13. Chapter ThirteenMelina
Chapter Thirteen
Melina
I understood him so much better now, and it broke my heart. I could hear the pain in his voice when he told me what happened. He’d been brave going against his superiors. He’d been brave, taking full ownership of what had occurred so that Ivan would face a lesser punishment. What he’d been through had to be horrifying. It had cracked his spirit, and he shut down his heart. His desires. I meant it when I said he was good. He tried to save my kind, which made me like him even more. There had been nothing about him, even after what he told me, that changed my mind.
Of course, it made things even more difficult for me because now, I knew he wasn’t just in this marriage to help his people gain power but to atone for what he believed was a failure. Perhaps he was only being so kind to me out of a sense of responsibility to get some sort of forgiveness through me. In his mind, loving and accepting love from me wouldn’t be a punishment. It wouldn’t be him doing something for the benefit of other Prinathians. He’d be getting something out of it.
This wouldn’t do. “Are you only being kind to me to make up for what happened with those prisoners?”
Aaron’s muscles tensed beneath my hands. “What? Rabbit, that’s no- ”
The doorbell rang, interrupting him. I didn’t get unexpected visitors. Especially not randomly in the morning. “Who could that be? ”
Aaron shifted behind me, getting to his feet. “I don’t know. I’ll get rid of them,” he replied, agitation in his voice.
He got out of the water, and I couldn’t help but gaze at that beautifully sculpted body dripping with water. My core clenched, and I momentarily forgot the negative thoughts playing in my head.
He wrapped a cloth around his waist, and I moved to get up. He pointed at me, an intensity to his face I wasn’t used to seeing. “Don’t move.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but he stopped me. “Don’t you fucking move, omega.”
I froze and shifted back down in the tub. He didn’t use his alpha voice, but his tone had the same effect. It made me want to obey. His seriousness, the demanding voice, brought a flutter in my abdomen that traveled lower. I settled back in the tub and watched as he left to answer the door.
I waited, not wanting to replay any more thoughts. It was just making me more confused. Less than ten minutes later, he returned, a solemn look on his face.
“Who was it?”
He dropped the towel and got back in the bath, this time facing me. He grabbed me gently by the sides of my face, eyes intensely searching mine. “First, I need you to know that I’m not here with you because of any charity or penance. You may not believe me right now, but it’s the truth. I care about you, Rabbit. And I do want to give you the world. And not because I think I owe you anything. Are you hearing me?”
I nodded, feeling a weight lift off me from his declaration. Perhaps this really could be something.
He brought his lips to my forehead. “Thank you. Secondly, there is someone from the royal court in a transporter outside, sent to take us to see someone from leadership. I don’t know why. He wouldn’t say. Maybe it has to do with the fight I was in.”
It seemed I wouldn’t have the time to dig deeper into how we would move forward. I frowned. What could the royal court possibly want? I didn’t like being on their radar. “Do you think you’ll get punished? That maybe they’ll break us up because of it?” I didn’t like the feel of that. I wanted it before, but now, I wasn’t so sure, and my body was displeased. It could have been because I had just spent the night having the best sex ever, followed by an intimate moment with him in the tub. Now, I was…feeling things. It would take hold of me and grow roots. Meanwhile, I was still not certain that Aaron would allow himself to receive any real feelings from me.
Aaron leaned forward and kissed me. “I hope they don’t.”
Damn, my heart tugged at that. Could he be open to me? Allow for love?
We bathed and quickly dressed. The ride to the court was quiet. The closer I got to the castle, the more my anxiety rose. It had been years since I’d been in the royal court. The last time was over five years ago at one of their royal balls. I was part of a noble family, but we weren’t that high up, and I had separated myself from that life to barely be considered from the upper class anymore.
Aaron reached over and grabbed my hand, squeezing my fingers reassuringly. I looked down at our linked fingers. I liked seeing them together. Enjoyed his calming touch. I thought back to our night activities, and my face heated with the memory. I wanted that again. Well, maybe with more space in between the lovemaking. My thighs were still a little sore. But it was worth it. He was worth it.
