Chapter 25 #2
“I couldn’t wait till tomorrow, and anyway, why pretend that the answers would be any different? Why aren’t you enjoying the evening with the men? You don’t get many chances to all be together.”
“No one wants my company tonight,” he said, taking another sip of his drink. “I’m a miserable bastard who, I’m told, needs a swift kick in the arse.”
“I’m surprised none of the others performed the favor for you. They all seem so obliging.”
He chuckled. “They would. But I prefer to sulk alone.” He gestured for her to sit opposite. “Not that you ever care what a man prefers.”
“I could leave,” she offered.
“No. Please stay.” He looked up at her with an almost guilty expression. “Don’t mind me. I’m a—”
“Miserable bastard, yes. We covered that.”
“Drink?” he asked.
“No, thank you.” She took the seat. My goodness, she thought. Here they were, being so civilized less than a full day after they’d behaved in perhaps the least civilized way possible.
“Why do you hate marriage?” Thane asked. “Tacita hinted that it’s not just a principled stand against tradition. It’s about your parents, specifically.”
Cat frowned. “She should not have said anything.”
“She’s worried about you, kitty cat. We all are. We want to help you. Kai’s suggestion makes sense. If you’re married, you’re no longer a target, even if we don’t ever identify who’s after you.”
“And all it costs is my freedom!”
“Don’t be dramatic. You could choose someone who will allow you to live as you like.”
“It’s the allowing part I object to. You don’t understand, Thane. If I need my husband to allow me my freedom, it’s not really freedom. It’s an indulgence. It could be revoked at any time.”
“Men aren’t monsters, Cat.”
“My father was. And he didn’t start out that way,” she said hotly.
“From the stories I heard from my mother, from Tacita, from others…he was charming and kind and romantic. At first. But then my mother had us, and he grew cold and hard and distant over the years. He scarcely saw us, and he fought with my mother every time he came home…which proved to be less and less often as Brodie and I grew older. The man seemed to despise my mother, and he didn’t like us much either.
Brodie knew how to manage him better, because he was a boy, I suppose.
But it got worse as time went by. You must know that Brodie bought his commission—well, made our father buy it for him—at the youngest possible age.
It was because he wanted to get away from home.
When my father died, I can’t pretend it wasn’t a relief. ”
“He died while Brodie was in the army,” Thane recalled.
“Yes, less than two years after he joined up. Papa liked that Brodie was in the army. Good solid work for a man…the killing of other men.” She winced, remembering who she was talking to. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s an accurate description. I killed a lot of men.” Thane took a sip. “In fairness, they were also trying to kill me.”
“Is that why you’re drinking?” she asked.
“Not directly. Not tonight. But sometimes, yes.” He put the glass down.
“Brodie told us when your letter arrived, announcing your father was dead. I didn’t realize it at the time, but he was a bit odd about the news.
Not as sad as one might expect. Now that I think about it, his father was the one subject he never wanted to talk about.
But he did always want to know about our fathers.
And mothers. Maybe he was trying to understand how parents ought to be. ”
“My father’s death was sudden,” Cat said.
“His heart, we were told. Just gave out one night while he was playing cards with his cronies. Nothing untoward or unusual. But life did get a little more…sedate in the house. Mama wore black, but she never looked better. Well, until she started getting ill. That was much later, though.”
“So you lost your father, then your brother, then your mother in the space of a few years.”
“I wouldn’t group my father’s death with theirs. Brodie and Mama were…I wasn’t…” She stopped, the grief welling up in her chest again.
“Drink?”
“Perhaps a little.”
He got up and went to a side table. Curious, Cat followed.
“Anything catch your eye?”
Well, he did, but Cat wasn’t going to say that. “Please choose something you think will suit me.”
He nodded, then selected a bottle and poured out something gold into a glass and handed it to her. “Try that.”
Cat sniffed it experimentally, and inhaled something like whisky, but also heather and spices and honey and somehow a whole blue sky. “What is this?”
“A local drink. Sort of a whisky and mead blend, but not exactly.”
She took a cautious sip, then nodded approval. “It’s very good.”
