Chapter 30 Willow
thirty
Willow
What happened back there between Noah and Kiara? One minute we’re a happy group, the next the two of them are having a secret argument. I need to find out from Kiara.
“You guys should come over for dinner,” I declare when the apartment is emptied of my stuff and clean, keys in the super’s mailbox. It took the four of us less than an hour, and that’s including setting up the smaller TV.
“You sure?” Colton asks, eyes darting between Noah and Kiara.
“Damn right I am.” I have every intention of sneaking a conversation with my bestie. We’re both too busy with tourist season to catch a coffee just the two of us.
“I’d say it’s about time,” Kiara drops with a smile. “I’ll bring a strawberry shortcake.”
Noah clears his throat. “Perfect.” He wraps me under his arm and gives me a shoulder squeeze. “Come by whenever you want. I’ll fire up the grill.”
Two hours later I’m slightly relaxed thanks to some breathing exercises and the Gold Rush Noah placed in my hand when I came down from my shower. Kiara and Colton are playing with the puppies, Beck took over the barbecue, and Lane texted me she was out and not to expect her for dinner.
Noah is tucked against me on the patio sofa, his arm around my shoulders, stroking my bare arm and holding me close enough that I can feel his heartbeat.
“Ribs’ll be done in fifteen minutes,” Beck announces.
I lean into Noah, enjoying the PDA. We should have friends over more often. Then I remember why I wanted Colton and Kiara over to begin with. “Kiara, let me give you a quick tour,” I sort of order, reluctantly leaving Noah’s arm and stretching my hand to her as if she were a little girl.
I know how these things go with our friends. We end up talking for hours, then suddenly someone decides it’s time to break and everyone scatters.
If I don’t manufacture an alone moment now, I’ll never have it.
“You need to tell Noah how you feel,” she states the minute we’re alone in the library, an imposing room right next to the parlor.
“How I feel about what?” I ask, guiding her upstairs.
She stays quiet while we’re on the staircase, her footsteps and breathing enough to convey she’s… annoyed? angry? upset? It’s hard to tell.
“How you feel about him,” she hisses, catching up with me as I swing bedroom doors open on our way to the end of the house.
I stop abruptly. “How I feel about him?” I repeat.
She crosses her arms, legs slightly apart, and declares, “He needs to know you love him.”
Ab-so-lu-tely not. Why is she bringing this up? Is this to distract me from the reason we’re having this evening together? I frown at her. “What happened back there, between you and Noah?”
She shakes her head in weird little jerks. “Nothing. What are you talking about?”
“You’re not gonna tell me?”
“Nothing happened.”
I cross my arms. “I’ll ask him. You better spill. Now.”
Amusement twinkles in her eye. “Sure, ask him,” she answers with a shrug. “See what he says.”
Why is she so smug? I’m about to lash out at her, call her out for keeping something from me. But I know what she’ll say. That I’m the bigger liar.
“I’m getting hungry,” I say, trying to hide my frustration. Damn right I’ll ask Noah. This isn’t the end of it.
I pivot to take us back downstairs, then stop abruptly and take her in a hug, emotion overtaking me. “I can’t be in a fight with you.”
“We’re not in a fight,” she answers.
“Okay-good,” I say, exhaling. “I—I need my friend back.”
“Been right here all the time, believe me.” There’s that smugness again, but I’m not pushing my luck and asking her what that’s about.
“Okay-good.”
She pushes me away, a big smile on her face. “Okay.” She nods. “Good.”
As we go down the stairs, the front door opens. “Anybody home?”
“Puppies!” Skye yells as she rushes down the hallway.
Chris drops a small pink bag, and we don’t need to see his face to know that the baby is coming. “Gotta go, Grace and Ethan are out, and Alex is—”
“Ohmygod yes! Go-go-go.” Kiara and I push him out, tell him to drive slow but make it fast, to call, to tell Alex we love her, to—
“The car just left,” Skye says, giggling over us. She’s holding a puppy—from the white spot on the front paw, I know it’s the shy one. “He’s so sweet,” she says, petting the dog who’s licking her face.
“I think she’s a girl,” I offer.
“Awww.”
We’ve barely sat down on the patio to eat when Moose jumps over the fence, and he and mamma dog greet each other. She lets him sniff the puppies, and before long he starts playing with them, letting them crawl all over him.
“Ribs are delish,” I tell Beck, and a chorus of thank yous echo my words. Between the baby coming tonight and the dogs, our attention’s been everywhere except on the food.
Then Noah’s phone rings, and he confirms Moose is here, so within minutes Justin and Chloe join us.
Then it’s pure, utter chaos. At some point someone decides we should take a swim. Beck appoints himself puppy guardian, Kiara and Colton hold Skye’s hand as they dip their feet in the river, Noah brings a ball out, and I swim across.
“Careful!” Noah calls out.
I reach the opposite shore and give him a wave, then pause for a minute to take in the picture of this evening.
The mansion’s windows cast an inviting glow against the darkening sky, the bistro lights on the patio bringing a smile to my face.
My friends’ laughter. Puppy barks echoing.
Shreds of conversation drifting my way. All this speaks of a simple and glorious life I want to preserve.
And so far, I have. So no matter what Kiara thinks, I’m not going to ruin it all by spilling my stupid heart.
As I’m about to swim back across, car headlights sweep slowly across Lilyvale’s facade, making me instantly feel uneasy.