The transporter stopped at the tall gates to the castle. It was in front of a long winding road that ended in front of the enormous black castle with colorful stained-glass windows and golden rooftops. The castle sat high on a hill overlooking the town. Floating orbs of light lit the enormous driveway full of sleek transporters. It was pristine, as if time could never weather it. The castle had not changed in thousands of years. My family, well, ancestors, had worked on building the castle. Designed it and magically ensured it stayed beautiful until this day.
The guards, incredibly tall beings in well-tailored navy blue, gold-buttoned uniforms, opened the gates, and we traveled up the road to the castle, where we were directed where to park.
Once inside the grand foyer, we were welcomed by a staff member, a male with cropped white hair in a deep purple suit, who led us to a meeting room, one of many most likely. This one was smaller, filled with artwork on dark purple walls that held intricate molding. The floor was made of a black wood, hidden partially under patterned rugs. Seating formed in a semi-circle in front of a grand fireplace.
“Shall I get you anything?” the staff member asked. “Food or drink? I know we retrieved you before you had a chance to enjoy your morning.”
We both told him no, and he gave us a curt nod. “Very well. Make yourself comfortable. The queen will be here shortly.” He then left us alone.
I sat down on a two-seater couch, Aaron sitting beside me. “I think it’s a good sign that it’s just the queen that’s coming. I don’t think it means you’re in trouble for anything.”
Aaron slowly nodded but did not speak, his face a mask of concern; brows furrowed together. Was he worried that we might break apart? I patted his thigh, and his body seemed to unwind before my eyes, shoulders dropping. I was more than ecstatic that my touch seemed to help him.
The door opened, and another guard appeared, standing to the side as the queen entered. Queen Tunisa was a stunning Faerie with smooth onyx skin that looked surreal. Her large, round, deep blue eyes surveyed us, a tiny smile upon her glossy lips. She was bald, with gold tattoos covering her head like a flattened crown. I was used to seeing her in a gown, but today, she was wearing a yellow suit, the top of which had a train that touched the floor, splaying behind her.
She sat down on a plush golden chair that faced the fireplace. A more comfortable throne. Her appearance was youthful, but her eyes held an intimidating wisdom that made people quiet in her presence. “So good to see you, Melina. It’s been quite some time. And you, Aaron, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I heard your wedding was lovely; you even saved your new wife’s life. Seems fighting these dreadful beasts has become your second job. I heard about what happened last night. We thank you, and you and your friend shall be rewarded.”
He shifted uncomfortably, clearly not enjoying the praise. “Thank you, Queen Tunisa, but we don’t need anything. We were doing what anyone with fighting abilities would do in that situation.”
She pursed her lips, nodding. “One could only hope. Well, I am sure you’re wondering why I called you here without notice. I find that when citizens are called by the court, they feel unsettled until we meet. I decided to lessen that nervousness by meeting right away.”
That was a kindness that made sense.
“I shall get right to the point. I’m sure you both have heard about the success rate between our kind. It’s not as high as we’d like due to these attacks and disappearances. We can’t have that. The blending of our societies is paramount for our kingdoms to remain peaceful. Unfortunately, we haven’t determined the cause of what is occurring, but we want our couples to feel safe in their unions. We are not leaving you defenseless and have been monitoring you. I must ask, how is this union going? Our matchmakers believed you both would be quite compatible.”
I straightened up. How much would she want to know? I couldn’t even really describe where we were right now. Perhaps it was easier to just say everything was fine. There was no need to disappoint her. “We’re doing well. The bond has been easy.”
“Has it been easy for you as well, Aaron?”
Aaron cleared his throat and straightened up. “It’s been amazing, your highness. ”
Her eyes gave away no emotion, which unsettled me. Did she believe our bit of dishonesty? “Wonderful. Have you been claimed?”
I exchanged nervous glances with Aaron. The truth was always the best policy. There were experts who could tell if we were lying. A bonded omega’s scent changed. Not to mention, I would have a mark to show. “No, we haven’t done the claiming.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Now, why is that, dear? You both claim to get along but haven’t claimed each other? I realize it has only been a little over a month, but that is enough time for an omega and alpha living together. It’s okay to admit that things have been challenging.”
