Chapter 2. Rom-Coms Are Funny （Unless They Cost You Five Hundred Bucks）
Rom-Coms Are Funny (Unless They Cost You Five Hundred Bucks)
I first met Rob Carmichael when Ellie Pang, who is now one of my best friends, leased the store next to mine and discovered that the place was in dire need of some TLC.
Alec Mackenzie, Ellie’s (now) fiancé, was Rob’s best friend and business partner, and Rob was the contractor who had handled the work on her store.
On a passing glance, Rob could probably be best described as that popular guy who was everyone’s high school crush: tall, fit, with tousled brown hair and friendly eyes that seemed to be perpetually smiling.
He moved with an effortless physical grace, was generous with his dimpled grins, and was always quick to charm anyone with a pulse in his path.
But he was also a bit too similar to Leo: confident, too good-looking for his own good, and should probably come with a flashing red light and a warning in big, bold capital letters: CAUTION: PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK.
I should know, because despite my extensive experience with the dynamite combo of relationships and disappointments, I was once gullible enough to be persuaded into giving Rob a chance, but he hadn’t even bothered showing up for our date.
And while I might have forgiven him for making me waste forty-five precious minutes of my life, because it was in the past, that didn’t mean I wasn’t still a little bit wary around him.
It was ironic—and mortifying—that he had been the one rescuing me from this horrible date.
Rob gave the bartender his drink order, then turned to me, patiently waiting as I studied the drinks menu with a more intense concentration than probably necessary.
“You’ve been staring at the same page for a few minutes,” he finally pointed out. “Have you noticed there’s another page at the back?”
My grandmother’s voice echoed in my brain, chastising me. Remember your manners, Kim. I sighed and looked up at him. “I’m sorry. It’s been a long night. Thank you for helping me out just now, but please don’t feel like you have to stay and keep me company.”
“Oh, not at all. More than happy to be here. I was watching you and your date. It was fascinating to see your face turning into so many different shades of red in just a few short minutes.” He flashed me a cheerful grin as I told the bartender what I wanted.
“But seriously. That date must have been a real doozy. You looked like you were going to barf at some point.”
“I should have. On one of them. Why didn’t I think of that?”
He let out a mock gasp. “No! You mean the date wasn’t a smashing success?”
I chuckled, feeling some of the tension from the date and seeing Leo slowly ebbing away. “Oh, best first date I’ve ever had. Couldn’t keep our hands off each other. Haven’t you heard? We’re eloping next weekend.”
“Congratulations.” Rob made a motion like he was hopping off his stool. “Should I go and get him? I’m sure you’d rather spend time with your betrothed than me.”
“Don’t you dare.” My hand shot out to grab his, anchoring him in his seat. “That was one of the worst dates of my life. Although at least he showed up.” I smirked at him. “Refresh my memory. I think that’s a concept you’re not entirely familiar with?”
“I’m never going to live that down, am I?” His grin turned sheepish. “Come on, Kim. It was, what, three, four months ago? And I’ve apologized at least five times now. I admit, it wasn’t my best moment, but my head just wasn’t in the right space at that time.”
“I know, I know. It’s not your fault. It was Alec’s fault for setting us up, even though he knew you’d just gotten out of a serious relationship, you weren’t ready to move on, yadda yadda.
” I thanked the bartender as he set down a shiny copper mug of strawberry mojito for me and a bottle of light beer for Rob.
“Anyway, I appreciate the assist tonight, and sorry if I derailed your dinner plans.”
“I wasn’t here for dinner. I was working.”
“What?” The mojito paused halfway to my lips. “You don’t really work here, do you?”
He took a sip of his beer. “Has it ever occurred to you that I might own the restaurant?”
“No way. You?”
“Kimiko Halim. That hurt my feelings.” Rob placed one hand over his heart, his expression wounded. “Is it hard to believe that I could own a fancy place like this?”
I raised my eyebrows. “Yes, because you don’t own restaurants and bars. You work in construction. And the guy that does own this place is an actual chef who used to work in posh, world-class restaurants.”
“You’re being extremely condescending.” He produced a sad pout, the corners of his lips drooping all the way to his chin. “Maybe I’m a wildly rich secret investor and entrepreneur on the side. Have you ever thought about that?”
