Chapter 19 Nina
NINA
It was stupid to be nervous. These women were warm and genuine, and they seemed like they truly wanted to help me feel comfortable during my first visit to the family estate.
So why was I second-guessing every word out of my mouth?
Why was I avoiding the snacks spread out on the long teak table?
At least Noah was our primary focus, splashing around in the jaw-droppingly beautiful pool.
Between the landscaping surrounding it and the tall slide built into the rocks, it looked like something out of one of the Ashford resorts.
“Noah, you’re a great swimmer. So brave,” Candace said as she watched him paddle by. She’d been in the water with him the whole time, but now she was perched at the edge of the pool so she could gossip with us too. “Maybe it’s time to get serious and hire a swim coach?”
She glanced over her shoulder at me. Right. His life was my jurisdiction, at least for now.
“Good idea. I’ll look into the YMCA for classes.”
Gwen shook her head. “Maybe hiring a private coach would be better? I’m pretty sure Harrison has some former Olympian contacts, through his charters. Maybe start there?”
I gulped. A private Olympic swim coach? I needed to keep reminding myself that this was a different world. One the women surrounding me seemed to fit right into.
Candace, obviously. She was the epitome of elegance and class, even damp from the swim. Somehow, her gorgeous white hair looked just as good air dried as it did when she met me at the door with a perfect blowout. Logan hadn’t told me much about her background, but I was dying to get the full story.
And Gwen? She was influencer-flawless, and baby Sophia cooing in her lap completed the picture of domestic perfection. Logan had told me that before she’d taken time away to be a full-time mom, she’d been a PR ace.
Emilia had mentioned something about a pet tortoise, which seemed a little left field, but then again, maybe she was the family eccentric, and they played along with her bohemian lifestyle choices.
That left me in my Walmart leggings and matching T-shirt. The nomad who didn’t know what a real home felt like.
“Hey, Nina, are you okay?” Gwen called out to me. “I know this family can be a lot. I’ve been exactly where you are.”
I’d clearly let my worries get the best of me. The three women turned to study my face. I could feel my frown, which I quickly shifted into what I hoped looked like acceptable cheer.
“Me?” I squeaked out. “I’m good. Just…overwhelmed, I guess? I’m not used to,” I gestured to the grounds, “this.”
Emilia let out a laugh. “I get it. Took me a while to feel like I belonged.”
“Yeah, same,” Gwen agreed. “And I was the first ‘trespasser’ into this family. Let me tell you, Ashford men are a unique breed. At first, it was this weird combination of them sort of hating each other while at the same time being desperate for each other’s approval.
And the way they bury their true emotions!
I had to fight to tear down Harrison’s walls.
They’ve turned a corner as a family, I think.
But still…they’re built different from most people. ”
“You can say that again,” Candace chuckled.
I picked up on some melancholy in her tone.
“Yeah, the guys were hard on you,” Gwen agreed. “And unfair. Harrison and I have talked about it quite a bit, and he regrets that he wasn’t more welcoming to you.”
Candace got up and grabbed her sky-blue caftan. “I understood it. They adored their mother, and they couldn’t stand the thought of their father with someone else, so they shut me out. It wasn’t easy for me to navigate, but I think we’re all in a better place now.”
She slipped on the caftan then leaned over to take Sophia from Gwen. So natural and comfortable together, like they were blood family.
I felt a twinge. Maybe it was best for me to remain on the fringes, since this lifestyle wasn’t going to be my reality for very long?
“What’s your family drama?” Emilia asked me. “We’ve all got it. Let’s trauma bond.”
I laughed at her on-the-nose take. Yeah, I had my fair share.
“Well, I don’t have siblings,” I began. “My friend Tasha is like a sister, though. My dad isn’t even worth mentioning.
I can’t tell you how long it’s been since I’ve seen him.
And my mom? If I had to sum her up in a word, it would be ‘nomad.’ She follows the work, so she ditched paying rent and now travels around the country in her RV.
She used to joke that our home was under an open sky, which was fine when I was a kid. But as I got older, I just wanted…”
“Permanence,” Gwen finished for me. “I get it. My dad had some struggles with addiction. It was precarious for a long time, and all I wanted was stability.”
I hoped my shock wasn’t obvious. Gwen was so put together that I’d assumed life had always been smooth for her.
For a few minutes, the only sounds were the baby’s coos and Noah splashing in the water.
“What matters is where we are now,” Candace said. She lowered her voice and leaned in closer. “We’re all finding our way through these big life changes. And Nina, I can see for myself how you’re having a positive influence on Noah and his father.”
“Agreed,” Emilia said. “It’s so obvious. Noah seems much happier and more stable. And Logan?” She shook her head, smiling. “Night and day. You’re good for them. They need you.”
Gwen nodded along. “I’m liking this new version of Logan. He seems lighter, and I’m giving you all the credit.”
It was a sweet sentiment. And it made sense, because it was what I did—make life easier for the people around me. On the job, with my friends, and obviously with past boyfriends. My lot in life was to be the fixer. The person who swooped in and smoothed out life’s rough edges.
I made it work. But sometimes I wished I could be on the receiving end of someone else’s care and attention for a change.
“Nina!” Noah shouted. “Watch me!”
