working to feed and clothe two? Not to mention school costs, day care, and everything else. Social services wants them fed, housed and employed. Nothing else matters because there are so many other cases. The Mermaid Foundation could provide the extra help family members need so they can confidently step up and say yes to adopting family members who would otherwise go into foster care.”
I finally stop babbling long enough to let my friends speak. Ashley shakes her head, her eyes lined with silver.
“Well, well, well,” she says breathlessly. “Look at you. I’m so proud of you, Marina.”
I bite my lower lip and fight back tears.
“You started it,” I choke out, wiping a stray tear. “When you gave me that speech about there being more than one way to advocate for kids. And then this past week at Taft was so horrible. I kept pushing harder and harder. It took me breaking up with Zach to realize how stupid I was being. I was fighting so hard for the approval of people who were never going to get me.”
“And never could have deserved you,” Merry chimes in.
“So goodbye, law school,” Scarlet says, raising her margarita glass. “And hello, philanthropy!”
We all clink our glasses together.
“I wasn’t sure if I was being realistic,” I share. “I thought maybe it was crazy to give up law school, even though my feelings about it have changed. And I knew you guys would be concerned if I was on the wrong track. I just want to be sure I’m looking at this with a level head.”
Scarlet scoffs. “Girl, we’ll always tell you if we think you’re acting crazy. But in this case, I am totally on board. I was starting to worry that you were working yourself to death for the wrong people. ”
I tilt my head with a wary expression. “I may be about to work myself to death for the right people, though,” I joke. “There’s a ton of work to do.”
Ashley beams at me. “And no one better to do it.”
Merry holds a salsa loaded chip in the air. “Here, here!”
“And what about the rest of it?” Scarlet asks as our waiter brings our orders.
We stay silent as he sets everything in place, and we mutter our thanks when he’s done. I watch him leave, making sure he’s out of ear shot before speaking.
“The rest of it?” I ask her.
She picks up her fork and nods.
“The singing stuff,” she says. “Are you joining The Royal Rebels or going solo or…what?”
I nearly drop the street taco I’m holding.
“No to all those things,” I gasp. “Yikes.”
Ash puts up a pouty lip. “But you and Zach are so freaking awesome on stage together! How can you not want to sing with him again?”
I chew on the bite that’s in my mouth and consider how to phrase my reply.
“I wanted to be famous when I was a kid,” I explain with a smirk. “This whole experience has made me realize what living with fame is like. And that’s only in a small way. I’m not ready to jump straight into all of that, and I still need some kind of normalcy. I can’t deny that I love performing, especially with Zach, but I’m content to let him be the only rock star.”
We enjoy our lunches in relative silence for a few minutes. There’s the normal grabbing little bites from each other’s plates so we can try all the things, but that’s standard protocol in the inner circle. Allowing the sneaking of samples off our plates is our love language.
“Are you singing with him tonight?” Merry asks .
I nod. “Absolutely. I let him choose one song.”
Merry shoots me a knowing look. “He picked ‘You Are My Heart’, didn’t he?”
I laugh softly, little chills running up and down my arms. “He did.”
A delighted groan from Ashley. “You guys are so cute!”
I swallow the bite in my mouth and beam at my friends.
“I’ll never stop singing,” I say happily. “I love the idea of getting on stage with him and the guys once in a while, I just don’t want it to be my job. And it doesn’t matter if it’s on stage, in a car, or at home…if Zach asks me to sing with him, the answer will always be yes.”
Merry wiggles in her seat and squeals. Enough talking about me, though. I’m good. I’m really good.
“Scarlet,” I say, giving her a playful nudge. “How’s the interior decorating thing going? That’s coming up, isn’t it?”
She nods and waves her hand. “Girl, I’ve got this! Decorators Showcase is about to meet the best thing that ever happened to them.”
“Yeah they are!” Merry croons from her seat as she takes another sip of her margarita.
As Scarlet fills us in on her genius plan to win San Francisco’s biggest home decor challenge, I sit back in my seat and listen with gratitude. I’m so grateful for my friends and my life in this city I love. And I am especially grateful for that ridiculous mermaid tail.
***
The Royal Rebels bring another of their hits to a close as Zach jumps off the top of the piano and lands on the stage with such flourish it has 80,000 people standing and screaming their heads off. Their performance has been amazing tonight. Sam gets quite a workout on the drums, and Jimmy never holds still. Rick is almost as mobile as Zach when it comes to running around on the stage. They all love their fans and it shows.
Zach’s been giving me secret looks all night, and it sets my heart pounding every time. While he’s made sure to move around the stage and engage with his audience at every angle, he’s also taken quite a few opportunities to sing directly to me. There have been a few moments that have made me want to bust through the security team guarding the stage and kiss him for the rest of the concert, but I’ve resisted thus far.
I feel a slow smile spread across my face as he walks up the catwalk towards me. Our eyes meet and it’s like we’re the only two people in the whole stadium. Keeping my eyes locked on his, I step forward and the security detail in my section opens the barrier for me. Zach leans down to offer a hand and I slip my fingers into his. Immediately, my racing heart steadies as he gives my hand a reassuring squeeze. Applause and cheers erupt from the stadium as soon as they see me stepping up onto the stage with him. I wonder if I’ll ever get used to it.
I finally break my gaze from Zach’s and look out into the crowd with a huge smile, waving in every direction. His fans are going absolutely wild. I look behind us and wave to the guys. They all wave back, and I see Rick is seating himself at the piano as he gets ready to accompany us. In the audience to my right, Ashley, Merry and Scarlet are cheering as well.
I look out at the crowd and wave again, flashing them a huge smile when I’m rewarded with thunderous applause. Zach moves his lips close to my ear.
“You’re not as nervous as the first time,” he notes, leaving a trail of tingles where his lips touch my skin. “You’re getting them all excited. Well done, you.”
I shrug and wrap my hand around the back of his neck, pulling him towards me. I put my mouth against his ear .
“Well, I am a mermaid, after all,” I say with no small amount of sass. “And mermaids make waves.”
We share a secret smile as we pull apart and he brings the mic into position between us. We face each other, lacing the fingers of both our hands together, and let our voices make magic once more.