“Mmm, I don’t really spend my free time thinking about you, to be honest.”
“That’s too bad, because you’re missing out on a lot.” His pout was replaced with a chuckle when I rolled my eyes. “I was here to meet the owner about some renovation work for a new place he’s opening.”
“You’re meeting a client on a Saturday night?”
“No time like the present.”
“Setting a high bar for workaholics around the world, aren’t you?”
His easy smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “If you think I’m a workaholic, wait until you meet my dad.”
“So, a workaholic, and you’re alone, which means I can safely assume no significant other to spend your weekends with?” I mimicked playing a sad tune on a violin. “Kind of tragic, Carmichael.”
“At least I didn’t need rescuing from a horrible date.”
I grinned. “At least I had a date.”
“Ha! That’s true.” He nodded. “Who was the other couple?”
“My ex and his fiancée. We were together five years before he left me for her.”
“No wonder you looked like you were ready to claw his eyes out.” He cocked his head, assessing me. “Gotta say, his fiancée looks like she could be your sister, though. Tall, brown eyes, long dark hair. He clearly has a type.”
“I’m not his type. She is.” I took a long sip of my mojito to get rid of the bitter taste of betrayal in my mouth.
“They were coworkers, then gym buddies, which turned into fuck buddies behind my back. Next thing I knew, he told me he’d met someone else, but he had the audacity to tell his family that I was the one who had cheated on him.
And now they’re having a baby together.” I wasn’t usually an oversharer, but it was probably the shock of seeing Leo again after so long that had loosened my tongue.
“That’s really messed up.” Rob frowned. “Your ex is a dirtbag. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
“Don’t be. Seeing the two of them only validated my theory, actually.”
“What theory?”
“There’s no such thing as soulmates and happy endings. It’s nothing but myths, lies, and bullshit, romanticized and fed to the unsuspecting public so they’ll buy into the commercialism of it all.”
“Wow. That’s such a sad way of viewing the world,” Rob said. “I think there’s a happy ending out there for everyone. Whether they want to pursue it or not, that’s another story.”
“This, coming from a man who’s working on a Saturday night, all alone.”
“I’m taking a break from relationships. Doesn’t mean I don’t believe in happy endings.”
I smirked. “Well, my advice is to take your happy endings and shove it—”
Someone cleared their throat before I could finish my sentence. I turned around to see a frowning Shane standing behind me.
“I thought you had a wine tasting session.” His tone was accusing. “This doesn’t look like one.”
Rob didn’t miss a beat. “There’s been a delay. We’re still waiting for it to start.”
Shane narrowed his eyes at Rob, then at me. “Right.”
“Thanks for a wonderful evening, Shane.” I gave him a polite smile, because even though he was the date from hell, my grandparents had raised me to always say please and thank you. “I’ll pay for my share of the dinner when I leave. Take care.”
“You too, Kimmy.” He hesitated, before asking, “Can I call you tomorrow?”
“I think we both know this isn’t going anywhere,” I said. “Good luck with your Kim-finding quest, though.”
His face fell, but he nodded, gave Rob another quick glance, then left.
“Kim-finding quest?” Rob looked amused.
“Trust me, you don’t want to know. And that is just one example in a long list of why happy endings only happen in movies, romance novels, and fairy tales. Not real life. At least, not mine.”
But even as I said those words, a tiny prick of fear threatened to overtake me.
The afternoon of my grandmother’s will reading floated into my mind, clear as the bluest sky, as if it hadn’t happened a year and a half ago.
The two-year period stipulated on the will was quickly running out, so the clock was ticking.
Loudly. Reminding me that I only had five months, twenty-eight days, and probably three hours left to do what my grandmother had wanted me to.
If I couldn’t find a partner and settle down by the end of that time, I couldn’t inherit her store and continue her legacy, which meant I wouldn’t be able to repay my grandparents for raising me. If I failed, the business would be sold, and the proceeds donated to a charity specified in her will.
But I knew there was no such thing as happy endings and settling down.
It was an old, antiquated notion, but my grandmother had grown up in Asia in the 1960s, and it was what she had believed in.