“Of course it is. It’s from the Highlands.”
Cat smiled at him. “You are somewhat biased.”
“If you stay here, you can drink it whenever you like.”
“That’s an interesting…proposal.”
He leaned forward. “I can include it in the formal offer. Brodie did ask me to take care of you. I think that does include an offer of marriage, especially if you’re in danger by remaining unmarried.”
“Brodie would never have asked you to shackle yourself to me. Would you have wanted him to marry Effie?”
“He’d have liked Effie,” Thane said, smiling. “Of course, she’s married already, but to answer your question, if things were otherwise, yes. I would have been relieved to know she had a man as good as Brodie.”
Cat sighed. “Perhaps not what I meant to argue. What I’m saying is…I don’t know what I’m saying.”
Thane reached out to her, removed the drink from her hand, then pulled her into his arms. “You’re tired.”
“I’m not.”
“You should be. I kept you up all night, and it’s been a demanding day, and you’re not even able to argue right now…and when has that ever happened?”
She laughed softly. How nice it was to have Thane hold her. His hands were stroking her hair, and she felt the heat off his chest.
The arousal that had been smoldering in her belly all day, every time she thought of Thane, suddenly kindled into a higher flame. She tipped her head up, finding him looking back at her.
“Thane, kiss me.”
He went still, but it was the sort of stillness a lion possessed before pouncing. “You said you only wanted to talk.”
“I was wrong. Please, Thane. We’re alone, and I don’t know when we’ll be alone again.”
“I’m slightly drunk,” he said in a tone of confessing something.
“Are you saying you don’t want me?”
“I’m saying I should know better, but I’m going to use the alcohol as an excuse to misbehave.”
Something dark and sweet uncoiled lower in her body. “I can’t wait.”
He pushed her against the wall, his mouth hot on her neck. He bit her hard enough that she winced, and then felt the heat flood her core. “Thane, you make me lose my mind.”
“Good.” He kissed her again, hungrily.
He was fully ready to take her, she saw with lust-tinged vision. Cat kept her eyes on his face as she reached down to circle his cock. His head tipped back as he let out a low moan of pleasure.
“Cat,” he groaned once. “Why are you torturing me like this?”
“You sound like you like it,” she countered.
“I do, I do.” He reached for her, catching her shoulder. “But it’s still torture.”
She smiled. “Get used to it.”
“You can’t keep doing this to me. We should stop. I should stop anyway. I shouldn’t be doing this with you at all, I just can’t help myself…”
“It helps me,” she said in a rush. “What we’re doing helps me. And I know it’s selfish but—”
“All right. That’s all I need to hear,” Thane told her, his voice low and gruff against her ear. “I will do anything for you, Cat. And if it helps you, you never need to apologize for it.”
She started to pull up her skirts, giving him access. But he shook his head. “Go to the desk,” he ordered, his voice hot. “I have plans for you.”
Cat managed to get there, despite her knees going weak at the sight of him so hard for her.
“Put your hands on the top. Lean over, all the way. There’s a good girl.” He practically purred now, and his hand absently pulled at his cock.
He strode to stand behind her. Cat whimpered in anticipation.
He pulled her skirts up slowly, exposing her bare bottom and thighs above her stockings. “Oh, that’s very lovely,” he murmured.
Cat looked over her shoulder to find him smiling at her in the most wicked way.
“What should I do?” she whispered.
“Look ahead, kitty cat.” He stepped closer and she felt him rub his erection against her bottom. It was erotic in a way she couldn’t describe. Then he slid one hand around and dipped it between her legs, where she was so warm and wet.
“Kitty cat,” he said, sounding inordinately pleased with her. “You’re ready for me.”
“Yes. Please, Thane.”
“I’ve imagined taking you this way. It will feel different. Spread your legs wide for me.”
She nodded, and then moaned as he slid into her from behind. Was she always going to be so wild for him?
“How do you feel?” he asked, his mouth by her ear, the whisky scent in his breath actually quite pleasant. She realized he was worried he was hurting her.
“Full of you. I like it.”