forty-two | will #2
Two minutes ago, I couldn’t stop talking. Now I don’t know what to say.
“I’ll track down Iris so you can say goodbye.”
I know Brighton is trying to give us some time alone, but Emberly is already turning away.
I don’t follow her.
Fifteen minutes later, I’m listening to Cab’s play-by-play of the entire evening while I finish cleaning up the kitchen. In my mind, I’m watching Emberly sitting in a private plane, laughing with Declan Murphy.
Brighton waits until Cab goes to bed before she grabs my hand, yanks me down on the couch so we’re almost nose to nose.
“Talk to me.”
“I don’t—” She stops me with a look.
“Don’t even. You had plenty to say in the kitchen. I don’t understand what the problem is. I’m thankful that Emberly was here … not just for the party, but for Iris.”
“That’s part of the problem.” I guess I am talking. “Iris is getting too attached to Emberly. She … she’s lost enough people.”
“So have you.”
I look away. “This isn’t about me.”
“Are you sure?”
“It can’t be. You know it wouldn’t work.”
“But you want it to. Don’t deny it.” Brighton stares me down. “Have you told her how you feel?”
“I tried that once,” I mutter.
“Oh my gosh.” Brighton rolls her eyes. “Are you talking about Serena? Everyone knew she wasn’t right for you—including you.”
“I …” Want to argue, but part of me knows it’s true.
“If Serena hadn’t broken up with you first, you would have ended it once you got over feeling flattered by her attention.
Your heart wasn’t broken, Will, your pride was hurt.
Maybe she and Emberly both come from wealthy families, but Serena was manipulative and …
mean. Emberly is kind. They’re nothing alike. ”
Leave it to a sibling to put it all out there.
She isn’t done yet.
“I think you’re afraid to admit you’re falling in love with Emberly.”
“Falling …” I choke on the word. “Do you hear yourself? This isn’t one of those movies you and Lexi like to watch, where everything works out and it starts to snow at the end.
” Why do I know this? “This is real life. And in real life, a guy like me doesn’t get the girl. It’s not like I have a lot to offer.”
Brighton laughs.
“You’re kidding, right? Do you know how many of my friends were crushing on you in high school?
You’re the guy who steps up. You’re steady.
Respectful. Not a player, like some of your friends.
You run a successful business.” She bumps my knee and grins.
“I’ve even heard you’re good looking, although I don’t really see it. Face it, Will. You’re a unicorn.”
A boring unicorn maybe. I work seven days a week. I don’t travel. Can’t make small talk or play the guitar.
“I’m committed to Cab … and Pinehart. You think a woman would sign on for that?”
“The right woman would.”
“This is a tough place to live, Bri.”
“It’s also beautiful. You can … breathe here.”
Brighton sounds almost wistful, and my big brother instincts go on high alert. Then, she points a finger at me and I wonder if I imagined it. “Take a risk.”
“You’re assuming Emberly feels the same way about me.”
Another laugh.
“What does that mean?” I demand.
Hope struggles to break free but logic wrestles it back down. Brighton isn’t exactly an expert when it comes to relationships. She’s like me. The life choices she’s made don’t leave much room for a social life.
“It means you aren’t as smart as I thought you were,” Brighton shoots back.
“Emberly is nice to everyone. And with guys like Murphy in her life?” I can’t compete.
“Declan Murphy isn’t in her life. He’s a client.” Brighton presses down on the word. “He hired her company because he’s building a new house.”
“I’m sure that was the reason.”
“I had no idea you were so cynical,” Brighton huffs.
“So you’re telling me that Murphy agreed to sing karaoke at Cab’s birthday party because Emberly is picking out paint for his walls?”
“He agreed because Emberly waived her fee.” Brighton smacks me on the arm. “Which I’m guessing was a lot of money. And I never saw Emberly looking at Declan the way she looks at you. You’re just too afraid to look at her to see it.”
Which makes me a boring, clueless, cowardly unicorn.
Yup. A real catch.
“Mom and Dad would be so proud of you, Will.” Brighton’s voice catches. “But they wouldn’t want you to use Pinehart as a hiding place.”
“I’m not hiding.” Even as I say the words, I wonder if they’re true.
“It’s not selfish to want more, you know. Mom and Dad were the perfect team, but I can’t imagine either one of them doing this alone. Based on what I’ve heard … and seen … Emberly brought life to the resort while she was here. And I really like what she brings out in you.”
“She lives … big.”
And my life is small. Measured in weeks. Check-in to check-out.
“I think you’re wrong. I think Emberly loves big. There’s a difference.”
I don’t know what to say to this. Except … she’s right.
And I made a big mistake.
I realize how big when I go downstairs to start the coffee at five a.m. The cabin next door is dark and Rosie is gone.
Brighton wanders into the kitchen. In plaid pajamas and her hair in two braids, she doesn’t look much older than Cab. “Are the pancakes ready, yet?”
Sounds like her, too.
“No.” I open the screen door to let Juni out and my faithful dog bounds over to Firefly. Whines at the door.
I can’t look at Bright, but the question churning through my mind all night breaks free on its own. “She heard what I said, didn’t she?”
I want an emphatic ‘no’, but Brighton sighs, confirming my stupidity.
“I think so. You didn’t exactly keep your voice down.”
“I don’t know what happened.” I rake my hand through my hair. “I met her pilot … and Murphy … and I realized how impossible it would be and … you saw the rest.”
“Did you try calling her?”
“What am I supposed to say? I’m sorry I was such an idiot?”
Bright hugs me. “That’s a good place to start.”
She’s right.
Brighton takes over the pancakes while I grab my cell.
Emberly’s phone goes right to voicemail. She’s either in the air already or she doesn’t want to talk to me.
It doesn’t really matter. They both mean she’s gone.
I walk over to Firefly, bacon in hand, to coax Juni back home and end up going inside.
The cabin is immaculate … and empty. There’s no note on the kitchen table, no dishes in the sink, nothing to prove Emberly was here. I check every room anyway. When I get to the bedroom, I see my flannel shirt folded neatly on a chair.
For some reason, that hurts worse than a goodbye.