I dropped my head, feeling remorseful under the weight of her wise gaze. “Apologies, Your Highness. We didn’t want to disappoint you.”
She gave me a sympathetic smile, folding her hands in her lap. “You needn’t worry about me. I know these things can take time. But unfortunately, time is not what you have. The one thing those who have survived, and so far, prospered in these arranged marriages, have in common is that the alpha claimed their omega. Perhaps it has something to do with the claiming strengthening the power of the pair.”
Aaron scooted to the end of the seat beside me, his face a mask of curious confusion. “Why would that make a difference? Are you saying the claimed have been attacked and survived?”
I hadn’t heard of anyone who survived the attacks. They were all either dead or missing.
Tunisa nodded. “Most recently, there was an attack in the former Nodoor state. An omega was attacked in her home by some retched beast we’ve never seen the likes of. She survived with only minor wounds and was able to kill it.”
“What about the alpha?” I asked.
“He’d gone away for business to another far-off unseelie land. They’ve not been able to reach him yet.”
That was not good, but at least the omega was alive. “Could it have been a coincidence? How are we sure it’s the claiming bond that helped her survive?”
Queen Tunisa waved a hand out to the side. “We aren’t sure. We only know that none who have died were claimed, and those who survived have been. It is worth trying, at the very least. It surely can’t hurt.”
It surely could hurt. I’d be claimed, mind, body, and soul, with someone forever. I could not go into a claiming lightly.
Aaron gave a quick shake of his head, brows narrowed in thought. “So, we have no understanding of who or what is behind these attacks? No pattern to which pairings they select? Perhaps they were easier prey. More vulnerable in some way? Or it happened at a certain time into the marriage?”
The queen gave a patient sigh. “There are no patterns other than the one we discussed. Some of the deceased were soldiers. Their homes were warded. Some of the deaths and disappearances occurred within a few weeks of marriage to almost a year. I appreciate the service both of you have and continue to give by entering into this marriage. That has not been lost on your leaders. We only want to ensure your survival. Short of locking you all away until this is resolved, we don’t know of a better way. Do not be alone; guard your homes and selves well, and claim your omega. We cannot afford to let these marriages fail. Our union may depend on it.”
The way she said it felt ominous. There was just a hint of fear in her voice. She was worried for us. I understood the concern. It wasn’t as if I forgot all about the risk, but I hated living in fear. Getting claimed to avoid death felt…sad. Everything in the past several weeks felt sad to me. Marriage, cohabitation, now claiming. These were all things meant to be part of the foundation of love, yet here, they were all acts of preservation now.
The queen spoke again, grabbing my attention once more. “Love is beautiful. Love can grow and happen. Later. And if it doesn’t, some of us are chosen to make sacrifices for the greater good.”
I wondered if she was talking not just about us but about herself. Had she married the king out of duty? I’d always wondered about them. At every ball I attended, I would watch them to see if there were signs of genuine affection. However, they were never fully relaxed in public. Easily, I could see they were a strong partnership, and they seemed to like one another, but I wasn’t sure I saw love. At least not any they allowed us to see. They’d been together for over 100 years. Could they be together all this time without love? Or perhaps it had grown, as she was implying.
“Why keep doing these marriages amidst all of these attacks? Why not break them up?” I asked .
I felt Aaron shift beside me, and I glanced over at him. He was staring straight ahead, but I could see his jaw twitch as if he were holding in tension. He didn’t like my question. Would he want to stay married if freedom was an option? He could stay here and be free.
“Something is behind this that doesn’t want these marriages,” the queen began. “Ending them would be giving in. We are not ignorant to the dissenters to our union or any parts of our treaty. But they don’t dictate how to rule a kingdom. The king and I do.” The queen straightened up, looking even more regal than before. She had that air about her as if she were born to lead. She probably was. “If you don’t make this work, you will only be given another arranged marriage.” She eyed both of us carefully. “One that may not be as compatible as this one. You must commit yourselves to this path. Do the claiming. There is no other option.”
