Chapter 69
SIXTY-NINE
Annalize was sat in one of the two booths right at the back of Marcy’s Café when Gracie arrived. The perfect one stood up to greet her and, at the sight of the very flat stomach of the woman who had helped to break her heart, Gracie let out an audible gasp.
It had taken a huge inner strength to agree to meet her and now that she was confronted with this surprise non-pregnant version, she wasn’t quite sure how to react.
She had been amazed, after Lewis’s many failed attempts at contact, that the perfect one had suggested meeting her, but after a short, sharp text exchange, here they were, sitting in Marcy’s just like in the old Lemon Aid days. Maya brought a menu over and discreetly squeezed her friend’s hand.
Without a word Annalize sat down, then burst into tears and began to blurt between snotty sobs.
‘I lost a baby. I’ve been really sick. I lost so much blood that they thought I might die. Gracie, I’m so sorry for what I did. I just didn’t understand… until now that is… what you must have been through.’
Suddenly, Gracie was confronted with not the hard-faced person she had been hating for so long, but another woman who had suffered the insurmountable loss of a child.
Gracie hoped the massive deep breath she had just taken would allow her to impart the compassion that she normally felt in this situation.
‘How pregnant were you?’
‘Sixteen weeks,’ Annalize blubbered.
‘Oh, Annalize, I know what it’s like when you see that the little soul dancing around on the scan and it is taken from you.’
Annalize noisily blew her nose. ‘I don’t think I’ll ever get over it.’
‘You will, I promise. You’ll never forget the horror of the physical event, I don’t think, but time is a healer in all cases of grief and anguish, even something as devastating as this,’ Gracie replied matter-of-factly. She then paused for thought. It was time to ask the million-dollar question.
Her voice wobbled. ‘Was it Lewis’s?’
It was Annalize’s turn to bring the little compassion she had within her to the fore. Her final deceit towards the woman in front of her could now be taken to the grave with the soul of her unborn baby. What use would it be for anyone to know that she had chosen Lewis as the father of her baby, thinking that his dark, good looks would make a beautiful child? And also that she would amazingly get pregnant at her first attempt at it.
‘God, no! I mean, what use would Lewis have been to me? I knew how much he loved you, Gracie. He would never have left you. Lewis was a drunken mistake and I will be forever sorry for what I’ve put you through.’
Not having realised the extent of relief she would feel on finding out it hadn’t been Lewis’s baby, Gracie felt strangely euphoric. ‘Do you want a coffee?’
Annalize sniffed. ‘Do they sell anything stronger?’
They sat drinking white wine.
Annalize checked her blotchy face in her hand mirror. ‘Thank you for giving me this time, Gracie. I really don’t deserve it.’
‘How are you and Lewis doing, anyway?’
‘As if I would have stayed with him after him being unfaithful. Come on, Annalize, give me some credit.’
‘That is so sad to hear. He loves you, Gracie, and you him. I can’t believe you’ve wasted everything good that you could have together. That whole night, it was me, not him. I was drunk. I came on to him. If I’m honest, I guess I was jealous of what you had with him. Something I’ve never had. See, I’m wicked. I deserved to have lost that baby of mine.’
Gracie shook her head. ‘Nobody deserves that, Annalize, not even you.’
Annalize drained her glass. ‘Do you hate me, Gracie?’
‘Hate is a very strong word.’ Maya swept by to pick up the empty glasses and gave Gracie a supportive smile. ‘I am very sorry for your loss, Annalize. I can’t say you will ever be my friend again, but I now run a club called Miscarriage Matters.’ Gracie took a flyer out of her bag. ‘The door is always open there, Annalize.’
Annalize replied quietly, ‘Thank you.’ She got up. ‘There is nothing more I can say, but I’m truly sorry. Goodbye, Gracie.’
‘Goodbye, Annalize.’