So my plan was to find a man, date him until the store was mine, then gently uncouple from the poor, unsuspecting victim.
It was a simple yet brilliant plan, if I did say so myself.
“They do happen in real life.” Rob’s reply snapped me out of my thoughts.
“Obviously you have a totally different life experience than mine.”
“Maybe I do. My parents have been married for over forty years. I have five older siblings, and they’re all in happy relationships. And look at Ellie and Alec, childhood friends turned soulmates. Weren’t you cheering them on to get together last year?”
“Because Ellie is the happiest I’ve seen her when she’s with him,” I said. “I’m thrilled it worked out for them, but it’s just not for me.”
“Why not?” Rob slowly sipped his beer, his eyes thoughtful as he watched me. “I think it’s wonderful to build a life with someone who has your back, who’s going to be there for you through thick and thin. Share a family and kids and maybe a dog or two, and the rest of your lives with each other.”
“Aww, how sweet. The way you view the world through rose-colored glasses.” I drained my mojito. “Sounds like you need to get on a dating app to find your future partner and start mapping out your happily-ever-after.”
“One day.” He grinned. “Work’s priority right now. I’m happy to wait for the right person to come along.”
“You’ll be waiting for a long time, because they don’t exist.” I hopped off the stool. “It’s late, I better go. Thanks again for the rescue.”
“Glad I could help.”
Rob tossed some cash on the bar for his drink, and followed as I went back into the adjoining restaurant to settle my tab.
“Your bill comes to a total of five hundred and forty-nine dollars and ninety-nine cents,” the manager said. “Will you be paying by cash or card?”
My mouth fell open. “That can’t be right. I had an appetizer, a main course, a glass of red, and a mojito. And a cup of coffee and dessert, which I didn’t even get a chance to enjoy. That wouldn’t be five hundred fifty dollars.”
The manager peered at his screen and tapped a few keys.
“I’m seeing here two appetizers, two main courses, two sets of coffee and desserts, a glass of our house Shiraz, one strawberry mojito, and two bottles of the 2012 Fitzgerald Creek cabernet sauvignon.
” He printed off the itemized bill and handed it to me. “Does that look right?”
My eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as I scanned the list of items and the eye-watering prices next to each line. Did Shane really buy two expensive bottles of wine for himself and leave me with the entire dinner bill? He wasn’t kidding when he said he loved a good bottle of wine, was he?
This was why I was not a foodie, because I couldn’t afford to eat in exclusive, super-pricey restaurants, and it was just my luck that this one rare time I did, my jerk of a date left me high and dry to pick up the astronomical check.
Give me a bowl of ramen or a plate of nasi goreng over this any day, because at least they wouldn’t cost me my hard-earned money.
“I know the owner.” Rob was scanning the bill from behind me with a frown. “I can have a chat with him and explain the situation.”
“He’s just left for the night,” the manager said, his tone apologetic. “I could try to give him a call, if you like.”
I sighed, exhaustion suddenly washing over me, and all I wanted was just to go home.
“Don’t worry about it.” I handed my credit card over, because Shane was my date, and it wouldn’t be fair to the owner.
He was running a business, not a charity, and if I were in his position, I knew I’d prefer not to give free meals and expensive wines to douchebags who skipped out on their dates.
“You sure?” Rob asked, his frown deepening.
“Yes.” I nodded my thanks as the manager returned my card and the receipt. “This, by the way, only proved my point that happy endings don’t happen in real life. You don’t see this on TV, or the big screen, or in romance novels, do you? Only the smiles and the happy endings.”
“Except in really funny rom-coms, maybe,” Rob said, before quickly adding, “Not that I think this is funny.”
“They’re funny until they cost you five hundred and fifty dollars.” I gave him a tired nod. “I’ll see you around, Carmichael.”
I walked away and pushed open the heavy front door, while silently berating myself, regretting my foolish decision to bring practically a stranger to an expensive restaurant. What on Earth was I thinking?
Not only was I five hundred and fifty dollars poorer now, but I was also back to square one, nowhere near what I’d set out to do, and therefore, nowhere near meeting the deadline that was breaking every imaginary speed limit toward me.
Five months, twenty-eight days, and three hours would be here before I knew it.