Chapter Six Jalisa #3
Jalisa cleared her throat, fake smiling at my older sister.
I could feel her struggle to maintain her cool.
We could both be hotheads when it came to defending our relationship to others.
Even when fake. “Ok, you’re being inappropriate, but I don’t mind taking your money since you’re being all sorts of disrespectful right now. How much do you want to gamble?”
My youngest sister, Rami, looked over to Jalisa with a pleasant smile, her green eyes seemingly kind, but I knew better.
“We’re sorry, Jalisa,” she began, tossing her brown hair over her shoulder.
“It’s just that you weren’t there after you called it off with Ivan because he allegedly wasn’t good enough for you.
We were stuck picking up the pieces. He was a drunken, depressed mess for so long.
Then you come back and we’re afraid he could get hurt again. We have concerns.”
For the first time, Jalisa’s smile faltered.
She couldn’t tell them the truth about why she broke up with me and instead had to look like the elitest noble they’d always believed of her.
I squeezed her hand, wishing she could read my mind.
To know I had her back. Even telling them the truth would do no good because it would justify their hatred of her family even more and make them want to take some sort of action.
They wouldn’t see the breakup as her protecting me or even care.
“I know you all have concerns,” I started. “But I don’t. Jalisa and I have talked. We both made mistakes before. I wasn’t innocent.”
Nepa made a pfft noise. “It’s easier with an ice dragon.”
She really didn’t care that Jalisa was standing right there. I was going to have to cut this off. “No, it’s easier with the person you love. I wish that for you some day.”
“I wish the same for you.”
Jalisa huffed, letting go of my hand and pointing a finger at Nepa. “And I wish you’d leave. Why are you even here?”
Nepa adjusted in her seat, eyes narrowing. “Because we are supportive family.”
“Well, your version of support is severely lacking. And another thing-”
I gripped her hand, trying to reign her in. I loved her zeal, it meant she cared. Or so I told myself. “Wife, I think I’m ready for some cake. Let’s go.”
She gave another tight smile to the rest of the table and turned away with me.
“Make sure you treat him well this time, Jalisa,” Nepa called. “There won’t be another chance.”
Jalisa turned slightly to say something back, but I gently pulled her to me. “Ignore them. This will be the last time they talk to you like this. I swear.”
“Oh, I’m not worried.”
I knew that was because she thought this marriage would be over by the time we would have to see them again. She was wrong about that.
She blew out a breath. “I need a break.”
I raised her hand and kissed her smooth skin, loving that I was allowed to sneak in so many kisses. “Can you break with me?”
She nodded silently, and we left the space.
“I’m sorry about my family,” I stated, following her down the hall.
She cocked a brow. “You, apologizing for your family? That’s a first. But don’t be, I understand their anger. Although I did want to punch your cousin in the face.”
She stopped several doors down from our party. We entered a dressing room, and she quickly collapsed on the couch, not worried about wrinkling her dress, as I closed the door.
She kicked off her heels and then folded her legs underneath her. “This is intense. I think I’m going to go home now. Can you handle the rest of the party?”
I snorted before sitting down beside her, closer than I needed to be since there was space left on the couch. “No, I can’t. This is your mess. You have to stay to clean it up, love.”
She rested her head on the back of the couch, looking pensive. I tapped her chin. “What’s on your mind?”
“What happened to you after I left?”
I scrunched up my face. “Well, that’s not romantic talk.”
“This arrangement is not about romance. It’s about survival.”
“Meh, it could be about more.”
She lifted her head and looked at me with quizzical eyes, and I felt momentarily uncomfortable under her inquisitive gaze. Was I being too vulnerable? Did that make me look bad? What was she thinking? Was it that far out of the realm of possibility for us to get back together?
She poked me in the arm. “I’m being serious, Ivy. Tell me what happened.”
I smiled, nostalgic at her use of my nickname. She was the only one I didn’t mind calling me that. “So, I’m your Ivy again.” I slouched down on the couch. “Only when you want something, though. It doesn’t matter, you did what you did.”