He backed up then ran and jumped into the pool, executing what had to be a painful belly flop.
“Oof,” Emilia flinched. “That’s gonna leave a mark.”
“You okay?” I called out to him when he resurfaced.
I braced for a breakdown, but Noah came up sputtering and unbothered.
He was a different child than the one I’d gotten to know at the beginning of the cruise.
The one who hovered in the background, avoided eye contact, and was afraid of the ocean.
This version of Noah seemed fearless. It was like I was meeting a brand-new boy, but based on the way the rest of the ladies were treating him, it was probably his level-set.
I hoped it meant that he was starting to heal from the loss of his mother. There was a void in his heart that would always remain, but at least he was finding his way back to himself.
And according to this crew, it was partly thanks to me. No pressure or anything.
“Candace, what’s happening with the house going on the market?” Gwen asked. “Harrison said he can’t get a straight answer from Oliver. Can you give us some clarity?”
She adjusted little Sophia on her lap and leaned back against the chaise longue with a sigh.
“I wish I could. Oliver understands that selling the house is the right decision, but there’s some sort of block inside of him.
It’s the memories, I think. Selling it is like acknowledging that Alicia is truly gone.
I think he’s comforted by the reminders of her around the place. Moving will take that away from him.”
“From all of the guys,” Emilia mused. “This home is full of Alicia’s aura. I wish I’d met her. She sounds like an incredible woman. Big-time animal lover.”
“And generous philanthropist,” Candace agreed. “For the longest time, she didn’t even publicize her contributions. And it wasn’t just financial. She got her hands dirty and helped.”
It impressed me to see that Candace wasn’t threatened by Oliver’s late wife. A less confident woman might force the issue and try to speed up the moving process, but Candace seemed content to let Oliver process what the move meant to him and his sons at his own pace.
“I’m going to miss this place,” Gwen said, glancing at the paradise surrounding us. “I pictured Sophia spending time here as she grew up. At least Noah will remember the magic of it.”
We all looked at the little fish in the pool, who was currently trying to do handstands in the shallow end.
Sophia fussed, so Candace handed her back to her mother and the baby settled immediately.
I had to keep reminding myself that this idyllic scenario had an expiration date for me.
Sure, I’d remain in Logan and Noah’s life, but as an employee.
I still wasn’t sure how that shift was going to manifest.
“So, Nina,” Emilia began, a devilish look on her face. “Can we gossip for a second? Because Drew gave me the guy version of what happened between you and Logan during the cruise, but obviously he left all of the good parts out. Can you fill in the details?”
I felt the collective weight of their curious stares. Even little Sophia glanced my way, eager for the details of how I ended up her temporary aunt.
“Uh…” My cheeks went hot as visions of my naked boss filled my head. Not a complete picture, of course. Just flickers of scorching memories. “Can we blame it on the alcohol?”
“Well, I happen to think that alcohol only gives us an excuse to act on our hidden urges.” Candace winked at me.
“Exactly,” Emilia said quickly. “So I’m guessing there was this undeniable attraction between you two, and the drinks were an excuse to go for it. What was the ceremony like? I’m picturing Elvis as your officiant.”
“It was Nésion, not Vegas,” Gwen reminded her.
I shrugged helplessly. “Wish I could remember.”
“You can’t remember it at all? You were blackout drunk?” Gwen couldn’t hide her shock.
“No,” I said quickly. “Not exactly. They probably wouldn’t have let us go through with the ceremony if I seemed that out of it. And don’t forget, a wedding needs a bride and a groom. A certain Mr. Ashford was also feeling the effects of the Ouaca.”
Candace shook her head. “I can’t believe that the unflappable Logan Ashford cut loose like that. It’s so unlike him.” She hummed softly, considering something. “But from what I’ve seen, the man needs to have some fun. He’s been through more than his fair share of tough times.”
Gwen craned her neck to look at my hand. “When is he going to get you a proper engagement ring? If you guys want to sell this relationship, you need a rock on that finger.”
“Yeah, we need to take care of that at some point,” I agreed, gazing at the gold band. “But I sort of like the simplicity of this ring. I’m not used to wearing much jewelry.”
“I’m sure when the time comes it’ll be ridiculously big,” Emilia laughed. She raised an eyebrow. “And speaking of big, any memories of that part of the night?”
“Emilia,” Candace fake scolded, laughing.
“What? Two hot, drunk people on their accidental wedding night in a comped suite basically guarantees frisky business.”
“Ladies, I’m sorry to tell you that I can’t remember much of that either.”
Other than the three orgasms I had. And the way his voice sounded when he whispered in my ear. The snippets were enough to fuel my fantasies.
“Maybe you should go for a re-do,” Emilia suggested.
I sputtered, trying to come up with an appropriate response, until Noah came stomping over to where we were sitting, dripping wet.
“I’m c-c-cold,” he said. “Towel, please?”
“Noah, your lips are blue! Get over here,” I said as I grabbed a thick towel. I wrapped him in it, and he snuggled against me.
“This is normal for him,” Gwen said. “Give him five minutes, and he’ll be back in the water.”
Normal. Ha. What I was experiencing was anything but. The supportive women in the beautiful setting. The drowsy little boy in my lap.
And the handsome man striding across the lawn toward us, looking like my very own Mr. Darcy.