Sure, it could be curious tourists. Or someone making a U-turn. But it looks vaguely familiar.
It’s too dark to make out the color, but I’m ready to bet it’s red.
Shaking the unease, I swim quickly back to our group.
As Noah wraps me in a towel and gently squeezes the water out of my hair, I think back to Kiara’s words and dismiss them.
I do the same when we end the night roasting marshmallows and he takes me onto his lap because that’s what the other couples are doing.
Then again as he lets his hand roam on my naked thigh.
And as he whispers in my neck, “I think it’s time for Skye to go to bed,” and that makes me shiver and he says “are you cold” and I answer “no” and I feel his body tense and I wonder if he’s got an erection and that’s why he’s pushing me away from his warmth and toward his knees.
But I’m too chicken to risk what I have for something more.
Skye falls deeply asleep two pages into the story she asked me to read. She’s wiped out from the excitement of the day and from staying up past her bedtime. I leave a nightlight in her bathroom and close her door softly, then pad to our bedroom.
From the couch, Noah mumbles, “Beat you,” with a smile in his voice, then stirs and settles.
I stay still, memorizing this moment. So what if I’m not his real wife?
I’d give anything for this. Our race to the couch.
Our fake PDA. Our moments together at the store.
This can be enough for me. More than enough.
The next morning, Grace picks up Skye and convinces her to go to school. “You can skip school when the baby comes home,” she says, and this wins her the argument.
Skye’s still holding a puppy when she’s about to leave, after breakfast. “Can I come and visit her?” she asks timidly, hope in her large eyes.
“Of course you can,” I say as I hug her goodbye.
Noah smiles once they’re gone. “I see a puppy request in the near future. Chris is going to have his hands full with a baby and a dog.”
“Ohmygod yes,” I snort. “Good luck trying to tell that little one no. Skye is the best kid.”
“Plus they have the space,” Noah says.
“They are so totally getting a dog.”
“A real big dog.”
For some reason the idea of our friends getting one of our puppies makes us laugh like crazy.
That night, I stay up late in the parlor talking with Lane on the phone.
Her happiness seeps through, all giddy laughter and soft sighs.
Her dinner with Jake went better than she’d hoped, and now they’re headed out of town for a few days.
“Would you mind telling Noah?” she asks me, hesitation in her voice.
“Of course,” I tell her. After I hang up, I stay still for a moment. Lane’s trust lingers like a gift, warming my chest. It’s something I didn’t know I needed, but it’s there now, soft and powerful. A sister’s confidence.
But now this means Noah and I will have the place to ourselves, and this sends a confusing shiver through me.
We’re getting better and better at acting as a real couple in public, and I don’t trust myself alone with him.
What if I mistakenly sit on his lap when we’re alone in the kitchen?
Kiss him good morning when there’s no one around?
It’s not like I have to remind myself to do that.
It’s scary how naturally it comes to me.
This man is a magnet to me, always has been.
What if I ruin everything just by being myself?
Its dark inside the bedroom when I enter. No shape on the couch. Disappointingly, not in the bed either.
The bathroom door creaks, partly open, light spilling onto the floor. I reach for the lamp, ready to say something. But no one comes out.
And the shower starts running.
Steam curls upward, blurring the glass partition.
My pulse quickens as Noah steps into view. Naked. The sight of his body pierces me with want.
I shouldn’t be looking.
I shouldn’t even be here.
I should tiptoe out of the room before he senses my presence.
That’s what any decent human being would do.
But he steps into the shower, tilts his head back, the water pelting his face. Heat ripples through me. I can almost feel the warmth of the shower hitting him rhythmically.
Soap suds slide down his back and I track them shamelessly, pulse thudding in my throat. His shoulders roll as he scrubs. His thighs tense and relax. It’s impossible to keep my gaze from lowering, and I stay transfixed.
Then he turns.
I’ve imagined him plenty of times. Filled in the blanks.
But nothing, nothing prepared me for the vibration I feel as my eyes follow the V carved low on his abdomen, the trail of hair leading down to his magnificent, half-hard cock.
Oh. God.
His erection grows. “Ah, fuck,” he mutters, the curse vibrating through me.
He wraps his fist around his cock, and my hand slides under my panties.
Everything about this is wrong, and yet the craving takes over. My body responds to his.
Head thrown back, bracing against the wall with one hand, he increases his pace. The crease between his brow deepens as he opens his eyes partway. It feels like he’s looking at me, even though he can’t possibly see me in the dark room.
Still, I fantasize as the air between us seems to hum.
What would it feel like to have him hover over me, come inside me, kiss me, whisper my name as he made me his? If I were brave enough, I’d take my clothes off right this minute and slide into the shower, get on my knees, and finish him off. There’s no way he’d say no to that. No rejection possible.
Turns out, I’m a wimp because I stay hidden and come on my fingers, which is absolutely frustrating and does nothing to quiet my ache for him. It’s been brewing for a while; it was going somewhere with that almost kiss the day we found the puppies.
As he steps out of the shower and towels off, I dash to the couch and duck under the duvet he laid out, burying myself in his scent.
I try to calm my heartbeat, but it’s still wild in my chest when Noah comes out of the bathroom and flicks the light off.
By the sound of it, he’s turning down the sheets. All senses alert, I wait for him.