How to Keep A Demon (and Krax #2)

Chapter 1

CHAPTER

ONE

KRAX

“I swear by all that is unholy, Hecto, if you go through that portal, we’re done.”

Hecto didn’t say anything in return, mostly because it knew I was full of shit… and it didn’t have a mouth… and it was actually my detachable dick tentacle.

I lunged toward it, but it made a final dash through the small crack in the gates of Hell. I was in so much trouble.

I looked at the rest of my tentacles—well, the other five anyway. “You guys couldn’t talk some sense into it? Lucifer is going to stick a pitchfork in my ass and throw me down to the Seventh Circle.”

As Hell’s only krakubus, I was an enigma of sorts.

I’d inherited all my father’s kraken traits—most notably my sentient tentacles, including a detachable cock tentacle—which would have been fine, except I was also half incubus from Mother’s side.

I had a horny, six foot long trouser snake and a constant peanut gallery attached to my waist in the form of five other tentacles.

I was a man in a permanent, undulating flesh skirt without a dick.

Hooray for me. Fortunately, I also had two legs to walk around on, and they gave me zero problems.

Azmus and Moric, my third and fourth tentacles, worked together to lift and shrug. Shrug!

I reached through the portal, hoping beyond hope that Hecto got stuck halfway and I could grab it and drag it back to Hell with me.

We could talk about hooking up with some of the demonesses.

I mean, the succubi were out because I’d been raised by my mother and her “sisters” who were all succubi.

Even if most of them weren’t blood related, a lot of them had changed my diaper. Ew.

“Come on, Hecto. Maybe we can smooth talk one of the wraiths or something. I know it’s been a dry spell for a little while” —I mean, two hundred years only counted as a little while in my opinion— “but I’m open to talking through our problems.”

There was no point. Hecto was long gone, slithering its way into the human world and damning me to getting thrown into the pool of misery. Selfish asshole.

Someone cleared their throat behind me, and I let out an annoyed groan. My head thumped forward against the rock, and I wondered if I should smash it harder. It wouldn’t kill me, but maybe I could be comatose long enough that they’d forget what this looked like.

“I wouldn’t,” a gravelly voice said, and I sighed. Turning, I looked at Lucifer’s favorite hunters, Romanus and Rouen. They were huge, built, literal boulders and basically made to withstand the apocalypse.

“What are you doing, Krax?” Rouen asked, his lips twitching with amusement. Rouen was the more pleasant of the two. If he took the lead, I might actually survive this.

I wet my lower lip, pasting a nonthreatening expression on my face. “Just looking for Hecto.”

Was it weird that the most feared hunters in the underworld knew the name of my cock? Probably, but let’s say this wasn’t Hecto’s first time being a giant pain in my groin.

Romanus growled. “Your dick went through there? That hole right there?” Ah, fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck.

I nodded, gritting my teeth.

Running a hand down his face, Romanus blinked slowly. “Can you really not control that… thing?”

Throwing my hands in the air, I stomped around them. “I’ve tried. We’ve all tried.” I indicated the rest of my tentacles. “The selfish smegma face just doesn’t care about anything but getting laid.”

It was too much for Rouen, so a snort slipped out, then a hiss and wheeze, until he was bent in half, laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe. I was sure it would be funny to anyone whose penis was permanently attached.

Verrik, my tentacle with a very short fuse and no concept of consequences, balled up like it was going to punch one of the most dangerous beings in Hell. Fortunately for me, Nym wrapped itself around the grumpier tentacle and held on tightly. Nym was a lover, not a fighter.

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I looked imploringly at Romanus.

“If I can get topside, I can track it down and bring it back. This doesn’t need to go to the big guy yet.

” Appealing to the humanity in Hell’s creatures was usually an exercise in futility, but Romanus and Rouen had gotten a little soft since they met their gargoyle queen and made a little pack.

They looked at each other then back at me, at my crotch, at me, and then at each other. A silent conversation must have been happening, because Rouen was smiling widely.

“Lucky for you, our girl wants to visit family earthside, so we were going up anyway. Plus, we have two people who owe us a favor and can probably help you out.”

There was a lot to unpack there, but mainly… “You have favors owed to you by humans? Isn’t that against the rules?”

Only demons could make deals.

Romanus shrugged. “We know a guy. Besides, no one said they were human.” He looked at Rouen. “Get Rella and meet me up top. I’ll drop Krax at the demon’s house.”

Grinning widely, Rouen slapped me on the back so hard, it would leave a bruise. “Good luck!”

Romanus grabbed my hand and shifted us out of Hell.