* ~ * ~ *
We left the castle just as silently as we’d first arrived. Only this time, I didn’t have nervousness. This time, I had a gnawing worry. Worry that my plan had fallen apart, I had no other options left in my bag of tricks. The queen had made it very clear. There was no way out for us. If I did manage to get Aaron to agree to a divorce, I wouldn’t be free. I trembled at the possibilities of who they could match me with after. Someone who wasn’t as kind, as attractive, or as stimulating.
Was I trapped in making this work? There could be worse marriages to be trapped in. I wasn’t na?ve. And as much as I wanted to rebel and let the queen know I didn’t appreciate being forced into any kind of marriage, I realized she wouldn’t care. She was beautiful, she was wise, but she was also scary. We had freedom, but only so much. The price we paid for living on this side of the realm was faithfully adhering to the rule of the court.
And Aaron wasn’t a bad companion. He was just hurting. Now that I understood why he said he couldn’t offer love, maybe there was room to change that. Did I even really want his love? I think it might be nice. If he was this way without loving me, what would he be like in love? Then again, if he refused and insisted on living this loveless life as some sort of penance, I couldn’t stomach that either. It was depressing for me and him.
I looked out of the window. “I was going to buy a memory-wiping potion.”
He closed his eyes and dropped his head. “You want to forget me. That will make things harder, Melina. No way out of this will give you your freedom back.”
I stiffened, annoyance creeping under my skin at him for being so dense. He didn’t understand me. Rather, he didn’t understand that I was already breaking for him. “I know there is no way to end the marriage. I said that I was going to buy it. I’m not anymore. I like you, and I think you like me, too. It’s time we get out of our heads. At the very least, we can do the claiming, even if this just becomes a business arrangement like you suggested earlier.”
He opened his eyes with his head still hanging, looking at me like a petulant child. “I didn’t offer a business arrangement,” he muttered.
“Well, it wasn’t romance. I recall the word ‘partnership’ being used. ”
“I regret that now. But Melina, as much as I care about you, I can’t claim you. At least not now.”
Hearing that hurt more than I thought it would at this stage in our relationship. Weeks ago, I wouldn’t have cared. I would have been happy he hadn’t wanted to claim me. Now, the thought felt less scary. Even desirable. I was now fully open to love with Aaron. It was time to face it. “Why?”
“Because I never want you to regret it. When I claim you, and I want to, it’s forever, and I won’t let you go. I hope that doesn’t scare you, Rabbit.”
He wanted to claim me. I turned to him, my heart speeding up as I tried to wait for him to say the words I longed to hear: that he could love me, that we could be the relationship my heart had longed to have for so many years. I was feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and anxious, and my mind couldn’t take this anymore. “What are you saying, Aaron?”
He lifted his head, face softening. “I want to get it out of my head that I don’t deserve love. Deserve you. I want you.”
My stomach fluttered at his words. He sounded so sincere. “You want me?”
“Since the first day,” he whispered in a low voice, his silver eyes intense and filled with desire. For me.
My heart leaped at the words, at the longing on his face. He wanted me. To one day love me. That’s all I ever wanted. To love and be loved in return. I started to smile, but he spoke again. “My problem is that being with you makes me forget about all the horrible things I’ve done. And then, I feel guilty.”
My heart dropped, and I leaned away, but he grabbed my hand, lacing his fingers through mine. “But I don’t want you to run from me. I know I’m asking for a lot. You don’t owe me anything. Certainly not your patience. But I’m not asking you to be patient because I’m not sure I could ever love you. I’m asking for your patience to earn your love.”
He brought my fingers to his lips; his eyes locked on mine so deeply that I was afraid to look away. To lose the connection. I could see his struggle and wanted to help him find his peace.
He continued. “I’m glad you’re not taking the potion because I don’t want to be alone in those memories. I’ll never forget, and I don’t want to.”
I nodded, fully falling into wherever we were going, and it was terrifying.