She sucked her teeth. “You know that I had to.”
I wrinkled my nose, annoyed. She never let me help. “I know that, like always, you liked to fix everything on your own. For an elite, you are awfully independent. And stubborn.”
“And you’re avoidant when it comes to problems from those close to you. You think things aren’t as bad as they seem or that they’ll pass.”
“They usually do.”
“Well, this didn’t! Your family didn’t like me.
They barely spoke to me. You said they weren’t big talkers, but that was a lie.
I saw that clearly tonight. And I heard rumors from friends of friends about how awful your sisters talked about me.
Every time I tried to mention it, you got defensive.
Just like you did earlier when I told you my parents said your family was threatening to kill me.
You didn’t want to acknowledge it. Neither of our families are highly moral, but only I seem to know that.
So, yes, I made the decision to end things to save us because you weren’t going to help.
You’d stay in denial until we were both dead. ”
I frowned, sitting up. Her words had cut, and I wanted to retaliate.
To tell her she was wrong. That she was trying to find a way to justify her actions or make her own family seem less deplorable.
And the me from a few years ago might have done that.
But the me of today was finally listening.
The me of today felt relief at finally seeing the love of my life again.
And the me of today knew, deep down, that Jalisa was absolutely right.
I wouldn’t have listened. It would shake me too much to believe anything negative about my family.
It still did. While I wasn’t ready to admit they could do any real harm beyond their words, I could admit that they didn’t like her as much as her family didn’t like me.
I released a deep breath, resolutely, and quickly patted her thigh. “I don’t want to argue with you, Lisa. I may not agree with how you handled things, but I now understand why you thought you had to. And I’m sorry.”
She waved me off, shaking her head. Despite how much she worked to demand respect, she had no problem with being modest in return. “Now will you tell me what happened to you after I left?”
“I don’t want to, but I will. I wasn’t in a good space, Lisa.
You know how much I loved you. It ripped me apart when you left the second time.
I felt guilty, angry, sad. Then when I found out you left town without a word, I got scared.
I wondered if something had happened to you.
I demanded answers from your family, who almost had me arrested for accosting them.
I thought you’d come back, but the more time that passed the more depressing it all became.
Even your friends had no answers. But sometimes I thought they were lying.
I gained weight and drank too much. There was a period of time where my hygiene was highly questionable.
” I chuckled, but it wasn’t funny. I was not someone I’d want her to see then.
“I was miserable to be around for a long time.”
I stopped and stole a glance at her. She looked down at her hands, lips turned downward. “This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have dragged you into this. No wonder your family hates me even more than they already did. If they really believe this marriage is real, they're probably scared for you.”
I shrugged. “But I’m not worried.”
She shifted to face me, placing a hand on my thigh. “I’m sorry. About how I handled things.”
I tensed at her touch. Every bit of contact from her squeezed my heart.
It was too much to be this near to her and not rush back into what we once had.
To touch her how I wanted. I reached up and brushed the back of my fingers against her warm cheek.
I wanted to touch more of her. Wrap my arms around her and hold her tightly.
Bury my nose into the crook of her neck and inhale her sweet scent until I fell asleep. “Tell me, did you hurt too?”
I didn’t mean to sound so vulnerable then.
She pulled it out of me without even trying to.
She leaned into my touch and closed her eyes, brows wrinkling.
And I allowed myself to truly believe that this could all work out in the end.
“Of course I did, Ivan. It tore me apart to break up with you, but I didn’t want you hurt.
I loved you too much. Even when I thought you had easily gotten over me with that other fae, I was devastated.
I tried to stay angry, but there were moments, dreams and memories of us when we were happy, that I couldn’t release.
There were times I thought about going home, if just to see you.
But I didn’t want to put you in danger. Having my parents here, among others, is not good. This was selfish of me.”
I shook my head and lifted her chin so that she would look at me again. “No, it wasn’t. I’m enjoying myself. I’ve liked reconnecting with you. So, I guess I’m selfish too.”