Chapter 5. The Ideal Man Does Not Exist （or Does He?） #2
“That’s it for now.” I popped the last piece of my banana bread into my mouth. “You think that’s achievable?”
“I don’t know. I stopped taking notes after ‘breakfast in bed.’” He scanned his questionnaire. “Next: How would your friends describe you? Serious answers only, please.”
“This is starting to feel like a job interview. Am I secretly interviewing for a role in your business? Because I’ve already got my hands full with the yarn store, and I’m trying to stop job-hopping, thank you very much.”
“What do you mean, job-hopping?” He slid me a curious look. “How long have you been running the store for, anyway?”
“A year and a half, and it’s probably the longest I’ve ever stayed in one role.”
Rob went back to his laptop and muttered as he typed, “Has commitment issues.”
“I just haven’t found my niche, is all.” I could hear the defensiveness in my tone.
“What other jobs have you done in the past? It might be useful to know, so we could find someone with a shared experience.”
“You name it, I’ve probably done it.” I started to check things off my fingers.
“A barista, a waitress, a pool lifeguard, a photographer’s assistant, worked in a call center, and a brief stint as a morning radio announcer.
” At the baffled look on his face, I paused.
“Should I stop? Because I can still go on, and I’m not even joking. ”
“Please continue. At least you’re telling the truth this time.”
“I’ve been an office receptionist, a cinema operator, a dog walker, and a nanny. Did seven months as a property stylist.”
His gaze turned curious. “A property stylist, huh?”
“There were several others, but I can’t remember them all.
Oh! I was an assistant zookeeper once, but three weeks in, I quit when they rostered me to work in the snake enclosure.
” A shiver went through me at the memory.
“And no, I don’t have a negative childhood experience with snakes.
I’m sorry if you’re a snake lover, but they’re just not for me. ”
“But why did you change jobs so often? Because you didn’t know what you wanted to do with your life?”
The answer was probably deeper than what I was willing to share with him right now. “I thought I did, but things change. People and plans change.”
“Okay.” He glanced at his laptop. “Things your friends would say about you.”
Relieved that he didn’t press further, I decided I owed him a real answer this time. “They’d call me loyal and supportive. I can be a bit too blunt sometimes, but I’ve also been known to be the first to lend a hand whenever someone needed help.”
“Name two things for which you are most thankful.”
“My health. My family and friends.”
Rob asked me a few more questions before finally nodding with satisfaction. “That should do it. Let’s move on to the dossier.”
“The what now?”
Instead of answering, he shifted his laptop so the screen was facing me, then tapped open a presentation.
My eyebrows shot up toward my hairline as my jaw slowly lowered.
It was a thorough rundown of the first wedding we were attending, with information on the bride, the groom, the bridal party, and separate profiles for each potential date.
“Now, obviously we don’t have enough time to find you candidates at the first wedding based on your answers, since it’s only a few days away, but that will help us with the second one.
The guys on this dossier might not be specifically based on the questionnaire, but they’re still good men that I know will be attending the wedding, and I’ve known most, if not all of them, for at least a few years. ”
I quickly scrolled through the presentation, and he’d covered everything: basic facts on each man—education, hobbies, occupation—and deeper, more detailed information, including history of their past relationships, likes and dislikes, which sports teams they support.
There were pictures, lists of social media handles, and links to online interviews and articles.
“This seems a bit excessive. A tad stalkerish, even.”
“It’s not,” Rob said. “It’s called being prepared.
I have a template from the ones I did for my siblings and cousins, and I already know some of the basic info, so it was just a matter of filling in the gaps that I didn’t know, and those were easily found online.
There might be overlaps, by the way, since some of these guys might also be at the other weddings. ”
I glanced at the screen again, and panic started to claw its way around my insides. “Tell me again how you’re qualified for this. One long-term relationship and you’re suddenly Cupid’s prodigy? Why aren’t you looking for a relationship yourself?”
“Because I’m taking a break from relationships right now, but I know what to look for in a partner.” He pointed at the presentation on his screen. “I guarantee these are genuinely nice guys who wouldn’t stiff you with a dinner check or shatter your heart into pieces.”
My guilt nagged at me. He didn’t want to introduce me to someone who might break my heart, but he didn’t know that I had every intention of breaking someone else’s heart. Should I be upfront about my real reason for doing this?
No. Not until I knew how much I could trust him.
I settled for a vague response. “I don’t have the best track record when it comes to relationships. Even if I do start dating one of these guys, I don’t know how long it’ll last.”
“You won’t know until you try.”
“Are you always this optimistic about everything?” I raised an eyebrow at him. “They’re your friends. Are you not disturbed by the possibility that I might crush their hearts into tiny little pieces?”
“They’re big boys. They can look after themselves.”
“So you’re saying you’re heartless.”
“I’m sensible,” he said. “They’re all adults. Successful, well-rounded, intelligent men. They should know there might be risks to meeting a smart, beautiful woman and possibly falling in love with her. If their hearts do get broken, they’ll survive.”
“Did you just call me smart and beautiful?” I cocked my head at him, ignoring the sudden somersault in my stomach. “What’s with the compliments?”
He shrugged. “Because it’s the truth. Anyway, here’s the lowdown on this weekend’s ceremony.” He scrolled back to the first slide. “Gracie Platt and Jayden Lee are childhood sweethearts. They have a best man, three groomsmen, a maid of honor, and three bridesmaids.”
I gave an admiring murmur when a picture of a gorgeous man appeared on the next slide.
“First candidate. Tony Bailey, thirty-nine, Jayden’s best man.
He’s a criminal defense attorney, and the youngest partner at his firm.
Oldest of four boys, grew up Catholic, served as an altar boy when he was younger.
Hard worker, smart, and volunteers what little free time he has at his local youth center. ”
“He sounds like a saint.” A hot saint, if there was such a thing. Dark hair, deep-blue eyes, piercing gaze. On paper, perfect. A good-looking, successful man I could date for a few months.
“Hold your horses, we’re not done yet. Single guy number two is one of the groomsmen.
Spencer Au, thirty-six. He’s a financial advisor and has a string of prestigious letters to his name: CA, CFA, CFP, and MBA.
Two younger sisters, both married, so his parents have been pressuring him to find someone and start producing grandchildren to carry on the family name. ”
“Not sure I’m ready to start procreating, but he’s cute.”
“He rows and plays football, so he’s fit. Isn’t that one of your requirements?”
I gave a reluctant nod. “It is.”
“Next candidate. Seriously, I think you’ve been looking in all the wrong places, because you’re so spoiled for choice right now.
Oscar Perez, thirty.” A photo of a devastatingly handsome man appeared on the screen.
“An actor, one of Jayden’s childhood buddies.
Had a small role in that hit Netflix action comedy everyone raved about last year.
The guy sings, dances, and writes poetry.
He’s into rock climbing, has a black belt in jiujitsu, and hikes on the weekends.
Takes his parents to all his movie sets, so he’s close with his family. He’s the complete package.”
“We can cross him out.”
“We can?” Rob raised his eyebrows. “Why?”
“Because he’s an actor, so he must have a long line of gorgeous people who are throwing themselves at his feet.”
“That might be true, but he’s looking for someone outside the industry, who doesn’t care about his fame.”
“Still, I’d probably go mad hanging around someone that active. I don’t even have time for real exercise because restocking the fluffy piles of yarn at the store every week is already strenuous enough.”
“Fine. That brings us to the last candidate. Ben Tran, twenty-nine. He’s a vet and runs his own clinic, so you can bond over your time working at the zoo.
And, get this: He put himself through college by working as a swimming instructor.
” He beamed at me, looking very pleased with himself.
“See how many things you have in common?”
I studied the face on the screen. Ben looked exactly like the kind of guy I could take home to introduce to my grandfather. Tall, a friendly smile, and intelligent brown eyes. Someone kind, who looked like he wouldn’t hurt a fly. Someone safe.
Someone I could probably trust, if my circumstances were different.
“Here’s what I suggest you do: Study the dossier in your own time, then decide which man you think would be the best fit.
I’ve prepared some date ideas tailored to each candidate based on their personalities, a few conversation starters, and first-date questions to help you get to know them better. ”
“You seriously did all this?”
“Prepared it after work last night.”
“I don’t know whether to be afraid or impressed. Either you’re a deranged, closeted stalker, or you have too much free time on your hands.”
“Neither. I’m just very thorough. I leave no stones unturned. What do you think?”
He’d done the work, like he’d promised. The men he’d suggested were all viable options, people my grandparents would be happy to see me “settle down” with, and definitely a huge improvement from all the weirdos I’d found online.
“You can personally vouch for these guys?”
“A hundred percent. I would never have suggested douchebags.”
Maybe this could work after all. “Let me study the dossier tonight.”
“Awesome.” Rob whipped out his phone and tapped his Calendar app. “I’ll send you the dates of the weddings. Let’s meet again on Friday for a follow-up. In the meantime, have fun going through those profiles.”